So, an intern walked by my office this morning as he was making his rounds. He's 19 years old and has been here for a few months. He comes by every now and then to say hi and is supposed to "ask" me questions about my work in an attempt for him to learn something. Usually he'll just say something crude or whatever is on his mind, and that will serve as the morning's topic of discussion.

This morning, he came in over to my desk and said, "Good morning, Mr. Anderson," as he shook my hand (he doesn't have to call me Mr, he just likes it because it reminds him of the Matrix). As he was shaking my hand, I could see that his mind got stumped over something. When he backed off and sat down in one of my chairs, he started to spill his mind.

He said that usually when people shake hands, there's a 50% chance that they beat off with that particular hand. With me, he noted, it's 100% and hoped I had washed my hand since. I acknowledged his accurate observation, and confirmed that the hand he shook was indeed the hand I use to beat off.

I then held up my hand in the shocker position and asked him if he knew what this was. He nodded, and told him that my girlfriend and I got a little frisky this morning before getting out of bed and that it might well have been that time of the month for her. I started looking at my fingernails and said "in fact, if you look real close, there's still a little..." at which point he interrupted me and told me I was a sick fuck, and he left my office straight to the bathroom to wash his hands

10/26/2007 9:39:57 AM

Good move.

You should've told him you didn't beat off at all and just "fisted" yourself with the nub.

10/26/2007 9:42:29 AM

nice

10/26/2007 9:43:27 AM

AHAHAHA


NICE

10/26/2007 9:43:35 AM

10/10

10/26/2007 9:46:54 AM

A+++ will read again




joe do you type with one hand or have an alt. method?

[Edited on October 26, 2007 at 9:50 AM. Reason : add]

10/26/2007 9:50:09 AM

ahahahahahaha

ha

hah

hahhahahahahhahahahahhahahahahaha

10/26/2007 9:52:54 AM

Finally, something almost worth reading on this damn website.

6/10

10/26/2007 9:53:06 AM

10/26/2007 9:53:54 AM

a joe##s thread never disappoints

10/26/2007 10:01:24 AM

hahahaha


gg.

10/26/2007 10:04:04 AM

10/10

10/26/2007 10:17:18 AM

I hang out and eat lunch with the interns and co ops at work since they are the only people there my age. I sometimes forget that I am a full time employee and that I can still make them all my lackeys and do my work.

10/26/2007 10:19:03 AM

ahahahaha, thread of the week

10/26/2007 11:36:22 AM

Finally, something almost worth reading on this damn website.


second, ToW

10/26/2007 11:38:22 AM

my hero

10/26/2007 11:38:56 AM

I Approve

10/26/2007 11:51:10 AM

oh damn

10/26/2007 11:52:36 AM

hahhaha

10/26/2007 11:53:06 AM

I like this story...i bet the kid looks up to you....he's all..."i wanna be like Joe numbers"

10/26/2007 11:54:11 AM

hahahahahahaha

10/26/2007 12:31:45 PM

Quote :

"...i bet the kid looks up to you....he's all..."i wanna be like Joe numbers""

i lolled again

10/26/2007 12:32:46 PM

ha, this is so funny to me. I was reading a joe#s post the other day and I started thinking about shaking hands with a one arm guy and thinking that it would be his hand he beat off with

10/26/2007 12:33:41 PM

Nice work!

10/26/2007 12:37:51 PM

Quote :

"i wanna be like Joe numbers"

10/26/2007 1:10:30 PM

joe numbers is one of my favorite tdubbers

10/26/2007 1:12:02 PM

lololololol

10/26/2007 1:12:39 PM

HAHAHAHA

what a great thread to return to after lunch

you never disappoint

10/26/2007 1:14:58 PM

if there was more of THIS on the wolf web we'd be in great shape

10/26/2007 1:45:49 PM

Great thread would read again and again

10/26/2007 1:58:27 PM

creativity in the workplace, very nice. I dont think he will be bothering you again EVAR

10/26/2007 2:00:41 PM

haha good story

10/26/2007 2:02:16 PM

I was like, how could he be sure its 100% then I was like
oooooooooooh riiiiiiiiiiiiight

10/26/2007 2:05:02 PM

9.5/10

10/26/2007 2:13:50 PM

Quote :

" there's a 50% chance that they beat off with that particular hand. "

Considering most people are right handed, i'd say it's a greater than 50% chance.

10/26/2007 2:22:06 PM

ahahahaha 11/10

this beats my syrup room thread

10/26/2007 2:23:42 PM

did you ever do anything with syrup in the syrup room? i lost track

10/26/2007 2:31:13 PM

search.....

10/26/2007 2:31:50 PM

^with as much as evan posts that will not be necessary

[Edited on October 26, 2007 at 2:36 PM. Reason : but thanks]

10/26/2007 2:36:00 PM

Mr. Joe Numbers Anderson

10/26/2007 2:37:13 PM

Haha, very nice.

10/26/2007 2:48:56 PM

but he has two arms

10/26/2007 2:53:30 PM

Quote :

"joe do you type with one hand or have an alt. method? "

10/26/2007 3:00:03 PM

he could type with his feet

10/26/2007 3:01:20 PM

he puts his other arm back on so he can type

duh

10/26/2007 3:01:33 PM

i asked because the grammar and spelling were both nearly flawless.

10/26/2007 3:02:30 PM

joenumbers ain't no dummy

10/26/2007 3:04:10 PM

Quote :

"you never disappoint"

Quote :

"a joe##s thread never disappoints"

Quote :

"ahahahaha, thread of the week"

i aim to please

Quote :

"...i bet the kid looks up to you....he's all..."i wanna be like Joe numbers""

Who doesn't want to be like JoeNumbers?

Quote :

"creativity in the workplace, very nice. I dont think he will be bothering you again EVAR"

It's not that I don't like him, he just tries to be a smartass and thinks he's cooler than he really is. But what 19 year old doesn't have a huge ego? He kinda reminds me of McLovin' from Superbad



And Jeepin4x4, StickyKeys FTW. Sometimes teh nub can be good for a Shift or a Spacebar, but because it's so short I have to position myself a little different, so it isn't as comfortable It's much happier just chillin on the armrest

10/26/2007 3:09:54 PM

^thank you.



joen00mbers!! ftw

10/26/2007 3:15:15 PM

Joe is the shit!

10/26/2007 6:21:14 PM