paerabol
All American
17118 Posts
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Yes, yes we all get this trash from out-of-touch family members. I thought it was funny enough to post, if you don't agree then feel more than free to whine here.
| Quote : | "One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't
feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'
I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to
hear...
'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough
for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me
for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to
sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time
with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big,
big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried
on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which
one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new
shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each
outfit.'
We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of
diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have
thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she
was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't
even know how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.'
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is
all
dear, let's go to the cashier.'
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I
don't feel like it.'
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a
baffled, 'WHAT?'
I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a
while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for
me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I
added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I
buy you?'
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that
bitch knows I'm smarter than her." |
[Edited on April 6, 2008 at 1:15 AM. Reason : from my dad] 4/6/2008 1:15:02 AM
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jataylor
All American
6652 Posts
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summary
| Quote : | "You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for
me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." |
4/6/2008 1:19:45 AM |
joepeshi
All American
8094 Posts
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I thought it was funny...sent email to my brother. 4/6/2008 1:39:01 AM |
ambrosia1231
eeeeeeeeeevil
76471 Posts
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What my grandfather sent this morning:
| Quote : | "WARNING FROM PAKISTAN
TAKE HEED!!!!
THIS MORNING, FROM A CAVE SOMEWHERE IN PAKISTAN,
TALIBAN MINISTER OF MIGRATION, MOHAMMED OMAR,
WARNED THE UNITED STATES AND CANADA THAT IF
MILITARY ACTION AGAINST IRAQ CONTINUES, TALIBAN
AUTHORITIES WILL CUT OFF AMERICA'S AND CANADA'S
SUPPLY OF CONVENIENCE STORE MANAGERS.
AND IF THIS ACTION DOES NOT YIELD SUFFICIENT RESULTS,
CAB DRIVERS WILL BE NEXT, FOLLOWED BY VERIZON AND
DELL CUSTOMER SERVICE REPS.
IT'S GETTING UGLY!!!" |
4/6/2008 10:50:06 AM |
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