Yeah its another pathetic relationship thread, but whatever. I'm in a quandry over this.

Say you date a girl for about 3 weeks, and things are going great. She always seems excited to be around you, sometimes even nervous. She plans to come to your Christmas party in two weeks. After going to her apt one night you leave around 1:45am with plans to do something again in 3 days. You don't talk to her the two days in the meantime, then receive a txt message the day of your date, from her, stating for various reasons that Friday would be better to go out. You reply thats fine. Then you call her Friday night, no answer. You try again an hour later, no answer and leave a message.

And here you are 3 days later. You haven't tried to reach her again (yet) and she hasn't gotten back to you.

I'm thinking either a) she's in the hospital and something happened b) she lost her cell phone and isn't sure how to get in touch with me or c) for some odd reason she's picking a horrible way to blow me off ( )

any suggestions/advice?

[Edited on December 5, 2005 at 1:34 PM. Reason : blah]

12/5/2005 1:33:32 PM

if its A you your better off finding out so that you can be there.... If its B then try aim or contacting through a friend... if its C then your just fucken with your self, so in summary your better of calling and find out, cause only in the end this only ends up sucking for you, barring hospital stay. 3 days is more than enough....

12/5/2005 1:37:40 PM

Just tell NyM410 how you really feel

12/5/2005 1:38:51 PM

Drive over to the bitch's apartment and make her dump you in person

12/5/2005 1:39:43 PM

thanks for the advice. As far as trying to reach her via something other than a phone...she told me she looked up my facebook profile through her sister's account (she doesn't have one). So she could get my phone # or email info from that website (if she's witty enough to remember that). That being said, I did send her sister a message on facebook asking if things are okay with her sister, since I hadn't heard from her.

I met her sister the night of our first date. Thats the only person I kinda know that links us.

^ShawnaC123, if it comes to that I will. She lives 14 stops down the same subway line. And I know she's always home on tuesdays for her favorite tv show

[Edited on December 5, 2005 at 1:40 PM. Reason : k]

12/5/2005 1:39:55 PM

do you know any of her friends? try talking to one of them to see if she's ok...it'd be a start

nm...you beat me to it

[Edited on December 5, 2005 at 1:40 PM. Reason : ]

12/5/2005 1:40:01 PM

Gilmore Girls?


Nip/Tuck?

12/5/2005 1:41:40 PM

i played beer pong with her roommate (a guy) and another guy friend of hers. And I met her sister at her apt once. But I have no way (except mentioned) of reaching them.

Gilmore Girls. (nip/tuck would be one of my favorites though)

[Edited on December 5, 2005 at 1:42 PM. Reason : k]

12/5/2005 1:41:42 PM

Smart girl. That's my favorite too.

12/5/2005 1:42:37 PM

I was thinking of sending over flowers tomorrow with a note to please call and then call her after GG if she didn't call me up.

12/5/2005 1:44:23 PM

Kendall told me not to trust girls named Jordan.

12/5/2005 1:44:23 PM

I would try to txt message her again but after that just leave it alone. Maybe she will come to your party.

Although it may make you feel better to think that something unusual may have happened, such as a lost cell phone or hospital thing, usually this isn't the case. She may have met someone the day after your date, maybe an ex-boyfriend called to reconnect, or as is often the case, you may have misread her body language during a recent date.

You need to let this go and not obsess over it no matter how "awesome" this girl may be. She saw that you called and didn't call back. For 3 days.

You need to set a date on which you will never think about this girl again. I would suggest the day of your Christmas Party. Call her again the week before the party (make no other calls to her) to make sure she knows the invitation is still good. If she doesn't show, delete her from your phone.

12/5/2005 1:45:08 PM

Hmm, well the party is this Saturday. I didn't call for 3 days b/c I didn't want to be bothering her if something happened (death in the family, etc.) ya know?

So should I call her tonight?

[Edited on December 5, 2005 at 1:50 PM. Reason : don't want to call too much]

12/5/2005 1:46:44 PM

Well this is The Lounge so I shouldn't

You should probably go have a meet and greet with

12/5/2005 1:54:13 PM

12/5/2005 1:54:51 PM

i'd just go over to her apt and knock on her door. just say that you were afraid that something had happened to her so you wanted to check. then ask her what is going on. if she says she has found someone else, call her a bitch and tell her how that is a wimpy way to break up with someone. i mean you are in NY right? it isn't like she is going to be able to spread gossip about you all around town.

12/5/2005 1:57:35 PM

yes I'm in NYC. I guess I'll go over to her apt tomorrow night when I'm pretty sure she'll be there. She works in Times Square and Warren, NJ depending on the day.


grrr

okay I can't post on the internet after 2pm so if there's any more advice to be given to me people please post it and I"ll see it later

[Edited on December 5, 2005 at 1:59 PM. Reason : thanks again]

12/5/2005 1:58:47 PM

Quote :

"i'd just go over to her apt and knock on her door. just say that you were afraid that something had happened to her so you wanted to check. then ask her what is going on. if she says she has found someone else, call her a bitch and tell her how that is a wimpy way to break up with someone. i mean you are in NY right? it isn't like she is going to be able to spread gossip about you all around town."

good stuff right there

12/5/2005 2:19:47 PM

Most likely she has got another man. If a girl acts this way, its likely that she has found someone else or already had someone else.

12/5/2005 2:24:05 PM

dont send flowers. if she hasnt gotten in touch with you after making plans for friday then she isnt worth the time you've been spending worrying about it

The term "nice guy" would apply here... dont do anything, she isnt being a "nice girl".

12/5/2005 3:21:38 PM

flowers is dumb and you'd feel like a fool if she still never called you after that. plus flowers would be kind of creepy......if i was the girl and some guy i was avoiding sent me flowers, i'd laugh my ass off and still not call him

Quote :

"Drive over to the bitch's apartment and make her dump you in person"

i like shawna's idea the best

sorry to hear about this dude i remember you telling me about her

12/5/2005 8:00:52 PM

you may be overthinking this. 3 weeks it's not that serious to contemplate. of the things it could be she may have not totally broken free from a previous engagement (i.e, ex-boyfriend, family, friends) . . . i wouldn't stress it. if she wanted to blow you off you would have gotten the sign alot sooner.

12/5/2005 8:04:11 PM

^^true, but unless I explained everything you wouldn't entirely get my point of view about it.

I'm headed over there right now. I'll report back to TWW with all the details when I'm back! (which will probably be after going alone to a bar )

[Edited on December 5, 2005 at 8:13 PM. Reason : k]

12/5/2005 8:11:58 PM

You're gonna bust in on some dude on top of her in mid-thrust.

Resist the urge to do something that could get you sent to prison.

12/5/2005 8:16:53 PM

lol, no i doubt that'll happen. Especially since she has to buzz me in

Okay I'm OUT!

12/5/2005 8:19:10 PM

Well that was interesting. I just spent 1 1/2 hrs watching MNF with her roommate. I didn't see her b/c she was still at work, and then going to help a friend in need (or some shit). I don't think I screwed the pooch with this move, might have even helped a little. However I'm thinking the situation might be lost, based on the info her roommate told me, despite him saying it was nothing and I shouldn't worry.

sheesh.

12/5/2005 11:32:21 PM

Clearly, you've done all you can do. It seems she's ok and she knows that you've tried to contact her. Unfortunately, although it sucks to sit back and wait, the ball is in her court now. It can be really difficult to read people after three weeks. Sometimes things start off well and then one or the other person involved just changes their mind. And, also unfortunately, sometimes people are cowards. Most people would rather just avoid a situation than try to deal with it. Like I said, it's probably best now for you to let her get back up with you if she wants to. Good luck.

12/6/2005 12:10:48 AM

you worry too much about a girl you have only dated for 3 weeks

12/6/2005 12:13:18 AM

Quote :

"despite him saying it was nothing and I shouldn't worry."

hmmm..anybody else catch that?

12/6/2005 12:24:18 AM

DON'T SEND FLOWERS

Take it from me man, don't come off like that. Like they said above, it's in her court now. Sending flowers will be like you're giving up control in this situation. If that makes any sense.

If that doesn't make sense then just don't send flowers. Go smoke some leaves.

12/6/2005 3:56:28 AM

pat you're coming off a bit creepyish in this thread

flowers, hanging with her roommate while waiting for her, errrrrr

12/6/2005 7:32:41 AM

Yea I'm pretty sure my third rail suggestion is the way to go now. Sorry.

12/6/2005 8:55:42 AM

sounds like its time to cut your losses
go on and don't worry about it, there isn't much you can do now
and for what you could do, you have to ask yourself if it is even worth it at this point

be happy you found out that she was shady 3 weeks into it rather than 3 months or 3 years

12/6/2005 9:01:40 AM

maybe pat if you spent less time on TWW

17461 Posts

and more time working on your game you'd have better results

12/6/2005 9:41:19 AM

dude, she's blowing you off. send flowers and you look like a huge tool. take whatever dignity you still have left and find some other chick.

12/6/2005 9:45:46 AM

Quote :

" I didn't see her b/c she was still at work, and then going to help a friend in need (or some shit)."

Does anybody else have the picture in their head of roomate jumping up as soon as this guy leaves so he can call the girl and say "ok, he's finally gone. You can come back home now."

12/6/2005 9:49:15 AM

shes probably dead

12/6/2005 9:51:27 AM

haha... seriously, unless you already started sleeping with her then give it up. and if you have slept with her, which is the reasoning behind:

Quote :

"but unless I explained everything you wouldn't entirely get my point of view about it. "

then she probably wasn't into it and doesn't know how to nicely tell you that. Reasons such as this thread is why I don't go looking for guys if they blow me off... makes ya look creepy/stalkerish type. just let things be.

12/6/2005 11:45:52 AM

ok here is the thing, the last time you were with her, you know....the night you left at 1:45 am or something like that.......what did you guys do that night?

12/6/2005 12:25:02 PM

you should bang her roomate

12/6/2005 12:34:18 PM

Quote :

"her roommate told me, despite him saying"

12/6/2005 12:56:31 PM

^^^use your imagination.

Well yeah I hung around the apt for a little while. It took me 45 minutes to get there, I wasn't just gonna up and leave until I knew something.

And no the roommate didn't make that stuff up. He was talking the whole time to her right in front of me.

Anyway, the roommate said that if she didn't call me last night after I left (which she didn't) that I should call today. I asked him if he thought that was a bit much and he said no just do it.

12/6/2005 1:18:25 PM

don't call the bitch


she has had ample time to contact you if she wanted to

12/6/2005 1:22:32 PM

yeah after conferring with others I agree.

12/6/2005 1:25:55 PM

rejection must hurt

12/6/2005 1:33:06 PM

yeah you'd think after a million times i'd be used to it. apparently not.

12/6/2005 1:33:50 PM

Quote :

"I didn't see her b/c she was still at work, and then going to help a friend in need (or some shit). "

We all have needs, hopefully it's not what I am thinking. After a week of no return phone calls and she is still breathing it's time to let this one go. Call up the guys and go find something else. It will be a lot more fun then sitting there and maybe if she comes around she will realize that this kind of behavior is not acceptable.

12/6/2005 1:46:44 PM

yeah I've done that. $70 damage at the bar the other day, finished off the night by puking out the window of my cab

12/6/2005 1:49:43 PM

sounds good, hopefully your next topic will be about choosing between the new girl and the old one, both of which find themselves competitive.

12/6/2005 1:51:54 PM

hmmm....well I'm going to a lot of holiday parties in the next 2 weeks, perhaps we'll have some luck there

12/6/2005 1:59:02 PM