Just curious if you are supposed to invite the pastor and wife to the rehearsal dinner? Fiancee can't find much info on what the consensus is for this. We are only having the wedding party and immediate family (no out of towners because that would bepretty much everyone coming).

12/19/2005 4:18:31 PM

no

[Edited on December 19, 2005 at 4:19 PM. Reason : but it's your fucking deal so do it if you want]

12/19/2005 4:19:11 PM

the last couple of weddings i have been to, the pastor and his wife were at the rehearsal...
at the last wedding i was in, the pastor directed the rehearsal

12/19/2005 4:19:43 PM

The last wedding I was a part of the pastor nor his wife were invited but it never occured to me that it would be in bad taste not to invite them. It's really a family/wedding party affair only.

12/19/2005 4:23:12 PM

Um - he/she should be invited. It'd in terribly bad taste to have him/her at the rehearsal - have the dinner afterwards - and not invite him/her.

12/19/2005 4:30:18 PM

the pastor and his wife were at my rehearsal dinner.

12/19/2005 4:31:17 PM

So maybe they were there and I didn't notice Seriously, this could very well be, so probably ignore my comment.

12/19/2005 4:31:47 PM

it'd be pretty tacky not to invite him and his wife. the rehearsal dinner is for the wedding party... that includes the pastor.

12/19/2005 4:37:13 PM

i guess it would depend if the pator was at the rehearsal or not

12/19/2005 4:38:46 PM

I agree with Queti

12/19/2005 4:40:14 PM

This is what we figured but I've never noticed the pastor at ones I've been to (then again I probably just assumed they were part of the other family). I guess they probably decline the invitations a lot because the pastor of a raletively large church (like ours) would pretty much have his Friday nights occupied with dinners for at least half the year.

12/19/2005 4:47:44 PM

We invited our pastor and he declined, although he did not stay for the reception either. According to my wife you are supposed to invite the officiant and significant other to rehearsal dinner and wedding reception. She works in the wedding industry so take that for what its worth.

12/19/2005 4:52:25 PM

the easy way to solve this is to make sure the pastor is a family member

12/19/2005 4:54:21 PM

There are only 4 people required to have a wedding. The minister is one of them. Invite him/her.

12/19/2005 4:56:07 PM

the easy way to solve this is to make sure the pastor is a family member get married w/o any sort of religious overtones.

12/19/2005 5:01:53 PM

Well, how about not getting married?

12/19/2005 8:51:42 PM

Quote :

"the easy way to solve this is to make sure the pastor is a family member get married w/o any sort of religious overtones."

Great, except that the only reason we are having a wedding is for the "religious overtones"

12/19/2005 9:16:44 PM

I'm pretty sure you're supposed to invite the officiant. We invited the priest to both the rehearsal dinner and reception, but he declined both and saved us some skrilla.

12/19/2005 9:18:34 PM

we are definately inviting the rev and her husband.

the rehersal dinner is traditionally supposed to be for the wedding party and their spouses and significant others. If you have a flower girl/ring bearer then you also invite their parents (and apparently due to age, they are optional ).

Some people though extend the rehearsal dinner to include out of town or extended family though this is very much an optional and up to you type of thing. My fiancee and I are against this partly due to cost and also because our parents really will not get a chance to meet much prior to this occasion so this is a good chance for them to mingle at a smallish affair prior to the weddingn day.

12/19/2005 9:48:44 PM

you absolutley invite them, hands down beyond the shadow of a doubt. Heck our priest ran up a higher bar tab than mine or my wife's parents did!

12/19/2005 11:00:26 PM

From Peggy Post (etiquette guru)

[quote]Should we invite our officiant to the rehearsal dinner and reception? What about the other wedding vendors? What's the right thing to do with regards to seating and refreshments for vendors?

Your wedding officiant and his or her spouse should be invited to the rehearsal dinner and the wedding reception. Although they might elect not to attend either celebration, inviting them is a respectful and considerate gesture. As for the organist and any musicians or soloists who perform at your ceremony, your may invite them to your wedding reception - and even to your rehearsal dinner - but these invitations are generally not customary or required.

Regarding your reception, be sure to plan food and refreshments for the wedding professionals who have helped you. This list of people could include a wedding consultant, photographer, videographer, band or DJ. You should consider the timing of meals served at your reception, offering more than just a snack, for example, if the professionals will be there during dinnertime. Speak with your reception site manager or caterer ahead of time about arrangements to see about having separate meals prepared (these may vary slightly from the meals your guests receive) for wedding vendors. Seating may be separate, as well. Some facilities offer a separate room or area for vendors. This allows them to have some down time in private. Whatever arrangements you make, it's important to make sure that your vendors get the opportunity to take breaks and eat.

When you put together your initial reception guest list, don't forget to include the officiant and his or her spouse and any wedding professionals you plan to include. Closer to the big day, be sure to let the caterer or reception site manager know the final count of how many meals you will need.

More good info from her here... http://wedding.weddingchannel.com/articles/experts/peggy_post/bridal_party_ages.asp

12/20/2005 8:26:32 AM