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 Message Boards » » Sleeping with the Enemy (yes, TSB related) Page [1]  
LunaK
LOSER :(
23634 Posts
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Quote :
"When your mate is your political enemy

Election tension is boiling over; it seems like everyone from the office blowhard to the person in front of you at the post office is spouting off opinions that make your blood boil. But what happens when the one disagreeing with you shares your bedroom?
When your mate is your political enemy

Here are ten tips to help you make it to November 4 without resorting to the taser gun:

1. Assess the situation: While one of you might not care that much, the other might be eating, drinking, and sneezing the party line. Acknowledge who feels most strongly, who's just having fun, and whether or not thoughtful discourse is as likely as pigs (with or without lipstick!) flying.

2. Find common ground: Establish that you each are trying to do what you think is best to move this country forward. Maybe you can even agree on an issue or two, and join forces in talking about your mutual passion. (Note: this becomes less effective if you see eye-to-eye only about oatmeal tariffs.)

3. Establish boundaries: Maybe it's no political talk at the table or no ranting email forwards from Aunt Phyllis. You might even agree that you'll freeze discussion if one of you cries for mercy (a "safe" word is good for this: who knew that political arguments were so much like S & M?) Either way, ground rules are essential to keep things from getting ugly.

4. R-E-S-P-E-C-T: Now's the time to channel your inner Miss Manners. Offensive taunts, passive-aggressive digs and -- most certainly-- flying fondue pots are all out of the question.
Don't Miss

5. Don't overpersonalize: Your beloved is still, for the most part, who he always was. And the vast majority of those qualities have nothing to do with who gets his hanging chad in the voting booth.

6. Drive to distraction: Now is the time to take up cooking together, not to spend all night with Wolf Blitzer. Choose a classic movie over debate analysis and your 80s playlist over talk radio. And don't even think of bringing your guy to that fundraiser!

7. Find your outlet: If it helps you to hang out in partisan chat rooms all day, have at it. Just make sure you know the difference between blowing off steam and getting yourself worked up, or you're liable to be worse off than you started.

8. Keep it out of the bedroom: Say good night without politics-- unless, of course, the conflict adds some spice! But ixnay on the bouffant wig and red glasses.... as well as the Joe Biden undies.

9. Make an election night plan: Whether you'll be at viewing parties in opposite cities or side-by-side with earpieces and laptops, agree in advance whether you'll spend the evening, and morning, together. Avoid the potential pitfall of letting the night unfold spontaneously -- after all, one of you will be stewing while the other is squealing.

10. Do a reality check: For every couple engaged in a playful red-versus-blue showdown, there's another that must acknowledge red flags about opposing world views. Don't minimize what might be a larger problem of philosophical incompatibility-- or it could be a very long four years to come. "


http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/10/31/tf.romance.political.enemies/index.html

10/31/2008 10:07:11 AM

TKE-Teg
All American
43410 Posts
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one of my best friends is a staunch Obama supporter.

we just avoid talking politics.

10/31/2008 10:13:03 AM

God
All American
28747 Posts
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Quote :
"one of my best friends is a staunch Obama supporter.

we just avoid talking politics."

________
(--[ .]-[ .] /
(_____o__)

10/31/2008 10:13:57 AM

TULIPlovr
All American
3288 Posts
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I honestly cannot understand people in such 'mixed' marriages/relationships.

Political ideology is not something that exists in a vacuum and can be separated from other parts of you. It is an outgrowth of your general views about the world, human nature, and right and wrong. The political differences are minor in and of themselves, but any marriage with mixed politics will, 99% of the time (surely there's an exception somewhere) will be rocky terrain based on the other issues. Political differences only add to tension that already exists, and is not something that can be separated effectively from the rest of who a person is.

10/31/2008 10:31:55 AM

TKE-Teg
All American
43410 Posts
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agreed. if you're pretty far apart on most issues how the hell do you get along?

10/31/2008 10:43:59 AM

JCASHFAN
All American
13916 Posts
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its possible, not really sure how, but it is possible.

10/31/2008 11:04:05 AM

kwsmith2
All American
2696 Posts
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I couldn't have ever been in a relationship with someone who was socially conservative, at least on religous issues. On Law and Order issues I am probably much more moderate.

However, on economics I am much more moderate and for much of my life indentified with the GOP. I probably could have tolerated anyone along the spectrum, however, aside from a serious Marxist.

Most of the women I have dated though have been straight up liberals. Conservative women in the academy are pretty rare.

11/1/2008 12:05:46 PM

A Tanzarian
drip drip boom
10995 Posts
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11/1/2008 12:25:55 PM

GrumpyGOP
yovo yovo bonsoir
18191 Posts
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I have the crippling misfortune of being attracted almost exclusively to liberal women who can't engage in any sort of reasonable discussion of politics. It always ends up with me trying to explain my side and them doing one of the following:

1) Crying and storming off
2) Saying, "No, you're wrong. I don't care. You're wrong. You obviously could not be more wrong."
3) Presenting a rationale for their position that would seem stupid even by TWW standards.

So basically, I need to find a liberal woman who can debate well or a conservative woman who has a sense of humor. I'm sure both exist. Oh, and they also have to be willing to date an unemployed, overweight alcoholic.

[Edited on November 1, 2008 at 1:06 PM. Reason : ]

11/1/2008 1:06:15 PM

LunaK
LOSER :(
23634 Posts
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Quote :
"its possible, not really sure how, but it is possible."

11/1/2008 5:18:57 PM

ScubaSteve
All American
5523 Posts
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Solution: A rule that all in home political debates are nude

[Edited on November 1, 2008 at 8:45 PM. Reason : .]

11/1/2008 8:45:46 PM

Vix
All American
8522 Posts
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Quote :
"Political ideology is not something that exists in a vacuum and can be separated from other parts of you. It is an outgrowth of your general views about the world, human nature, and right and wrong."


I agree. Agreeing with someone politically is HOT.

11/2/2008 11:30:27 AM

Str8Foolish
All American
4852 Posts
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I don't really care if I agree with somebody or not. Given my profession, if I couldn't handle disagreeing with somebody, I'd have no friends in my field.

Besides if I had to pass up people who disagreed with me politically I'd have to give up hawt libertarians like Vix.

11/2/2008 11:34:26 AM

JCASHFAN
All American
13916 Posts
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Quote :
"Agreeing Arguing with someone politically is HOT."
Provided they're a competent debater who knows their subject well and can take criticism of their ideology as a critique of thought and not them specifically. My first girlfriend in High School turned me on when she disagreed with me on a political issue. Of course, now she is a lesbian, so there were deeper incompatibility, but so be it.

11/2/2008 11:36:08 AM

LunaK
LOSER :(
23634 Posts
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Quote :
"Solution: A rule that all in home political debates are nude "


11/2/2008 11:42:15 AM

radu
All American
1240 Posts
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Quote :
"Political ideology is not something that exists in a vacuum"


This is true, but neither do life, work, friendships, or relationships exist in a vacuum. I disagree with my fiance on probably 60-70% of all political issues, but its pretty easy to get past that. Especially when in truth, liberals and conservatives want mostly the same things, they just disagree about how to get them, and sometimes on which issues are more important.

Besides that - you're going to disagree with people on something - I'd much rather it be politics than, for example, the direction I'm taking my life. And if you agreed with everything all your friends and relations thought, life would probably suck anyway.

11/2/2008 8:22:19 PM

JCASHFAN
All American
13916 Posts
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Quote :
"liberals and conservatives want mostly the same things, they just disagree about how to get them, and sometimes on which issues are more important."

11/2/2008 9:52:51 PM

AndyMac
All American
31922 Posts
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11/2/2008 10:13:52 PM

DirtyGreek
All American
29309 Posts
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Quote :
"liberals and conservatives want mostly the same things, they just disagree about how to get them, and sometimes on which issues are more important"


I think that's pretty far from true, especially when you consider issues like abortion, welfare, ANWR, global warming, evolution, taxes, and... pretty much everything else. If that quote means that liberals and conservatives mostly want the same things for themselves (money, love, happiness), then... yeah. But that's a pretty pointless statement. Most people want things for more than just themselves. Well, not conservatives... kidding!

For instance, wildlife protection. That's in no way something I want for my own good... it would take a long time for the entire ecology of the planet to collapse if the endangered species numbers went up a huge amount, and my life would continue on normally. I'd still have a job and a wife and a family and a house. However, it's still very important to me - critically so.

11/3/2008 12:06:11 AM

hooksaw
All American
16500 Posts
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11/3/2008 2:03:02 AM

AndyMac
All American
31922 Posts
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Are you saying that Gollum is a Republican, and that James Carville is sleeping with him?

11/3/2008 2:05:46 AM

radu
All American
1240 Posts
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Quote :
"abortion, welfare, ANWR, global warming, evolution, taxes"


Abortion - liberals and conservatives want the rights of life and liberty to be respected.
Welfare - liberals and conservatives want to eliminate poverty
ANWR/Global Warming - liberals and conservatives want energy and a healthy environment
Evolution - other than a couple like abortion, i hate most social issues and continue to ignore them.
Taxes - liberals and conservatives agree that taxation is a necessary evil. the root of most arguments is about who should perform a service - government or private sector - not about whether the service should be provided.

11/3/2008 3:36:59 PM

joe_schmoe
All American
18758 Posts
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Quote :
"GrumpyGOP: I have the crippling misfortune of being attracted almost exclusively to liberal women who can't engage in any sort of reasonable discussion of politics."


because you obviously have an inferiority complex and are scared of women -- so you consciously choose women who are intellectual midgets, as sort of your own personal strawman to knock around.

maybe you should actually try to date a woman who has some capability for informed debate, whether she be conservative or liberal or moderate.



Quote :
"Are you saying that Gollum is a Republican"


i believe that's a given.










[Edited on November 3, 2008 at 5:20 PM. Reason : ]

11/3/2008 5:17:04 PM

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