I need someone to come and keep my scrote warm for me. I need both hands to work, so I can't do it myself. A ball warmer, if you will.
Feel free to use any approved method of warming, I.e., breathing warm air on my scrote, cradling my scrote, massaging my scrote, etc....
I attempted to grow a sack beard for warmth, but it just doesn't work as well as I had hoped.

Those with cold hands need not apply.

1/16/2009 9:05:48 AM

Quote :

"Those with cold hands need not apply."

So you're saying you want a dude to do this?

1/16/2009 9:07:02 AM

Quote :

" CRADLING MY SCROTE "

1/16/2009 9:08:10 AM

just disregard the name
http://www.crunchgear.com/2009/01/13/thanko-rolls-out-usb-boob-warmer/

Quote :

"If you needed just one more piece of evidence that makes you convinced that Thanko is one of the most fantastic gadget makers around, here it is. The Tokyo-based company today announced a USB boob warmer [JP], believe it or not. What you get for $22 is essentially a pair of “bust pads” that can keep you constantly warm via a USB connection (it’s not yet listed in their English online shop, however)."

1/16/2009 9:08:48 AM

YES, THAT'S THE EXACT MESSAGE THAT I MEANT TO CONVEY WITH THAT STATEMENT.


man, get the hell outta here.

1/16/2009 9:08:53 AM

oh shit, emce is pissed

1/16/2009 9:10:41 AM

just sayin'. pretty much every female has cold hands/feet

1/16/2009 9:11:56 AM

If there is anyone that can knit, I suppose a testicle "glove" would also suit my needs. Please avoid material that itches or chafes

1/16/2009 9:13:01 AM

I can crochet a lot faster.

1/16/2009 9:16:26 AM

didn't you make a thread about ball condoms which then turned into a thread about a knitted ball condom that would act as a ball warmer a couple of years ago

1/16/2009 9:18:57 AM

that was Amsterdam, B

and Errrka, crochet you say?

1/16/2009 9:28:45 AM

I think a ball condom would work well in this situation.

1/16/2009 9:29:35 AM

Seems like it'd be more of a mitten.

1/16/2009 9:31:09 AM

would a modified banana hammock work?

1/16/2009 9:32:56 AM

a banana hammock lined with a layer of wool, then a layer of silk, would be ideal.

1/16/2009 9:34:27 AM

1/16/2009 9:35:29 AM

Yes I can crochet and knit. But like I said, I can crochet faster.

1/16/2009 9:36:32 AM

i think an ideal sack warmer would allow free movement of the goods

don't you?

1/16/2009 9:36:59 AM

I need a fabric that will draw away excess moisture, if @'m going to go this route.

I still think I would prefer a lady perched 2 inches away from my balls going "HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH"

1/16/2009 9:38:30 AM

1/16/2009 9:38:47 AM

I still think I would prefer a lady with my balls in her mouth. Sure way to keep them warm. Movement will be hindered, but I can make that sacrifice. I'm that much of a man.

1/16/2009 9:40:44 AM

^ i think my methods are more cost effective. for you anyway..i dunno about EMCE

1/16/2009 9:41:56 AM

I'm just scared of the risk of electric shock, or an overheated coil.
Plus, a blowdryer is just so damn inpersonal. I guess I would want someone to hold a degree of accountability with my knots.

[Edited on January 16, 2009 at 9:45 AM. Reason : .]

1/16/2009 9:44:06 AM

just use a layer of 100% polyester to wick away the moisture, then a layer of insulation and an outer layer, you'd need a loop to fit over the penis and something firm in the front to hold it in place on the sack

1/16/2009 9:47:33 AM

sounds like a very intricate contraption. Maybe I can get corporate sponsorship for production purposes.
But then again, I don't know if I would want a ROCAWEAR label on my junk.

1/16/2009 9:50:21 AM

Maybe BabyPhat?

Send me a plane ticket and I'll come and HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH all over your junk.

1/16/2009 9:52:24 AM

lol, I <3 you Erica

1/16/2009 9:54:15 AM

1/16/2009 9:57:21 AM

ttt, B

this frigid air is taking a toll on my knots. let's brainstorm here...

1/16/2009 12:52:42 PM

[Edited on January 16, 2009 at 1:11 PM. Reason : That looks a bit small...]

1/16/2009 1:10:59 PM

I can see Eagles fans of Asian descent screaming this in AZ on Sunday.

1/16/2009 1:11:47 PM