Long story short, we are living with my aunt for a little while and her grandson (who we shall call Bryan) is visiting until Wednesday. I know 13 year olds tend to be obnoxious know-it-alls, but Bryan literally is the rudest, most disrespectful kid I know. Here are a few facts about Bryan:

-He stays up until 3am and sleeps until 1pm on the couch so that no one can occupy the living room until he wakes up.

-He blares the television at all hours of the night.

-He watches annoying Japanese cartoons all day and all night so that no one else can watch television. If you turn them, he turns them back.

-We threw him a birthday party a few weeks ago and my aunt gave him a PSP, bought all decorations/food, and bought him a $50 ice cream cake. What does he do? He doesn't once say thank you and cuts a quarter of the ice cream cake for himself and uses it to give himself an ice cream goatee. He doesn't eat it.

-He eats all of our food/drinks all of our drinks. He never asks.

I know that these are all petty little things right now, but Bryan is obviously headed down the wrong path because his mom/grandma NEVER discipline him. They just say he is "being 13." I really am worried because his grandmother treated his mom the same way and she ended up being on all sorts of drugs, doing whatever she wanted at all times, and turning into a crackhead for 10 years. She has straightened her life out, but now she is parenting the same way that her mom did. I don't want to seem like I am butting my nose where it doesn't belong, but I have considered talking to his mom. I don't want to piss anybody off because I think that would do more harm than good, but I am really concerned.

Any advice?

8/20/2007 1:37:55 PM

It's called confrontation and teaching that actions have consequences. Don't be afraid.

8/20/2007 1:40:21 PM

I'm not afraid...I just don't really know how to bring it up without seeming like an asshole...if I come across like that, his mom definitely wont listen.

8/20/2007 1:42:24 PM

Shouldn't he be starting school up again shortly?

Anyways, wake his lazy ass up earlier than 1pm. Just because he's sleeping in there that doesn't mean that you shouldn't be able to occupy the living room at a reasonable time. I remember when I was in my teens I would stay up all night and sleep all day in the summers but I kept to myself and didn't bug anyone.

As for the TV thing, take all of the remotes and keep them in your room after a certain time. Odds are that if he starts waking up earlier he'll go to sleep earlier too.

Invite his friends over then embaress the fuck out of him.

8/20/2007 1:43:00 PM

Beat the shit out of him.

Oh, and telling him 'no' helps some too I'd imagine.

8/20/2007 1:43:20 PM

tell him to stop watching fucking anime

8/20/2007 1:45:55 PM

Take the cable cord with you to bed.

Push him off the couch.

Have some sort of consequences ready for certain actions you dislike.

Punch him when he tries to change the channel back.

Block the channel he watches with all the stupid anime.

Ridicule rarely works with teens, but it is fun for you, so give it a go.

8/20/2007 2:15:02 PM

are you really 21?

if you're concerned, just interact with him on his level, you practically are already (not giving you shit, just saying the age difference isn't that great)

tell him he's an asshole and ask him what the fuck his problem is

if you're stronger than him (which you probably are) and he gives you lip, clock him one

you'll teach him a valuable lesson

8/20/2007 2:18:55 PM

Quote :

"I'm not afraid...I just don't really know how to bring it up without seeming like an asshole...if I come across like that, his mom definitely wont listen."

TELLING A PARENT THEY ARE NOT DOING A GOOD JOB IS A VERY DANGEROUS THING...PARENT'S DON'T LIKE TO HEAR IT FROM ANYONE...ESPECIALLY IF THEY DON'T HAVE KIDS THEMSELVES....I WOULD JUST TAKE MATTERS INTO YOUR OWN HANDS WHEN DEALING WITH HIM DIRECTLY....

8/20/2007 2:23:34 PM

my 15 year old sister is the same way. My mom has started doing these things and it's worked wonders on her:

take away power cords/batteries
put on parental lock on the TV
vacuum the living room at 10am
take away the PSP (or hide it since you don't really have the authority to take it)
change the passwords on the computers

I think hitting the kid would only get you in to trouble, but being passive-aggressive is just as good (or better in some cases)

8/20/2007 2:30:59 PM

Call this man

8/20/2007 2:41:53 PM

Super Soaker

8/20/2007 3:00:24 PM

Does he have his own room? If so, I wouldn't keep quiet in the living room just because he's a slug.

8/20/2007 3:12:54 PM

maybe instead of confronting the grandmother/mother, you could become kind of like a "big brother" to the kid. it sounds like he's seeking attention, not discipline and its amazing what some positive attention can do for a kid. take him to a baseball game, play soccer at a park, take him to dinner at moes.....nothing crazy but just you and the kid. maybe he needs some "guy" time.

8/20/2007 3:19:02 PM

^^^^ awww, Look at Daddy's huge smile in that pic!

8/20/2007 3:25:03 PM

some of this thread's advice is hilarious

a few things to add:

- blare the TV yourself at 8 or 9 in the morning
- when he is sleeping carry him outside into the 100 degree heat
- wake him up early as hell on saturdays and sundays and make him help you do yard work. if he refuses, kick him in the head
- next time he even touches the remote control ask him if he paid for the television or if he pays the cable bill. tell him to shut the fuck up and know his role
- steal his PSP and sell it on eBay

8/20/2007 4:08:41 PM

Yeah, I'm 25. I parental blocked the cartoon channel and have been telling him when he's doing rude things today. I think it's made a pretty significant difference, but it's just gonna go back to the way it normally is when grandma gets home and then when he goes home on Wednesday. I just wish there was a way to make some permanent changes in him. Today he's been really cool to be around, so I know he has the potential to be a good kid.

8/20/2007 4:10:35 PM

if he's 13 he's probably pretty impressionable right now...if you can convince him that "its not cool" to do certain things maybe you can get him to change unknowingly for the better by his own choice

8/20/2007 4:12:31 PM

^i wasn't that stupid when i was 13

8/20/2007 4:31:46 PM

but i said "unknowingly"...so how would you know!

8/20/2007 4:32:55 PM

gg Gozo. i can't wait till i have an obnoxious teenager. i am going to relish showing him what's what.

[Edited on August 20, 2007 at 4:35 PM. Reason : it's the closest i can get to telling myself when i was 13 to not be a jerk]

8/20/2007 4:34:46 PM

I would wake him up with a cattle prod.

8/20/2007 4:44:42 PM

put his hand in a bucket of warm water while he sleeps. then take pictures of him after he pisses himself. blackmail.

8/20/2007 4:51:41 PM

There was an episode on South Park about this, and the key is to keep him in a calm submissive state.

8/20/2007 5:04:13 PM

Quote :

"vacuum the living room at 10am 7am "

I'd try to talk to him first and just tell him "hey you're a pain in the ass"
Or try telling him that girls don't like lazy rude assholes and he'll never get a girl if he acts like this.

shrug. I teach teenagers but I have authority over them. Most of my students will stop being a dick if i pull them aside and tell them their behavior won't be tolerated. But you'd be surprised how many parents could care less when I call/email home to tell them their child is disruptive and a "behavioral problem". It all comes down to parenting.
If you could get through to his mom/grandma/whoever that would be best in the long run.

8/20/2007 5:53:05 PM

Hire an 80 year old black woman for a nanny (preferably one who rocks and sings hymns while shelling butter beans)... she'll smack some damn sense into him.

8/20/2007 6:05:43 PM

Quote :

"if he's 13 he's probably pretty impressionable right now...if you can convince him that "its not cool" to do certain things maybe you can get him to change unknowingly for the better by his own choice"

Thats actually good advice. At 25, you're not really an "adult" in a 13 y/os eyes, so you might have a shot if you don't come across as a total douche.

Me? I can't help it, I'd douche it up, so I'd just go with actually acting like his mama should. At least he'll respect you personally, even if he doesn't like it.

8/20/2007 6:13:40 PM

He's not your kid. Let him turn into a crackhead, and it's only wednesday.

8/20/2007 6:41:12 PM

smother him with his naruto pillow while he sleeps

8/20/2007 7:43:43 PM

HE HAD TO WATCH THE HAUNDO. THAT SHIT WAS ON FROM 6:30am TILL 10pm ERR NIGHT DIZ WEEKEND.

8/20/2007 7:46:14 PM

Quote :

"It's called confrontation and teaching that actions have consequences. Don't be afraid."

thats pretty good advice but if you go up to a 13 yo and yell in their face, their just going to hate you and try to make your life hell

You just have to out smart him and make comments to pursuade his decision making process

If he doesnt ever learn he'll end up like most the other douche bags that populate this planet

Or you might want to try to bring the subject up with his parents, but you have to do it gently, since this is a delicate subject

But 13 year olds staying up all night and sleeping all day is what they do, but you should mention the whole disrespect issue

8/20/2007 7:49:28 PM

^^That shit started at 6:30? What the fuck, no wonder I missed out on so much when I woke up at 12.

Srsly.

8/20/2007 7:52:55 PM

smack him with a newspaper or thump him on the nose and say NO in a firm voice.

that'll do it.

8/20/2007 8:37:41 PM

Quote :

"I would wake him up with a cattle prod."

lol

8/20/2007 8:50:34 PM

does he have a father figure?

8/20/2007 9:16:47 PM

wake up folks. people can't be changed and are going to do whatever they want to do regardless of what you say or do to them. It has nothing to do with parenting. Just a legend/adult fairy tale. Great parents can have the worst kids and vice versa.

8/20/2007 9:33:25 PM

^ you are an idiot


sure there are exceptions

but for the most part kids who have good parents, turn out to be well rounded people

[Edited on August 20, 2007 at 9:53 PM. Reason : f]

8/20/2007 9:51:17 PM

not true at all. before we are born, we already have a personality. thats proven fact.

8/20/2007 10:05:26 PM

point being? i was a much different little kid than i am today.

8/20/2007 10:08:22 PM

Quote :

"not true at all. before we are born, we already have a personality. thats proven fact."

Wow.

8/20/2007 10:11:11 PM

^^not saying you weren't. People grow and learn and then change based on experiiences life but its all voluntarily. At 13 everybody knows whats right whats wrong whats acceptable and whats not, some can be made to pretend to be good but its going to come out as soon as they feel like they can and nobody really changes unless they decide to.

8/20/2007 10:25:38 PM

some ppl's advice revolved around persuading them via conversation or consequences. how else would they decide to change?

8/20/2007 10:33:00 PM

Tell the kid that if he doesn't straighten out, god will smite him.

Then show him some scary pictures of people with terrible diseases and tell him that'll happen to him.

And outside of breaking his head with traumatic images, you could just correct him when he does stupid stuff like that.

1. Nobody can occupy the living room until he wakes up? Tell him to get up, if he doesn't get up, push him off the couch (without knocking him into furniture or anything). When he wakes up and gets pissy, direct him to his bed and inform him that that is where he rests, and the living room is where you act sociable and interact with people.

2. Blares the television at all hours of the night... Yeah, just take the cable cord and remotes with you.

3. Annoying japanese cartoons? Take the remotes. Discipline him if he tries to get up and change it manually. That's not his TV or his cable box, he doesn't have a job or contribute anything. If you REALLY want to get some power on it, tell him to go cut the grass and, as his reward, he can watch TV. Make him do something useful and get some sunlight (this worked wonders on me when I was a little bastard, and before I got half-smitten).

4. The deal with being an attention whore and not saying thank you is easy to correct. "Bryan, thank your aunt for the gift." "No!" *take the gift back* "OK, you want to be a jerk? You don't get this back until you thank your aunt, AND you apologize to her and give her a hug. You don't like me treating you like this? Then thank your aunt and apologize." Don't let him get away with shit and it won't happen in the first place. And yeah, just do it yourself, then tell the parents that you disciplined him if they start wondering why he's acting so good all of the sudden.

5. Taking food w/o asking? Simple! Take the food back and put it away. If he goes for more, just push him back and tell him he can ask in the future, or that he can wait for dinner. Another fun alternative is to simply take away the drinks you normally consume and tell him that he is bankrupting you. Tell him you can only afford water until he agrees to have only ONE drink a day. Then you just make sure to mark the drinks he gets. Mind you: This is the shit you would do for a moronic, 7 year old kid who doesn't understand rationing and reducing the amount of junk they consume. If he eats more than that just take the drinks away again. Put them in your car or something. As for the food, stop eating junk food for a while. Take the chips, crackers, whatever and put them somewhere else. If you get food that he can eat immediately (e.g. doritos, wheat thins, pretzels, candy) he will eat all of it (speaking from experience here, I was a bit of a bastard, but nowhere near his level). Get food that can be combined to form a good snack, or that has to be cooked/opened/heated to be consumed. You won't find him with a can opener eating a can of beans, or taking the time to spread peanutbutter onto a saltine cracker to make a snack. If it's difficult, he'll whine about there being no food. At this point, you can throw an apple at him and say "It's sweet and it'll keep you busy for 20 minutes". Maybe you can get him to eat healthier this way, too.

If his parents are completely sensitive about it, then you need to find some way to get through to them. If you discipline him without beating the holy hell out of him, and he actually adjusts and stops being such a pratt (and remember to REWARD HIM for when he's been good for a while so he sees the benefit), and then you show him how good he can be if they just structure his life a little bit, they will probably change! Don't just walk up to them and tell them they suck at parenting, that'll just make em defensive. Also, remember that nobody is really going to physically stop him when you're disciplining him unless you're hurting him. If you just take the food away and tell him he's turning into a fat useless louse, it probably won't evoke a response. If you throw him off the couch and then start beating his ass... well... You see where I'm going here.

Be reasonable, but don't take any crap.

And this is more or less just what I've seen as working VERY effectively against the kids my sis-in-law deals with, and they're just normal kids. Correct them without abusing them and they'll learn to respect the rules.

8/20/2007 10:42:58 PM

fals consequences? are you kidding? thats only going to make things worse. Telling them whats right and whats wrong is useless at 13 because they already know and if they don't then they're slow and will never get it anyway. If you try to make them be soemthing they aren't you could really be screwing up if they are a stubborn individual that will make them SEE TO IT that they don't change.

They just have to literally "change" in their personality, mindset and line of thought you can't "change" a person. Its more of a growth or evolution than a change.

8/20/2007 10:46:16 PM

[Edited on August 20, 2007 at 10:48 PM. Reason : oh man, there are some interesting paddling websites ]

8/20/2007 10:46:19 PM

^^ Have you ever spoken to a teenager?

Are you suggesting he just sits back and takes this shit from a 13 year old?

Oh, but of course, people can never be influenced by other people.

You're an idiot.

8/20/2007 10:54:57 PM

Quote :

"not true at all. before we are born, we already have a personality. thats proven fact."

i think you might have a learning disability

8/20/2007 10:56:39 PM

o of course not. if you don't want him watching your tv then don't let him but don't think you're going to mauryly save him. Making up ridiculous rules and threatening God on him is probably only going to make him more rebellious in the long run.

8/20/2007 10:57:46 PM

"That boy's about as sharp as a sack of wet mice!"

8/20/2007 11:06:21 PM

Quote :

"wake up folks. people can't be changed and are going to do whatever they want to do regardless of what you say or do to them. It has nothing to do with parenting. Just a legend/adult fairy tale. Great parents can have the worst kids and vice versa. "

Bullllllll fucking shit. Poetrickster lays another egg.



--------------------







Dude, I have the key to straighten this kid out. Explain to him about pussy. How great sex is, how much fun it is to get laid, and how every thing he does currently is going to cockblock him for like.

8/20/2007 11:13:28 PM