My fellow Americans, we are living in a critical point in our nation's history. We need real change to make it through these trying times, and I will be the man to lead us into the future stronger and more prosperous than ever before. Here is what I promise to do in my first term:

1) No taxes. I won't raise them, I won't lower them. I'll get rid of them entirely. It's your money and you deserve to keep it and spend it on whatever you want.

2) Do away with Welfare and Unemployment. People who are fired will have one week to find a new job. Those out of work for longer than a week will be offered a military job. If they are unable to perform the duties of enlistees, then they will be given clerical jobs. Those who have disabilities that prevent them from completing any function or job would be deported.

3) Move infrastructure entirely to the private sector.

4) Definitively win the War in Iraq and bring our boys home.

5) Go to war with China and take their oil.

6) Privatize schools. It's called survival of the fittest people. The best will succeed and the rest will be eliminated.

7) Invent fuel cell cars.

8) Deport all illegals. Let welfare recipients pick lettuce for their checks at sub-minimum wages.

9) Make self-responsibility & accountability the ultimate law.

10) Disband the federal government, only keeping the courts and the military.

One time I saw my opponent at the grocery store buying carrots and vaseline. I don't have to tell you what that's about. That's not change we can believe in. Welp, thanks and may God Bless Americans.

6/7/2008 11:02:01 AM

1 nullifies the other 9

6/7/2008 11:23:45 AM

Furthermore we need to close the boarders. I don't think a Canadian should be allowed to come here without a damn good reason. We have to keep the mud people out.

6/7/2008 11:28:37 AM

Why do so many people spell it "boarders"?

6/7/2008 2:25:48 PM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tTzs9G-VOZ4

6/7/2008 2:32:56 PM

Quote :

"Those who have disabilities that prevent them from completing any function or job would be deported."

Deported to.....????

Quote :

"Definitively win the War in Iraq and bring our boys home."

By doing.....????

[Edited on June 7, 2008 at 2:43 PM. Reason : ]

6/7/2008 2:42:38 PM

^Listen up you fricken communist you need to SUPPORT THE TROOPS and not question it. They are winning the war but they wont if people like you keep tearing them down and undermining our efforts. I bet your parents were immigrants. if our boarders were closed the UNITED STATES OF GOD'S AMERICA would have done the world a faver and made sure you were never born!

Do you see ladies and gentlemen how my opponent launches these personal attacks against me. He does that because he knows I am right on the facts and you cant make the American citizens believe a lie.

6/7/2008 7:24:14 PM

6/7/2008 7:31:15 PM

They are gonna put that on the quarter

6/7/2008 7:34:33 PM

ummm... If you get rid of taxes, how are you gonna pay for the military and courts?

6/7/2008 8:07:28 PM

^Everyone between 14 and 36 will be drafted into the military, and they will be required to pay the government for room and board. The leftover money will pay for the courts and military equipment.

6/7/2008 8:16:00 PM

so, if they are drafted into the military, how will they pay for their room and board?

6/7/2008 8:39:15 PM

I will use the US budget surplus and sell the oil reserves and keep that profit for myself. The people will have to pay room and board out of their parents' social security checks.

6/7/2008 9:03:10 PM

But how do you pay for SS checks with no taxes?

6/7/2008 9:05:23 PM

When we take all the oil from China we will have lots of money. Our soldiers will run through their streets stealing everything that can be sold. China has a billion people, if each of them own at least $100 worth of property that is at least $100 billion. They probably have more. And that does not even take businesses into account. India would be next on the list because they also have lots of people.

6/7/2008 9:09:37 PM

ummm... Our budget is in the Trillions, though. $100billion dollar bux wouldn't even begin to pay for the military

6/7/2008 9:23:30 PM

so basically no more of the stuff on the right ActionPanties?

6/7/2008 9:48:28 PM

guys this is actionpants attempt at humor... that or he just got a job and is paying taxes.

This is his parody of conservatives I believe.

Although some of the stuff he mentions isnt too bad.

6/7/2008 11:16:01 PM

Quote :

""Those who have disabilities that prevent them from completing any function or job would be deported.""

NO, WE CAN JUST ABORT THEM. OH WAIT, THAT ALREADY HAPPENS EVERY DAY IN THIS COUNTRY.

HANDICAPS JUST AREN'T HUMANS, RIGHT?

6/7/2008 11:21:58 PM

As president I will make abortions mandatory

6/7/2008 11:47:52 PM

Don't blame me, I voted for ActionPants.

6/8/2008 6:49:09 PM

^^I advise you to read about the Eugenics movement of the early 20th century before you make another comment on the subject.

6/9/2008 8:50:09 AM

if we had Eugenics maybe the LIBERAL IDIOTS like you would have been weeded out

6/9/2008 9:54:59 AM

What planet are you from?

6/9/2008 10:02:27 AM

Oh yeah I forgot I also want to make a national holiday to honor Terri Schiavo

[Edited on June 9, 2008 at 10:03 AM. Reason : ^PLANET AMERICA]

6/9/2008 10:02:42 AM

I like how you continue to mock conservatives, while ignoring the fact that Obama rationalized murder of handicapped children. Continue calling me names all you want, it only shows that you have no reasonable grounds for the basis of your views.

6/9/2008 10:07:16 AM

This is not about Obama's candidacy it is about mine

However I happen to agree with him on this

6/9/2008 10:21:20 AM

As a conservative I do not support keeping handicapped children alive unless their parents take the full brunt of their costs. Forcing the government to support any of these children is just adding to the socialist welfare state which is everything we conservatives are against.

6/9/2008 10:22:56 AM

^ & ^^ Oh, my bad. I was under the impression that murder is wrong.

6/9/2008 10:31:24 AM

It's not murder if Jesus designed them to die.

6/9/2008 10:33:38 AM

You can't murder what ain't been born

Ok seriouspost if I was going to have a kid and I knew he was going to have a debilitating mental illness for example I am pretty sure his life would be shitty considering that he would never be able to enjoy anything or know what was going on even. Why would I want to do that to my own kid?

6/9/2008 10:35:14 AM

you sure told that dumb kid. make sure you deny it any chance


AMERICAN LIBERALISM GOD WE ARE THE GREATEST CREATIONS OF HUMANITY WE RULE FUCK YEAH!

6/9/2008 10:37:07 AM

If at first you don't succeed, try try again

6/9/2008 10:38:39 AM

Why don't you at least eat your young? at least you'd be considered "green"

6/9/2008 10:40:08 AM

They only do that in brown people countries

6/9/2008 10:40:48 AM

We're not cannibals, we're merely following the conservative train of thought that says the private sector pays for everything, and if they don't pony up - sucks to be handicapped.

6/9/2008 10:41:12 AM

yum, instead of making the mother suffer the abortion after you rape her, why don't you just eat her instead.

that would save lots of carbon emissions in the long run AMIRITE??!

wow. this thread is A+ 10/10

[Edited on June 9, 2008 at 10:43 AM. Reason : .]

6/9/2008 10:42:42 AM

LIBERALS = RAPISTS

6/9/2008 10:43:40 AM

What's funny is I'm actually stating real conservative beliefs (albeit, this is what I'd consider nutwing libertarians) while you're just being an ass.

6/9/2008 10:45:13 AM

6/9/2008 10:47:08 AM

I don't even know what's happening in here anymore but it's awesome

6/9/2008 10:48:37 AM

Do you also think the Holocaust was awesome?

6/9/2008 10:55:28 AM

No, and I also don't think you can compare Hitler massacring the Jews to abortion. But I'm also not a brickyard preacher.

6/9/2008 10:58:07 AM

^^Are you implying that Jews are mentally disabled or that they were born as a result of rape or in circumstances such that they could not be properly cared for?

[Edited on June 9, 2008 at 11:06 AM. Reason : .]

6/9/2008 11:05:12 AM

A+ thread, bttt

6/9/2008 9:45:39 PM

^^No, I'm implying that you are mentally disabled because you won't consistently condemn the destruction of human life.

6/10/2008 8:40:28 AM

i agree with ^...abortion is in no way ending a life...kid hasnt even been born yet...whats the tombstone gonna say lol

6/10/2008 2:34:53 PM

Up ActionPants! Down the liberal tree-hugging equality-wannabe homersexshual left, center, and moderate right!

6/10/2008 2:53:22 PM

Okay I am revising my stance

Save all the fetuses

Execute all the criminals

6/10/2008 8:11:16 PM

Quote :

"9) Make self-responsibility & accountability the ultimate law."

I'd vote for you on that one point alone.

6/11/2008 12:36:37 AM