The idea of this exercise is to find two similar movies that you simply cannot compare in their cinematic awfulness.

I'll start.

Which Jerry Bruckheimer production was worse, Armageddon (1998) or Pearl Harbor (2001)?

12/23/2008 5:13:16 PM

I'm gonna say Pearl Harbor was much, much worser.

NEXT:

Which Nic Cage movie was more awfuler:

8MM (1999) or Ghost Rider (2007)

12/23/2008 5:22:29 PM

Pearl Harbor, and Ghostrider



John Travolta:

Battlefield Earth (2000) or Wild Hogs (2007)?

[Edited on December 23, 2008 at 5:23 PM. Reason : .]

12/23/2008 5:22:36 PM

I didn't think 8mm was that bad, that scene in the end with machine was pretty freaky

12/23/2008 5:53:03 PM

Battlefield earth

12/23/2008 5:57:34 PM

armageddon is an incredibly fun movie, not good, but fun
it doesn't deserve being compared questionably to pearl harbor

and what the fuck is wrong with 8mm?

12/23/2008 6:13:45 PM

yeah, 8 mm wasn't great by any means, but its not awful, if you wanna compare terrible Cage movies i'd say Ghostrider and Next

12/23/2008 7:18:33 PM

ghostrider, next, wicker man

12/23/2008 7:39:44 PM

next was good

12/23/2008 8:15:35 PM

which shamamammalan movie was worse, lady in the water or the happening

(this will prob be tough b/c nobody saw either one)

12/23/2008 8:24:28 PM

^^haha.

I like jokes too. you are funny.

12/23/2008 11:30:32 PM

Quote :

"which shamamammalan movie was worse, lady in the water or the happening (this will prob be tough b/c nobody saw either one)"

Correct, I didn't see either.

Which Knight movie was worse - Black Knight (Martin Lawrence) or A Knight's Tale (Heath Ledger)?

12/23/2008 11:33:49 PM

I have my unholy trinity of shittyness


Van Helsing, Transformers, Indiana Jones and the Crystal Shit

^ havent seen either

[Edited on December 23, 2008 at 11:40 PM. Reason : d]

12/23/2008 11:38:25 PM

i've always thought A Knight's Tale wasn't bad.

btw, I noticed Nicholas Cage was mentioned, and not ALL of his movies were mentioned for the toilet besides Raising Arizona. OK, and Valley Girl ("Fuck off for sure!") Seriously, most overrated actor of the last 20 years.

12/23/2008 11:43:33 PM

^^^Black Knight

^^Easy, Indiana Jones.

The Day the Earth Stood Still or Matrix 3?

[Edited on December 23, 2008 at 11:45 PM. Reason : lkj]

12/23/2008 11:45:16 PM

The Phantom Menace / Attack of the Clones / Revenge of the Sith

12/23/2008 11:47:47 PM

i dont know why people didnt like next, maybe its cause you paid $10 to see it,
i saw it for free and i really liked it,

12/23/2008 11:52:51 PM

^i paid nothing to see next, and i watch (and often enjoy) a LOT of shitty movies, but Next was beyond terrible, it wasn't so bad its good, it was just so fucking bad.

Quote :

"I have my unholy trinity of shittyness Van Helsing, Transformers, Indiana Jones and the Crystal Shit"

Van Helsing was fucking ungodly bad, transformers had some shitty parts, but it had a few parts that were cool to look at and overall wasn't all that bad (not to say that it was all that good either), haven't seen Indy yet.

Quote :

"Which Knight movie was worse - Black Knight (Martin Lawrence) or A Knight's Tale (Heath Ledger)?"

black knight is pretty terrible, a knights tale isn't good, but it is very watchable

12/24/2008 1:19:09 AM

I'm sorry, you cannot reasonably talk awful Nick Cage and put 8MM in there instead of The Wicker Man.

12/24/2008 1:22:02 AM

^yeah, that is another viable option, but as i said earlier, Next is much worse than either (if only for the ungodly ridiculous wig, and if thats not enough then there is the "plot"),

12/24/2008 1:29:37 AM

See, you guys are picking movies that someone, somewhere, MIGHT say has a redeemable quality. We need to move this from bad to truly abominable:

Worst Hulk Hogan movie: Suburban Commando or Mr. Nanny?

12/24/2008 1:37:20 AM

HOW'D IT GET BURNED? HOWDITGETBURNEDHOWDITGETBURNEDHOWDITGETBURNED!!!

killing me won't bring back yer gd hunny

12/24/2008 1:37:57 AM

nic cage is overrated?

I've never heard anyone say anything good about him.

I like him though, he just seems to take every fucking role he gets offered, he's like a better Samuel L. Jackson that doesn't yell.

Quote :

"btw, I noticed Nicholas Cage was mentioned, and not ALL of his movies were mentioned for the toilet besides Raising Arizona. OK, and Valley Girl ("Fuck off for sure!") Seriously, most overrated actor of the last 20 years."

Adaptation.
8MM
Lord of War
Wild at Heart
Face/off

etc

Quote :

"i dont know why people didnt like next, maybe its cause you paid $10 to see it, i saw it for free and i really liked it,"

I saw it for free as well. I'm just not that into masochism.

[Edited on December 24, 2008 at 3:48 AM. Reason : .]

12/24/2008 3:37:34 AM

^^^ Mr. Nanny

I enjoy suburban commando. It's terrible, but I like it.

Deep Impact (1998) or The Day After Tomorrow (2004)?

12/24/2008 6:06:38 AM

The Day After Tomorrow.

Now for the battle of why George Lucas needs to die.

Star Wars Episode I or Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull?

12/24/2008 7:17:28 AM

I am all for Nic Cage bashing, but the man did do Leaving Las Vegas which is an excellent movie. depressing as hell, but very good.

Worst for me, this year anyway, has been The Happening. what a poop fest.

12/24/2008 9:51:04 AM

Raising Arizona is up there on my list. Adaptation and Leaving Las Vegas were excelent as well. He just fucking latches on to anything thrown at him, decent or shit.

12/24/2008 10:37:51 AM

I'm adding this one for tomorrow:

Worse(r) superhero movie, The Spirit (2008) or Captain America (1990)?

12/24/2008 11:56:38 AM

Lord of War was pretty good.

12/24/2008 1:31:11 PM

what was that retarded ass fake WWII movie nick cage did.

12/24/2008 2:04:27 PM

Eh...I don't see how you could describe it as a fake WWII movie.

He was pretty much a guns dealer in the modern era.

12/24/2008 2:06:18 PM

lord of war was a WWII movie?

12/24/2008 2:32:54 PM

Are we confusing Lord of War with Captain Correlli's Violin?

12/24/2008 2:38:06 PM

Oh man, I forgot about Windtalkers.

And City of Angels pissed me off just because it was a completely botched remake of a great Wim Wenders film.

12/24/2008 3:15:02 PM

Which Halle Berry superhero is worse: Catwoman or Storm?

12/24/2008 3:24:32 PM

I didn't mind Storm as much, I just wonder what happened to her accent after the first movie.

12/24/2008 3:32:45 PM

I mean, I like the X Men movies and Catwoman was really awful. But I just can't get over that white wig

12/24/2008 3:45:46 PM

Catwoman. I mean, her performance as Storm at least sort of had something to do with the actual character. That Catwoman movie had fuck ass shit to do with the character of Selena Kyle.

Worst fake martial arts movie: Surf Ninjas or Beverly Hills Ninja?

12/24/2008 8:58:26 PM

Worse Video Game Movie? Streetfighter, Wing Commando or Double Dragon.

12/26/2008 10:41:06 AM

^^Surf Ninjas
^Too tuff to choose

Worse superhero sequel: Spiderman 3 or Superman 3?

12/26/2008 11:38:19 AM

^^how could you not throw Mario Bros. THE MOVIE into that equation?

^I'm gonna go with Supes 3, cause Spidey 3 wasn't terrible.


NEW QUESTION (with an added twist):

Worser Denzel movie:

American Gangster, Remember the Titans, Man on Fire....all greats, but you have to pick the worst.

12/26/2008 11:59:52 AM

trick question

Denzel isn't in bad movies and they are all badass

[Edited on December 26, 2008 at 12:55 PM. Reason : yo]

12/26/2008 12:54:15 PM

^ Remember the Titans.

I love me some Denzel, but if I want an inspirational sports movie, I want a twist on it. Not the same shit over and over again. Give me a surprise. Like the time I was in the community clinic and they had a christian inspirational football movie on, and Mark Richt showed up at the end.

Worse(r) movie:
Hancock or I Am Legend

12/26/2008 12:58:41 PM

I am legend was bad. Never saw the other.

I'm glad I haven't paid to see a bad movie since the day after tomorrow, though. Since then I use metacritic before I see anything.

12/26/2008 2:09:53 PM

both hancock and I am Legend are awful, but Hancock is FUCKING awful.

12/26/2008 4:26:14 PM

look, hancock is pretty terrible BUT

a) he throws a swedish kid into the stratosphere
2) some dude calls him Handjob

that right there makes it worth watching to me

[Edited on December 26, 2008 at 6:46 PM. Reason : see also: Charlize Theron, DO WANT]

12/26/2008 6:45:44 PM

Little Nicky or Mr. Deeds

Pearl Harbor or Flyboys

Plan 9 from Outer Space or Southland Tales

12/27/2008 1:20:59 AM

Little Nicky

12/27/2008 1:24:23 AM

Quote :

"Worse Video Game Movie? Streetfighter, Wing Commando or Double Dragon."

all of those and SMB looks like oscar worthy performances compared to House of the Dead. it is consistently in the top 10 worst movies of all time (maybe top 100, but its pretty fucking terrible).

for reference, imdb scores:

streetfighter: 3.1
wing commander: 3.6
double dragon: 3.1
SMB: 3.7
house of the dead: 2.0

or how about some rotten tomatoes:

streetfighter: 15%
wing commander: 9%
double dragon: 0% (only 5 ratings though, which speaks volumes i guess)
SMB: 6%
house of the dead:4%

all gems though.

12/27/2008 11:07:13 AM

Quote :

"The Day the Earth Stood Still or Matrix 3?"

The Matrix Revolutions...The Day didnt disappoint, as I knew it wasnt going to be good.

12/27/2008 3:14:59 PM