I know I risk some epic trolling here, but I wanted to share a link to the webcomic I've been doing with my girlfriend for a few months. The comics are 'slice-of-life' semi-autobiographical pieces whose titles/ themes come from fortune cookie fortunes.

My girlfriend does the artwork and some of the writing. I do most of the writing and all the computer layouts.

We update every Monday evening/ Tuesday morning.

http://carveyournamecomics.wordpress.com/

10/26/2010 5:55:41 PM

No offense, but right off the bat, the artwork is really poor. It looks like a kid in middle school drew it.

I wouldn't give it a second look if I was just scrolling through comics, but I'll read some of them to see how it is.

10/26/2010 6:01:06 PM

^ Thanks for the comment. Most of the feedback we've gotten has been pretty positive regarding the artwork. We are not going for a sleek-looking Marvel/ DC type of comic here. There is a wide variety of styles in the "indie-comic" genre. Take someone like Jeffrey Brown, he gets by on a very rough art style that looks pretty bad at first but then reveals it's charms. Another example, Lynda Barry does very child-like drawings, and that's part of her appeal.

10/26/2010 6:10:17 PM

Is this serious?

10/26/2010 6:11:49 PM

I wanted to share a link to the webcomic that I've been doing with my girlfriend for a few months




is what you should have said.

10/26/2010 6:12:24 PM

I think we need pics of said girlfriend.

10/26/2010 6:13:14 PM

wow, thanks for fulfilling my expectations of epic trolling! i can always count on the wolfweb for a nice dose of haterade

10/26/2010 7:07:16 PM

Are you sure you aren't this guy?
http://www.cogsdev.org/cwcki/Main_Page

10/26/2010 7:52:57 PM

^ definitely made me LOL

10/26/2010 8:16:16 PM

well at least you managed to find a boyfriend-free girl to make into a sweetheart from the ground-up

10/26/2010 9:12:53 PM

too wordy

10/27/2010 12:33:46 AM

tons of shit going on in each pane + tons of word = a quick loss of interest. the one i read wasnt that funny either. sorry bro, try your hand at something else.

10/27/2010 12:40:02 AM

I actually read your comic every so often, though now i cant remember how I got your link in my book marks. maybe you were featured on a blog i read somewhere?

anyways, I actually like it. i personally like the artwork and think the concept is pretty cool. though really a few them are a bit wordy for a comic stip, but a few people have already mentioned that. so far these two are my favorites (the teen mom one kinda hit close to home ).

http://carveyournamecomics.files.wordpress.com/2010/07/page_14.jpg

http://carveyournamecomics.files.wordpress.com/2010/08/page_111.jpg

PS* you might want to blow up the size of the fortune in the layout. Sometimes i forget they're there.

[Edited on October 27, 2010 at 1:18 AM. Reason : ``]

[Edited on October 27, 2010 at 1:19 AM. Reason : ``]

10/27/2010 1:17:24 AM

the banner looks bad

is it a pen drawing scanned?

make that shit in illustrator, dog.

10/27/2010 1:19:48 AM

This is great feedback. I definitely wanna start being more conscious of the comics being too wordy and try to allow the images to speak for themselves more.

I also agree with making the fortunes more prominent. This is always something I struggle with each week when doing the layouts.

And, yes, the banner is a pen drawing scanned in. We got the site up really quickly. Harvey Pekar's death inspired us to get going, and we wanted to get the comic up the day he died. I agree that we should update it with something more professional looking.

Thanks again yall... keep it coming. We're still getting our feet wet and learning what does and does not work. It will be interesting to see how it evolves over time.

10/27/2010 1:31:15 AM

maybe i'm a glutton for punishment, but here is this week's comic: http://carveyournamecomics.wordpress.com/2010/11/09/cync-15-great-day-ahead/

I tried to take your advice, particularly a) cutting down on wordiness, and b) making fortunes more prominent. The artwork stays the same because I love it, and it fits the comic.

11/9/2010 2:05:29 AM

Quote :

"I know I risk some epic trolling here, but I wanted to share a link to the webcomic I've been doing with my girlfriend for a few months"

You're right; you do risk some epic trolling here.

If you enjoy doing it, just do it.

11/9/2010 7:08:32 AM

Its clear a lot of effort is put into the artwork, though I wouldn't say its particularly good.
The characters are only drawn in 100% profile and 100% frontal viewpoints.
There are a lot of little details, but it just comes off as busy.
You don't need to fill all the space in each panel with art or even texture.
Having to blow up the comic to read it is inconvenient.
Some of the depicted situations are creative and resonate, but the dialoge is not clever to the point of entertainment.

I'd suggest a much, MUCH simpler drawing style. Expressive, animated stick figures are easier to draw and more enjoyable than wooden figures that somewhat resemble actual people. You want to accentuate the body language and facial emotions, not clothing patterns or hair styles. You can just as easily depict "slice-of-life" situations with very simple drawings.

I am a snob when it comes to webcomics.

[Edited on November 9, 2010 at 9:50 AM. Reason : ..]

11/9/2010 9:46:41 AM

^ Cool, definitely appreciate the detailed feedback. I don't see us ever going to stick-figures, but I think we can incorporate some of your suggestions, particularly more detailed body language and facial expressions.

With that said, I don't think it's completely accurate that all the characters's are 100% profile, front view. Maybe I'm misunderstanding your point, but check these two out... they don't seem to fit that characterization to me:

http://carveyournamecomics.wordpress.com/2010/07/19/cync-2-now-is-a-good-time-for-a-new-collection/

http://carveyournamecomics.files.wordpress.com/2010/08/page_12.jpg

Thanks again for the constructive criticism.

[Edited on November 9, 2010 at 10:37 AM. Reason : gg]

11/9/2010 10:31:05 AM

Quote :

"With that said, I don't think it's completely accurate that all the characters's are 100% profile, front view. Maybe I'm misunderstanding your point, but check these two out... they don't seem to fit that characterization to me:"

1. All your characters are at 90 degree angles... even the ones you just posted.

2. It took me a long time to know how to deal with criticism and it's not easy. Trying to justify/defend yourself when you asked for opinions is not the appropriate response.

[Edited on November 9, 2010 at 11:03 AM. Reason : asdfadsf]

11/9/2010 11:03:21 AM

I don't get the "Great Day Ahead" one that is up now.

Am I missing something?

11/9/2010 11:11:39 AM

Quote :

"make that shit in illustrator, dog."

If not, then please simplify the color on the illustrations. I looked at a few a number of times trying to put my finger on what bothered me visually about them, and I think it's that the colors are all the fuck over the place.

For example: In the first frame of #15, you've got multiple colors in the rain, a bed spread and pillow with a bunch of different shades, and large chunks that were just left with nothing. Some see that as stylized, but I see that as distracting.

It wouldn't be a big deal if you had some great/compelling/funny story going on, but the text had me immediately bored and looking to the art for something compelling.

Also, it might help to work on the art of the bodies/faces. My point here again is that there's a clear line between stylized characters and attempts at realism that fall short. No offense, but I think these fall toward the latter category.

11/9/2010 11:15:45 AM

^^ yeah I don't get it either

[Edited on November 9, 2010 at 11:16 AM. Reason : .]

11/9/2010 11:16:11 AM

Too many words.

Not just a few too many words, but way too many words.

11/9/2010 11:16:54 AM

Quote :

"2. It took me a long time to know how to deal with criticism and it's not easy. Trying to justify/defend yourself when you asked for opinions is not the appropriate response."

Apologies if this came across as overly defensive. I was trying to make sure I understood the criticism so I could work on it. Also, I hope it's clear that I asked for and appreciate this feedback.

Quote :

"Too many words. Not just a few too many words, but way too many words."

Yes, I agree and I'm working on using fewer words. I assume you're referring to older comics and not the newest one? The newest one has very few words relative to older issues.

Quote :

"I don't get the "Great Day Ahead" one that is up now. Am I missing something?"

There's not really anything to "get". This isn't a joke-based comic. It's a slice-of-life comic depicting/ describing everyday activities that most people can hopefully relate to. We use fortune cookies to form the base of the comic. In this case, the 'great day ahead' fortune provides the context for this being a description of my ideal day.

In response to the artwork critiques, my girlfriend does the drawing/ coloring, so I'll share your feedback with her.

Thanks again... seriously

11/9/2010 11:48:56 AM

Quote :

"There's not really anything to "get". This isn't a joke-based comic. It's a slice-of-life comic depicting/ describing everyday activities that most people can hopefully relate to."

I guess I am missing the point then.

I keep trying to figure out how the concept of a webcoming that doesnt want to be funny, but is based in the same realm as Seinfeld was.

What is your intended hook? What do you imagine will be the thing(s) that will keep people coming back for more?

11/9/2010 12:04:14 PM

Quote :

"This isn't a joke-based comic."

Yet there seem to be attempts at jokes scattered throughout. I like the basic concept of hammering some life situation into a visual representation of a fortune cookie message, but these comics seem to do only that: hammer an otherwise unrelated and relatively uninteresting situation into something that sort of fits what the fortune cookie message is saying.

The concept has promise, but for me, it lies within using genuinely funny situations. I'm not sure many people want to come back again and again seeing lifeless and humorless representations of shit they experience every day. While they may be relatable, that doesn't make them interesting.

I say try out a couple short test strips that try to be funnier, or hell, just keep doing your thing...I don't have to read it, and my opinion will be lost in this thread in a matter of hours.

11/9/2010 12:15:59 PM

^^ Although the current comic is fairly devoid of humor and witty dialogue, some of the strips certainly have funny elements:

Quote :

"http://carveyournamecomics.wordpress.com/2010/09/06/cync-8-learn-chinese-swimming/"

Quote :

"http://carveyournamecomics.wordpress.com/2010/08/24/cync-6-panda-express-celebrates-20-years-of-yummy/"

For the most part the "hook" is hoping that readers can relate to situations/ issues in my life and enjoy the strip as a function of shared human experience. Certainly, it probably appeals more to people who know me, and I acknowledgement the ego-centric nature of the comic. I also think that having the comics based on fortune cookie fortunes is a unique element that will draw people back. Some of my favorite autobiographical comic writers are Harvey Pekar, Chester Brown, Joe Matt, and Seth. I am by no means suggesting that my work is in the same ballpark as theirs, but perhaps that will orient you to the angle I'm going for.

[Edited on November 9, 2010 at 12:20 PM. Reason : g]

11/9/2010 12:19:19 PM

Sorry for double-posts. BoondockSt, very nicely put. Thanks for the specific feedback. We have a couple comics in the pipeline that I think are pretty funny. We'll try those out, see what happens, and move forward. This is all a hobby and something we do for fun... not anything we're trying to make money off. But I still believe it's important to get feedback and not get stuck in ways of doing things just because it appeals to us.

11/9/2010 12:30:58 PM

It doesn't have to be funny, but it does have to be interesting. "I had a good day because a string of vaguely pleasing, mostly banal things happened...my life is pretty all right" doesn't interest me.

11/9/2010 12:50:13 PM

Quote :

"Yes, I agree and I'm working on using fewer words. I assume you're referring to older comics and not the newest one? The newest one has very few words relative to older issues."

Even the newest one has too many, because of what they are. If the art is expressive in a comic, there should be no need for words to narrate and explain what's going on. You're not going for complicated story arcs that require exposition. You've got a cat saying "Mee-yawn," and you're explaining to me that the cat is "greeting you with meow-yawns." Unnecessary.

Quote :

"While they may be relatable, that doesn't make them interesting."

This. I read a number of them and they're just not interesting to me.

Quote :

"I also think that having the comics based on fortune cookie fortunes is a unique element that will draw people back."

To be honest, I didn't even see the fortune cookie in the most recent one you linked. For anyone who is used to reading webcomics, our eyes are going to be drawn immediately to the first frame. I had to go back a second time after reading what you said about them to see where the fortune was. Just because it's top and center doesn't mean it catches the eye.

11/9/2010 1:27:33 PM

Quote :

"To be honest, I didn't even see the fortune cookie in the most recent one you linked. For anyone who is used to reading webcomics, our eyes are going to be drawn immediately to the first frame. I had to go back a second time after reading what you said about them to see where the fortune was. Just because it's top and center doesn't mean it catches the eye. "

Thats a really valid comment.

Just a suggestion, but maybe make the fortune cookie part of the comic, like always the first frame or something?

11/9/2010 1:30:44 PM

^ and ^^ great idea having the fortune cookie with the fortune as the first panel. we'll try that out next week.

11/9/2010 1:34:03 PM