69 Suspended 15861 Posts user info edit post |
Warning: words
So anyway, I have had the flaming mudbutt all night, I ran back into the bathroom a little while ago, was like damn, i shoulda double flushed the last one. Flushed it, and realized it was clogged, luckily I was able to shut it off before it overflowed.
This is where the trouble starts, the water is 1" below the rim and I'm about to crap myself. I manned up and tried to keep my cheeks out of the water and let loose a full barrage. A little relief, but there is more on the way and its fuckin full.
Now for the gross part, I couldn't plunge it, or it would overflow, so I grabbed a taco bell cup out of the trash, turned the shower on, and started bailing. By this time, I still haven't wiped and realized I was also "dripping" everywhere.
I couldn't hold the second wave back any longer, but I had gotten the level back down far enough, so I turned around and let loose again. I was finally able to plunge and get it all down, wipe, wipe, wipe, and gave up.
Then I had the turdlets in the shower problem to deal with, I washed it all down, sprayed it with disinfectant, then hopped in and scrubbed my ass like no man has ever scrubbed before.
In short, he worst night I've ever had sober.
Moral: don't eat at taco bell 12/20/2007 10:30:03 PM |
casummer All American 4755 Posts user info edit post |
bwahahahahahahhahahahahahhaha
A+++, would read again. 12/20/2007 10:31:44 PM |
Slave Famous Become Wrath 34079 Posts user info edit post |
nice
tho I'd be more impressed if you'd re-enacted tubgirl and posted pics
[Edited on December 20, 2007 at 10:34 PM. Reason : x] 12/20/2007 10:34:45 PM |
69 Suspended 15861 Posts user info edit post |
my option before i started bailing was just to go in the shower, it was mostly liquid, but then i wouldn't be able to wash it down if a solid one popped out 12/20/2007 10:37:38 PM |
DiamondAce Suspended 12937 Posts user info edit post |
zxappeal is gonna love you. 12/20/2007 10:38:34 PM |
Callaway All American 2126 Posts user info edit post |
12/20/2007 10:39:49 PM |
Slave Famous Become Wrath 34079 Posts user info edit post |
if you get a solid one in the shower you can just turn the water pressure on high and it will usually break it down enough to go down the drain
as long as you didn't have popcorn that day 12/20/2007 10:40:22 PM |
pilgrimshoes Suspended 63151 Posts user info edit post |
so this is what it's like to be fat 12/20/2007 10:59:20 PM |
slackerb All American 5093 Posts user info edit post |
God damn yall some nasty ass people. 12/20/2007 11:04:28 PM |
pilgrimshoes Suspended 63151 Posts user info edit post |
i know right
ive had legit food poisoning twice
and never came close to this
nor ever considered posting anything like it on the internet 12/20/2007 11:05:25 PM |
EMCE balls deep 89771 Posts user info edit post |
I mean....this is an unfortunate story and all. But in all honesty, you probably deserved it... 12/20/2007 11:06:38 PM |
Talage All American 5093 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | "I mean....this is an unfortunate story and all. But in all honesty, you probably deserved it... could have kept it to yourself" |
12/20/2007 11:16:43 PM |
69 Suspended 15861 Posts user info edit post |
bttt for the mornin crew 12/21/2007 6:58:45 AM |
wdprice3 BinaryBuffonary 45912 Posts user info edit post |
bwahahahahahahhahahahahahhaha
A+++, would read again. 12/21/2007 7:00:39 AM |
evan All American 27701 Posts user info edit post |
if you eat taco bell, you deserve this 12/21/2007 7:01:19 AM |
69 Suspended 15861 Posts user info edit post |
just the one on western 12/21/2007 1:34:59 PM |
69 Suspended 15861 Posts user info edit post |
bump for ruckus italian sub mudbutt 1/14/2008 8:06:16 PM |
NYMountnMan Veteran 498 Posts user info edit post |
While we're on the subject of poop stories, here's a good one. It's alot of words, but worth the read.
http://www.ihos.com/steakhouse.html 1/14/2008 8:12:37 PM |
NYMountnMan Veteran 498 Posts user info edit post |
An excerpt from the above link:
"The Move"
For those women who may be reading this, let me take a moment to explain "The Move." Men know exactly what their bowels are up to at any given second. And when the time comes to empty the cache, a sequence of physiological events occur that can not be stopped under any circumstances. There is a move men make that involves simultaneously approaching the toilet, beginning the body turn to position ones ass toward said toilet, hooking ones fingers into ones waistline, and pulling down the pants while beginning the squat at the same time. It is a very fluid motion that, when performed properly, results in the flawless expulsion of shit at the exact same second that ones ass is properly placed on the toilet seat. Done properly, it even assures that the choad is properly inserted into the front rim of the toilet in the event that the piss stream lets loose at the same time; it is truly a picture of coordination rivaling that of a skilled ballet dancer. 1/14/2008 8:15:41 PM |
pilgrimshoes Suspended 63151 Posts user info edit post |
someone posted that a few years ago here
but it was by a different author, on a different site. 1/14/2008 8:16:23 PM |
69 Suspended 15861 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | "At that very split second, my ass exploded in what can only be described as a wake...you know, as in a newspaper headline along the lines of "30,000 Killed In Wake of Typhoon Fifi" or something similar. In what seemed to be most suitably measured in cubic feet, an enormous plug of shit the consistency of thick mud with embedded pockets of greasy liquid came flying out of my ass. But remember, I was only half-way down on the toilet at that moment. The shit wave was of such force and of just such an angle in relation to the back curve of the toilet seat that it ricocheted off the back of the seat and slammed into the wall at an angle of incidence equal to the angle at which it initially hit the toilet seat. Then I sat down." |
1/14/2008 8:19:40 PM |
XSMP All American 16674 Posts user info edit post |
1/14/2008 8:22:05 PM |
Vix All American 8522 Posts user info edit post |
Why are dudes so obsessed with talking about/taking a dump? 1/14/2008 8:24:00 PM |
Jaybee1200 Suspended 56200 Posts user info edit post |
haha, awesome story. I shit 6 times a day and typically have about 3 minutes warning but even I havent had something like this happen 1/14/2008 8:25:51 PM |
69 Suspended 15861 Posts user info edit post |
thats why
1/14/2008 8:26:15 PM |
Jaybee1200 Suspended 56200 Posts user info edit post |
^ HAHAHA, wtf? ahha mean, funny, but mean 1/14/2008 8:27:11 PM |
69 Suspended 15861 Posts user info edit post |
6 times a day? damn i thought my 4 was a lot 1/14/2008 8:28:47 PM |
Vix All American 8522 Posts user info edit post |
wat? 1/14/2008 8:28:55 PM |
pilgrimshoes Suspended 63151 Posts user info edit post |
how in the blue hell could one man shit 6 times a day
(i mean at even at a brisk 5min/shit that's like 2% of your day spend on the can) 1/14/2008 8:30:03 PM |
Jaybee1200 Suspended 56200 Posts user info edit post |
tis true 1/14/2008 8:39:36 PM |
69 Suspended 15861 Posts user info edit post |
add some good literature and thats 3 hrs a day 1/14/2008 8:59:36 PM |