JayMCnasty
All American
14180 Posts
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Wayfron P. Jackson: 6' 6", 215 lbs. Wide Receiver. Hottest prospect
from Texas in the last ten years. Loves rap music. Will demand a
mini cassette in his helmet. Currently holds world record for the
most "you knows " during an interview (62 in one minute). Wayfron
can print his complete name.
Cletis Quinticious Jenkins: 6' 3", 220 lbs..Running Back. Set state
scoring record out of Triton High School, Dunn, N.C. Also led the
state in burglaries, but has only 9 convictions. He has been clocked
at 4.2 seconds in the 40 yard dash with a 19" TV under each arm.
Roosevelt "Dude" Dansell! : 6' 1", 195 lbs. Running Back. From
Tyler, Texas. Has processed hair and imitates Billy Dee Williams
very well. Before he signed his letter of intent, he wanted the
school to change colors to chartreuse and pink. Listed his church
preference as "red brick."
Woodrow Lee Washington: 6' 8", 310 lbs. Tackle. From a 4th
generation welfare family. At 19 he's the oldest of 21 children.
Mother claims Woodrow and child number 9 have same father. He has a
manslaughter trial pending but feels he will be found innocent
because: "The dude said something bad 'bout my Momma." On his
entrance form, he listed his I.Q. as 20-20.
Willie "Night Train" Smith: 6'4", 225 lbs. Quarterback. Born on an
Amtrak train. Birth certificate indicates he is 27 years old. Thinks
the "N" on Nebraska's helmets stands for "Nowledge," but still met
NC State's school's stringent entrance requirements. Insists on wearing
number 32 jersey since it matches his score on his College Entrance
Exam.
Tyrone "Python" Peoples: 6'10", 228 lbs. Wide Receiver. Has a
pending paternity suit and two rape trials, but hopes none of his
other 9 victims will file charges. Tyrone had already signed letters
of intent with six other colleges but was also willing to sign with
us. Likes wild women and red Cadillacs. Thinks Taco Bell is the
Mexican Telephone Company!
Abdul Hasheen Abba Ali: 6'10", 305 lbs. Guard. Played high school
ball under the name Sylvester LeRoy Jones until he discovered
religion. Abdul thinks Sherlock Holmes is a housing project in
Raleigh. Doesn't know the meaning of the word "fear." (Doesn't
know the meaning of many other words, either.)
Note: Several of the above signees will also compete in track.
However, instead of using a starting gun at track meets, it has now
been agreed to use a burglar alarm....this, it is hoped will keep
the runners alert.  5/18/2006 8:12:09 PM
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