You fucked up my patrol car.....again

So far the official tally is:

Bird 1

Squirrel 1

Rabbit 2

Deer 2

Possum 1

Turtle 1

I really wish cute woodland critters would stop running in front of my car.

6/2/2008 11:23:24 PM

possums are about as cute as I am

6/2/2008 11:25:10 PM

For the critters

6/2/2008 11:25:29 PM

for my car

6/2/2008 11:27:20 PM

How did you manage to hit a turtle?!

6/2/2008 11:28:03 PM

it was walking in the road

6/2/2008 11:28:32 PM

Sorry dude, but screw your car. I am sure the tax payers will be buying you a new one. We can't just buy another deer.

6/2/2008 11:29:09 PM

your a cop ?

well fuck you

6/2/2008 11:31:24 PM

you're a cop?

awesome.

6/2/2008 11:32:05 PM

cars fixable

6/2/2008 11:32:12 PM

"It came out of nowhere!"

6/2/2008 11:32:34 PM

probably just got finished listening to NWA and wanted to start some shit

6/2/2008 11:32:47 PM

You need to have pictures of the cute animals that you have slaughtered and show them to criminals or jerks that try and act like tough guys. Tell them that if you are willing to do that to a deer just imagine what you would do to them.

6/2/2008 11:33:59 PM

Quote :

""It came out of nowhere!""

yeah it did, in broad day light too......just sprinted into the road. i was going to a 911 call

too bad it wasnt a trophy buck, i could have mounted it over the fireplace

[Edited on June 2, 2008 at 11:35 PM. Reason : .]

6/2/2008 11:34:24 PM

Quote :

"possums are about as cute as I am"

lol/

6/2/2008 11:38:00 PM

I've driven a lot in my life and I've never hit a bird, squirrel, rabbit, deer, possum, or turtle. You must suck at avoiding shit. And how the fuck do you hit a turtle?

[Edited on June 2, 2008 at 11:39 PM. Reason : retract the rabbit comment, one time I ran over a whole family of rabbits]

6/2/2008 11:38:31 PM

I had one run into the side of my car once.

6/2/2008 11:38:52 PM

fresh meat

6/2/2008 11:39:34 PM

its easy to hit stuff on rural roads at night when responding to calls

6/2/2008 11:40:44 PM

I had a hawk fly into the side of my truck a few months ago. I felt terrible for about a week. I'd rather run my vehicle into a ditch than hit an animal. People are a different story. . .

6/2/2008 11:42:00 PM

yeah, i hate it too....thus my line

Quote :

"I really wish cute woodland critters would stop running in front of my car."

i dont like killing animals with a crown vic

6/2/2008 11:43:20 PM

Could one assume though from your wording what you don't mind killing animals with other implements?

6/2/2008 11:46:48 PM

and all these people spend a bunch of money on guns, camo, and scents when they can just hit one in a car with their headlights on while blowing their horn.

[Edited on June 2, 2008 at 11:51 PM. Reason : ]

6/2/2008 11:48:04 PM

Quote :

"And how the fuck do you hit a turtle?"

They are small and hard to see. When I was a kid my mom ran over one in our driveway, you couldn't see it b/c it was at the point where it went from uphill to flat.

It made quite a mess, actually.

6/2/2008 11:50:17 PM

i mourn all the animals i have killed....and the damage the two deer have done to my car

6/3/2008 12:01:21 AM

You, sir, are a quality human being.

6/3/2008 12:05:48 AM

Quote :

"cute woodland critters"

"Hail Satan!"

[Edited on June 3, 2008 at 12:08 AM. Reason : ]

6/3/2008 12:07:29 AM

The only animal I remember was a squirrel on state campus and I really felt bad...

6/3/2008 12:07:44 AM

its like bingo, if i get them all i win a prize

6/3/2008 12:11:49 AM

bear might be kinda hard

6/3/2008 12:12:29 AM

i aim for possums

6/3/2008 12:13:44 AM

if i nail a bear, im dragging it to the taxidermist and keeping it

6/3/2008 12:14:04 AM

I thought this said beer.

6/3/2008 12:14:29 AM

ha. I almost ran over a fox cutting through frat court a couple years ago. fucker came out of nowhere.

6/3/2008 12:17:41 AM

when my aunt lived in alaska there were these small flightless birds, she didn't know they were flightless of course, and she was driving along one night there were a lot of them in the road, she thinks "oh well they'll fly away when the car gets closer" *thud**thud**thud**thud*

woman in the car with her: "what the hell"
aunt: "they aren't flying away"
woman in the car with her: "those birds can't fly"
aunt: "oh... oops"

6/3/2008 12:21:15 AM

I fucking hate deer. Ruining succession

6/3/2008 12:22:07 AM

I drove half a mile at 60 MPH through a cloud of little black birds completely engulfing my Cherokee and didn't hit a damn one. Oh how I wish I had video of that.

What did a turtle fuck up on your car? And if you hit a bear, you better keep a box of your own ammo just so you can shoot it before you throw it in the trunk or whatnot

[Edited on June 3, 2008 at 12:59 AM. Reason : .]

6/3/2008 12:57:47 AM

^Why do you sound disappointed by that?

[Edited on June 3, 2008 at 1:01 AM. Reason : ^]

6/3/2008 1:01:07 AM

^Sorry, I wasn't disappointed; I just can't tell a story online. I was synergy between my Jeep and birds dodging all around, kinda magical.

6/3/2008 1:07:22 AM

Quote :

"when my aunt lived in alaska there were these small flightless birds, "

Penguins?

6/3/2008 1:09:42 AM

^


No! Not Tux!

[Edited on June 3, 2008 at 1:31 AM. Reason : damn big]

6/3/2008 1:26:33 AM

it sounds like you have trouble driving and avoiding animals. don't they make you take a driving test before dressing you in the blue jumpsuit?

6/3/2008 10:13:30 AM

I read that as "Damn Beer" and was like "why the fuck does he have a tally of aminals?!??!"

6/3/2008 10:19:26 AM