I love paying good money to see pure shit... something I hate is better than something boring

8/8/2009 9:02:28 PM

Why is the only alternative to a dogshit event a boring one? Why not spend your money on something you like?

8/8/2009 9:07:56 PM

I do that too as well, but doing it all the time is too easy, but this gives me something to loathe and mock

[Edited on August 8, 2009 at 9:11 PM. Reason : d]

8/8/2009 9:11:05 PM

I just go to concerts that I like and reserve the loathing and mocking for the other people attending said event.

Win win.

8/8/2009 9:13:54 PM

dammit, cant go... have to go to a conference for work

8/29/2009 3:23:13 PM

This would have been one of the dumber things I've ever heard.

8/29/2009 3:25:29 PM

I fucking love the reviews/comments on them from the music industry:


Metal Edge Magazine has called Brokencyde "fucking horrendous"

Thrash Magazine has called them "a mockery to the world of music"

British commentator Warren Ellis calls Brokencyde's "Freaxxx" music video "a near-perfect snapshot of everything that’s shit about this point in the culture" HAHHAH

August Brown of the Los Angeles Times, "The 'Albucrazy'-based band has done for MySpace emo what some think Soulja Boy did for hip-hop: turn their career into a kind of macro-performance art that exists so far beyond the tropes of irony and sincerity that to ask 'are they kidding?' is like trying to peel an onion to get to a perceived central core that, in the end, does not exist and renders all attempts to reassemble the pieces futile." HHAHAHAHHA

"If this is the future of rock music, we're fucking outta here" wrote Kerrang!

really long, but best album review ever:

Quote :

"Alright, I am fucking ripshit, and this is not going to end well. Somebody, anybody, PLEASE, what the fuck? I am at a loss for words. OK, that's a lie, the only word I can think of and want to scream at the top of my head is: FUCK! As a matter of fact, I may go into the Guinness Book of World Records with this review as the "person who used the word fuck the most times in an album review." Get the point yet? Good. So yeah, this band is called brokeNCYDE, which, by the way, is supposed to be pronounced "broke inside." Because you know, these guys are so tormented from all their "failed relationships" (read: farm animals) and they use their music as a vehicle to lose their pain and anguish. Sorry, just puked in my mouth a little bit. So anyway, yeah, I don't even know where to fucking start. This piece of shit is called "I'm Not A Fan, But The Kids Like It," which is about the best part about the entire shtick, the fact that they were able to craft such a clever and somewhat ironic name for this… album. Now I don't know where they are going to file this in stores, because I never thought in my wildest dreams we'd have a subgenre of… well, whatever the fuck this is supposed to be called. They call it "screamo-crunkcore," but I can tell you it would make MUCH more sense if this was filed in the comedy section. If I ever actually see this fucking thing in a rock or metal section, I may go postal. And no, that wasn't even a fucking joke. So if you work in a music store in the Central Massachusetts area… don't test your luck. You're officially on notice. I will find you, and it won't end nicely. Moving on, fuck, I don't even know. I am so scatterbrained over the fact that this is even happening and I legitimately hate myself for not being there to stop it. You know, like Superman or something crushing them at birth because I could see the future and all the bullshit that would ensue because of these peons. He can do that right? Sure, he's fucking Superman. Anyway, before even listening to a single word that comes out of these dumbfucks mouths, I was presented with this picture of their stupid faces. So how about we just throw together everything that sucks about scene kids and add some rap to it. Stupid sunglasses? Check? Backup pair of stupid sunglasses? Check. Sunglasses on your tshirt? Double sided stupid lip piercings? Check. Retarded blowout hair cuts? Check. Pastels? Check. Hot pink shirt and white denim pants? Check. A fucking scarf? Check? A couple million friends on MySpace? Check. We've got some real Mensa candidates here. Give me a fucking break. And for the record, I found that picture on Wikipedia under the definition for the word: douchebag, which is funny, because I thought I would find it under "queer" or "homo," but when I showed the picture to one of my gay friends, all he said was "oh my gawd, who are these faggots?" So yeah, even the homosexual community isn't willing to claim them as their own. It's unfortunate, because contrary to what their songs may tell you, that's about the only shot they have at getting laid. But hey, at least they have each other, right? Oh, and farm animals. Now if I haven't painted a beautiful picture of general retardation yet, let's go ahead and look at some the lyrics from these future Pulitzer prize winners: "If you want me baby feel me in. 'cause I don't waste my time with lesbians. Let's get freaky now, let's get fucking freaky now." "Oh baby girl I see your photos on myspace You look so beautiful So what I gotta do to take you to my place So you can be my booty girl." "Get loose get laid fuckin bitches' everyday bc13 and you know we’re here to stay These hoes x2 are always blowing up my phone When I walk up in the club they goin now I'm in the zone" Oh, I'm not done. "All you motha fuckin brizzles to get off the flizzle and to start fuckin dizzles Fishizzle my nizzle got these fuckin brizzles all up in my mizzle like a fuckin grizzle Get off my grizzle girl You got all these fuckin hoes all up in my face Shut the fuck up with that shit" "I drive them bitches crazy, cause I'm a sexy dude, But don't expect on having sex unless you shave your pubes." And now, the biggest gem of them all: "You make my pee-pee hard." Hahahahahahahahaha…. OK. Fuck. Wow. These guys are so full of fucking shit, it's hilarious. First of all, they are all probably virgins, unless we count the times they fucked each other in the ass. But seriously. These pussies can't get made fun of enough. I mean, why do all the good ones like Tupac and Biggie and Dimebag catch a bullet and these sorry sacks of shit are allowed to produce this garbage? Song after song after song they just put themselves over as if they are some kind of party animals that are capable of fucking anything that walks and drinking anything with alcohol in it. This is the type of shit that appeals to the absolute lowest common denominators of society. Now back to this screamo crunkcore nonsense. I mean, really? Did we really need this? I mean, I guess we had the chance to nip this at the bud when Action Action! came around, and I apologize, I was asleep at the wheel, my bad, it got carried away. But if you want to talk about insulting, listen to the way their bio describes them: "With the intensity of Underoath but the flair of Lil Jon, you can be assured that this high-energy rollercoaster is about to take you on a fantastic ride." And to be completely honest, where the fuck does the screamo or the core even come into play here? Because that fruity looking floppy haired fuck kind of screams unnecessarily every once in a while? Because I can tell you it is TOTALLY fucking core to say shit like "skeet skeet" and "you make my pee-pee hard." Now at the end of the day, I only have one question for everyone involved with letting this happen: was this really fucking necessary? This is a mockery to the world of music. This makes me want to listen to Limp Bizkit. This makes me want to watch my dog take a shit. There is absolutely no redeeming quality to any aspect of this band. Nothing. They look like idiots, they dress like idiots, and quite frankly, do we really need to listen to 18 songs about with topics such as: pussy, getting drunk, fucking girls, panties, getting laid, doing drunks, smoking blunts and yeah, that's about it. 18 songs of nothing but that. Oh yeah, 18 songs of them acting like they are some kind of hot shots. But as we all know, these guys are about as cool as AIDs, which seems pretty ironic since that's where they are heading, well, except for the fact that we all know this is all a front, completely fictional and the only things they've ever fucked are farm animals. Or their hand. Normally at the end of every review I write, I say "if you’re a fan of" and list three similar bands and say you might dig this bad. I'm not going to do that here. Instead, I will just leave it like this: if you are a fan of fisting yourself in the ass with a rusty spiked gauntlet, drinking your own diarrhea and/or swimming in a pool full of semen, you may enjoy the music of brokeNCYDE. Unfortunately, this piece of shit is in stores, and good bands like Beloved, Hopesfall and With Honor no longer exist. Again, what the fuck? Fuck you MTV. Fuck you Suburban Noize Records. Fuck you Myspace. Fuck you E-40 for lowering yourself to appear on this piece of shit. I'd say fuck you to Daddy-X if anyone gave a shit as to who he was, but fuck you anyway. Fuck you "Se7en," "Mikl," "Phat J," and "Antz." Make your next song a suicide note. Fuck you to those four clowns parents too for raising such shitheads. Fuck you Albuquerque, New Mexico for not kicking the shit out of these assholes enough growing up. Was a school shooting too much to ask for? And most of all, fuck anyone that buys this bullshit and allows it to fucking continue. I am done with this shit. If I never have to hear it again, it will be too soon. Now I know what many of you are saying… Jay, don’t you think you may have crossed the line a little bit there? And to those people, I say: NAY. I can’t allow this to happen. We must revolt."

[Edited on August 29, 2009 at 3:35 PM. Reason : d]

8/29/2009 3:29:32 PM

I CAN'T THINK OF MORE FUN THAN PAYING TO SEE THIS AND MOCK THE FANS

RAWR RAWR RAWR

8/29/2009 3:33:35 PM

bingo

8/29/2009 3:35:37 PM

DONT CUT DONT CUT THIS PIG! BREE! BREE!

8/29/2009 3:40:05 PM

BREE BREE BREE BREE BREE


I fucking love this shit http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nQVpITyOdc8 so aweful yet they prolly mad play. It takes skill to make music that terrible



its like metalcore spinal tap except they are probably serious.

I'm AstralAdvent and i approved this message.

[Edited on August 29, 2009 at 4:31 PM. Reason : ]

8/29/2009 4:27:56 PM

oh, this band

i didn't know their name

yes, i'd pay to see this group of abortion clinic escapees

for hilarity would ensue

8/29/2009 4:35:27 PM

i must say

i do find it musically intriguing how much glitch they have programmed into the autotune

because it's either an interesting choice or the guy is an even worse singer than kanye

8/29/2009 4:38:50 PM

glitch?

hahahahahahaha surely you jest

I'm AstralAdvent and i approved this message.

8/29/2009 4:40:15 PM

i'd throw down a few dollarbucks to go see the 'crabcore' band Attack Attack!

with synchronized swaying/jumping and europop dance breakdowns

8/29/2009 4:40:19 PM

yeah dude that shit is awesome. and you can bet your ass on taking home a 16 year old. can even probably driver her dad's benz

I'm AstralAdvent and i approved this message.

[Edited on August 29, 2009 at 4:41 PM. Reason : its like drinks on the house from Attack attack, but instead its 16 year olds]

8/29/2009 4:40:44 PM

ncsugirl had this band on a cd, we jammed to it a few times in the car haha

8/29/2009 4:41:02 PM

i swear to god i think these guys are fucking around...this cant be serious

8/29/2009 4:41:03 PM

i think fucking around is the way in which they are serious

I'm AstralAdvent and i approved this message.

8/29/2009 4:42:20 PM

^^ yeah, thats what I thought at first, but apparently its real


sad thing is, Freaxxxx is their "good" song

[Edited on August 29, 2009 at 4:44 PM. Reason : d]

8/29/2009 4:43:17 PM

Quote :

"glitch? hahahahahahaha surely you jest"

tracking error

i used to do it with ring modulators

8/29/2009 4:43:36 PM

no i mean they are being serious, but they don't have any intention of giid making music, just entertaining people with terrible taste like themselves

I'm AstralAdvent and i approved this message.

8/29/2009 4:44:12 PM

a conscious production decision is a conscious production decision

8/29/2009 4:46:36 PM

dude id go to this to mock people AND fuck stupid bitches

8/29/2009 5:42:22 PM

theres that too

8/29/2009 5:43:05 PM

http://www.myspace.com/mexicantwatcircus

reminds me for some reason of mexican twat circus. last i saw this guy he was getting thrown out of a car door at tucson international going about 60 after a cocaine fueled rage ride home from nogales

8/29/2009 5:51:13 PM

8/29/2009 5:58:00 PM

8/29/2009 10:23:11 PM