How would the conversation run? Please resort to naming people with names like "Saggy" or "Bushy," it would make it easier to follow than "Girl A" or "Girl B."

7/6/2009 8:48:20 PM

some wouldn't talk to me, the others would as some are married, and then the others after that we'd plot to destroy the world

7/6/2009 8:49:17 PM

they'd probably talk about how awesome I am

7/6/2009 8:49:49 PM

there'd only be like one and a half girls there

[Edited on July 6, 2009 at 8:50 PM. Reason : and the whole one would probably tell me how her rehab is coming along]

7/6/2009 8:50:16 PM

i wouldn't attend

they'd probably all get to talking and realize how completely different each of their opinions of me were

then they'd find they all have one thing in common

7/6/2009 8:50:56 PM

was it the class hamster that makes up that half?

7/6/2009 8:51:17 PM

^^^^pretty much....except for like 2...

but one is a crack head and the other is a loser...so i'm ok with them not liking me...

[Edited on July 6, 2009 at 8:51 PM. Reason : asdf]

7/6/2009 8:51:18 PM

"How far down did you get before you gagged ?"

7/6/2009 8:51:19 PM

they would be too busy fussing over their husband and/or kids

7/6/2009 8:51:20 PM

theyre all dead

7/6/2009 8:51:48 PM

only one

7/6/2009 8:53:26 PM

I'm pretty sure there wouldn't be any conversation

I know I wouldn't be saying anything. And as for the ex's....it's impossible to talk while your head is spinning in circles, and vomit is spewing out of your mouth.

7/6/2009 8:54:02 PM

its hard for them to talk when they got their mouths full OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

7/6/2009 8:54:34 PM

daddy issues would want to fight immature brat since i cheated on her with her

7/6/2009 8:54:53 PM

I think it would make for a very entertaining evening. I really care about all of my exes. They were all my friends. And they're all fun, smart guys.

And I only date quirky men. The only stick-in-the-mud would be the last one, but he was a snob anyway. He hated southerners.

7/6/2009 9:09:29 PM

Well....


I have no idea how that conversation would go.


But there would be a lot of note comparing, I'm sure


and the end result would probably be an assassination plot by some of them, but a few of them wouldn't buy in at all and would say I'm a stand up guy, and one of them would be indifferent about the whole thing


notice how I haven't put any numbers here


it's cause I'm classier than that

7/6/2009 9:12:18 PM

The bitch would be nice to everyone since shes now a sweet heart, the southern bell that was such a good girl when I met her would be drunk and trying to get everyone to get high, crazy bitch with a crazier mom would act like shes too good for everyone then talk to her mom on the phone about it, the quiet slut is still just that, miss I lost my virginity with at 14 would talk religion, the hot ass Cuban wouldn't come because shes never in America and always traveling, the once crackhead that's now married with a kid and doing well would be the coolest, then there's the real nut case who claims I cheated on her and she would some how find out about this event and come, but look you stupid fucking whore we weren't dating you were always just the best booty call ever, that's it, you shouldn't be here!

7/6/2009 9:14:19 PM

Thanks for following my little rule, kcon.

[Edited on July 6, 2009 at 9:15 PM. Reason : ♥ u 2 JL]

7/6/2009 9:14:59 PM

this is how the conversation would go:

7/6/2009 9:21:01 PM

Ohhhh. That's what you were referring to.

7/6/2009 9:22:11 PM

7/6/2009 9:23:52 PM

They would all agree on one thing.


I'm a selfish, shallow asshole.

7/6/2009 9:25:41 PM

Just how big of a table are we talking about here? Because I'm going to need one you'd find in a castle.

7/6/2009 9:26:18 PM

Date a lot of fatties?

7/6/2009 9:29:21 PM

No, a lot of really hot fit chicks.

7/6/2009 9:31:11 PM

oh ok


well in that case


the perky cheerleader would say that I'm a great guy, and so would the sarcastic architect. The vapid hairdresser would curse my name, which is ok by me, because that bitch nearly sucked my life away. the indifferent i dont know what she does now wouldn't even show, the cute colombian would spazz and not be able to decide if she wanted me or her ex. the super hot-ass designer chick would give me big ups and tell everyone how brilliant I am cause she's awesome and we're still really good friends. the crazy-ass nurse would blame me for every single bad thing that happened in our relationship and continue living in a fantasy land where relationships don't take effort from both parties. the teacher would probably call me a dick, which sucks because we had GREAT sex, challenged each other intellectually, and even though I couldn't really express it I was crazy about her (and if you read this, call me). the Ph.D student would DEFINITELY try to find my address so she could slash my tires, and PROBABLY me.

[Edited on July 6, 2009 at 9:32 PM. Reason : .]

7/6/2009 9:31:22 PM

They would probably either think I'm the shit or talk about how batshit crazy I am. The first one...let's just call her Brillo. An overwhelming number of them could be classified as chickenshit.

One or two would be absolutely brilliant, but so psychotic that they launched into total self destructive behavior. I really don't think any of them would be able to open up and have a decent conversation. Half could eat coal and shit diamonds.

7/6/2009 9:32:01 PM

Boy A would have a steak knife jabbed into his throat within the first 5 minutes. Then said steak knife would be taken out of his throat and instead placed into his scrotum.

Boy B would get a drink thrown on him and laughed at for not winning his stupid bet.

Then I would leave promptly with Man (key word there) C who is all around much better than the other 2 losers.



Sorry, I hold grudges.

7/6/2009 9:34:58 PM

what a weird concept

7/6/2009 9:36:19 PM

Well 2 of them are lesbians for each other now, and several others would probably cut my ass if given the chance. There'd be a good table full of people that hate me and then maybe 2 that are indifferent.

Overall, my exes hate me like the fucking plague.

7/6/2009 9:40:45 PM

wait wait wait

you've had a pair of exes that are now lovers?

that's... pretty uncommon

7/6/2009 9:41:29 PM

EMCE wins. and i didn't even need the gif to get the laughs.

7/6/2009 9:42:22 PM

I'm pretty sure I'd end up with severe injuries

7/6/2009 9:42:35 PM

The crazy christian chick would talk excitedly about how after just six years together she finally got as far as a kiss on the cheek from the weenie man she started dating right after she broke up with me for not being christian enough. The girl that was nice but focused on way too many people at once would say hi to me and the crazy christian girl, then call nine people on her cell phone, every once in a while briefly departing from her phone to interject a laugh or a yeah to what we were talking about. I'd spend most of my time talking to the girl who I was really good friends with but didn't really work with romantically. At some point the crazy christian chick would interject that she prayed every night for me to find Jesus, then do that shaky breathing thing that Mary Kathrine Galliger does, but not as a joke.

7/6/2009 9:44:13 PM

How are we defining 'ex's' here? I mean did there need to be a serious relationship?

7/6/2009 9:45:21 PM

I'd try to convince them that they are living the plotline of "Highlander" and that they have been assembled for the Gathering.

7/6/2009 9:46:25 PM

Yeah 2 of my exes are in a lesbian relationship now. They had both dated other guys since me and I knew both of them were bi when I dated them. Kinda random they wound up together though.

[Edited on July 6, 2009 at 9:50 PM. Reason : *]

7/6/2009 9:49:34 PM

^two of my exes wound up together after i dated both of them too. One is still a full blown lesbian, the other eventually went back to the cock and had a kid.

7/6/2009 9:58:06 PM

ok...let me see if i can do this...

the crackhead and the loser would be on one side of the table bitching to each other about how i would never sleep with them and then they would talk about being volunteer firemen or something...Chad (i have nothing else to call him) would come in and see the crackhead and the loser, roll his eyes, ask me why they were there, then give me a hug and say he can only stay a minute because his gf will cry if she knew he was hanging out with another girl..much less his ex...then the old guy and the dreaded ex would sit on the other side of the table drinking beer and talking about how fucking crazy i was when they were with me...the dreaded ex would tell old dude that i'm all good now...then old guy would have to leave to take his kid to the doctor...me and the dreaded ex would spend the rest of the night drinking beer and talking about our families, our jobs, how much we both fucked things up, how worthless the two people on the other side of the table are, and then he would try to sleep with me...and if tennesee boy was still alive he would tell them all i'm the most stable and supportive thing he ever had in his fucked up life and they all should have felt honored to know me...

[Edited on July 6, 2009 at 10:01 PM. Reason : afasd]

7/6/2009 10:00:23 PM

i'd fart

7/6/2009 10:00:41 PM

She would stare me down, knives coming out of her eyes, trying to decide if I was the best thing that ever happened or the worst mistake she ever made. Her internal struggle of regret and hatred would ultimately end with an only partially self-reassuring comment that she's with her best option.

7/6/2009 10:51:15 PM

bitchy 3 year ex would bitch about me and/or the situation/food/atmosphere/etc because she's a bitch and that's what she's good at

neo-hippy 9 month ex would probably have only great things to say about me but would talk shit to bitchy 3 year ex. we still chill when each other are in town.

Meredith girl that thought I was her boyfriend for ~5 months, realized that I wasn't, and still continued to have booty call sex for months thereafter would probably talk some shit only to have neo-hippy ex correct her at which point she'd realize that she still wants the d

all other girls that thought they were my girlfriend, or at least would be after the sex, throughout my life: they'd probably realize that I've slept with a whole lot more people than they thought and have second thoughts

7/6/2009 11:06:31 PM

i would be all alone

7/6/2009 11:08:04 PM

damn, that sucks. one night stands ftw

7/6/2009 11:08:58 PM

just a minor derailment...what is a neo-hippy?

7/6/2009 11:13:58 PM

I'd leave with some phone numbers and a bj

7/6/2009 11:21:10 PM

They'd probably claw each others eyes out arguing over who loves me more and who would make a better wife for me.

7/6/2009 11:24:59 PM

Quote :

"just a minor derailment...what is a neo-hippy?"

haha my term for a person that presents themself as a hippy when in fact does not represent anything the hippy counterculture of the 1960's stood for

i.e. an environmental science major that dresses like a huge hippy but stands for nothing really

[Edited on July 6, 2009 at 11:32 PM. Reason : .]

7/6/2009 11:32:13 PM

probably like most of my friends, they'd just talk about how cool my wife and daughter are

7/6/2009 11:39:48 PM

SET EM UP BITCHES

7/6/2009 11:43:55 PM