Last night was a disaster.
I guess I should say I had a great time, up until I was bitten, peed on, vomited on, and punched in the head.

The short version: Out in Wilmington, went to Rum Runners - $10 all you can drink. My friend Kristen takes this as her cue to get FUBARed and proceeds to:

a)lay on the side of the road for almost a half hour screaming at the top of her lungs and flailing.
b)bite my finger so hard it is STILL NUMB this morning. (She wanted to throw up but couldn't)
c)Hit me and my other friend Paul in the temple.
d)projectile vomit tuna all over my boyfriend's new jeep.
e)pee herself on the ride home after vomiting.
f)be a really nasty bitch to everyone.

So, please tell me how I can make her pay.

7/17/2009 9:33:34 AM

Drop her as a friend.

7/17/2009 9:35:16 AM

7/17/2009 9:35:24 AM

shoulda left her flailing on the side of the road

7/17/2009 9:35:38 AM

make her participate in a threesome with you and your bf

[Edited on July 17, 2009 at 9:35 AM. Reason : w]

7/17/2009 9:35:39 AM

Tell your boyfriend to go get his car detailed then make her pay for it

Then say you're never going to babysit her again... EVER. Leave her ass next time she does anything of the like.

7/17/2009 9:35:49 AM

leave her on the side of the road

7/17/2009 9:35:54 AM

Bite, pee on, vomit on, and punch her in the head.

Plus make her give you 10 bucks

7/17/2009 9:35:59 AM

I see this in wilmington every weekend.

7/17/2009 9:36:41 AM

Make her go on a date with DNL.

7/17/2009 9:37:18 AM

I cannot feel my left index finger.

I hear her talking in the next room so I am glad she is alive but I am still REALLY pissed.

^ aha.

And she is all gasping and shit because Paul is filling her in on the details.

[Edited on July 17, 2009 at 9:37 AM. Reason : ...]

7/17/2009 9:37:21 AM

give her the upper deck treatment next time you're at her place.

7/17/2009 9:37:54 AM

What is the upper deck treatment?

[Edited on July 17, 2009 at 9:39 AM. Reason : question mark.]

7/17/2009 9:39:15 AM

^ Seriously.. make her pay to have your bf's car detailed.

I got that ridiculously drunk one time (to the point of painting the back of someone's car) and the girl made me pay her roughly $35 to have her car detailed. I know it doesn't sound like a lot of money, but it was completely embarrassing.

7/17/2009 9:39:26 AM

should've moved her from the side of the road


into the middle of the road

7/17/2009 9:41:29 AM

^^^You take a dump in the upper deck of her toilet

[Edited on July 17, 2009 at 9:41 AM. Reason : made famous by tucker max, if i'm not mistaken]

7/17/2009 9:41:39 AM

haha. I like the car detailing.

I was in a two year relationship with a guy who got ridiculous at his going away party and ended up KICKING everything...walls, door, ME, his brother, the car....He also spewed crackers everywhere.

7/17/2009 9:41:55 AM

Quote :

"Tell your boyfriend to go get his car detailed then make her pay for it"

Start with this...Except she needs to go do an initial cleanup with a wet vac and some rags. Nobody wants to clean up her nasty fluids.

Followed by...

Quote :

"Drop her as a friend."

7/17/2009 9:42:33 AM

^2 If you want to really punish her, you should take it to the most expensive place you can find for said detailing. I think I got off cheap with $35

^ Truth.. make her start

[Edited on July 17, 2009 at 9:43 AM. Reason : .]

7/17/2009 9:42:51 AM

this is why i don't have stupid friends that can't handle alcohol.

7/17/2009 9:43:19 AM

You should make her clean it up herself, in a bikini, and post the pictures on TWW.

7/17/2009 9:43:28 AM

*if she's hot.

[Edited on July 17, 2009 at 9:47 AM. Reason : and PM her phone number to DNL]

7/17/2009 9:46:47 AM

is she attractive?

Not because it is relevant to the story, I am just trying to generate a mental image of how it went.

7/17/2009 9:49:39 AM

i'm afraid you might have missed the prime opportunity... the best thing you could have done would have been to make a video of the whole thing and post it on the internetz

on the other hand, you could have someone make a cartoon about it and put her full name and phone number/email on it. and put something in it about "i'm a slut, guyz should call me"

it might work out...

7/17/2009 9:58:06 AM

you wanna watch a video of a chick puking everywhere and pissing herself?

7/17/2009 9:59:18 AM

teabag

what what

7/17/2009 10:00:33 AM

tell her to grow the fuck up

7/17/2009 10:00:52 AM

She IS attractive. Very pretty girl.

She's apologizing right now.

7/17/2009 10:00:57 AM

Quote :

"PM her phone number to DNL"

7/17/2009 10:01:20 AM

the best course of action clearly is posting her nudes on this website

7/17/2009 10:01:29 AM

Quote :

"you wanna watch a video of a chick puking everywhere and pissing herself?"

no but how embarrassing would it be for her to have an "i'm a stupid bitch who drinks too much" video on the net?

7/17/2009 10:02:33 AM

We need 10 dollar all you can drink nights around heree

Because I spent like 40 last night and got half buzzed

7/17/2009 10:03:52 AM

You should definitely have her take care of the car detailing and some other personal favor: cleaning your house, pet sitting, DDing for you, etc. I also probably would not go out with her again if she's drinking.

[Edited on July 17, 2009 at 10:09 AM. Reason : .]

7/17/2009 10:07:50 AM

Make her do your laundry for a year

7/17/2009 10:09:28 AM

Quote :

"no but how embarrassing would it be for her to have an "i'm a stupid bitch who drinks too much" video on the net?"

oic

7/17/2009 10:10:12 AM

Quote :

"You should definitely have her take care of the car detailing and some other personal favor: cleaning your house, pet sitting, DDing for you, etc. I also probably would not go out with her again if she's drinking."

7/17/2009 10:10:25 AM

Quote :

"We need 10 dollar all you can drink nights around heree Because I spent like 40 last night and got half buzzed"

7/17/2009 10:12:46 AM

She is going to get me a manicure and detail the car.

7/17/2009 10:14:10 AM

sounds kind of familiar...

7/17/2009 10:30:16 AM

true friendship, right there

buying your way out of being a dick

7/17/2009 10:32:06 AM

Quote :

" a)lay on the side of the road for almost a half hour screaming at the top of her lungs and flailing. b)bite my finger so hard it is STILL NUMB this morning. (She wanted to throw up but couldn't) c)Hit me and my other friend Paul in the temple. d)projectile vomit tuna all over my boyfriend's new jeep. e)pee herself on the ride home after vomiting. f)be a really nasty bitch to everyone. "

People pay for this kind of treatment, I say you whore her out and profit

7/17/2009 10:32:30 AM

for those of you just tuning in

pawprint is engaging in classic projection

ascribing her actions to a putative "friend"

but note the productive twist here

she regrets her behavior and wants to be proactive in making it up to her friend

she turns to the wolf web for advice

NORMALLY A MISTAKE

however

by shifting the behavior to her anonymous "friend"

casting herself as the victim

and framing her question in terms of retribution

she leverages the wolf web's collective instinct for hate and shame to her advantage

and comes out smelling like roses

even garnering a little sympathy in the process

brilliantly played

7/17/2009 10:32:59 AM

haha, your boyfriend has a jeep

7/17/2009 10:33:48 AM

Claim she's an illegal immigrant and have her deported.

7/17/2009 10:34:13 AM

Quote :

"She IS attractive. Very pretty girl. She's apologizing right now. "

Quote :

"the best course of action clearly is posting her nudes on this website"

7/17/2009 11:19:45 AM

Post a personal ad for her on Craigslist, complete with phone number...


Also, definitely get her to pay to detail the car... and yeah, $35 is super cheap, I took a company car to get detailed around here and it was $85.

7/17/2009 12:52:27 PM

I feel like Paul should have more to say about all of this..

7/17/2009 12:58:47 PM

^Ed Furlong! I loved you in Detroit Rock City!

Also, this girl sounds like a roommate I had, and if that's the case, the only cure is to punch her repeatedly in the uterus. It's not a short-term solution, but at least you know she won't be making more drunken imbeciles.

7/17/2009 1:23:11 PM

some people just fuck up, that's how life is. you shouldn't do anything to her besides making her clean the car out and if she's a good friend she'll think of some way to make it up to you rather than you making demands and if she doesn't then she obviously doesn't value your friendship and at that point you should just drop her.

7/17/2009 1:30:38 PM

Quote :

"d)projectile vomit tuna all over my boyfriend's new jeep."

win

7/17/2009 1:36:35 PM