What a waste of time and effort...when over the top is so much faster. Do you waste time with your fly?

8/23/2010 10:07:50 AM

Fuck you are gross

8/23/2010 10:08:54 AM

Mine is long enough I just pull it out from the bottom.

8/23/2010 10:11:26 AM

Quote :

"Fuck you are gross"

Well at least I didn't say something like "taking a shit without pulling your underwear down"...

I bet you're the type to hold your farts in, even when nobody's present...or the type to get out of the shower to pee.

8/23/2010 10:18:50 AM

Having a hare time finding the little guy amidst the hair, fupa, and stank nastiness?

8/23/2010 10:20:47 AM

LOL...I might be a grower and not a shower...but I has no problems finding it! Unless it's like 10 degrees outside...and then I gotta pry it out, pee, and then tuck it back in...and then piss all down my leg.

8/23/2010 10:23:19 AM

I'll allow it.

8/23/2010 10:24:53 AM

Problem with over-the-top is that the elastic interferes with proper flow.

8/23/2010 10:28:38 AM

i'm a pants down around the ankles kind of guy

8/23/2010 10:32:09 AM

^ that made me laugh

8/23/2010 10:35:04 AM

Quote :

"Well at least I didn't say something like "taking a shit without pulling your underwear down"..."

that makes more sense, they need to put a zipper in the back
then you can do a goatse with your pants and do your business

8/23/2010 10:35:22 AM

Quote :

"Problem with over-the-top is that the elastic interferes with proper flow."

8/23/2010 10:50:46 AM

^

8/23/2010 10:51:55 AM

I'm a leg hole guy whenever I've got shorts on

8/23/2010 10:52:59 AM

^drop a knee technique

used to do that shit in soccer all the time.

8/23/2010 10:55:36 AM

Definitely leg hole when I've got shorts on, 'specially if I'm down on the boat, peeing over the side...

8/23/2010 11:05:00 AM

The worst is trying to piss into the little funnel while strapped into an ejection seat when you're wearing a drysuit for flying over cold water.

Your flight suit and drysuit can unzip from either the top or bottom (for this very reason)...but it sometimes almost necessitates the "up & over" method, due to not having a lot of freedom of movement while strapped in.

The next problem is that, unless you have a 12" penis, the combined bulk of your underwear, flightsuit, parachute harness, and drysuit conspires to make the operation difficult.

If the relief tube/funnel apparatus isn't generous in length, you then have to accommodate by, ummm, anatomical means. The problem with this is that do so will put a kink in your hose, and this is no way to live...so you loosen the hip straps on the ejection seat, kinda raise up off the seat a couple of inches, and then just aim straight down (rather than kinking it). You can't just aim from half a foot away--the funnel is only a couple inches in diameter, at most.


If you've successfully managed this operation expeditiously enough to avoid pissing yourself, there is one more pitfall that you can fall victim to...there is a ball valve in the funnel with a little lever to press. You must hold this lever down while you're using the relief tube. Since you're holding the funnel, your penis, and potentially trying to keep the drysuit material out of the way, this can be slightly precarious. If your finger slips off of the lever, you are probably fucked. The funnel/tube can only barely accommodate a strong flow rate, and it will only take a second or two for it to back up and spill piss if that "flush" valve isn't held wide open.

8/23/2010 11:21:24 AM

Quote :

"Problem with over-the-top is that the elastic interferes with proper flow."

this. End up with dribble all in my drawers

8/23/2010 11:22:45 AM

Over the top. My undies don't have a fly.
Out the bottom every now and then when I'm wearing shorts or wandering around the house in my underwear.

Quote :

""Problem with over-the-top is that the elastic interferes with proper flow.""

WTF? Pull the fucking elastic down.
You don't just drape your dick over the top of your underwear and take your hands away...

8/23/2010 11:30:49 AM

If I'm dicking around with the elastic and aiming my dick then the process has officially become more complicated than the fly method.

8/23/2010 11:32:45 AM

tl said:

Quote :

"My undies don't have a fly."

tl wears panties.

8/23/2010 11:33:50 AM

Quote :

"Problem with over-the-top is that the elastic interferes with proper flow."

8/23/2010 11:35:01 AM

Reading duke's dialog just made me fucking depressed.

8/23/2010 11:35:26 AM

I think pilots should just have a catheter and a leg bag

8/23/2010 11:35:52 AM

....if he wore panties, he'd pull them to the side and not go over the top.

8/23/2010 11:36:19 AM

I'm AstralAdvent and I approved this message.

8/23/2010 11:39:42 AM

Haha, I've known a few infantry strikers that would describe being in MOPP-IV gear, and just pissing down their leg and into their boots.

God bless you for protecting this lovely country and my freedom.... you nasty fuck.

8/23/2010 11:41:20 AM

I figure in the Air Force, pilots are trained to go to the bathroom before they leave.

8/23/2010 11:41:49 AM

Quote :

"Reading duke's dialog just made me fucking depressed."

isn't that technically a monologue?

8/23/2010 11:43:20 AM

Indeed.



Also, frosh.... some of the flight missions can be looooong

8/23/2010 11:45:39 AM

Quote :

"Problem with over-the-top is that the elastic interferes with proper flow."

balls out solves this

8/23/2010 11:49:59 AM

not completely, unless it's cold

8/23/2010 11:51:00 AM

Quote :

"balls out solves this"

Precisely correct.

8/23/2010 12:12:23 PM

just be careful when you are pulling the elastic down, do it too vigorously and it can it slip outta your fingers and snap you in the nuts

8/23/2010 12:25:14 PM

This thread has made me laugh on more than one occasion... and for that, I am grateful.

Also,

Quote :

"balls out solves this"

[Edited on August 23, 2010 at 12:35 PM. Reason : dur]

8/23/2010 12:35:30 PM

Quote :

"just be careful when you are pulling the elastic down, do it too vigorously and it can it slip outta your fingers and snap you in the nuts"

Well said...I agree. I have done this.

What about if you are pissing hands off, and the elastic snaps back over your balls and onto your shaft in midstream...so you end up pissing on yourself, the seat, etc...

8/23/2010 1:03:46 PM

Quote :

" I've known a few infantry strikers that would describe being in MOPP-IV gear, and just pissing down their leg and into their boots."

haha, MOPP-IV sucks. Fortunately I've never had to be in it anywhere near long enough for that to be an issue.

Quote :

"pilots are trained to go to the bathroom before they leave."

yeah, you do, but if you do enough 7, 8, 10 hour flights, sometimes you will have to piss in the jet. Fortunately, it's not too bad unless you have the drysuit on (although those are almost always long flights, because you're going across the ocean and flying near max range airspeed, so you will likely have to piss).

I think the worst, though, was one time when I got airsick and hurled into a plastic airsickness bag. I tied it off and put it in my g-suit pocket. That worked fine until we pulled a bunch of g in the break, coming in to land...the g-suit inflated and popped my airsickness back. Nasty. Could be worse, though...I've seen a couple of guys either not have a bag or not be able to get it out in time (and one guy, back when we first started, who couldn't unhook his oxygen mask from his face quickly enough...hahahahahaha)

8/23/2010 1:07:43 PM

Quote :

"tl wears panties."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gmHf_1kqJc0

No fly zone?! sound bite  Curb Your Enthusiasm sound bites

8/24/2010 3:14:31 PM

much easier with say, Polo boxers, than Louis Vuitton boxers

cause the fly on Polo boxers is like twice as tall

8/24/2010 3:16:13 PM

[Edited on August 24, 2010 at 3:18 PM. Reason : -]

8/24/2010 3:17:29 PM