Quote :

"That cat is so happy about pwning that bat that it could care less about landing on a tote bag."

Just some solid .gif discussion from EUPHALO.

7/1/2009 9:44:18 AM

there is nothing to paste

7/1/2009 9:45:34 AM

Quote :

"Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest 2009"

self-explained

7/1/2009 9:46:52 AM

echo "<img class='alignleft alpha' src='wp-content/themes/bcb/images/dealotw.png' /><br /><br /> ";



I'm working on a site and I got tired of jumping back and forth between CSS and the PHP to mock something up so i cheated and used linebreaks and null blank spaces

7/1/2009 9:51:23 AM

"After reviewing the record, we are not sure what the problem is with this particular record and the QC rule preventing it from completing. It appears that a valid selection was made and that the QC rule should not be firing for this record. Assuming that the record is ready for completion, we can mark this record complete within the database for you. Please let us know if you have any questions."

It's hard to explain this really, but basically I'm fixing things in a client's database (DBA) for the system administrator. Also, I know exactly what the problem is, but it's a lot easier to play dumb and fix the QC Rule behind the scenes, than it is to try and teach someone over the internets who probably won't grasp it anyway.

7/1/2009 9:52:17 AM

Quote :

"p"

spilt beer on my laptop a while back and the p button has since refused to work. so whenever i need a p, i have to ctrl+v. now when i type on a working keyboard, it takes me a few tries to get used to the p button again.

7/1/2009 9:52:33 AM

7/1/2009 10:36:01 AM

one sec i'm gonna see whats on here on amc











in a witty move, i changed amc to amac

7/1/2009 10:40:20 AM

Quote :

"You creeped another user out in public by acting like a total Asperger. "

Someone said this about hooksaw and I wondered why.

7/1/2009 11:03:54 AM

yeah, i'm not gonna do that. It's a work related website.....

7/1/2009 11:04:18 AM

Wref-DIA VALUE


no

7/1/2009 11:05:06 AM

because I posted it lastnight

7/1/2009 11:08:29 AM

"Proofed and ready for design. Once edits are made to the layout, to client, legal and WP for reviews"

Working on a hotel ad for Robb Report.

[Edited on July 1, 2009 at 11:10 AM. Reason : .]

7/1/2009 11:09:47 AM

40 Bob Saget Salute, in memory of the past Tourette's Guy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tjeCg9XqZsc&feature=related

7/1/2009 11:14:59 AM

Quote :

"and to be fair, when using a community fridge, its common practice to put your name on shit."

i think it speaks for itself, although I don't agree with it

7/1/2009 11:16:03 AM

Quote :

"High School Diploma or equivalent required. Associates degree in secretarial science or batchelors degree in a related field preferred"

7/1/2009 11:19:55 AM

"xxxxx,

Pursuant to your request of June 23, 2009, please find the attached Form 61 filed in this matter. I have not been able to obtain any medical and indemnity payouts paid to Ms. xxxxx, and will likely not be able to do so until after July 1.

Thanks,

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
NC Department of Justice
Raleigh, NC 27602
xxx-xxx-xxxx"

something for law office work.. not exciting at all

BB -- it makes me happy that you used my pup for that

7/1/2009 11:22:45 AM

Quote :

"Of recent, I worked with a childrens apparel company, interning with the infant and toddler boys department. My degree in Fashion Development & Product Management offered me numerous classes working with the Gerber CAD software and the Adobe package. I have also created full technical specification packages for apparel projects."

haha, part of my shitty cover letter (and more like tl;dr).

7/1/2009 11:23:32 AM

^ Dude, I'm pretty sure I saw your work in a fashion show about three years ago. It was awesome! Good luck with the job search. They'll be lucky to have you.

7/1/2009 11:25:40 AM

Quote :

"Milton Davis Jr."

I was looking up the kid from Angels in the Outfield.

7/1/2009 11:27:08 AM

the decemberists doing the only thing they've ever done worth listening to, a cover of "crazy on you" with shara worden and becky stark on vocals

this one's from raleigh

7/1/2009 11:28:49 AM

When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security. — Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.

He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.

He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.

He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their Public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.

He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.

He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected, whereby the Legislative Powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.

He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.

He has obstructed the Administration of Justice by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary Powers.

He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.

He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harass our people and eat out their substance.

He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures.

He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil Power.

He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:

For quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:

For protecting them, by a mock Trial from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:

For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:

For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:

For depriving us in many cases, of the benefit of Trial by Jury:

For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences:

For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies

For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:

For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.

He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.

He has plundered our seas, ravaged our coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.

He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation, and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & Perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.

He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.

He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.

In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince, whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.

Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our British brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.

We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these united Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States, that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. — And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor.


just kinda felt like it

7/1/2009 11:29:51 AM

4chan thread

7/1/2009 11:30:41 AM

http://www.realdoll.com/


Was explaining the joys of real dolls to a friend last night.

7/1/2009 11:38:35 AM

Quote :

""

dont look like ive copied anything

7/1/2009 12:27:49 PM

NHL Free Agent Frenzy, motherfuckers!

7/1/2009 12:28:49 PM

Jesse and Chester wake up one morning and can't remember what happened the night before. There is a lifetime supply of pudding in the kitchen. Their girlfriends The Twins [Wanda and Wilma] call and remind them its their anniversary. Jesse and Chester decide they must have gotten the twins gifts and they are in the car. They go outside and cannot find Jesse's car. It is decided that they need to practice altered conscious memory retrieval by putting themselves into the state of mind of the night before. They decide to go to their friend Nelson's house. Later, they are hungry and decide to go to Chinese Foooood, a drive through Chinese restaurant where the woman who takes their order annoys Jesse so much by repeating "and then?" that he destroys the drive-up speaker. Being a pacifist, Nelson drops them off on the street where they meet Christy Boner, "el fuego of all that is el fuego". They are surprised when she recognizes them and tells them what a nice time she had the night before. Then her jock boyfriend Tommy shows up and threatens "stoner bashin time" if Jesse and Chester talk to Christy anymore.

In an effort to retrace their steps, they end up at the Kitty Kat Club, a strip bar where they are well known by the dancers, further perplexing them as to what exactly happened the night before. Here Jesse meets Tania, a "gender challenged male" who tells him that she gave him a suitcase full of money to keep safe for her and she wants it back. Jesse and Chester decide to go to The Twins house to try to remember the night before. They try to help The Twins clean the house but fail and the twins kick them out proclaiming they never to anything right. At this point they are kidnapped by a group of space nerds who follow Zoltan. The nerds tell them that last night they were in possession of a mysterious and powerful device called the Continuum Transfunctioner, and the nerds are searching for this device. Upon being dropped off, the tailor Mr. Lee gives them their special suits that they ordered the night before. Chester finds a Rubiks Cube in his suit. They also realize they have cell phones and have leased a convertible sportscar, Sweet!

Later, they are approached on the street by a group proclaiming themselves Hot Chicks. They offer to give Jesse and Chester erotic pleasure in exchange for the Continuum Transfunctioner. Tania once again shows up asking for her money. At this point Jesse and Chester are mistaken for thieves and are interrogated by the police. Once they are proved innocent, they find out that their car was found last night by the police, but unfortunately it was impounded by the sight-challenged officer Rick.

Meanwhile, the Hot Chicks meet Tommy and offer him erotic pleasure if they can get the Continuum Transfunctioner from Jesse and Chester. He sends them to the workplace of The Twins, who meet the Hot Chicks and become angry. Tommy also kidnappes Nelson and calls Jesse and Chester to arrange transfer of Nelson for the Continuum Transfunctioner.

Later, Jesse and Chester meet some gay-looking Nordic dudes who claim to be the Keepers of the Continuum Transfunctioner. They lent it to Jesse and Chester the night before. Our heroes go home only to meet The Twins who break up with them. Overcome with love for The Twins, Jesse and Chester realize they must have really good anniversary gifts in the car and resume the search. At the car impound they are told the car was sold at auction, but are able to get the address of the buyer. At this point they are once again approached by the Nordic dudes and send them to Chinese Foooood to keep them busy. But then Jesse and Chester are kidnapped by the space nerds again, only to find out The Twins are being held hostage by Zoltan until he receives the Continuum Transfunctioner. Jesse and Chester are let go and follow the address they were given to a very secure ostrich compound. They sneak in only to be attacked by ostriches and caged for poaching by Pierre (Brent Spiner). Jesse and Chester are freed when Chester knows the answer to the question Pierre poses thanks to his constant watching of Animal Planet. Pierre offers to give them the car back only to discover it has been stolen. All Pierre was able to recover was a key from a locker at Captain Stu's Space-O-Rama.

At the Space-O-Rama, Jesse and Chester find a stash of cool stuff in the locker, including Captain Stu tickets, a cool straw, and the suitcase full of money. Tania and her boyfriend Patty show up and take the money. Jesse and Chester use the Captain Stu tickets to buy a fake Continuum Transfunctioner. They then call Zoltan and Tommy. Zoltan shows up and trades The Twins for the fake Transfunctioner. Tommy shows up and steals the fake Transfunctioner and lets Nelson free. The Hot Chicks and the Nordic Dudes show up. Both claim to be the Keepers of the Continuum Transfunctioner.

Chester then solves the Rubiks Cube which is revealed to be the Continuum Transfunctioner. The Transfunctioner is now activated and will destroy the universe unless the true Keepers can turn it off. Jesse and Chester decide who the real Keepers are by asking a question about the 18th hole of putt-putt the night before. Only the real Keepers know that they won a lifetime supply of pudding by getting a hole in one. The universe is saved until the Hot Chicks morph into the Super Hot Giant Alien and go after the Continuum Transfunctioner. Jesse and Chester must activate the Photon Accelerator Annihilation Beam to destroy her. Chester once again saves the day thanks to his love of Animal Planet.

Christy falls in love with Nelson. The Nordic Dudes take the space nerds to a party in the Crab Nebula. Everyones memory is erased by the Nordic Dudes.

In the morning, Jesse and Chester cant remember the night before, but at least they find the car outside and drive to The Twins house where they exchange gifts and receive a special gift from the Keepers of the Continuum Transfunctioner. They get in the car to drive and get some Chinese Foooood.


please explain.

7/1/2009 12:30:32 PM

National Floral Emblem - The Rose

IDK husband copied this.

7/1/2009 1:29:22 PM

http://www.wralsportsfan.com/nascar/story/5480798/


i was sending that link to hubby, cuz i'm shocked that a nascar driver tested positive for meth

7/1/2009 1:29:56 PM

wait wait wait

an underperforming southerner loses his job multiple times and starts doing meth

AND YOU'RE SURPRISED?!

7/1/2009 1:33:02 PM

mine was a FB photo!

7/1/2009 1:33:51 PM

^^wait, wut?

i'm shocked cuz meth users aren't exactly "casual" meth users. no way fucker can sit in a car and drive in a circle for 5 or 6 fucking hours and be a meth head.

7/1/2009 1:34:41 PM

http://thewolfweb.com/photos/00508407.jpg


posting pictures for the container gardening thread

7/1/2009 1:35:17 PM

7/1/2009 1:37:21 PM

http://www.halowars.com/stats/StatsGame.aspx?Id=65868356-0056-5405-1130-000000000000

not even a game i played. was scanning the forums last night and someone posted how easy it is to win a 2v3 game

7/1/2009 1:40:07 PM

http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/U/US_OBIT_BILLY_MAYS?SITE=FLTAM&SECTION=US

7/1/2009 5:44:47 PM

seriously, it's the best place for a student to work on campus, IMO





was quoting a dude in the lounge i think

[Edited on July 1, 2009 at 5:51 PM. Reason : nvm, it was in chit chat]

7/1/2009 5:46:20 PM

28 Things You Didn't Know About The Hoff

1. David Hasselhoff once walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.

2. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures David Hasselhoff allows to live.

3. When David Hasselhoff drinks pee, his asparagus smells funny.

4. When David Hasselhoff was born, the nurse said, "Holy crap! That's David Hasselhoff!" Then she had had sex with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept with.

5. When David Hasselhoff goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

6. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects David Hasselhoff could use to kill you, including the room itself.

7. The popular videogame "Doom" is based loosely around the time Satan borrowed two bucks from David Hasselhoff and forgot to pay him back.

8. David Hasselhoff can count backwards from infinity.

9. Crop circles are David's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down.

10. When David Hasselhoff jumps into a body of water, he doesn't get wet. The water gets David instead.

11. David Hasselhoff can divide by zero.

12. In fine print on the last page of the Guiness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by David Hasselhoff, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever come to matching him.

13. David Hasselhoff is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose's shit.

14. David Hasselhoff has two speeds: walk and kill.

15. David Hasselhoff is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

16. David Hasselhoff can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass... at night.

17. You are what you eat. That is why David Hasselhoff's diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children.

18. David Hasselhoff once beat Super Mario Bros 3 without even touching his Nintendo controller.

19. David Hasselhoff played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

20. If you were to lock David Hasselhoff in a room with a guitar, a year later you would have the greatest album ever, it would sweep the Grammys. When asked why he doesn't do this David replied "Because Grammys are for queers." Then he'd eat a knife to show the seriousness of his response.

21. On his birthday, David Hasselhoff randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.

22. David Hasselhoff doesn't believe in rubber condoms. Instead, he sticks his penis in a girl, and uses that girl as a condom while fucking another.

23. When David Hasselhoff does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

24. Whenever David Hasselhoff puts out a cigarette, he throws it in slow motion into a long line of gasoline and calmly walks away as an inferno erupts behind him.

25. David Hasselhoff invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light... except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

26. David Hasselhoff coined the phrase, "I could eat a Horse" after he ate every last unicorn in existence.

27. David Hasselhoff haunts Freddy Krueger's nightmares.

28. The eternal conundrum "what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object" was finally solved when David Hasselhoff punched himself in the face.

7/1/2009 5:52:10 PM

http://www.lw-works.com/

clipboard recorder. it has saved my ass a few times, plus its really handy

7/1/2009 6:35:52 PM

40 Bob Saget Salute, in memory of the past Tourette's Guy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tjeCg9XqZsc&feature=related

7/1/2009 6:37:48 PM

Quote :

"You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! Stranger: Hey, I'm a guy. You: hey i'm a guy too are you going to disconnect me now lol You: or are you not a stupid fuck Stranger: "stupid fuck" Your conversational partner has disconnected."

7/1/2009 6:48:02 PM

023199DBF2ECCCF3B1541C0D59

7/1/2009 7:34:08 PM

dude, i wish i had a sister i could see in lingerie on a regular basis

haha because I was going to qoute and go until I read the rest of the thread.

7/1/2009 7:39:22 PM

canada day porn

7/1/2009 7:42:09 PM

trying to make a girl laugh so she might go out with me

7/1/2009 7:47:05 PM

http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/memoryalpha/en/images/thumb/c/c1/Kurn.jpg/292px-Kurn.jpg

7/1/2009 7:56:49 PM

©

7/1/2009 8:25:18 PM

this thread. isn't there already one?

7/1/2009 8:39:11 PM

^yes

7/1/2009 8:39:46 PM

Otis Redding

7/1/2009 9:05:00 PM