ldywhoknows All American 1385 Posts user info edit post |
Sorry if it's old... I thought it was funny...
The following is supposedly an actual BONUS question given on a university chemistry exam. The answer by one student was so profound that the professor shared it with colleagues via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state: that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.
Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Joani during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct ... leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Joani kept shouting "Oh my God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A" 12/5/2005 5:05:33 PM |
Joie begonias is my boo 22491 Posts user info edit post |
i've read this before except...
Quote : | "and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct ... leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Joani kept shouting "Oh my God." " |
the one i read went something aolng the lines that since it (sleeping with said chick) didn't happen hell is not exothermic and will combust
[Edited on December 5, 2005 at 5:09 PM. Reason : fvdbxf]12/5/2005 5:07:42 PM |
Shaggy All American 17820 Posts user info edit post |
i think this was like the second thing that was ever on the internet 12/5/2005 5:19:01 PM |
StingrayRush All American 14628 Posts user info edit post |
its new to me. funny shit 12/5/2005 5:23:13 PM |
Nerdchick All American 37009 Posts user info edit post |
new to you?
I don't see how this could be new to anyone
I got this email in like 1998
It was probably first written using Babbage's Analytical Engine 12/5/2005 5:25:03 PM |
State409c Suspended 19558 Posts user info edit post |
Heaven forbid someone spend enough time away from the internet to not see this forward. 12/5/2005 5:30:14 PM |
ambrosia1231 eeeeeeeeeevil 76471 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | "Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? " |
boy, talk about a stressful exam.12/5/2005 5:31:38 PM |
jackleg All American 170957 Posts user info edit post |
http://www.snopes.com/college/exam/hell.asp
[Collected on the Internet, 1997] 12/5/2005 5:32:41 PM |
Lewizzle All American 14393 Posts user info edit post |
I saw this in like the mid 90's. I'm not exaggerating. 12/5/2005 5:35:41 PM |
jackleg All American 170957 Posts user info edit post |
hahhaa
HAPPY 10TH BIRTHDAY, STUPID EMAIL 12/5/2005 5:46:17 PM |
drtaylor All American 1969 Posts user info edit post |
1997 12/5/2005 5:51:59 PM |
DirtyGreek All American 29309 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | "It was probably first written using Babbage's Analytical Engine" |
fucking classic12/5/2005 6:07:54 PM |
TKE-Teg All American 43409 Posts user info edit post |
apparently you're NOT the ldywhoknows 12/5/2005 6:10:39 PM |
natchela Veteran 407 Posts user info edit post |
first time I've seen it. Thanks for posting that. 12/5/2005 6:15:22 PM |
abonorio All American 9344 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | "i think this was like the second thing that was ever on the internet" |
WE HAVE A FUCKING WINNER! FUNNY AS SHIT!
[/END THREAD YOU LOSE Shaggy WINS]12/5/2005 6:19:58 PM |
StingrayRush All American 14628 Posts user info edit post |
yall are some elitist assholes. i knew this already, but it needed to be stated again 12/5/2005 6:39:34 PM |
LiusClues New Recruit 13824 Posts user info edit post |
elitists...maybe.
it's still old. good, but old. 12/5/2005 6:44:30 PM |
niteman Veteran 374 Posts user info edit post |
http://www.mit.edu/~jcb/humor/
felt like droping this one in 12/5/2005 6:46:41 PM |
okydoky All American 5516 Posts user info edit post |
there is this other one about an english inclass assignment 12/5/2005 6:55:19 PM |
pablo_price All American 5628 Posts user info edit post |
it's new to me, but I actively avoid anything resembling an email forward/"true" anecdotes 12/5/2005 7:19:53 PM |
tartsquid All American 16389 Posts user info edit post |
http://www.mit.edu/~jcb/humor/1980s-kids
WTF, I was born in 1985 and over half of those don't apply. 12/5/2005 9:30:04 PM |
jackleg All American 170957 Posts user info edit post |
yeah i was born in 78 and thats pretty much bullshit 12/5/2005 9:37:21 PM |
jahosephat All American 3130 Posts user info edit post |
[old] 12/5/2005 9:57:12 PM |
niteman Veteran 374 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | "WTF, I was born in 1985 and over half of those don't apply." |
why dont you let grown ups handle this you little shit.12/5/2005 11:26:24 PM |
niteman Veteran 374 Posts user info edit post |
alt.humor owns your dad's ass 12/5/2005 11:27:29 PM |
arraeuber All American 765 Posts user info edit post |
i thought it was cute... i never got the e-mail either... nice break from the math hw 12/5/2005 11:34:52 PM |
darkmage Veteran 496 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | ""It was probably first written using Babbage's Analytical Engine"" |
/thread.12/5/2005 11:53:37 PM |