[WORDS]

As many of you know, I work in Corporate America. I get a biweekly newsletter that announces things like job postings, personnel promotions & moves, blood drives, charity events, etc. Every now & then something funny will show up. This week, this gem was in there. It's taken from another website but the fact that it ended up in this 'newsletter' is pretty funny mostly due to the word usage (ie: cube farm, prairie dogging)

Cubicle Etiquette



Working in a cube can present challenges. These helpful hints will help cube dwellers remain productive and respectful toward coworkers. This information was taken in full from http://www.bremercommunications.com/Cubicle_Etiquette.htm.





PRIVACY

Never enter someone’s cubicle without permission. Behave as though cubicles have doors. Do not enter before you have eye contact “permission” from the occupant.
Try not to sneak up behind someone in a cube. Announce yourself at their doorway or lightly knock on the wall.
Post a sign or flag at your cube entrance to signal when you can be interrupted. Avoid making eye contact with people if you don’t want to be interrupted.
Don’t “prairie-dog” over the tops of cubes or peek in as you walk past each one.
Don’t loiter outside someone’s cube while you wait for him or her to finish a phone call. Come back at another time.
Never read someone’s computer screen or comment on conversations you’ve overheard. Resist answering a question you overheard asked in the cube next to you!
Keep your hands off a cube dweller’s desk. Just because there’s no door doesn’t mean you can help yourself to their paper clips.

PHONES



Try to pick up your phone after one or two rings. Set the ringer volume at a low level.
Limit the use of speakerphones. If you must use one, keep the volume as low as possible. Use a meeting room for conference calls.
Watch your volume when talking on the phone. A headset can help keep your voice low.
When you leave your cubicle, turn your phone ringer off and let it go to voicemail or forward your phone number to your new location.
Never leave your cell phone behind in your cube without first turning it off or to vibrate.
With personal or sensitive calls, be aware that your neighbors can hear your end of the conversation.


TALKING



Use your “library voice”.
Don’t talk through cube walls or congregate outside someone’s cube. For impromptu meetings, go to a conference room or break room.
Don’t bring clients to your cube to meet with them. Go to an office or conference room.
Don’t yell across the “cube farm”. Get up and move to the other person’s location.


GENERAL NOISE


Use e-mail or instant messaging to communicate silently with your coworkers.
Play radios at low volumes or use a headset.
Set your PC volume to a low level and turn off screensaver sound effects.
Set pagers and cell phones to vibrate.
Work out an arrangement with your neighbors to take lunch breaks at different times. This will give each of you some quiet time in your cube.
Eat quietly. Avoid gum-popping, humming, slurping and pen tapping.

[/WORDS]

2/22/2008 12:27:50 AM

2/22/2008 12:29:17 AM

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jk that was great

2/22/2008 12:30:49 AM

Quote :

"Don’t “prairie-dog”"

damn, i do that

2/22/2008 12:31:34 AM

Quote :

"Don’t yell across the “cube farm”. "

2/22/2008 12:33:21 AM

I'm pretty sure farting is bad form.

2/22/2008 2:08:04 AM

If only companies could figure out just how productivity enhancing offices were. No distractions = lots of work getting done.

[Edited on February 22, 2008 at 2:23 AM. Reason : first job was cube farm. now i have an office ftw]

2/22/2008 2:20:54 AM

There is nothing funny in that.

2/22/2008 9:29:48 AM

Quote :

"Try not to sneak up behind someone in a cube."

But that sounds like fun.

I'm so glad I don't have a cube.

2/22/2008 9:35:56 AM

Walk in
some small talk
rip one
leave

2/22/2008 9:57:58 AM

Quote :

"Don’t “prairie-dog""

I thought that was something a little different

2/22/2008 10:02:16 AM

god i'm so glad i dont work in a cube. its great not worrying about people peering over your shoulder at your computer screen.


i can t-dub in peace.

2/22/2008 10:03:03 AM

i have another one

-please crop dust in case you need to fart to avoid offending your neighbor cubemate

2/22/2008 10:05:25 AM

im glad i have an office

2/22/2008 10:05:49 AM

Quote :

"god i'm so glad i dont work in a cube. its great not worrying about people peering over your shoulder at your computer screen. i can t-dub in peace."

glad i have an office.


also, who the fuck has a pager anymore?

2/22/2008 10:13:04 AM

also, do not bring overly odiferous cuisine to eat at your cube

2/22/2008 10:59:14 AM

I have a pager.

I'm also glad I have 6 ft high cube walls. My last place was 4 ft high walls.

2/22/2008 11:09:35 AM

what's your pager for?

DRUGZ?

2/22/2008 11:10:18 AM

A work pager doesn't really count.

2/22/2008 11:10:18 AM

we can push email alarms/alerts to cells now right

WE HAVE THE TECHNOLOGY

2/22/2008 11:10:50 AM

im glad i have an office

2/22/2008 11:11:24 AM

The shrimp microwave meals should be banned from all office cubicles, break rooms, and microwaves... you want to eat that stank ass shit... go put it in the gas station microwave down the road....

2/22/2008 11:12:20 AM

WITH A LITTLE BIT OF GOLD AND A PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGER

2/22/2008 11:12:41 AM

Quote :

"we can push email alarms/alerts to cells now right"

I'm glad I don't have a work cell, so people can't reach me 24/7. I carry the pager sometimes which only serves the purpose of going off to tell me to log on to my laptop and check some stuff.

2/22/2008 11:22:13 AM

glad I have an office x10

2/22/2008 11:25:55 AM

I never had to deal with a cubicle

Probably a good thing since the minimum blast radius on most of my farts is 15 feet

I always keep my door open tho...if something exciting happens, I don't want to miss out

[Edited on February 22, 2008 at 11:27 AM. Reason : x]

2/22/2008 11:27:04 AM

^^ YOU STILL HAVE NO DOOR!

2/22/2008 11:29:04 AM

our office is open door policy so i can never fully shut people out.

I was at this amazing GC's office building off providence rd. the other day and i went into this guy's office that i do some work with. He had a small office but one whole side was window which was awesome. Plus his door was sound proof, as soon as it opened his music was blaring. I would space out for hours in a setting like that.

2/22/2008 11:41:35 AM

Quote :

"He had a small office but one whole side was window which was awesome."

mine's not that small, but I do have a floor to ceiling window filling up my entire wall. Plus working on the 15th floor FTW

2/22/2008 11:43:17 AM

crop dusting ftw!

2/22/2008 11:43:36 AM

i've got 4 beige walls, the one in front of me has a big map of the charlotte-metro area. I need to get some pics and state stuff in here but i just haven't cared that much



we need to bump or restart that "take a picture of your workspace" thread.

[Edited on February 22, 2008 at 11:48 AM. Reason : add]

2/22/2008 11:47:07 AM

I don't think I could ever take a job in a cubicle farm seriously enough not to find ways to entertain myself.

2/22/2008 11:47:48 AM

Yeah, I really need to do something with my walls too. I got two tiny little pictures at the dollar store that I put on nails that were here when I moved in, and my co-workers made me a "window"

Other than that it's really boring.

2/22/2008 11:49:41 AM

An aside: I heard that pagers failed the test of the emergency text-messaging system at State this week. FYI.

2/22/2008 12:22:03 PM

why did you post that in this thread?

2/22/2008 12:27:01 PM

our cubes have windows on em so we like to go up and mash our faces against the glass until they look up and notice us


we also like to do scares on people sitting in their cubes by sneakin up behind them, or hiding down under their desks until they come in and sit down



in fact, we dont follw any of these rules lol

2/22/2008 12:29:15 PM

ha that would be fun hiding under peoples desk like that

I once rigged a guys chair so it would break when he sat in it, but I wasn't around when it happened

2/22/2008 12:31:14 PM

one of the dudes hid under the bosses desk because she had stepped out


but when she came back she was talking with a scientist and they kinda stood at the door talking for abour like 45 minutes, finally when she sat down the dude was alreayd so cramped and could barely move and basically just crawled out from under the desk


it still scared her

2/22/2008 12:34:56 PM

Quote :

"we also like to do scares on people sitting in their cubes by sneakin up behind them"

How the hell do you sneak up behind someone in a cube?

2/22/2008 12:46:57 PM

when it is something top secret I usually get a piece of paper and throw it in the cubical that I want it to go in....otherwise, we literally talk to the cubical wall.


are you there? are you there?

then they get pissed when you get back in your cubical and they say they have been calling you and you didnt answer(thinking you have been there the whole time ignoring them)

[Edited on February 22, 2008 at 1:03 PM. Reason : w]

2/22/2008 1:03:10 PM

^^you um, walk up behind them clandestinely with the goal being to avoid detection until you choose to suddenly alert them of your presence...usualy this involves walking through the opening in the cube, unless there are people who can hover or walk through fuckin walls you god damn retard

2/22/2008 1:16:27 PM

a lot of cubes are orientated with your back to the opening, and you get good at ignoring people walking by... so the places I have worked at it was very customary to knock on the cube whenever you dropped in...

At NGC you share a slightly bigger cubicle with somebody else unless your a manager with an office... the lady next to me talked on the phone ALL DAMN DAY to her daughter or something... Also she would wear copious amounts of some heinous perfume every once in a while that literally made me gag... it sucked.

2/22/2008 1:27:28 PM

Quote :

"usualy this involves walking through the opening in the cube"

How fucking big are your cubes? No way someone could walk into mine without me noticing.

2/22/2008 1:54:07 PM

a cubist's dilemma:

arrange his computer so he faces outward, then people can't see him surfing stupid internet shit?

or

arrange his computer so his back is towards the entrance, so people can't see him nodding off after lunch?



ALT-TAB FTW

2/22/2008 3:20:52 PM

Quote :

"until you choose to suddenly alert them of your presence"

who the fuck asks how you sneak up on someone?

btw office>cubicle and field work IMO>>>>cubicle.

I have an office and do a lot of field work. benefits of working in production environment.

2/22/2008 3:29:43 PM

Quote :

"who the fuck asks how you sneak up on someone?"

I didn't understand how it would be possible unless you decided to arrange it where you face 180 degree from the entrance. No clue who would want that. Maybe his coworkers just really really really slow.

2/22/2008 3:38:41 PM

ok. i have never seen cubicles where the people face toward the entrance. all of the movies/shows where there are cubicles that i have seen show the worker facing away from the entrance. (see: office space except the stapler guy)

2/22/2008 3:40:48 PM

I see. I had to whip up a sweet ms paint drawing to explain it to my coworker the other day.

2/22/2008 3:43:53 PM

oh sweet sweet sweet paint. what would the eletronic world do without you

2/22/2008 3:51:59 PM

they'd use visio or paintshop

2/22/2008 3:52:58 PM