Which is worse? I ask because the wife of a friend of mine chastised me the other night about not having settled down. She said I was going to wind up old and alone if I wasn't careful.

So what do you think is worse TWW? Being married and miserable or single and miserable?

8/19/2009 4:04:32 PM

worse = single and miserable.

at least you have someone to bitch to when married.

8/19/2009 4:05:12 PM

depends on why you're miserable actually

8/19/2009 4:05:30 PM

Single and miserable.

No one gives you shit when you come at 2AM drunk because you hate your life.

8/19/2009 4:06:46 PM

i'm single and miserable because i'm the only single guy in my circle of friends. It's couple-centric with everything and none of the SOs have single girlfriends. It has really made me think hard about moving and starting over.

8/19/2009 4:06:58 PM

That was what my buddy's wife was getting at, and I can see her point. Half the time when I call someone up to do something I get the, "well, the wife wants to . . . . " Right. Got it.

But then I see friends of mine with family pictures on the beach and they're all wearing identical white polos and khaki pants. At which point, I grab a beer and stand out on my porch in just my boxers, breathing in the sweet, sweet, aroma of freedom.

8/19/2009 4:07:03 PM

single by far

8/19/2009 4:07:07 PM

^^^^good line of thinking

[Edited on August 19, 2009 at 4:07 PM. Reason : knew i was late]

8/19/2009 4:07:16 PM

Quote :

"i'm single and miserable because i'm the only single guy in my circle of friends. It's couple-centric with everything and none of the SOs have single girlfriends. It has really made me think hard about moving and starting over."

I usually cross people off of the friend list once they get married. I know for a fact that I can count on them to go out drinking maybe once a year and at least once during that night out they'll call the wife to check in using their weird wife-voice.

8/19/2009 4:13:37 PM

married and miserable is the worse of the lot. when you're married and miserable there are no escapes and you have the constant pressure of engaging with someone who makes you miserable that you can't really escape.

When you're single and miserable you at least still have the freedom to do what you want based on your own cognition and will.

its okay to have that freedom diminished when in exchange you have gained something that has made you as happy as your freedom, but to have it exchanged for misery...no way, never.

8/19/2009 4:14:07 PM

Quote :

"I usually cross people off of the friend list once they get married. I know for a fact that I can count on them to go out drinking maybe once a year and at least once during that night out they'll call the wife to check in using their weird wife-voice."

i tend to not be able to go out drinking with friends that are single still, as most don't have real jobs yet and don't start til 10-noon so they can drink til 3am easy.

but i don't hesitate to go on weekends even though i don't drink as its still fun to hang out and i don't mind playing DD.

8/19/2009 4:16:22 PM

Yeah, I'm not saying that marriage = miserable, I know a few guys who absolutely love being married. Most though . . . most sound like they spend more time convincing themselves they're happy than explaining it to me.

^ That is the other side of the coin. The single guys I know tend to be in their early to mid 20s and I don't generally enjoy that crowd.

I guess I just have to muscle through till my mid 30s when everyone starts getting divorced

8/19/2009 4:17:07 PM

i love it when people are trying to convince themselves of things when they are talking to you

8/19/2009 4:18:14 PM

yup.

"No man, it sounds like you've got a great thing going there . . . really. Good for you, taking the plunge and whatnot."

8/19/2009 4:20:10 PM

(i feel like this fits here)

8/19/2009 4:21:37 PM

i think that bitch needs to keep her judgemental nose out of your damn business

8/19/2009 4:23:48 PM

ahaha, yeah, she is a bit of a busy-body.

[Edited on August 19, 2009 at 4:25 PM. Reason : ^^ gg]

8/19/2009 4:24:29 PM

i think if you're married & miserable or single & miserable there's really only one solution...

get a dog.

8/19/2009 4:25:01 PM

Quote :

"That is the other side of the coin. The single guys I know tend to be in their early to mid 20s and I don't generally enjoy that crowd."

My single friends are all guys that I've known since college. In fact, I would say that our herd has gotten stronger as the weaker animals have been picked off by tigers and forced into marriage.

8/19/2009 4:25:32 PM

Quote :

"But then I see friends of mine with family pictures on the beach and they're all wearing identical white polos and khaki pants."

this is pretty much a gots-to-go situation for me

8/19/2009 4:25:37 PM

Quote :

"She said I was going to wind up old and alone if I wasn't careful."

That's woman thinking.
Men can get more attractive as they get older.
Women on the other hand...Not so.
You're just as likely to end up old and hooking up with a 25 year old if you're not careful.

Just don't let yourself turn into a loser as you age.

[Edited on August 19, 2009 at 4:27 PM. Reason : l]

8/19/2009 4:26:46 PM

Quote :

" weird wife voice "

i hate that voice. some times i catch myself using it when i call my girlfriend and then i tell my balls to drop back down and put the bass back in it where it belongs.

8/19/2009 4:27:06 PM

this is the kind of picture of which I speak:

Quote :

"My single friends are all guys that I've known since college."

Yeah, I've been too geographically mobile to maintain that. The closest I've got right now are guys who are geographical bachelors.

8/19/2009 4:28:33 PM

Quote :

"i'm single and miserable because i'm the only single guy in my circle of friends. It's couple-centric with everything and none of the SOs have single girlfriends. It has really made me think hard about moving and starting over."

You're going to move because you're single and you're friends aren't? How is that any different than just seeking out new friends here? Isn't that what you'd have to do if you move?

8/19/2009 4:28:34 PM

now i'm wondering if justin has a weird wife voice?

[Edited on August 19, 2009 at 4:30 PM. Reason : ]

8/19/2009 4:29:46 PM

Quote :

"which I know is code for"

you can stop right there. Men don't talk in code. We tell you what we think, or we out and out lie, but we don't talk in code. That is women shit.

8/19/2009 4:30:58 PM

Quote :

"*which I know is code for, we're talking man shit, i'm drinking a beer, and I'm actually helping him with his computer, haha"

haha, you hope

8/19/2009 4:31:10 PM

I saw it before the edit. Don't worry, lots of guys hang out at rest stops at night.

8/19/2009 4:31:31 PM

I'd say single and miserable as it's easier to fix being miserable when you're single and you don't have to lose half of your shit to do so.

8/19/2009 4:31:49 PM

my group of friends have gotten really couple centric in the past year to year and a half as well. i really wish it hadn't. i have a girlfriend so i'm not excluded but there are occasions where i still want to go out and chill with it just being the guys, alas, my friends are too pussy whipped to come out and tell their girls they want to do that so it never comes to fruition.

the fault lays with the men just as much as with the women. if guy friends would actually man up, stop being so afraid of their wife/girlfriend's and go out solo every once and a while there wouldn't be this whole single vs. coupled dynamic where the singles are usually alienated.

8/19/2009 4:33:34 PM

Well, lets look at it this way:

To go from single to married requires a visit to the justice of the peace.
To go from married to single requires at least half of whats yours and half of your future paycheck, lawyers, and the likely loss of your children.

and that is complete bullshit about growing old and single, that is what women have to worry about. Try and make a list of people you know who are married to someone more than 10 years younger... bet you they are ALL men.

http://www.nomarriage.com/

8/19/2009 4:34:49 PM

eh...it was supposed to be an inside funny for those 4, but I took it down.

but yes, I know men don't speak in code
and I don't have to hope...I know.
and rest stops...clever.

8/19/2009 4:35:32 PM

i definately think married & miserable is the worst. You are basically trapped, and the only way to escape is through the headache of divorce (and even worse if you have kids), and if you aren't strong enough to do that, you're basically pidgeonholed into hating life for a very long time.

as for single and miserable, unless you're just a super anti-social, fail at life kind of person, you can at least still get laid every so often, be free to do what you want when you want without reporting to someone, and enjoy going out with friends all the time and drinking heavily. most of us will get married eventually, what's the point in being in a rush to live your life?

8/19/2009 4:37:02 PM

^^^my brother married a chick 10 years older

and i know at least 5 other dudes that married girls 10 years older

[Edited on August 19, 2009 at 4:37 PM. Reason : dffds]

8/19/2009 4:37:18 PM

^^^now i wanna know what you said

[Edited on August 19, 2009 at 4:38 PM. Reason : .]

8/19/2009 4:37:27 PM

haha, ok fine

after the wife voice question i said justin usually texts me anyway and it's either "on my way", "k", or "stopping at saps'/danny's/brett's to check out something on their computer" which i know is code for--man talk, beer, and actually fixing their computer

especially YOU

8/19/2009 4:39:14 PM

Quote :

"but there are occasions where i still want to go out and chill with it just being the guys, alas, my friends are too pussy whipped to come out and tell their girls they want to do that so it never comes to fruition. "

ok there is the problem... the guys are too much of a pussy to go out and hang out with their friends bc they're dating women who "dont like it" or somehow makes the guy think he shouldn't go

heres a hint, if your gf doesnt like you hanging out with your friends now, chances are good she wont like it ever.

girls are different than guys in that guys NEED that guy time to be happy. i know that personally i NEED girl time but i think its stronger for men

[Edited on August 19, 2009 at 4:40 PM. Reason : type too fast]

8/19/2009 4:39:36 PM

actually ^^^ is the only dude i know that likes women 10+ years younger than him




[Edited on August 19, 2009 at 4:40 PM. Reason : sdklfja]

8/19/2009 4:39:48 PM

Married and miserable is worse because when you're married and you and the wife are pissed off at each other, I doubt you'll get any until the issue resolves. If you are single, you can still go out there and get some to cheer up your miserable life (a temporary escape if you will). I mean, yeah, you can do this while married too, but I wouldn't endorse it.

[Edited on August 19, 2009 at 4:41 PM. Reason : .]

8/19/2009 4:40:56 PM

Quote :

"if your gf doesnt like you hanging out with your friends now, chances are good she wont like it ever dump her and dump her quick"

8/19/2009 4:41:22 PM

I love sex, but I hate everything else about women

Why would I subject myself to a lifetime of pain and suffering ?



oh yeah I hate kids too

8/19/2009 4:41:35 PM

indeed ^^

^ marriage isnt for everyone. just like college isnt for everyone

[Edited on August 19, 2009 at 4:42 PM. Reason : shfjdfsh]

8/19/2009 4:41:40 PM

i think growing old and dying single with no family to care about you, would be the worst.



that said, enjoy being single (even the miserable parts) while you still can.

8/19/2009 4:42:01 PM

^ word.

Wife and I don't want kids. We wonder wtf we're going to do with all of our assests after we go...

Probably donate most of it to charity I guess.

[Edited on August 19, 2009 at 4:43 PM. Reason : .]

8/19/2009 4:42:27 PM

Quote :

"my group of friends have gotten really couple centric in the past year to year and a half as well. i really wish it hadn't. i have a girlfriend so i'm not excluded but there are occasions where i still want to go out and chill with it just being the guys, alas, my friends are too pussy whipped to come out and tell their girls they want to do that so it never comes to fruition. the fault lays with the men just as much as with the women. if guy friends would actually man up, stop being so afraid of their wife/girlfriend's and go out solo every once and a while there wouldn't be this whole single vs. coupled dynamic where the singles are usually alienated."

This just tends to occur when you get past the age of 21/22. I just hit 23 and this summer I went to what felt like a wedding every 2-3 weeks. A few of the guys I saw getting married would still go out every 2 weeks or so and didn't get much hell for it before the wedding... but once you move into a house with the girl it's all over and done. I think out of the 6 weddings I went to, I've only seen one of the friends since their wedding and that was to help the fucker move into his new house.

Best gf I ever had a couple years back, we had a setup where one day a week we'd do whatever we want, she'd go shopping/girls night (bleh) with her friends and I'd hit up a bar with mine. Worked out great. Too bad she got fat. :\

8/19/2009 4:43:42 PM

See, when women list the virtues of marriage to me, I'm sure I give them that confused puppy dog look, because they're generally speaking in a different language to me.

No, I can assure you, having someone to come home to is not an automatic virtue.

8/19/2009 4:44:13 PM

i do not understand this concept of not seeing your friends once married or living with your SO...we see our friends at least 3-4 days/evenings out of the week & weekend unless we go out of town.

and we've got a lot of friends between the two of us, and my family lives nearby...so spreading the love around gets crazy-busy if we're hanging out with people together or just one on one.

maybe we're just different (AND SUPER AWESOME! w00t! )...or maybe it's just b/c i'm not seeing it from an outside perspective. *shrug*

and i'm not talking about when we first got together, b/c naturally we were up each other's butt and couldn't get enough of one another...i'm talking established relationships here.

[Edited on August 19, 2009 at 4:52 PM. Reason : ]

8/19/2009 4:50:54 PM

Quote :

"we see our friends"

8/19/2009 4:54:13 PM

i agree, we spend a good amount of time with friends, family and mutual friends. getting time together alone is premium and certainly not always expected.

we also live a 40min drive apart so we're not together 24/7... that helps foster the "do your own thing" lifestyle during the week. marriage is different though since you're living together but i still see having separate activities going on

8/19/2009 4:56:23 PM

Quote :

" Quote : "we see our friends" "

[Edited on August 19, 2009 at 4:57 PM. Reason : fuk]

8/19/2009 4:56:45 PM