Anyone ever really do it right? Try to? Want to? Don't want to? Question mark?

I don't know, just pretend like there's discussion value here.

1/27/2010 4:05:27 PM

I've done it. It's way better than a normal relationship, but only if you're a very specific kind of person.

1/27/2010 4:07:19 PM

is that having lots of relationships at once?

1/27/2010 4:09:31 PM

I realize this thread is about those who have tried polyamory.... which I have not. Hear me out, maybe I can offer some insight.

I am in outside sales, which is currently salary+commission, but will move into straight commission starting at the beginning of July 2010. I have been in this position since July 2009. I have competition from several direct manufacturing sales reps, large distributors, and local distributors. Here are the advantages and disadvantages of each:

Direct Advantages: Immediate knowledge of new technology, no middle man mark up, one shipping bill (paid by manufacturer or buyer of goods), access to larger range of non-commodity items, control inventory, have access to many distributors that can effectively sell their goods which increases market share, and set prices of commodity they manufacture.

Direct disadvantages: Typically have 1-3 sales reps per region (i.e. southeast, mid-atlantic, northeast, etc.) limiting the number of accounts they can successfully manage/cold-call, lack physical customer service or physical technical service available to or affordable for smaller users or altogether, are sometimes not trustworthy because they will go in behind their distributors that sell their commodity to one account in large quantities (i.e. they missed a big account, and have found out about it through a distributor selling their particular product) which leads to the distributor not selling their product anymore, have too many distributors selling the product ultimately driving the set price down through deviations, possibly rely on distributors to actually sell the product, and competition from other direct sources.

Large distributor advantages: have access to other commodities that go hand in hand with other manufacturers (poor example- grocery stores sell milk as well as cereal), get direct pricing, many locations regionally or nationally easing the shipping burden of buyers with multiple locations, personal service either customer or technical, many sales reps that are able to cover a broader territory, access to multiple manufacturers of the same commodity allowing to keep prices in check, service programs that smaller companies can't offer and direct providers can't match in price or value, and experts of many many commodities as opposed to one or a few.

Large distributor disadvantages: smaller local distributors creating price wars (think Michael Scott Paper Co vs Dunder-Mifflin), direct mfg's going in behind and stealing business, limited access to all of the mfg's (you won't find Harris Teeter name brands in Food Lion and visa versa), can't truly set prices because it's based on both supply and demand, territory management, and tough growth prospects in slower economies (this is true for direct as well really)

Local distributor advantages: Typically a good ol' boy setting where the seller and the buyer know each other for years (this does happen at all levels, but mostly at the local level), local folks are right down the street and can be used in emergencies, if the local guy buys at high enough volumes then there is no shipping charge to the end user, and access to both direct mfg's and large distributors.

Local distributor disadvantages: easily beaten in price, array of commodities, array of technology, lack of trained staff, low cash flow, etc etc etc.

This is what I have noticed in my six months, I am sure there are plenty more that need mentioning. The way I am setting myself apart as a sales person is this: I go after the big accounts right now while I am new. The big accounts, if I land them, will take care of me while I am new and building a customer base. The money made off of those allows me to focus free time on smaller accounts that get me higher margins. I build up big accounts, I would like to have 5-10 of these, then get 20-30 medium accounts. If I lose 1 or 2 big accounts, the 20-30 medium accounts keep me afloat while I go after new big accounts. I don't really waste time on small accounts simply because they basically pay for breakfast or something really small.

I will say this, if you can't get a big account in the first 6-8 months (assuming you have cash flow that you can ride this long) you could be in a world of trouble. If you can get one, it will really make going after the others a lot more enjoyable and less stressful. It's simply just very exhausting wasting any time on anything other than big accounts in the very beginning. You work just as hard on the medium sized accounts and see 1/3 to 1/36 of the money in my situation.

If you have any other questions, you can PM me. I hope this helps in the slightest!

1/27/2010 4:10:16 PM

1/27/2010 4:11:38 PM

^^So much potential unrealized.

But, still, gg.

1/27/2010 4:12:07 PM

works out well!

1/27/2010 4:12:59 PM

Quote :

"is that having lots of relationships at once?"

Yeah but with the added condition that everybody involved know about it

1/27/2010 4:20:18 PM

and accept it.

1/27/2010 4:20:51 PM

1/27/2010 4:21:08 PM

I wish I got a do-over of my 20's because, to be honest, this is the only way to do things when you're young

1/27/2010 4:22:39 PM

it ain't like they're over

1/27/2010 4:24:18 PM

27 is the tipping point of your 20's

You can't make wholesale changes after your turn 27

Before that, its anything goes

1/27/2010 4:25:23 PM

^^

1/27/2010 4:28:14 PM

Louis CK Schtick

"When you're married you think, now I can't leave. I mean I wasn't thinking of leaving but I'm married so I can't just get up and go. Then you have a kid and you're like I coulda fucking left. Door was right there the whole fucking time...."

1/27/2010 4:29:42 PM

Quote :

"it ain't like they're over"

That's why this is how I roll now

1/27/2010 4:32:26 PM

My take on the whole deal is that it might be cool now, but drama is sure to come sooner than later.

1/27/2010 4:36:21 PM

All relationships end in drama though.

1/27/2010 4:37:18 PM

some girls are cool with it

a smaller subset of these girls are cool with it when they catch the feelings

1/27/2010 4:37:35 PM

^^ yeah, but this is a whole different level of drama. and possibly several different levels.

^ that's what I was getting at. it'll be cool until one of them falls in love with you.

[Edited on January 27, 2010 at 4:39 PM. Reason : a]

1/27/2010 4:38:36 PM

Quote :

"All relationships end in drama though."

ding ding ding ding

1/27/2010 4:39:02 PM

It's kind of like having a fuck buddy. At first it's all "damn, this is awesome! We just fuck and that's it, no strings, no relationship BS". Next thing you know she is slapping the shit out of you in a crowded bar for talking to another chick.

1/27/2010 4:40:35 PM

Quote :

"Next thing you know she is slapping the shit out of you in a crowded bar for talking to another chick."

Yeah if you're 19

1/27/2010 4:42:28 PM

Crazy has no age limit

1/27/2010 4:45:12 PM

no, but the dudes willing to put up with that crap do

[Edited on January 27, 2010 at 4:45 PM. Reason : s/n agreement]

1/27/2010 4:45:44 PM

Quote :

"no, but the dudes willing to put up with that crap do"

ding ding ding ding

1/27/2010 4:46:41 PM

seems to me, the older i get the more of the unstable girls that there are out there left to date

it's like, most of the ones not wifed up by now harbor bananas

1/27/2010 4:46:45 PM

this is true

i'm just making the point that just because she seems "like a cool chick that can handle it", doesn't mean it won't blow up in your face. they all start off as "cool chicks that can handle it".

1/27/2010 4:47:26 PM

most of the women my age who are married already and/or have been for awhile are completely bananas. and needy.

1/27/2010 4:47:49 PM

Quote :

"doesn't mean it won't blow up in your face. they all start off as "cool chicks that can handle it"."

And the beauty of having >1 woman? You can tell the crazy ones to fuck off and still have options

I mean, so what if it blows up in your face? Man enough for >1 woman = man enough to deal with crazy and not be ruined or ballbusted by it.

1/27/2010 4:49:40 PM

ok, i have to admit i draw crazy girls.

(and like it)

1/27/2010 4:49:57 PM

it has nothing to do with being ruined by it

i just don't see why anyone would want to even subject themselves to that kind of potential for drama.

but maybe that's just me

1/27/2010 4:51:05 PM

Quote :

"You can tell the crazy ones to fuck off and still have options"

all women are crazy

1/27/2010 4:52:07 PM

^Ok, insert 'bad kind of' before 'crazy'

Quote :

"i just don't see why anyone would want to even subject themselves to that kind of potential for drama. "

Uh, because it's a part of life? You date women, right? Then you're subjecting yourself to that potential.

Quote :

"it has nothing to do with being ruined by it "

Basically, my response to your concern about it blowing up in one's face is: "So?"

[Edited on January 27, 2010 at 4:54 PM. Reason : shit happens, yo.]

1/27/2010 4:53:41 PM

fuck it

1/27/2010 4:55:28 PM

i agree with djeternal

i have a hard enough time dealing with one woman worth of crazy

i can't imagine trying to keep two or three happy and quiet

[Edited on January 27, 2010 at 4:57 PM. Reason : dafsd]

1/27/2010 4:56:43 PM

Quote :

"i can't imagine trying to keep two or three happy and quiet "

You don't have to.

That's their damn job.

1/27/2010 4:58:10 PM

Quote :

"That's their damn job."

But rarely do they perform it.

1/27/2010 5:00:25 PM

...Doesn't make it someone else's job.

Just someone else's problem, if that someone else allows it.

1/27/2010 5:01:48 PM

easy for you to say, you're a broad

1/27/2010 5:06:50 PM

I suppose?

That statement is just another facet of the 10% action; 90% reaction maxim about life.

1/27/2010 5:08:37 PM

Most women willing to consent to this are less crazy

Just putting that out there, but then again I'm the only one here with experience doing this so let's listen to the traditionalists instead

1/27/2010 5:11:21 PM

Quote :

"Most women willing to consent to this are less crazy"

AAAAAAHHHHHHH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

good one, dude

1/27/2010 5:13:06 PM

Quote :

"AAAAAAHHHHHHH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA good one, dude"

I'm being serious, but then again you're the one with tons of experience doing this and not me, right?

1/27/2010 5:13:31 PM

Nah, i know better than to even try to pull it off.

1/27/2010 5:14:05 PM

I wouldn't say 'less crazy'. I'd say they've re-distributed their crazy from the default arrangement.

1/27/2010 5:14:18 PM

Quote :

"I wouldn't say 'less crazy'. I'd say they've re-distributed their crazy from the default arrangement."

The craziness is less relevant to me

then again i only see women who have things goin on in their lives, so it tends to cut down on the amount of free energy they have to create problems out of thin air

1/27/2010 5:15:58 PM

I'm going to refrain from commenting on this thread for fear that punchmonk will judge me.

1/27/2010 5:19:21 PM

I have polyamorous neighbors.

like, next-door neighbors.

fo' srs.

1/27/2010 5:28:16 PM

set em up

1/27/2010 5:28:36 PM