2009 LIONS SCHEDULE

September
13................Taft Junior High School
20................Cub Scout Troop #101
27.................Detroit Blind Academy

October
04.................Spanish American War Vets
11................Crippled Children's Home
18.................Eloise Mental Hospital
25................Girl Scout Troop # 353

November
01..................Michigan Venereal Disease Clinic
08..................Fraser Boys Choir
15.................Korean Amputees
22..................National Hospital Pastoral Ministers
26..................Great Lakes Synchronized Swimming Team


SPECIAL MONDAY NIGHT GAME
December 08..................Grand Rapids Gay Boys Club


RULE CHANGES FROM LAST YEAR **


1 - When playing polio patients, the Lions must not disconnect knee braces.
2 - When playing the Blind Academy, the Lions must not hide the football under their jerseys.

** RULES THE SAME FROM LAST YEAR **


1 - A touchdown (this is when the ball is carried over the goal line. For all you Lions fans that have never seen this) it is still worth 6 points.
2 - The Lions will be allowed 20 men on the field at all times.
3 - The Lions will be allowed to substitute with band members at anytime.
4 - The Lions will be awarded 10 timeouts as opposed to 3 for the opposing team.
5 - The Lions will be awarded a first down with each gain of three yards or more, instead of the usual ten yards.


** NAME CHANGE **

The Detroit Lions will be changed to the "Detroit Tampons" as they are only good for one period and have no second string.

4/27/2009 1:20:41 PM

ibtmtcc

4/27/2009 1:21:48 PM

unfunny

4/27/2009 1:28:07 PM

but relevant

4/27/2009 1:39:18 PM

Attn users with <8057 posts



[Edited on April 27, 2009 at 1:48 PM. Reason : Dammit stop posting...can't keep up with the count]

4/27/2009 1:47:11 PM

yes the OP is in a joking matter, but this shit is the official thread for these guys.

4/27/2009 1:48:31 PM

playoffs here we come

4/27/2009 2:42:56 PM

New logo, new team

4/27/2009 2:50:32 PM

suck again

4/27/2009 4:05:58 PM

chit chat material

4/27/2009 4:07:15 PM

a lot of effort for a lot of suck

4/27/2009 6:51:53 PM

Quote :

"COPY AND PASTE"

4/28/2009 12:21:14 AM

Quote :

"The Detroit Lions will be changed to the "Detroit Tampons" as they are only good for one period and have no second string."

There's a reason this works on hockey teams but nobody else uses it on footballs teams

4/28/2009 12:08:17 PM

Yeah, there's no such thing as a "second string" in football.

4/28/2009 2:31:28 PM

^ever watched a preseason game?

4/28/2009 2:34:32 PM

^ever get your sarcasm meter checked?

4/29/2009 11:35:04 AM

4/29/2009 10:49:28 PM

What a very unbalanced schedule. I'm guessing this is one of those leagues where the championship game is determined by votes?

4/29/2009 11:01:15 PM

lol

4/29/2009 11:02:05 PM

realistically what are they hoping for, 1-15, 2-14?

i thnk 4-12 would be grounds for a contract extension considering how bad this team is

4/30/2009 7:12:42 PM

4-12 is a good start. idont see stanford starting in all the games though

4/30/2009 8:07:25 PM

He won't start in any if they're smart.

[Edited on April 30, 2009 at 8:08 PM. Reason : They aren't smart]

4/30/2009 8:07:57 PM

lol

4/30/2009 8:45:18 PM

looking to sign foote soon

5/5/2009 8:25:07 PM

Preseason Schedule
Date Opponent Location Time (ET) Network
Saturday, August 15 ATLANTA FALCONS Ford Field 4:00 p.m. WWJTV 62 (CBS)
Saturday, August 22 at Cleveland Browns Cleveland Browns Stadium 7:30 p.m. WWJTV 62 (CBS)
Saturday, August 29 INDIANAPOLIS COLTS Ford Field 1:00 p.m. WWJTV 62 (CBS)
Thursday, September 3 at Buffalo Bills Ralph Wilson Stadium 6:30 p.m. WWJTV 62 (CBS)

Regular Season Schedule
Date Opponent Location Time (ET) Network
Sunday, September 13 at New Orleans Saints Superdome 1:00 p.m. FOX
Sunday, September 20 MINNESOTA VIKINGS Ford Field 1:00 p.m. FOX
Sunday, September 27 WASHINGTON REDSKINS Ford Field 1:00 p.m. FOX
Sunday, October 4 at Chicago Bears Soldier Field 1:00 p.m. FOX
Sunday, October 11 PITTSBURGH STEELERS Ford Field 1:00 p.m. CBS
Sunday, October 18 at Green Bay Packers Lambeau Field 1:00 p.m. FOX
Sunday, October 25 ** BYE **
Sunday, November 1 ST. LOUIS RAMS Ford Field 1:00 p.m. FOX
Sunday, November 8 at Seattle Seahawks Qwest Field 4:05 p.m. FOX
Sunday, November 15 at Minnesota Vikings The Metrodome 1:00 p.m. FOX
Sunday, November 22 CLEVELAND BROWNS Ford Field 1:00 p.m. CBS
Thursday, November 26 GREEN BAY PACKERS Ford Field 12:30 p.m. FOX#
Sunday, December 6 at Cincinnati Bengals Paul Brown Stadium 1:00 p.m.* FOX
Sunday, December 13 at Baltimore Ravens M&T Bank Stadium 1:00 p.m.* FOX
Sunday, December 20 ARIZONA CARDINALS Ford Field 1:00 p.m.* FOX
Sunday, December 27 at San Francisco 49ers Candlestick Park 4:05 p.m.* FOX
Sunday, January 3 CHICAGO BEARS Ford Field 1:00 p.m.* FOX

5/5/2009 8:41:33 PM

L x20

5/5/2009 8:48:57 PM

fuck it

i think i'm going to have to follow the lions this year. i do admit, i fucking love stafford, and definitely jock his dick, but i think i can put myself through the punishment of watching their games.

god bless sunday ticket

5/5/2009 8:56:49 PM

stafford must thank god every day for his talent as a QB

because that dude is the fucking ugly...i had to watch the GT-UGA game in standard def as HD may have caused vomiting

5/5/2009 9:22:54 PM

downs syndrome.

5/5/2009 9:30:34 PM

i don't know how many times I've heard the "why the long face" joke about him...he looks like ash after he said the wrong words to the Necrimonicon

5/5/2009 9:32:52 PM

That was funny as hell, I wonder what their schedule rating will be this year....Cub Scout Troop #101 is supposed to be returning all of their starters from last year...could be a tough game

5/6/2009 3:19:13 PM

lol

9/28/2009 10:46:42 AM

FINALLY they won!!

9/28/2009 10:48:24 AM

hell yea!!! i was looking for this thread

we are back baby! not really but im gonna say it anyways

9/28/2009 11:16:40 AM

also they had lowest attendence yesterday since '89

9/28/2009 12:15:03 PM

cheers to the lions

I hope they win some more

9/28/2009 12:19:04 PM

I like the front page headline from the Washington Post: "Washington Bails Out Detroit: Redskins Hit a Low Point, Ending Lions' 19-Game Losing Streak"

[Edited on September 28, 2009 at 2:03 PM. Reason : me spell good.]

9/28/2009 2:03:25 PM

still losing, but looking like a football team...

fix the defense and we have a shot to do things

10/11/2009 10:02:11 PM

"fix the defense"

tell this guy

10/11/2009 10:06:44 PM

should have let stafford play the whole game.

10/11/2009 11:30:01 PM

w00t?

11/23/2009 11:38:08 AM