[Edited on November 12, 2008 at 1:36 PM. Reason : ]

11/12/2008 1:35:58 PM

that's not how tags work, buddy.

11/12/2008 1:36:17 PM

u r doin it rong

11/12/2008 1:36:43 PM

oops. i'm so white.

11/12/2008 1:37:09 PM

I DON'T KNOW IF ANY OF YOU HAVE BEEN TO THE HARDEES IN LILLINGTON, BUT THAT PLACE HAS A HISTORY OF RHEE RHEE'S.

THEY HAVE INDUSTRIAL STYLE TOILETS THAT HAVE NO RESERVOIR ON THE BACK AND NO TOILET LID, JUST A MOVABLE TOILET SEAT. FOR THE PLUMBING THERE'S JUST A PIPE COMING OUT OF THE WALL WHICH MAKES A 90 DEGREE BEND AND GOES INTO THE BACK PART OF THE TOILET. AT THE 90 DEGREE BEND THERE'S A FITTING WITH A HANDLE ON IT TO FLUSH THE TOILET. I'M SURE YOU'VE ALL SEEN THESE TOILETS. IN CASE YOU STILL CAN'T IMAGINE IT, THIS IS WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE:



WELL, I ONCE WENT IN THAT HARDEES TO FIND THE WORST INDUSTRIAL ACCIDENT I'VE EVER SEEN TO BE HONEST.

I TRIED TO RECREATE THE ACCIDENT SCENE THE BEST I COULD AND I CAME UP WITH THE FOLLOWING SCENARIO. A 275LB MALE CONSTRUCTION WORKER HAD EATEN TWO PHILLY CHEESE STEAKS THE NIGHT BEFORE. HE WAS ON HIS WAY TO WORK WHEN HE REALIZED HE HAD RHEE RHEE. HE STOPPED AT THE HARDEES AND RAN IN, HEADING STRAIGHT FOR THE BATHROOM. HE RAN INTO THE BATHROOM AND BURST INTO THE STALL, VIOLENTLY STRUGGLING TO RELEASE HIS BELT, BUTTON AND FLY BEFORE HE HEAVILY LOOSE PILED HIMSELF. HE HAD TROUBLE WITH THE BELT AND THE BUTTON, WHICH LOST HIM HIS LAST PRECIOUS SECONDS.

AS HE GOT HIS PANTS DOWN HE SIMULTANEOUSLY TRIED TO SIT DOWN AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE. THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ONE SWIFT MOTION, WHICH WOULD HOPEFULLY END UP WITH THE LOOSE PILE IN THE TOILET. UNFORTUNATELY THE BELT HAD COST HIM TOO MUCH TIME AND AS HE BENT FORWARD TO SIT DOWN HE HAD WHAT I REFER TO AS A "LONG POP FART." THIS CAUSED AN IMMEDIATE BLOWOUT OF LOOSE PILE RHEE ALL OVER THE WALL, FLOOR AND PLUMBING OF THE TOILET.

HE WAS SURPRISED WITH THE FEROCITY OF THE LONG POP AND AFTER FEELING IT OUT FOR A MOMENT HE REALIZED ALL OF THE RHEE WAS GONE. SINCE HE WAS NOW FINISHED DUMPING LOOSE PILE, HE SIMPLY WIPED HIS ASS AND LEFT THE BATHROOM THAT WAY. THE HARDEES EMPLOYEES REFUSED TO CLEAN IT BECAUSE OF THEIR LOW WAGES AND LAST I HEARD THEY HAD TO CALL IN Arab13 TO HANDLE IT.

11/12/2008 1:37:29 PM

obligatory LOL WUT

11/12/2008 4:02:51 PM