There's this piano player at a really nice resturaunt. He walks out in a nice tuxedo with tails, sits down and plays the most beautiful piece of classical music anyone in the restaurant has ever heard. For a brief few moments, everyone in the restaurant stops talking to hear the beautiful music.
When he's done, the crowd applauds loudly and he says over the microphone, "Thank you.. Thank you.. That was an original of mine entitled: 'I Fuck Your Mother Nightly With My Massive Horsedick While Your Whore of a Sister Watches'".
The crowd looks around confused and appalled at what they just heard. The manager of the restaurant stares around in disbelief.
The pianist then begins a second piece. This time it's a jazz number - along the lines of Art Tatum. And, again, it's amazing. The crowd is, again, amazed by the virtuostic pianist. When he is finished he, again, approaches the mic and says: "That was another original of mine entitled: 'Serving Shit Sandwiches to Your Ugly Grandmother's Cunt in the Back of my Pinto."
Once again there is a mumur amongst the crowd and they are simply appauled.
The pianist then takes a break and is approached by the manager of the restaurant who tells him, "Listen man.. You're amazing out there but.. well.. lay off talking to the crowd, eh? No more using the microphone.". The pianist agrees and wonders off into the men's room.
He comes out and is walking past a few tables as he approaches the piano. "Excuse me..", a woman asks him noting his zipper is open, "But do you know your dick is hanging out of your pants?".
"Do I know it?", the pianist replies, "I wrote it!"
submitted by Opstand on Saturday, February 16 at 10:00 AM