So I just got done reading last month's GQ and the only really interesting article was a 9 page essay about how the animals are evolving rapidly to arm themselves against us and attacks on humans are on the exponential rise. I can't remember the last time I went out of my way to finish something that was 9 pages but I found it to be a good read in an eery Crichton-like way.

Finally, at the end of the article is a small paragraph, barely 5 lines, that says GQ didn't like the article because he made it up and is making him say so. He says the animal attacks he cited are factual but the main character (a professor) and the setting (a trip to Africa) were fictional but based in the likeness of certain others.

At least Tim O'Brien had the decency to put such a warning on the title page of his book, The Things They Carried, which i was forced to read my freshman year at App. It just left a bad taste in my mouth after finishing the whole article and it almost makes me question the credibility of the "facts". The author even uses phrases like "it's true" and "you can google it" to reassure the reader early in the article and then has the gall to betray him on the next page.

So anyway,
1) Are animals eventually gonna get the best of us?
2) Should a magazine think more about putting a foreword label on fiction, posing as non-fiction (until a blip at the end*) ? Couldn't this and similar articles in a national magazine spawn disinformation if it assumes the reader will finish every single word of the paper?

*also the end was one of those "continued on page..." so it was split up into 5 pages and 4 pages.

2/17/2008 11:37:52 PM

we are the primary apex predator, but that doesn't mean there aren't animals that will FUCK US UP

for instance

hippos are, in fact, very very hungry

[Edited on February 18, 2008 at 12:06 AM. Reason : ,]

2/18/2008 12:06:30 AM

2/18/2008 12:15:31 AM

bears were actually named the most dangerous land animal in the article

evil genius dolphins being their sea counterpart

2/18/2008 12:17:14 AM

you do realize that evolution takes longer than 2000 years, right?

dumbass

2/18/2008 12:19:58 AM

^you really don't understand evolution do you? evolution is constantly happening.

2/18/2008 12:32:29 AM

but how dangerous is the bear compared to the manbearpig?

2/18/2008 1:00:18 AM

Animal attacks are increasing because humans are going deeper into the previously uninhabited areas.

If anyone, anyone actually thinks that sort of behavior is an evolutionary response then they need to self perpetuate Natural Selection by committing seppuku.

2/18/2008 1:16:29 AM

We can’t wait until they attack us… I think this calls for a pre-emptive strike... against the armadillo!

There's plenty of evidence that its already prepared for war, we have no time to wait.

2/18/2008 6:20:51 AM

Quote :

"animals"

you know, humans are animals too

don't let anthropocentrism and the lack of a word for "non-human animals" allow you to miss the big picture



but anyway,

Quote :

"1) Are animals eventually gonna get the best of us?"

I hope so

we sure as fuck deserve it

just think how totally awesome it would be if michael vick was killed by a dog attack after getting out of jail

I would make that day an international dog holiday

Quote :

"2) Should a magazine think more about putting a foreword label on fiction, posing as non-fiction (until a blip at the end*) ?"

yes, as a good business decision, but not because it should be illegal to publish fiction "posing" as non-fiction

Quote :

"Couldn't this and similar articles in a national magazine spawn [m]isinformation* if it assumes the reader will finish every single word of the paper?"

yes, and spawning misinformation is a centuries-old american tradition

(*disinformation comes from governments or militaries and is always intentionally incorrect, never negligently)

2/18/2008 8:43:08 AM

Quote :

"Animal attacks are increasing because humans are going deeper into the previously uninhabited areas. If anyone, anyone actually thinks that sort of behavior is an evolutionary response then they need to self perpetuate Natural Selection by committing seppuku."

actually the article sites mainly from african/various tribal attacks where villagers have lived peacefully among the animals for centuries (we're talking generation after generation living in the same hut, never really expanding) and have just recently seen that peace spiral into conflict.

2/18/2008 11:28:10 AM

Was it by Tim Bedore? He has had an animal uprising bit in his comedy act since forever.

2/18/2008 12:40:08 PM

i dont want to scare anyone but...

don't watch this video if you're squemish

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CELK1Fjxvtg&eurl=http://stonersmanual.blogspot.com/2008/01/when-animals-attack.html

2/18/2008 1:39:56 PM

and apparently i'm not alone in my thoughts

Quote :

"Lying Like a Dog in 'Violence of the Lambs' By Peter Carlson Washington Post Staff Writer Tuesday, February 5, 2008; C07 The animals are coming after us and they're out for blood! The birds of the air and the beasts of the field are sick and tired of being hunted, caged, neutered, beaten and eaten. They're mad as hell and they've begun to fight back. It's not just grizzlies and sharks who are ripping people to shreds these days. Elephants, stingrays, dolphins, beavers, chimps, even chickens and hermit crabs are on the attack! The whole horrific story is laid out in "Violence of the Lambs," John Jeremiah Sullivan's article in the February issue of GQ magazine about "the coming battle between man and beast." Sullivan interviewed Marcus Livengood, a zoologist who blows the whistle on the alarming worldwide increase in animals attacking humans: In India, leopards invaded Mumbai, killing 22 people! In Albania, a pack of 200 wild dogs rampaged through the town of Mamurras, attacking humans! In Sonoma County, Calif., chickens turned on local children! In North Carolina, hermit crabs besieged a jogger on a beachside boardwalk! The animals are fighting back against human encroachment, says Livengood: "We are a threat to the animals. They're just doing what nature designed them to do." The article is terrifying! It's horrifying! It's . . . It's . . . It's baloney. It's a fake, a fraud, a hoax, a prank. To learn that, you've got to read through seven pages of gaseous prose until you get to the second to last paragraph in the story, where you find this little revelation: "Big parts of this piece I made up. I didn't want to say that, but the editors are making me, because of certain scandals in the past with made-up stories." Sullivan admits in the piece that he concocted Marcus Livengood, who does not exist, but he swears that the animal attack stories he cited are really true. "All the facts are real," Jim Nelson, GQ's editor, said in a phone interview. "All the bizarre animal attacks are real." Sullivan, a National Magazine Award-winning writer, has been collecting news stories of weird animal attacks for years, Nelson says. And he wanted to write a piece that played with the idea of what Nelson calls "a 'Planet of the Apes' mythology." When Sullivan couldn't find a real scientist willing to entertain his apocalyptic ideas, he invented one, with Nelson's permission. "He plays with the reader's incredulity until the very end," Nelson says. "You have to stay with it. We were betting that the readers would stay with it until the end." Reaction has been mixed, Nelson says: "It runs the gamut from 'Oh my God, that's the scariest, most fascinating piece I ever read!' to 'I can't believe you made it all up!' " Hoaxes are, of course, nothing new in the magazine biz. Remember Esquire's 2006 hoax about a nonexistent Texas millionaire's plan for a "fat tax" that would balance the federal budget by taxing the obese? And GQ's 1997 article about problems on the set of the nonexistent movie "God," with Marlon Brando fired from the title role because he kept walking around naked? And Esquire's 1996 profile of a nonexistent airhead starlet named Allegra Coleman? Who says fiction is dead? As pranks go, Sullivan's is pretty good -- a clever parody of environmental scare stories. And I loved the illustrations, particularly the full-page color photo of a gentle little lamb, its fleece as white as snow, except for the fresh blood dripping from around its vicious little mouth. It makes you wonder: If the animals did attack us, who could blame them? After all, we do kill them, hack up their corpses and eat them, which is the kind of thing that would make anybody a little cranky. The problem is, the little suckers are so tasty and we humans are so hungry."

2/18/2008 1:41:09 PM