I read in the newspaper today that they are writing the last batman comic...
He doesn't die, but is so shaken up by a deep, dark secret from his past that he decides to quit being Batman..
http://www.usatoday.com/life/books/news/2008-11-17-batman-gaiman_N.htm

I wonder what the big secret is?

11/18/2008 3:56:13 PM

Turns out Robin is a gaiman.

[Edited on November 18, 2008 at 3:59 PM. Reason : .]

11/18/2008 3:59:17 PM

I heard from an inside source that Batman is actually Bruce Wayne. Hopefully we'll find out in the last comic who he really is.

11/18/2008 4:05:37 PM

He finds out it was Alfred who murdered his parents.

11/18/2008 4:24:22 PM

he finds out that he was actually adopted and his dad is a used car salesman in topeka.

11/18/2008 4:25:31 PM

Turns out he was actually born a left-handed girl, but his parents couldn't live with that and had a sex change done and beat him into using his right hand.

11/18/2008 4:29:09 PM

He finds out he's actually The Joker, Commissioner Gordon, and Batman, because he has been suffering from schizophrenia and multiple personality disorder all along.

/Adaptation

11/18/2008 4:30:52 PM

he finds out his creator has run out of good material.

11/18/2008 4:35:25 PM

Turns out it's man!

/futurama

11/18/2008 4:36:10 PM

Turns out Thomas Wayne had Martha killed after he got her addicted to heroin and found out she was fucking Alfred.

He had Martha killed and faked his own death in front of Bruce.

Bruce is also Alfred and Martha's love child.

11/18/2008 4:41:12 PM

^Simpsons did it.

11/18/2008 4:55:38 PM

[Edited on November 18, 2008 at 6:37 PM. Reason : ?]

11/18/2008 6:36:25 PM

He's actually a clone of Peter Parker, or possibly the son of Scott Summers and and alternate Jean Grey from the future.

Oh, wait, those were Marve's stupid fucking plot devices.

11/18/2008 7:13:09 PM

It turns out Bruce Wayne has a twin that only he knows about and they take turns trading identities between Batman and Bruce.

Also the Joker never breaks out of Gotham Asylum because he has a cloning machine and the clones were the ones always getting caught.

11/18/2008 8:22:56 PM

I'm Batman.

11/18/2008 10:22:05 PM

he finds nothing out, but it is revealed to the readers the whole world of batman is just envisioned by an autistic boy while looking into a snow globe of NYC

11/19/2008 1:09:24 AM

im not in the mood to come up with something witty so ill just throw this idea out to the wolves:

the matrix

11/19/2008 7:52:16 AM

he finds out that the mugger who killed his parents was actually a future version of himself hoping to ensure he became batman


(yes, i stole this from terminator)

11/19/2008 9:39:44 AM

Quote :

"He's actually a clone of Peter Parker, or possibly the son of Scott Summers and and alternate Jean Grey from the future. Oh, wait, those were Marve's stupid fucking plot devices."

Could be worse. Batman could get married, then reveal his identity to the world after people decide super heroes need to register themselves with the government, then choose a side in this giant fight between super heroes over whether or not the registration is moral, then have his ancient aunt get put into a coma by a sniper bullet, then decide to sacrifice his marriage and happiness to the devil so that said aunt can continue to live and so that nobody will remember his unmasking.

Did I miss anything?

11/19/2008 10:22:25 AM

he is Keyser Soze

11/19/2008 10:27:41 AM

He discovers that [whoever killed his parents] is actually his REAL parents.

11/20/2008 12:17:31 AM

He's actually nothing more than a figment of an Aspergers child's imagination.

[Edited on November 20, 2008 at 12:53 AM. Reason : oh, and gotham city is just inside a snow globe]

11/20/2008 12:53:26 AM

Batman

11/21/2008 2:20:31 PM

11/21/2008 5:45:52 PM

****SPOLIER****

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/arts_and_culture/7753966.stm

I predict this lasts about 10 issues

11/29/2008 2:41:35 AM

Quote :

"he finds nothing out, but it is revealed to the readers the whole world of batman is just envisioned by an autistic boy while looking into a snow globe of NYC"

That was one of the strangest endings to an otherwise fairly realistic show ever.

11/29/2008 3:25:33 PM

Quote :

"It turns out Bruce Wayne has a twin that only he knows about and they take turns trading identities between Batman and Bruce. Also the Joker never breaks out of Gotham Asylum because he has a cloning machine and the clones were the ones always getting caught."

what you did there, i see it

11/30/2008 12:57:30 AM

It turns out that this is a story written by Bruce Wayne to sell to Stan Lee.

11/30/2008 1:16:36 AM

Quote :

"Last year, Captain America was killed after being shot by a sniper in New York. "

11/30/2008 3:18:40 AM

Seriously, this is the dumbest shit in the history of the planet. Remember pet rocks? This is dumber than that.

11/30/2008 10:30:34 AM

It turns out that batman is a comic book character that no longer has cultural relevance except on film, and all the nerds are too busy playing world of warcraft to read comic books.

11/30/2008 10:45:07 AM

WORST

ENDING

EVER

11/30/2008 7:38:09 PM

They're trying to gather the attention that Captain America got 2 years ago when he got picked off by a sniper.

12/1/2008 1:52:37 AM

this is .... carlface

12/1/2008 1:59:28 AM

Quote :

"They're trying to gather the attention that Captain America got 2 years ago when he got picked off by a sniper."

or when dc themselves killed superman in the 90s

or when they killed the jason todd robin in the 80s in a call-in vote

rinse lather repeat

12/1/2008 1:34:30 PM

Quote :

"or when they killed the jason todd robin in the 80s in a call-in vote"

That's pretty much the best character killer ever, especially since he never came back (that I know of)

12/1/2008 1:35:38 PM

Jason Todd was resurrected as the second Red Hood a few years back. Still alive.
And the "sniper killed Cap" thing is debatable. I think the entire point of the death was that Sharon did it.

12/1/2008 3:46:11 PM