A neutron walks into a bar and says "One beer please".
The bartender promptly serves up a beer.
"How much will that be?" asks the neutron.
"For you?" replies the bartender, "no charge"



I looked for the old thread but it's gone....sooooo, let's make this one version 2. kkthx

1/14/2008 1:46:30 PM

old as shit


cue mushroom "fun guy" joke

1/14/2008 1:47:10 PM

I can't believe you had the audacity to make this thread.

1/14/2008 1:47:19 PM

let the flaming begin

1/14/2008 1:48:58 PM

^^

[Edited on January 14, 2008 at 1:49 PM. Reason : arrows]

1/14/2008 1:48:59 PM

fuck you. The first time this thread was made it went to a million pages and everyone loved it so stfu and post the jokes.

1/14/2008 1:50:06 PM

1/14/2008 1:52:14 PM

a million pages?

i have serious doubts about this assertion

1/14/2008 1:52:54 PM

^^I lawled

[Edited on January 14, 2008 at 1:53 PM. Reason : slow!]

1/14/2008 1:52:57 PM

I heard it like this before:

A neutron walks into a bar and says "One beer please".
The bartender (who happens to be a proton) promptly serves up a beer.
"How much will that be?" asks the neutron.
"For you?" replies the bartender, "no charge"
"You sure?" asks the neutron.
"I'm positive" replies the bartender.

Still cheesy but with a little more wit to it.

1/14/2008 2:56:45 PM

This kid walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says "Son, I can't serve you a drink, you're too young." So the kid says "I'm not your son". Then the bartender says "Okay then boy, I still can't serve you." The kid says "I'm not a boy." So the waitress comes over and gives the girl a drink. Then the bartender says "This joke makes no sense."


Heard this one from pawprint a few years ago:

A piece of rope goes into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says "Hey, we don't serve your kind around here, get lost!" So the rope goes outside and finds an alley. He ties himself up and ruffles up his hair and generally messes himself up a bit, then goes back into the bar. The bartender says "Hey, aren't you that rope that just came in a minute ago?" The ropes says "No, I'm a frayed knot!"

1/14/2008 3:34:29 PM

Mrs. Jones goes to the doctor for a full medical.

After an hour or so, the doctor looks at Mrs. Jones and says the following: "Mrs. Jones, overall you are very healthy for a 45 year old. There is however, only one problem. You are 40 pounds overweight and bordering on obese. I would strongly suggest that you diet now to save any complications in later years."

She looks sternly at him and says, "I demand a second opinion".

"OK" he says, "you're fucking ugly as well!"

1/14/2008 4:26:17 PM

^now that's a good one...better than a flaming neutered neutron

1/14/2008 4:31:10 PM

A guy walks into a bar and orders 6 shots of Jager.
The bartender says "Why so many shots?"
They guy says "I'm celebrating my first blowjob."
The bartender says "Well, in that case here is another shot on the house!"
The man says "Nah, if 6 shots can't get the taste out of my mouth, I don't think another one will help!"

1/14/2008 5:47:10 PM

what is it human

1/14/2008 5:57:42 PM

ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION

1/14/2008 6:01:28 PM

A grasshopper walks into a bar, and the bartender says,
"Hey! We've got a drink named after you!"
and the grasshopper says,
"You have a drink named Bob?"

1/14/2008 6:05:33 PM

Quote :

"A neutron walks into a bar and says "One beer please". The bartender (who happens to be a proton) promptly serves up a beer. "How much will that be?" asks the neutron. "For you?" replies the bartender, "no charge" "You sure?" asks the neutron. "I'm positive" replies the bartender."

that's fucking retarded. why would a proton be tending bar?

---

what do you do w/ a dead chemist?

barium.

[Edited on January 14, 2008 at 6:08 PM. Reason : lawlz.]

1/14/2008 6:08:17 PM

what did the drummer get on his final exam?

drool

1/14/2008 6:36:22 PM

Why is 6 afraid of 7????

1/14/2008 6:44:46 PM

http://thewolfweb.com/joke_list.aspx

1/14/2008 6:47:01 PM

^^ Cause 7 8 9

1/14/2008 6:51:26 PM

A man walks into a bar
he orders a drink, "tall glass of beer, low fat"
the bartender accidentally brings him regular beer
the man drinks it then says, "this tastes funny"
the bartender says "uh oh"
everyone laughs

1/14/2008 7:08:11 PM

A man, his son, and a dog walk into a bar.

"Ow!"

"Ow!"

"Woof!"

1/14/2008 7:09:23 PM

So this dyslexic man walks into a bra...

1/14/2008 7:10:17 PM

Quote :

"Why is 6 afraid of 7????"

7 is black

1/14/2008 7:12:29 PM

How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb?










Hey! Let's go ride bikes!

1/14/2008 7:14:05 PM

so this guy goes into an apartment he wants to rent but there is all this stuff on the wall. He thinks, you know it looks like cum.

so he brings in a red head and says, what is that stuff on the wall?
she says, "it looks like cum." and she leaves

then a brunette walks in and he asks here the same thing
she says, "it looks like cum and it smells like it too"

then a blonde walks in,
she gets real close and says, it looks like cum, smells like it," and then she licks it
"and it tastes like it too, But its nobody from this building"

1/14/2008 7:14:24 PM

whats the difference between a large pizza and a black man?


large pizza can feed a family of four.

1/14/2008 7:15:15 PM

what do you call two mexicans playing basketball?


Juan on Juan...

1/14/2008 7:21:07 PM

the joke in the topic is one of my favorites. i always use it.

1/14/2008 8:17:53 PM

Two flies are on a piece of shit, one fly cuts a fart, the other one goes "hey, I'm eating here!"

1/14/2008 8:26:49 PM

How come black people only have nightmares?
We killed the only one with a dream.

Why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide?
You would too if your name was 'Urghrrghrghr'.

1/14/2008 8:30:59 PM

An electron walks into a bar and demands a drink and the bartender says

"If you are going to be negative the you need to get out"

1/14/2008 9:00:03 PM

^^that's probably my favorite racist joke

1/14/2008 9:05:12 PM

So the 911 dispatcher answers the phone, and it's a little kid.

"Help, my dad's had a heart attack and he's dead!"

The dispatcher says, "Calm down, calm down. First, make sure he's dead."

So the kid walks away, and the dispatcher hears the BANG! of a gun being fired. And the kid comes back and says "Okay, now what?"


[Edited on January 14, 2008 at 9:47 PM. Reason : /]

1/14/2008 9:46:43 PM

so there's two sausages in a frying pan
it starts heating up, grease starts sizzling
one sausage rolls over and say to the other
"it's getting kind of hot in here"
the other sausage jerks back and says
"HOLY SHIT A TALKING SAUSAGE!"

1/14/2008 9:52:16 PM

Quote :

"A man walks into a bar he orders a drink, "tall glass of beer, low fat" the bartender accidentally brings him regular beer the man drinks it then says, "this tastes funny" the bartender says "uh oh" everyone laughs"

i dont even know if i got this right but it made me laugh

1/14/2008 9:52:32 PM

^ I don't get it...I'd like to, but I don't. I feel there is def funny in there.

1/14/2008 10:02:29 PM

Quote :

"Mrs. Schroedinger to Mr. Schroedinger: What the hell did you do to the cat? It looks half dead!"

1/14/2008 10:09:58 PM

A duck walks into a bar with a rabbi on his head.

"What's the deal?" the bartender asks.

The duck says, "It's opposite day."

1/15/2008 10:12:25 AM

A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some chapstick, put it on my bill"

1/15/2008 10:44:56 AM

words of wisdom

-- Borrow money from a pessimist, they don't expect it back.

-- Friends may come and go, but enemies tend to accumulate.

-- If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again; it was probably worth it.

-- Some people are only alive because it's illegal to kill them.

-- It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.

1/15/2008 1:24:04 PM

Quote :

"-- If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again; it was probably worth it."

favorite

1/15/2008 6:28:59 PM

^^

-A bad friend stabs you in the back.
-A good friend stabs you in the front.

1/15/2008 6:32:35 PM