If the mandatory visectamies for the homeless doesnt work, I think this will

Quote :

"I was watching one of those boring as shit debates last night when one old bald tardbilly asked the candidates, “For us old people who have lost a lot of money, what are you going to do to help us get it back?” Now, neither douchebag on stage had the balls to tell this guy, “Sorry, old fogy. YOU BE FUCKED.” In fact, neither candidate had much of an idea about anything, apart from some tax cut and health care bullshit that our broke-ass government almost certainly can’t fucking afford. People, we need a solution. We can’t just keep doing the same old crap. We gotta, like, innovate and shit. This economy’s going into the shitter because so much of it is based on speculation and piggybacking on top of other industries. We gotta start producing more real, actual, useful shit for people to buy. But new, thriving industries don’t just spring up overnight. OR DO THEY? Three words: LEGALIZE IT, FUCKFACES. That’s right. It’s time to legalize pot. Weed. Mary jane. The sticky icky. The Chronic. The kush. The green monster. The skunky unky. The splendid spliffer. Vick’s cash crop. Travis Henry’s Birf Control. You know, that stuff. Think about it. How much money do we fucking wipe our asses with trying to prosecute weed dealing, weed smoking, weed trafficking, weed growing, weed harvesting, and weed bikini stitching? I bet it’s like, billions. I would look up the exact figure, but I’m stoned right now. And how big is the entire illegal marijuana industry? How much untaxed money is collectively made by dope dealers, and dope runners, and rectal dope smugglers? I bet it’s like, TRILLIONS. Again, I would look up the exact figure. But I’m stoned right now. People, we are sitting on a fucking gold mine here. If we legalize weed, BOOM! You got yourself a whole burgeoning mini-economy. Rural farmers would start making money growing weed. Urban hash bars would start making money serving weed. EZ Wider stock would go through the fucking ROOF. American snack makers like Tastykake would see records profits. Mmmm… Tastykake. God, that sounds so fucking good right now. Increased tax revenues would pay down our debts. And accounting firms would boom, because everyone would be too stoned to fill out a tax form properly. TOURISM! Holy shit, think of the fucking tourism! Legal weed and a cheap dollar? People would fucking SWIM to get here and start toking. You’re telling me I can smoke weed legally without having to deal with all those creepy Dutch fuckers? WINNAR. Imagine if weed were legal in Miami. With all those hot bodies sweatin’ and bumpin’ and grindin’. MONEYGASM. Sales of weed and weed supplies could help jump start the whole fucking system. Gigantic head shop/KFC/Philly Blunt outlets could bully Wal Mart out of existence. TAKE THAT, WALTON FAMILY! Health care costs would plummet. People would need less prescription drugs, or would be too lazy to get them filled. Hypochondriacs would stop going to the doctor every five minutes and just chill the fuck out. Less people would have the energy to pursue costly litigation. Furthermore, legalizing weed could lead to a massive national brainstorm of how we could solve all our other problems. “Hey man, what if we like, harnessed the power of the fucking DOLPHINS?” Indeed, why AREN’T we harnessing the power of the dolphins? We could do that! Goodbye, foreign energy dependence! We got all the power we need in Flipper right here. Best of all, even if legalizing weed failed to bring the economy back, no one would care. Know why? BECAUSE WE’D ALL BE STONED. How fucking bad can it be if you’ve got cheap KB readily available to you day and night? Not bad at all, people. And anyone who says otherwise can go get fucked. Our platform also pushes for the national legalization of gambling in all forms (even death pools), and of prostitution. All prostitutes. Female prostitutes. Male prostitutes. Midget prostitutes. All legal. All taxable. All highly naughty. Know what the fastest growing town in America is? Vegas. Well, why not just make the whole country that way? What would suck about that? Nothing, that’s what. These are tough times, people. It requires us to completely rethink how and why we do things. I’m talking real Freakonomic shit here. We’ve never herded Boston fans into sweatshops to make bedsheets for the world market. But shouldn’t we? I say yes. It all starts with a weed-based economy, my friends. If you care about the economic health of this great nation, you will join me in saying for the world to hear: TOKE, BABY, TOKE"

10/8/2008 12:41:47 PM

10/8/2008 12:42:32 PM

Quote :

"visectamies "

10/8/2008 12:46:55 PM

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"Hypochondriacs would stop going to the doctor every five minutes and just chill the fuck out."

haha

10/8/2008 12:53:16 PM

I dunno if limited legalization will actually be the panacea that everyone thinks it will be. The hardest part would be controlling who grows it.

10/8/2008 12:58:21 PM

chit chit is not soap box #2.

just because you can't win an argument in soap box #1 doesn't mean you have to attempt to appear smart over here.

I'm walls1441 and i approved this message.

10/8/2008 1:00:00 PM

great idea...that way, instead of just all the people with real legal jobs being in economic crisis, all the people with illegal jobs will also be in economic crisis when they govt takes away their market

10/8/2008 1:00:26 PM

Nah, they'll turn to the REAL drugs and then we can just lock them up and turn them into prison slaves.

10/8/2008 1:01:42 PM

I want a PEICE of that mountain of marijuana

10/8/2008 1:04:51 PM

I support this thread.

10/8/2008 1:08:52 PM

Just move to Denver, hippie.

10/8/2008 1:30:47 PM

i'm all for exploiting potheads

10/8/2008 1:51:14 PM

I've heard clothes made out of hemp are pretty cool.

10/8/2008 2:07:43 PM

I am frightened because that actually made sense.

And I don't even smoke pot.

10/8/2008 2:27:09 PM

It's weird that the people who grow and sell it now would want legalization.


They would be quickly pushed out of business, or at least forced to drastically cut prices, by commercial companies who can grow and market far more effectively.

[Edited on October 8, 2008 at 2:30 PM. Reason : sp]

10/8/2008 2:30:00 PM

Unregulated corporate weed would in theory lead to the most potent weed.

10/8/2008 2:31:14 PM

weed sprayed with ammonia

10/8/2008 2:33:47 PM

Damn.

10/8/2008 2:35:28 PM

It would take away all the $ the gov't gets from selling it now. shhh.

j/k except in police departments I guess.

10/8/2008 2:36:57 PM

Quote :

"We gotta, like, innovate and shit."

this argument was so eloquent and thought provoking it's astounding

10/8/2008 2:58:32 PM

Microsoft Word: Letterz and shit, yo.

10/8/2008 3:07:48 PM