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 Message Boards » » everybody go look at the moon Page [1] 2, Next  
Optimum
All American
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12/1/2009 11:11:59 PM

kiljadn
All American
44701 Posts
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I approve of this thread.

[Edited on December 1, 2009 at 11:12 PM. Reason : big ol' white girl booty]

12/1/2009 11:12:30 PM

wawebste
All American
19599 Posts
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Quote :
"BOOTS

WITH

FUR"

12/1/2009 11:12:39 PM

punchmonk
Double Entendre
22300 Posts
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I am curious, Optimum. On a scale of 1-10, 10 being highest, 1 being lowest, what would rate that girl's caboose?

12/1/2009 11:14:07 PM

wawebste
All American
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Optimum, you done been called out

12/1/2009 11:14:52 PM

MaximaDrvr

10412 Posts
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Personally, I would rate it a 5. There are a lot worse, but there are a lot better.

12/1/2009 11:15:14 PM

Optimum
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i'd have to go with a 3 or 4. i personally prefer to see an ass that sticks out a bit, something you can grab hold of in the heat of the moment. she's got more plains than curves back there.

12/1/2009 11:17:33 PM

punchmonk
Double Entendre
22300 Posts
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12/1/2009 11:20:43 PM

Optimum
All American
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hold up, hold up. why'd i just get a sadface?

12/1/2009 11:21:23 PM

Fermat
All American
47007 Posts
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Quote :
"3 or 4"


the bullshit's deep and warm on the internet tonight

12/1/2009 11:22:41 PM

wawebste
All American
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punchmonk feels inadequate after your description mayhaps?

12/1/2009 11:22:43 PM

begonias
warning: not serious
19585 Posts
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tan lines

12/1/2009 11:22:48 PM

wawebste
All American
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^you judgin'?

12/1/2009 11:23:30 PM

Rat Soup
All American
7669 Posts
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FUCK THE MOON. FUCK THAT GAY ASS MOON. PAINT A DICK ON THE MOON SO IT TROLLS PLANET EARTH. DESTROY THE MOON AND RUIN THE TIDES. END MY LIFE ON A LOW NOTE.

12/1/2009 11:23:49 PM

wawebste
All American
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^Why you gotta bring "DICK" into all this???

12/1/2009 11:24:47 PM

Optimum
All American
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Quote :
"the bullshit's deep and warm on the internet tonight"


hey, i'm much better at judging male asses, ok? no need to hate!

12/1/2009 11:25:21 PM

Rat Soup
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PAINT TITTIES ON THE MOON WITH DICKS COMING OUT OF THE NIPLES AND SHIT COMING OUT OF THOSE DICKS IF YOU FANCY

12/1/2009 11:25:41 PM

punchmonk
Double Entendre
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<------ she's got more plains than curves back there

I, too, am not a fan of those tan lines.

12/1/2009 11:25:48 PM

begonias
warning: not serious
19585 Posts
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Quote :
"^you judgin'?"


yes.

12/1/2009 11:26:27 PM

wawebste
All American
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you tell'em punchmonk

^I'd have to see some qualifications before we can allow that nonsense.

[Edited on December 1, 2009 at 11:27 PM. Reason : .]

12/1/2009 11:26:33 PM

Optimum
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but punchmonk, i've never seen your "back there"

and if that line of conversation goes any further, qntmken will stop following me on Twitter.

12/1/2009 11:27:10 PM

Rat Soup
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12/1/2009 11:28:13 PM

begonias
warning: not serious
19585 Posts
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^^^there's a pretty sweet pic of my (tan line free) ass around here somewhere

[Edited on December 1, 2009 at 11:28 PM. Reason : SERIOUSLY SWEET]

12/1/2009 11:28:15 PM

wawebste
All American
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^words....

12/1/2009 11:29:38 PM

Optimum
All American
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don't judge me

12/1/2009 11:33:12 PM

Shadowrunner
All American
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12/1/2009 11:34:35 PM

wawebste
All American
19599 Posts
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you sir, are above judgment

12/1/2009 11:34:47 PM

Fermat
All American
47007 Posts
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only thing as sexy as a nice healthy bush are some well defined tan lines. its like all the good parts are highlighted for me! something is wrong with you internet people

12/1/2009 11:35:48 PM

Rat Soup
All American
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NOTHING LIKE AN ASS COVERED IN HAIR.

12/1/2009 11:43:32 PM

Optimum
All American
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Quote :
"Don't Shave That Hair!!!
I have recently made a mistake in my life, and I offer my story to you, that you may learn from my error. It all started, as many things do, with me having trouble shitting.

No, I was not constipated; this was not a regularity problem but a matter of technique. It seems my ass-hair had grown to such a length that tiny grogans were constantly getting tied up in the matted jungle between my asscheeks. It led to much frustration, with me KNOWING that I still had something to drop, but unable to shake the tenacious turd loose from its butthair dwelling. Eventually I would have to do two things: either reach down with some paper and try to pinch off the lingering loaf (which required careful precision to avoid smearing the creature all over my rear, especially since I had no way of seeing what I was doing) or just go for broke, start wiping, and hope that I could remove all the leftover fecal matter before the toilet paper reached its Can't-Be-Flushed threshold.

I was contemplating this problem, when I had what seemed at the time to be a bright idea. "Hey! This is my butt and my butt-hair, right? So why don't I just eliminate all the hair, and then my grogans will flow out like beer from a keg!" I said to myself. It is a statement that will go down in history with a lot of other regretted statements. "How many Indians could there be?" said by General Custer. "Looks like a good day for a drive!" by JFK. "There! America On-Line now has complete Usenet access!" by some idiot system tech. Such was my anal shaving idea.

I performed the operation that night, with a cheap disposable razor and a towel to sit on. Starting from the bottom, and shaving from the crack to the cheeks, I began the arduous process of ridding my ass of hair. Occassionally, I would have to clean the razor of accumulated hair and miscellaneous slime, which I did by wiping it on the towel. Slowly, my twin mounds and the between-ravine began to resemble the hairless cheeks of a newborn baby. Finally, I wiped the razor one last time, and surveyed my work. The towel was covered with a pile of hair. My ass was smooth as ivory. I smiled, satisfied, thinking my troubles were over.

Little did I know.

I now have a great respect for anal-hair. Like everything in this world God created, it has its mighty purpose in existence. It was only after I had removed it that I started to learn how much I had been taking it for granted. For one, it provides friction. I learned this the next day, when I walked out into the sun heading for class. After climbing two flights of stairs and starting to sweat, I started to notice something unpleasant. The sweat was accumulating in my crack, and was causing the unpleasant sensation of my two asscheeks sliding past each other with every step. I thought about going to the bathroom and wiping it off, but had to get to class. Eventually, I thought, it would dry.

Unfortunately, it did dry, but only after mingling with the microscopic shit- molecules lingering around my brown starfish. When I stood up after class, my cheeks were stuck together with a slimy sticky shit/sweat combination. As I made my way back to my dorm, it started to itch. God-DAMN, did it itch! Felt like a swarm of ants was making its way up and down my crack. Fighting to keep from jamming my hand down there and scratching away, I rushed back to the dorm.

Unfortunately again, this exertion caused me to sweat, and when I finally reached my room, my cheeks were sliding back and forth against each other like a pair of horny cane-toads. I quickly dropped my pants, and attempted to dry my ass off by sticking it in front of a fan and spreading my cheeks. As I pulled the two mounds of flesh apart, a horrible stench burst free and filled the room. Every dog within a 4 block radius started to howl. I had it worst of all, as the ripe aroma of festering shit/sweat went into the fan and blew back into my face. I fought to keep from heaving. And as I sat there, fighting vomit, my ass cheeks spread and dripping, with the concentrated aroma of my body odor mixed with the tangy smell of my own shit blowing right into my face, I had only one thought: "It will be like this until the hair grows back. Weeks."

Later on, trying to deal as best I could, wiping my ass at every opportunity, I discovered another wonderful use for ass-hair - ventilation. I attempted to launch a fart, only to have it get stuck between my asscheeks. Apparently, with no hair, the two pink twins can get vacuum sealed together, and the result was a frustrating fart that slid up and down between my cheeks like a lost gerbil.

As if that wasn't enough, I am now enduring further torture. As anyone who has ever shaved anything knows, when hair is first growing in, it comes in as stubble. Imagine your ass having the texture of a brillo pad. Well, that is what I am dealing with now. It is a hellish torture, and there are many times when I just look out the window and contemplate why I shouldn't just jump out and get it all over with in one fleshy splat, rather than endure this constant agony.

Friends, DON'T SHAVE YOUR ASS-HAIR!"

12/2/2009 12:09:47 AM

Fermat
All American
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Usenet

burst free

grogans

12/2/2009 12:24:55 AM

Rat Soup
All American
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^^ haha was that guy never at an age when you don't have ass hair and everything is fine? he has to be some kind of grotesque troll-like creature to have those problems. i'm sure it would itch like hell when that shit was growing back in. idk why he wouldn't just trim his ass hair with scissors or something

12/2/2009 1:45:53 PM

kiljadn
All American
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yeah, and it also sounds like dude didn't LEARN HOW TO WIPE if he's still got shit in his ass that combines with sweat

12/2/2009 6:39:24 PM

Rat Soup
All American
7669 Posts
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i mean every guy has had mud butt, but i've never had it as severe as what this guy is describing

12/2/2009 6:52:43 PM

Optimum
All American
13716 Posts
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can we get back to the ass pics already?

12/2/2009 7:00:46 PM

LunaK
LOSER :(
23634 Posts
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^ you sound like djeternal

12/2/2009 7:01:12 PM

Optimum
All American
13716 Posts
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next up on YOUR TWW, the quest for da booty goes gay!


oh, wait

12/2/2009 7:02:27 PM

khcadwal
All American
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i don't like that butt in the OP. no offense. kinda a flat butt.

this one looks like it has more potential.

12/2/2009 7:04:42 PM

Rat Soup
All American
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yes let's get back to the ass pics

12/2/2009 7:06:20 PM

Optimum
All American
13716 Posts
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not cool dude, not cool.

12/2/2009 7:06:45 PM

LunaK
LOSER :(
23634 Posts
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ahhhhhhhh my eyes

12/2/2009 7:07:06 PM

Optimum
All American
13716 Posts
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moving along













moving along

12/2/2009 7:12:40 PM

Rat Soup
All American
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i rule so hard

12/2/2009 7:21:06 PM

khcadwal
All American
35165 Posts
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no way i rule i found the good moon

12/2/2009 7:22:04 PM

Rat Soup
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12/2/2009 7:24:25 PM

Optimum
All American
13716 Posts
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assopotomus!

12/2/2009 7:36:24 PM

Rat Soup
All American
7669 Posts
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for some reason it reminds me of this

12/2/2009 7:42:54 PM

Optimum
All American
13716 Posts
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a lot of my threads seem to spontaneously turn into Futurama, for some reason.


back to the nice ass pics (this time without anything disgusting going on, k?)

12/2/2009 7:47:12 PM

Rat Soup
All American
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^ that's asking a lot of me

12/2/2009 7:52:34 PM

Optimum
All American
13716 Posts
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I know you can be good.

12/2/2009 8:00:47 PM

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