Duties entail*:
Making coffee
Scheduling my spa treatments
Answering my phone calls and responding to my text messages (I hate the phone)
Managing my travel schedule
Lotioning me at the pool (can't reach my back)
Helping me train for beer pong and flip cup tournaments
Shopping for Christmas gifts for my friends and family
Drinking more wine than me so I don't feel like a lush

In return, you will receive free room and board and meals, as well as a monthly living stipend. Any takers?

* Duties subject to change and may include the trafficking of illicit substances to and from Columbia.

[Edited on August 12, 2009 at 10:24 AM. Reason : .]

8/12/2009 10:24:14 AM

did intern died?

8/12/2009 10:24:51 AM

Is this another one of your threads where you try to convince the rest of us how awesome and carefree your life is?

8/12/2009 10:24:56 AM

thats more of a personal assistant not an intern

8/12/2009 10:25:13 AM

shall we PM resumes?

8/12/2009 10:25:43 AM

Throw in providing sex and we've got a deal.

8/12/2009 10:26:12 AM

^4

nice

8/12/2009 10:28:10 AM

Quote :

"Answering my phone calls and responding to my text messages (I hate the phone)"

Quote :

"Sex: F"

Does not compute.

8/12/2009 10:28:31 AM

I CAN DO THIS. PLEASE PICK ME

8/12/2009 10:29:07 AM

I can do all that. OPlus I offer you use of my weiner to be used as you see fit.

8/12/2009 10:29:26 AM

I can hire guys to cum in and bwn you if you want.

8/12/2009 10:31:43 AM

Dibs. Plus I can yell at you when working out when your personal trainer isn't there.

8/12/2009 10:32:48 AM

^ Oooh. I could def use an assistant personal trainer. Great idea.

8/12/2009 10:33:35 AM

Lucy I'll totally do it. Buck can get a job with OUC. We'll move to FL.

PICK ME!

8/12/2009 10:33:36 AM

Quote :

"Duties entail*: Making coffee Scheduling my spa treatments Answering my phone calls and responding to my text messages (I hate the phone) Managing my travel schedule Lotioning me at the pool (can't reach my back) Helping me train for beer pong and flip cup tournaments Shopping for Christmas gifts for my friends and family Drinking more wine than me so I don't feel like a lush In return, you will receive free room and board and meals, as well as a monthly living stipend. Any takers? * Duties subject to change and may include the trafficking of illicit substances to and from Columbia."

You forgot to mention:
Log onto TWW under my username and create bad threads.

[Edited on August 12, 2009 at 10:34 AM. Reason : ]

8/12/2009 10:34:10 AM

Thumper

Do you need to get in touch with the hiring manager at OUC? Tons of my friends work there. Though I know you and Buck have oodles of contacts as well.

You guys should move down. The outlet stores here have GREAT deals. Great shopping. And we can lounge by my pool all weekend, every weekend.

Oh, and to the guy who says I pretend my life is carefree, why so serious? This is chit chat. Who gets serious in chit chat?

[Edited on August 12, 2009 at 10:38 AM. Reason : .]

8/12/2009 10:35:11 AM

Quote :

"Is this another one of your threads where you try to convince the rest of us how awesome and carefree your life is?"

8/12/2009 10:37:22 AM

You would not have to convince me. Convince your brother....and your parents.

8/12/2009 10:37:23 AM

I can help with applying the lotion and with giving you an O face.

8/12/2009 10:37:41 AM

^ Hired, as thumper cannot give me an O face. That would just be wrong.

I will need a bigger house for all these interns.

8/12/2009 10:38:57 AM

WILLING TO RELOCATE AND

8/12/2009 10:41:43 AM

H8R
Let's relocate to San Diego, baby. We'll live on the beach and surf. You just have to wax my board.

8/12/2009 10:42:53 AM

^^^ Now I've got that thought in my head...

[Edited on August 12, 2009 at 10:43 AM. Reason : *]

8/12/2009 10:43:29 AM

K

8/12/2009 10:43:56 AM

I'd let her wax my board.

8/12/2009 10:44:12 AM

we can ride the dunes of glamis

8/12/2009 10:47:01 AM

Quote :

"may include the trafficking of illicit substances to and from Columbia"

what illicit substances could you possibly want to smuggle out of our nation's capital? Marion Berry?

8/12/2009 10:51:11 AM

Starbucks.

8/12/2009 10:51:50 AM

I partied with Marion Barry once.

He fucks up the rotation.

8/12/2009 10:52:51 AM

Don't think I'd want to party with Marion Barry. Crack isn't my thing. You'd think the dude could swing for higher end shit.

8/12/2009 11:03:11 AM

No comment has been made about my offer of the use of my weiner? It is in pristine and untouched condition. I feel slighted.

8/12/2009 11:05:27 AM

You're a virgin? Can I sacrifice you to the gods? I would love to do that. You're hired.

8/12/2009 11:08:55 AM

wtf


this is just like trying to find a new job.

some crackpot dangles a position in front of you then just gives it away to like 6 other people

8/12/2009 11:11:23 AM

K, what are your mad skills? Computer hacking? I need an intern with skills.

8/12/2009 11:12:22 AM

how about hunting and fishing skillz?

8/12/2009 11:13:19 AM

what kind of living stipend we talkin here?

8/12/2009 11:13:51 AM

Will you go off-shore fishing with me? And shark fishing at night? And can you clean a fish?

I'll make the best ceviche if you will clean the fish for me. That's a skill. If you can do these things, you're hired.

8/12/2009 11:14:24 AM

i can do all of those things

8/12/2009 11:16:43 AM

dude lucyintehsky


will offshore fish
can clean fish
will throw back any fish i catch thats bigger than yours
i will strike fear into the hearts of your enemies
i WONT shoot til i see the whites of their eyes
i can teach you things about beer pong you've never imagined
i play whole cup flip cup...nuff said?
i will drink so much more wine than you, you'll think i have a problem
i excel at giving great gifts
i will french press you fresh ground coffee errrry morning

there have been lots of offers to bone you, but i am classy, so no bonez, but i will hire gigolos for you

8/12/2009 11:24:05 AM

i could do it... and I bring other things to the table

8/12/2009 11:24:52 AM

yeah, fishing, hunting, and minor mechanical work is about all i got

8/12/2009 11:26:08 AM

^^^ Will you watch John Cusack films with me? I love Better Off Dead.

8/12/2009 11:41:28 AM

I hereby defer to BettrOffDead. He can have the job.

I however, will be the gigolo he hires for you.

8/12/2009 11:44:37 AM

Between the killing, coffee making, fish cleaning and drinking skills, BettrOffDead is looking good.

Alright, just realized that I need someone who can drive a boat and a golf cart. Wakeboarding golfers are encouraged to apply for this position.

8/12/2009 11:49:09 AM

IM IN!

8/12/2009 11:51:05 AM

Has it been since CeeJay that tdub has seen this kinda of sustained and consistent attention whoring?

8/12/2009 12:01:55 PM

Wait til I post my power tools pics. The best attn whoring is yet to come.

8/12/2009 12:03:19 PM

if dnl starts posting your name i'm going to block you

I'm AstralAdvent and i approved this message.

8/12/2009 12:04:31 PM

Lucy won't be as bad until she goes out and gets new boobs and then posts before and after bikini pictures.

Not that I would discourage any bikini photos.

[Edited on August 12, 2009 at 12:05 PM. Reason : *]

8/12/2009 12:04:48 PM

Dude, all the pics in my gallery are fake anyway.

Does nobody realize that I'm actually a man?

pwnt

8/12/2009 12:06:10 PM