I'm doing three for my immediate family. Two down, and I have already included:

a dildo
a hovercraft
nudity
instructions for assassinating Zac Efron with an assault rifle
the phrase "hobo dick cheese"

My third card is going to include an enormous amount of racism.

To give you some idea, the last Mother's Day card I handed to my mom was a Hallmark card inside which I wrote, "Thank you for not drowning us in the bathtub like that crazy lady in Texas, love, your son"

12/25/2008 1:40:16 AM

are you giving your sister a picture of your junk you sick fuck?

12/25/2008 1:44:11 AM

No sister, as it happens. And my mom is getting the racist card, not the dildo/nudity card.

12/25/2008 1:45:44 AM

well there goes my "well you can give your sister a picture of my junk" joke

12/25/2008 1:47:28 AM

you can give your mom a picture of my junk

12/25/2008 1:48:36 AM

Look, I'm doing all these in pencil drawings, so if you guys want me to doodle in some schlongs I guess I can do that. But it really doesn't fit well with my "You're a horrible racist" theme.

12/25/2008 1:51:16 AM

make them black dongs

12/25/2008 1:55:21 AM

^

12/25/2008 1:56:23 AM

No no no, the black guy is busy smoking crack.

Actually, all I've got left are the Chinese, and I doubt anybody wants me to draw them as being hung like an asian

12/25/2008 1:58:44 AM

well this thread is a total letdown

12/25/2008 2:04:35 AM

i support you in this endeavor

12/25/2008 2:40:02 AM