For the following scenarios:
- Stranger that you wronged
- Friend that you slighted
- Family member that you hurt
- Ex-girlfriend that you broke up with; mutual terms
- Ex-girlfriend that you broke up with; horrible terms, followed by semi-stalkerish behavior

10/16/2008 1:52:56 AM

life.

10/16/2008 1:53:35 AM

Oh ok. Cool.

10/16/2008 1:53:56 AM

- Forever
- Until (possibly even after) death

Applies to all scenarios.

10/16/2008 1:54:06 AM

Just wondering why my ex had a "you-ruined-my-life" face for all of yesterday night, despite the fact that she is way the fuck better off than me.

10/16/2008 1:56:07 AM

depends on the girl

grudges aren't usually worth the time and energy

but women have long memories, even if they've forgiven you

10/16/2008 1:56:43 AM

the thing i've noticed about women is they REALLY know how to hit you where it hurts...figuratively(like talking in a convo and they bring up something mean) and literally(hitting you in the balls)

10/16/2008 1:57:33 AM

for some of them never

for the last one up there

even 6 months after with a boyfriend of 5 months she still hasnt totally let go of it, although she is OVER it and me...she hasnt forgotten although she has forgiven me for it

10/16/2008 1:57:56 AM

^^^ Some would consider forgiveness incomplete without the forgetting part.

^^ My dad taught me how to avoid those deep cuts and emotionally cut down women.

^ I forgot what I was going to say to you, but you're smart. True. I could see that.

[Edited on October 16, 2008 at 2:00 AM. Reason : asdf]

10/16/2008 1:58:13 AM

until you stick it in her agian

10/16/2008 1:59:04 AM

nahhh i think you have to forgive eventually but you'll probably never forget


you forgive a person for punching you in the face and giving you a scar, but the scar means you never forget why its there

women are the same way.

not to mention depends on the eventd and how BAD of a thing you did

[Edited on October 16, 2008 at 2:00 AM. Reason : f]

10/16/2008 1:59:30 AM

^^haha...in a way, soooooo true

10/16/2008 1:59:45 AM

^^

10/16/2008 2:00:37 AM

but the thing to do, is prove that you have made changes and are a reputable person, it will take her a long time to get over it

go ahead and find someone else even if you dont want them just having them will help even if you still like the girl

if you make a change and show that the event that happened was a random unlucky event and that you werent in the right state of mind, that it wasnt someone or something you are proud of...then it helps and she will see the light.

but you really do have to change...and if you dont or dont want to or think you should change, maybe she really wasnt worth it in the end after all...maybe she was just someone to help show you what you didnt want and that you were with the wrong person...

[Edited on October 16, 2008 at 2:03 AM. Reason : g]

10/16/2008 2:02:33 AM

some girl got pissed off because i didnt remember what high school she went to

10/16/2008 2:03:56 AM

Quote :

"Some would consider forgiveness incomplete without the forgetting part."

well those "some" are being ridiculous

if someone really hurts you, it's best to keep that in mind in an effort of future self-preservation

you never truly forget if someone hurts you, that's just not how it goes

you can forgive someone for something horrible, but forgetting it completely is basically impossible

Quote :

"nahhh i think you have to forgive eventually but you'll probably never forget you forgive a person for punching you in the face and giving you a scar, but the scar means you never forget why its there"

Quote :

"not to mention depends on the eventd and how BAD of a thing you did"

Exactly.

10/16/2008 2:04:20 AM

did you give her herpes ?

10/16/2008 2:05:16 AM

^^^^ I could never be in a relationship with her again, but I would like to be friends with her once more.

^ No.

[Edited on October 16, 2008 at 2:05 AM. Reason : asdf]

10/16/2008 2:05:26 AM

definitely possible.

dont do anything stupid...but be you, be the person that you were when you met her and be carefree and easy...just drop the whole hurtful thing, be really nice to her and actually care about how she is and how things are, make sure she knows you are nice and happy and carefree but still sorry for your actions.


she will for sure be a friend, no doubt then...if you are genuine...although it will certainly take time.

10/16/2008 2:06:49 AM

Haha, word. I also have to make sure cddweller will let me have friends that are girls.

10/16/2008 2:07:35 AM

some girls mistake that for something else.


you're fucked either way. my motto is to burn bridges and move the fuck on.

10/16/2008 2:08:05 AM

^^^Don't apologize and whatnot too much, though, or she might think you're (desperately) trying to start up the old relationship again. Try to maintain a casual atmosphere.

Kinda depends on what you did in the first place, though.

[Edited on October 16, 2008 at 2:09 AM. Reason : .]

10/16/2008 2:09:31 AM

^^for what else? the fact that you are a good guy in the end and a good friend?

you mean they might want to date you again and see it as a way of you being a person that is fun and flirty?

then by all means do it, they will get over it that much faster and be friends again.

it has worked in most, if not all of my cases where i have burned bridges...even with the mutual breakup ones.

^yes, like i said make sure you are apologetic and genuine but dont be too desperate and clingy...get it out there tell her you are sorry and then be happy again, the whole depressive thing doesnt work at all, in fact it works against you.

people want what they cant have.

[Edited on October 16, 2008 at 2:12 AM. Reason : f]

[Edited on October 16, 2008 at 2:12 AM. Reason : v]

10/16/2008 2:10:59 AM

Quote :

"- Forever - Until (possibly even after) death Applies to all scenarios."

10/16/2008 2:13:42 AM

The relationship ended because I lied (by omission*) about my financial situation. Her parents didn't like the money scenario and she disliked my inability to be truthful.

The aftermath was far worse and to tell it on T-dub would mean losing respect by all of you anonymous people that I have worked so hard to attain.






* This has been considered absolutely not a lie by 100% of my guy friends and an absolute lie by 90% my lady friends. The remaining 10% of my lady friends told me it was not a lie and I'm still a great guy.

10/16/2008 2:17:55 AM

SPILL IT GIRLFRIEND

10/16/2008 2:19:39 AM

Quote :

"depends on the girl grudges aren't usually worth the time and energy but women have long memories, even if they've forgiven you"

That said, for me:
- Stranger that you wronged
Depends on what you did and what kind of mood I was already in
- Friend that you slighted
If it's a true friend who did it, it never becomes a grudge. I just overlook it
- Family member that you hurt
Depends on the family member
- Ex-girlfriend that you broke up with; mutual terms
n/a; my guess is similar to the a friend
- Ex-girlfriend that you broke up with; horrible terms, followed by semi-stalkerish behavior
n/a. I wouldn't hold a grudge because they'd be gone from my life completely

^^Oh, this is about that money debacle you posted a while ago?
Carry on, and don't be concerned about whether or not she's holding a grudge

[Edited on October 16, 2008 at 2:23 AM. Reason : ldjf]

10/16/2008 2:22:52 AM

What the fuck did her parents have to do with your financial situation, unless you were mooching off of her?

10/16/2008 2:22:54 AM

^ Haha, no. I was making more money waiting tables, than she was interning at Morgan Stanley.

[Edited on October 16, 2008 at 2:24 AM. Reason : adsf]

10/16/2008 2:23:13 AM

It's good you decided not to leave that.

[Edited on October 16, 2008 at 2:25 AM. Reason : .]

10/16/2008 2:24:13 AM

She was a "secretary" at Morgan Stanley in Greensboro making $10/hour (for her daddy). I was waiting tables at the Macaroni Grill in Cary, where (before the recession) you could make up to $20 an hour, usually about $12-15.

10/16/2008 2:25:44 AM

what recession

10/16/2008 2:30:22 AM

what recession

10/16/2008 2:30:22 AM

what recession

10/16/2008 2:30:22 AM

The recession of 2008. I've heard horror stories from some of friends that work at Mimi's Cafe.

10/16/2008 2:31:09 AM

lol

10/16/2008 2:31:12 AM

lol

10/16/2008 2:32:11 AM

Quote :

"* This has been considered absolutely not a lie by 100% of my guy friends and an absolute lie by 90% my lady friends. The remaining 10% of my lady friends told me it was not a lie and I'm still a great guy. "

An omission isn't a lie but it isn't being particularly truthful either. I guess it depends if the omission made a signficant change in the overall story.

Ex: You tell your girlfriend you're going out for drinks but don't tell her you're getting said drinks with another girl? Not a good idea.

You tell your girlfriend you're going out for drinks but don't tell her said drinks will be procured in Durham? If she gives a shit she's crazy.

10/16/2008 2:41:46 AM

Haha. My experience with her has taught me that half-truths are whole lies, but also that life's too short to deal with bitches. (especially if they territorialize an NC State club that you helped create)

10/16/2008 2:43:38 AM

lol well at least you know she's crazy.

10/16/2008 2:45:21 AM

was it the LARP club?

10/16/2008 2:46:07 AM

^I'd like to think that NC State doesn't even have one of those.

10/16/2008 2:47:18 AM

^^ Haha, I wish. NO! Nah, just NC State's improv club, which is something else in which I was too emotionally invested.

[Edited on October 16, 2008 at 2:48 AM. Reason : LARP]

10/16/2008 2:47:42 AM

small lies lead to big lies

thats exactly why i broke up with my last ex

she started lying to me about small things that i would have been cool with if she told me


but if i let her get away with that stuff then eventually she would make it bigger and bigger and try and get away with more

half truths are indeed lies.

10/16/2008 2:51:36 AM

I was just looking up LARPing on youtube

This shit is a pretty awesome costume:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mHl6QkC9__8&feature=related

10/16/2008 2:53:38 AM

Quote :

"you forgive a person for punching you in the face and giving you a scar, but the scar means you never forget why its there women are the same way."

Being a woman's like getting punched in the face.

10/16/2008 2:58:33 AM

FOR-EV-ER

10/16/2008 5:18:01 AM

So according to what JT3bucky is saying...it ain't worth the fucking effort. Just drop that bitch and move on.

10/16/2008 5:30:54 AM

Quote :

"EPIC TRIPLE POST"

to answer the OP:

As long as it can/will benefit them during a future disagreement.

10/16/2008 6:20:59 AM

life.

and they never really forgive you either. they just decide to tolerate the fact that whatever happened can't be changed.

10/16/2008 6:21:23 AM