4/18/2009 10:12:06 PM

4/18/2009 10:15:32 PM

10/10

4/18/2009 10:22:15 PM

it went away?

4/18/2009 10:26:30 PM

Quote :

"Finger-Banging "In a modern world that is littered with strap-on dildos, Sex and the City reruns on four channels at any given time, male purses and all sorts of other quasi-gay European garbage, finger-banging has become an increasingly important act as males seek to reassert themselves sexually. If you recall, somewhere in your sordid sexual past you probably courted a young seductress who insisted on “saving” herself for some special creep who was much older, had more facial hair and was much more abusive than you were at the time. Naturally, since you knew that your forlorn member was never going to penetrate that invisible glass casing that seemed to surround her nubile snack-piece, you were left with no choice but to “finger-bang” your frustrations away or simulate traditional penile penetration with your fingers. Today, more and more people are finding that the same finger-banging done out of dire necessity in days of youth is also effective now as another tool in the sexual repertoire. It should be clearly noted that “finger-banging’” is something quite different than “fingering,” which is something married square-dancers and Christian home-school teachers practice — this is full on banging with all the velocity and burning sexual frustration of a starving jackal in heat. When finger-banging, it is important to treat the act every bit as seriously as normal penis in vagina (PIV) intercourse. So just as in PIV intercourse, it is often advantageous to change positions intermittently when finger-banging, even altering your speed and strength of penetration. One particularly effective move is to place your good lady in the doggie position to begin the finger-banging. While at first she may appear to be a lost and confused, she will soon understand the method to your madness (this method proves especially effective when a large ass is present to provide proper padding as you bang away at your partners love nest, quickly establishing your male prowess in the bedroom). As an added bonus, the finger-bang is an especially effective tool to stall for time when a night of whiskey has turned your once trusty Longfellow into a belligerent Bukowski. For a guaranteed return visit, try the finger-bang on the first date and you’ll solidify your reputation as a creep that is worth a drunken phone-call for casual unprotected sex. Via Berzerko.org"

4/18/2009 10:31:43 PM

i'm still confused about why men enjoy that

4/18/2009 10:33:44 PM

^Because nothing gets a (straight) man off faster than watching a woman get off.

4/18/2009 11:01:45 PM

Dammit aph319.

4/18/2009 11:02:24 PM

I always thought the penis went in where urine came out

4/18/2009 11:04:49 PM

Quote :

"^Because nothing gets a (straight) man off faster than watching a woman get off."

You're doing something wrong.

4/18/2009 11:48:43 PM

I, too, used to finger bang mary jane rottencrotch.

4/18/2009 11:49:34 PM

was that pic taken in pbs?

4/19/2009 6:09:15 AM

Quote :

"i'm still confused about why men enjoy that"

wat

4/19/2009 8:31:31 AM

Is that Todd Crisco?

4/19/2009 8:42:46 AM

Quote :

"As an added bonus, the finger-bang is an especially effective tool to stall for time when a night of whiskey has turned your once trusty Longfellow into a belligerent Bukowski."

hahahah

4/19/2009 9:12:21 AM

^^ haha holy shit how do you know todd

[Edited on April 19, 2009 at 9:13 AM. Reason : gg]

4/19/2009 9:13:22 AM

I thought everyone knew the local coke fiends lolz

4/19/2009 9:22:26 AM

I love a good finger bang.


Feels better than sex sometimes 'cause the finger can hit the g-spot like whoa.

4/19/2009 1:58:50 PM

Quote :

"^Because nothing gets a (straight) man off faster than watching a woman get off."

Hahaha who cares if they get off

4/19/2009 2:00:18 PM

Quote :

"^Because nothing gets a (straight) man off faster than watching a woman get off."

i'll agree with umbrellaman on this one

4/19/2009 2:15:15 PM

Quote :

"Hahaha who cares if they get off"

don't knock it till you've tried it

4/19/2009 7:28:52 PM

Quote :

"was that pic taken in pbs? "

i thought the same thing lol

4/19/2009 8:20:43 PM

Quote :

"I always thought the penis went in where urine came out"

Ashtray: Oooh, girl, you so tight!
Dashiki: Wrong hole, fool!

4/19/2009 9:19:26 PM

4/20/2009 12:53:10 AM

Quote : Quote : "was that pic taken in pbs?"

"i thought the same thing lol"

Definitely looks like something you'd see there.

4/20/2009 12:58:28 AM

Yeah, I just kinda, found it on Google Images

4/20/2009 12:59:34 AM

^ why were you googling fingerbanging pictures?

4/20/2009 1:02:04 AM

ITS COMPLICATED OKAY

4/20/2009 1:02:35 AM

haha called you out...

4/20/2009 1:10:40 AM

Consider yourself officially called out you faggot

4/20/2009 1:11:09 AM

Quote :

"remember the finger bang phase?"

When was said phase?

4/20/2009 1:13:03 AM

This thread doesn't make much sense since the other parodies have died

4/20/2009 1:17:09 AM