PrufrockNCSU
All American
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So here's my first attempt at a blog. What better to be the subject than my lovely catchphrase 'May integrity & happiness forever be your guides'. Sure it might sound pretty or thoughtful, or maybe like it came out of a fortune cookie, but what does it mean? It's something I put together in 2002 after a difficult time in my life. To share why this phrase has meaning to me, I'll break it down.
'May integrity forever be your guide'. Integrity can mean something different to everyone. Suicide bombers believe they are acting with integrity when they kill themselves and others, so obviously this can be a widely interpreted word. To me, there are many things that the word integrity represents. Honesty and self respect are key ingredients, but it is more than just these two things. First, let me discuss both honesty and self-respect.
Honesty means not lying to people of course, but it also means not misleading or deceiving people as well. Most people can recognize a dishonest action, so making a decision to not act dishonestly is important for many reasons. First is the value of your word. The better known you are to speak the truth, the more weight your word carries. Honesty is also crucial for developing and maintaining relationships in your life, and no healthy person wants to alone all the time. Lastly, honesty is just one part of maintaining a healthy level of self respect.
Self-respect to me is acting and living in a way I feel is respectable. For example, I'm not dishonest with people, and I try not to hurt people because I don't believe these actions to be respectable, and couldn't respect myself as much as I do if I were to engage in these actions. Self-respect has it's benefits as well. Maintaining a high level of self-respect makes it easier for me to not let people do things to devalue me, take advantage of me or otherwise affect me in a negative way. When someone does try one of these things, I realize that they are not worth my time, and move on with my life. There is no need to be vindictive here as I am able to bolster my self-respect by chosing to be mature and not act in a way that I could not respect later on. That being said I am only human and prone to err and lose my cool on occasion. When I do I must decide what of my actions were warranted, and what of my actions do I feel were not respectable. This learning process helps me to become a better person, and maintain and build my self-respect. Now that we have those out of the way, let's talk more about integrity.
Integrity also involves acting in a way that benefits all people involved the most, and all people certainly includes myself. To act only in the favor of yourself is selfishness, and to act only in the favor of others is not self-respecting, so a middle ground that is best for all must be found. I am reminded of a favorite phrase here, 'A moment of forethought is worth a lifetime of regret.' Too many people fail to stop and consider the consequences and ramifications of their actions. To act with integrity you must stop and consider how your actions will affect others and proceed with the option which most benefits all involved. By chosing this course of action, I am rewarded with the benefits of self-respect and freedom from guilt or regret, even if my decision is a poor one. When I know that I've acted in the best way I could think of for all involved, I have nothing to be ashamed of. Again, here I must learn from the consequences of my decision in order to make better decisions in the future. The rewards of living with integrity and maintaining a high level of self-respect include having less stress, guilt, and regret in my life, which makes me a happier person and brings me to the second part of my little phrase.
'May happiness forever be your guide.' (but not before integrity) The pursuit of happiness is the 'unalienable right' in our Declaration of Independence, and nothing to be undervalued. We are given only one life to live, and once it's over, it's over. You have a finite ammount of time to enjoy your life in this world whether you've accepted this fact or not. This being said, (if not accepted) getting the most happiness out of life should be priority number two. Get out there and take healthy risks, as often there is no reward without risk. Do not deny yourself happiness from fear, or lack of confidence, as this will hinder your development and enjoyment of life and makes you susceptible to regret which can damage your self-respect. I hope for everyone to find happiness, but not at the expense of others or themselves. This is why integrity comes before happiness. The person who finds happiness in insulting or putting down others is simply failing to be honest with themself, as attacking another cannot build self-respect. The same goes for people who enjoy playing emotional games with others. Their abuse of another's emotions cannot honestly be rewarding when it is selfish and not respectable and diminishes one's own self-respect. If one is honest with themself, I believe they will find pursuits such as these to be self-defeating and unrewarding. Happiness isn't just doing things that make you happy, it is also avoiding the things that you can which make you unhappy. When I find myself in a situation which makes me unhappy, I figure out what I can do to return myself to a state of happiness. If this means separate myself from the situation entirely, so be it. One must be as responsible for their happiness as they are acting with integrity. If you are not happy or at least content with how things are in your life, you must be responsible for changing these things. As long as one acts with integrity, I believe they deserve the highest level of happiness possible.
I guess that's about it. I hope that this sheds some light on who I am and what it is that I'm about. Please leave me some feedback on anything I should clarify or go into detail about, or what you disagree with. Thank you for taking the time to read all of this.  7/18/2006 10:29:41 AM
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