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Klatypus
All American
6758 Posts
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update!
Quote :
"Took one 25 mg Adderal at 9:30 am. It is 11:30 am now. Here is my "trip report" so far:

Holy shit I am so Goddamn parched the whole time!!!! Mouth is so dry even though I have already had 63 fl oz of water in the 3 hours since I have been up (8:30-11:30), but I am so thirsty!!!! My job involves speaking 90% of the time, so that just compounds it (evaporation through mouth) as compared to someone who doesn't have to talk much on their job.

I have a slightly elevated heart rate and I am slightly hyperventilating, and I feel so much on edge, like I took a 200 mg caffeine pill. Unexpectedly high body load. I was so focused on the job earlier with 4 clients in a small room and I was bouncing off the walls and very animated trying to help them all, it felt great!

About to guzzle another 24 oz within the next 2-3 min. My "supplier" keeps texting me again and again asking me to drink water! More updates coming later!

Thanks Klatypus for your awesome advice and experience report!

Wraith, thanks for your comment. I don't know how taking half would compare with taking whole vis-a-vis the various effects, but I don't mind staying up tonight.... I will just get work done! Plus, I want to experience the full effects, so I would rather take the whole one!

P.S. Just felt sweating in my pits even though I am in a very cold room and I am shivering and have goosebumps

P.P.S. Just saw a bright flasher in my peripheral vision... did I take acid???"

2/22/2017 6:33:56 PM

Meg
All American
6582 Posts
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Quote :
"My long term significant other and I broke up about a month ago. . We just haven't let many people know yet. We are still good friends, and still live together. But moving day is coming up soon...
How do I date? Ugh....now I have to use condoms again "


2/24/2017 6:44:03 PM

synapse
play so hard
52611 Posts
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Quote :
"i'm writing this here because i have no other outlet. my wife and i found out 3 months ago that we were pregnant and found out yesterday that the heartbeat is no longer there and the baby hasn't grown at all since our last check up. i'm broken, she's broken, and we don't know what to do.

it's a painful thing. i'd already imagined the child, both as a boy and as a girl, and all the things we'd do together. i even started to imagine the life lessons i'd help it tackle and how all the things i'd do to let it know we cared. we tracked every element of the baby's growth as weeks went on, so we could know that it's little fingers, or ears, or eyes were there. we may have been only 3 months in but this was absolutely our child.

i no longer know how to act or what to do. it's not really a burden i can share with anyone else because we hadn't told people that we were pregnant. it's the worst pain either of us have ever felt and we're stuck keeping it on the inside and are supposed to carry on as if nothing ever happened. it's even more difficult because we're at a stage where many people we know just had a baby or are having them, so seeing them is like watching this life we were about to have play out in front of us but we can't participate. That's not the only imagery we have to worry about. The marvels of data driven advertising have us pegged. We've been receiving unsolicited formula samples to the house and are seeing commercials about pregnancy tests over and over on our Hulu accounts.

the best way to describe what i'm going through is that there is an eerie silence to the world right now; as if before music was playing in my world and now someone has turned it off. this has been so horrible that I'd never wish it on anyone.

i'm pissed that there is no time to mourn. as soon as you find out about the miscarriage the doctor is asking you to evaluate how you want to expel your baby. do you want to take a series of pills or do you want to have surgery that can range from $1200 to $7000, depending on your insurance. while the pills are much cheaper, they require 2 - 3 days of bleeding and tissue loss, but there is no time off for that and it's 2 - 3 days of constant reminder that your life has changed, but not for the better. given that we have to wait 3 months once the removal is complete, it looks like we'll probably conceive again right when we were supposed to deliver.

i've replayed everything we've done over and over and over again. they measured where the baby stopped growing, and it's amazing how many little things you can find to blame in a small window if you look hard enough. someone rear ended us, so it must be that person's fault or we asked for decaf coffee but the person probably gave us caffeine, so it must be that person's fault, and on and on and on. I want someone to blame so the next time i won't have to worry. these 3 months were filled with so much joy and the next time they'll be filled with so much anxiety. something that was so happy has just become so dark.

as with anything, life doesn't always work out but there are some little things that you believe you deserve and for my wife, not even for me so much, but for my wife she deserved this to work out.

if i didn't vent, i'd go mad and explode at the world, so thank you."


so sorry

3/14/2017 12:17:28 PM

moron
All American
29965 Posts
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^ i had a friend that went through similar thing, and their doctor neglected to tell them that 20+% of pregnancies end in miscarriage. If you asked anyone you know that has a kid or has tried, there's a decent chance they've been through the same thing.

3/14/2017 12:24:50 PM

Exiled
Eyes up here ^^
5100 Posts
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That sucks, sorry to hear.

3/14/2017 12:25:52 PM

EMCE
balls deep
87662 Posts
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Ugh, that's horrible. Our hearts go out to you.

3/14/2017 12:56:09 PM

beatsunc
All American
8696 Posts
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Damn that sucks. I have a little brother that I never met. Went full term but doctor didn't act quickly when placenta separated before birth in 1981.

3/14/2017 1:01:37 PM

jbrick83
All American
22593 Posts
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Have a friend that lost her girl at 8 months. Already had her baby shower, decorated the nursery, and given her a name. What made it even worse was that the father was from a hook-up partner that she didn't even like and they fought and hated each other the entire pregnancy (they never dated, he was already dating someone else when she found out she was pregnant, AND she originally told him she was going to have an abortion).

So her pregnancy was miserable and the father situation had such a bleak outlook. But you could tell she was just so excited about having this baby girl and she had come to her "happy place" about her situation. Then to have it all end...I don't think she's recovered yet (I mean...she'll probably never fully recover, but just become a normal member of the world again). Happened back in December.

As for the confession above...you can't dwell on that stuff about "what did we do wrong?". My wife has a friend that has one kid and has been trying to have a second kid for almost two years and has had more than a few miscarriages (really early ones, like first couple of weeks...and a couple of later ones as well). She hasn't had an alcoholic drink or drop of caffeine the entire time. Basically lives her life in a bubble. They've done pretty much every medical procedure you can think of and the doctor's are still chalking it up to bad look. They're trying one more route (apparently this is suppose to pretty much be a guarantee) before giving it a "break" for a little while. Then I have food and beverage friends that went on constant benders and drink a pot of coffee a day before finding out they were pregnant three months in (and have healthy babies). And others who are the exact opposite who either can't get pregnant or have "issues" in their pregnancy or with their child. I feel like it's 99% genetics and luck. There is nothing that you or your wife did that caused your miscarriage unless she was smoking crack and/or shooting heroine behind your back. You can't hold that guilt in or will really start to effect your life and your marriage.

3/14/2017 1:17:48 PM

ShinAntonio
Zinc Saucier
18806 Posts
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Sorry for your loss. I'd at least tell parents/siblings if you're close. Two people shouldn't have to face this kind of loss alone.

3/14/2017 1:18:39 PM

Nighthawk
All American
18672 Posts
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Had a former classmate this happened to recently while at the end of the first trimester. They had not let anybody know about it, but they had even got professional photos taken. They decided to share the photos and just tell everybody about it. Not because they wanted pity, but because for he and his wife they found it gave them comfort to talk about it and hear from others who have gone through it. I know several folks who have but felt too embarassed/sad/ashamed or whatever to talk about it. It really sucks for them and for anybody that this happens to, but maybe opening up and talking about it would be your best option. At the very least people would understand what you are going through right now.

3/14/2017 1:45:49 PM

SSS
All American
3270 Posts
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Quote :
"i had a friend that went through similar thing, and their doctor neglected to tell them that 20+% of pregnancies end in miscarriage. If you asked anyone you know that has a kid or has tried, there's a decent chance they've been through the same thing."


My sister is a genetic counselor and wishes more people knew this.

That said, you can equip yourself with all the statistics in the world, and knowing them doesn't matter because this is your very personal, very painful experience.

I'm so sorry this happened to you. I agree that both of you need to talk with someone to deal with the loss and let it be a part of you, but not in control of you.

Best wishes.

3/14/2017 2:11:27 PM

elise
mainly potato
13035 Posts
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1 in 4 women have suffered a miscarriage. If you are able to share please do. You never know who you may help. We are currently dealing with secondary infertility and it sucks, talking helps, but it still hurts.

3/14/2017 2:19:09 PM

NCSUam0s
All American Tease
2196 Posts
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I am on the fence about telling right away vs. waiting 3 months.

A friend of mine went through a miscarriage a couple years ago. She was waiting to tell people that she was pregnant until 3 months along but then had the miscarriage just before she planned to tell. She and her husband felt all alone after the miscarriage because no one knew why they were grieving/sad/etc and it hurt even more to keep explaining.

She now has two kids and pretty much told everyone right away about those pregnancies. That way had anything happened, she wouldn't feel alone in the grief.

That being said, I'm so sorry for your situation. No matter how common it is, nothing makes it any easier.

3/14/2017 2:36:42 PM

synapse
play so hard
52611 Posts
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Quote :
"I don't really hate bbehe. We're secretly in love and are going to run away together"

3/14/2017 5:08:31 PM

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