When I was 18 I did a stint with the local paramedics.

Last night I got drunk and told a girl my big EMT story. She was the second person that I had ever told about it.

And all day today I've had this 19 year old hispanic girl screaming in my head. I can still see the scared look in her eyes (with blood pouring down her face).

I sat around all day with a knot in my stomach. Around 1 I decided that I couldn't go to sleep unless I had a few drinks in me.

I am not the type to bitch about my personal problems, but this image has haunted me for 6 years. So what am I supposed to do?

9/5/2006 3:16:24 AM

drink more.

seriously though, i'm no psychoanalyst, but considering the amount this bothers you vs. the amount you say you talk about it, you make want to try and talk about it more.

i'm not big on talk therapy (didn't do much for me), and i've never personally been with someone in such a terrible situation, but i've found the more you talk with people about things that bother you, the more it becomes something that is shared, not something that only floats around in your head.

hell, it might be cathartic for you to relate your experience on here and read the various and often fucked up perspectives that TWWers have on your experience. i know i'm curious.

9/5/2006 3:33:28 AM

watch bugs bunny cartoons

9/5/2006 3:35:06 AM

[Edited on September 5, 2006 at 4:02 AM. Reason : .]

9/5/2006 3:50:24 AM

if blood bothers you, maybe you shouldnt have been an EMT. i sugest you start giving less shit about other people.

ive heard more traumatizing stories in my EMT classes. quit your job or think about something else. if you cant take it, youre not cut out for it. there are tons of other jobs.





[Edited on September 5, 2006 at 3:57 AM. Reason : sdfgsd]

9/5/2006 3:53:55 AM

[Edited on September 5, 2006 at 4:02 AM. Reason : .]

9/5/2006 3:58:24 AM

then youre too compasionate, thus a bad EMT.

9/5/2006 3:59:50 AM

jesus man. i could never be an EMT. props to you for at least giving it a go. or maybe you're still doing it, but somewhere a bit more subdued, i don't know.

that sounds like a really fucking terrible accident.

try looking at it like this. working in medicine is the most noble profession there is. people do things, sometimes those things get them hurt, and you were there to try and help them. you were there to help. as far as you're concerned, that's what matters. you did what most good people wish they could.

be proud.

[Edited on September 5, 2006 at 4:30 AM. Reason : .]

9/5/2006 4:08:24 AM

check your inbox incogneto.

9/5/2006 4:39:32 AM

therapy

9/5/2006 9:49:59 AM

therapy, G. does NCSU have one for students?

9/5/2006 10:08:20 AM

The counselors at the clinic on campus are great. Go talk to them.

9/5/2006 10:09:07 AM

jump off of DH Hill

9/5/2006 10:57:26 AM

Assuming you did nothing wrong, why are you haunted? Serious injuries are to be expected by paramedics and all you can do is help to the best of your ability.

It sounds like things got too personal. You should try to have a mindset of professional detachment.

9/5/2006 12:35:48 PM

umm I was a volunteer firefighter for a while


seen crazy shit, but never had this problem


haha you sound like uder

9/5/2006 12:39:33 PM

i ran ems for 5 years and saw some sick shit
never bothered me at all

9/5/2006 6:54:38 PM

i think you should ask yourself

what would Rambo do?

9/5/2006 6:58:42 PM

suck it up

9/5/2006 6:59:36 PM

Thank you for your service, incogneto. My dad was a volunteer EMT-I Defib for 3-4 years back home and it has haunted him as well. Now that I am older and have been on several scenes with him, he will sometimes talk about those nights and I think it's done alot to take the weight off his mind. I agree that sometimes it's just extremely painful to talk about the scenes you've been on, especially the worst ones, but it has to be done to let the pain out and to let yourself be reassured that you did what you could to help someone in need.

Quote :

"Assuming you did nothing wrong, why are you haunted? Serious injuries are to be expected by paramedics and all you can do is help to the best of your ability. It sounds like things got too personal. You should try to have a mindset of professional detachment."

It haunts for the experience is so traumatic that it will always be in one's memory, the best we can do is find a way to keep it from weighing as heavily and to be reassured that we did the right thing by being there to help others in need.

It's not called getting too personal, it's called being human. Despite how detached one might be during a call, the adrenaline wears off on the trip back to the station and the questions start coming in, and you begin to second-guess every decision you and your team made on the call. The hardest ones to cope with are when there are fatalities, whether the person had a chance when you arrived on the scene or not, you always replay it in your mind and wonder if there is something else you could have done.

Shivan Bird, when you roll your first DOA out to the truck on a stretcher, or work your first I-40 wreck, you will just begin to understand the feelings that come after the call is finished. I have not had anywhere close to the amount of experience my father has, but I have seen the way it has been on his mind, and what he goes through every time he thinks of those late-night calls.

9/6/2006 12:52:08 AM

You should probably tell more than two people. Talking about it does help alot. They will understand and you'll release that burden from your chest. You don't have to hide it like some big secret. It's ok to be vulnerable and share your weakness with those close to you.

9/6/2006 1:16:50 AM

Quote :

"Shivan Bird, when you roll your first DOA out to the truck on a stretcher, or work your first I-40 wreck, you will just begin to understand the feelings that come after the call is finished."

Fair enough. Still, I maintain that he should not be affected to the point of being haunted for years.

9/6/2006 1:08:17 PM