joe_schmoe All American 18758 Posts user info edit post |
Please Note: when in Albuquerque, NM, stay the fuck away from the Sunflower Farmer's Market
Quote : | "WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 9:
"Laboratory tests have confirmed that semen found in a yogurt sample consumed by a New Mexico woman matches the DNA of a grocery store employee who was suspected in the tainting case."
Long story short: In January, a 28-year-old female shopper at Albuquerque's Sunflower Farmers Market was approached by a pushy man offering her a yogurt sample, which tasted horrifyingly like semen. The woman alerted cops, the cops got a search warrant authorizing the collection of a DNA sample from the yogurt-pusher, and the presence of semen and the identity of its producer were confirmed. Having positively linked 31-year-old Anthony Garcia to the spoogey yogurt, authorities are mulling whether to charge him at a state or federal level.
THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 10
The week continues with another story involving Sunflower Farmers Market, previously mentioned as the site of the spermy yogurt assault, and today linked to something even worse, as the CEO of Sunflower Farmers Market—52-year-old Michael Gilliland—was arrested in a child-prostitution sting in Phoenix.
"Gilliland was one of eight people arrested in the sting," reports CNN affiliate KNXV. "He is accused of soliciting sex online from a girl who identified herself as a minor." Gilliland has resigned as CEO of Sunflower Farmers Market.
-- http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/last-days/Content?oid=6782624 " |
[Edited on February 22, 2011 at 12:57 PM. Reason : ]2/22/2011 12:57:37 PM |
Skwinkle burritotomyface 19447 Posts user info edit post |
They're going to need a really good PR rep to recover from this. 2/22/2011 12:59:16 PM |
Skack All American 31140 Posts user info edit post |
I wonder how she knew what it tasted like. 2/22/2011 12:59:37 PM |
Shadowrunner All American 18332 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | "SPOOGEY
YOGURT
AUTHORITIES" |
2/22/2011 1:00:05 PM |
ThePeter TWW CHAMPION 37709 Posts user info edit post |
nvm
[Edited on February 22, 2011 at 1:05 PM. Reason : tard] 2/22/2011 1:05:13 PM |
joe_schmoe All American 18758 Posts user info edit post |
in the link, you have to look past the story about the rooster who stabbed a guy to death.
[Edited on February 22, 2011 at 1:07 PM. Reason : ] 2/22/2011 1:06:03 PM |
joe_schmoe All American 18758 Posts user info edit post |
to continue.... Please Note: also stay the fuck away from cockfighting organizations.
Quote : | "MONDAY, FEBRUARY 7
This week ... kicks off with a blast of instant karma, as experienced by the man in Central California who attended a cockfight and was fatally stabbed by a knife-wielding rooster.
Details come from the Associated Press, which describes cockfighting as "a sport, illegal in the United States, in which specially bred roosters are put into a ring and encouraged to fight until one is incapacitated or killed." Aiding the incapacitating/killing: the knives tied to the fighting cocks' limbs, which flail about while men gather round to cheer and occasionally get stabbed to death.
"Jose Luis Ochoa, 35, of Lamont, was declared dead at a hospital about two hours after he was injured in neighboring Tulare County," reports the AP. "An autopsy concluded Ochoa died of an accidental 'sharp force injury' to his right calf. Sheriff's spokesman Ray Pruitt said it was unclear if a delay in seeking medical attention contributed to Ochoa's death." |
condolences to teh Ochoa family.
[Edited on February 22, 2011 at 1:14 PM. Reason : ]2/22/2011 1:10:47 PM |
elduderino All American 4343 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | "I wonder how she knew what it tasted like." |
My thoughts exactly.
Can you imagine her testimony?
Defense Attorney: "Ma'am, how can you be sure it was semen you tasted?"
Her: "Cause I be slurpin' it up on the reg!"2/22/2011 1:24:42 PM |
joe_schmoe All American 18758 Posts user info edit post |
i have never tasted shit.
however, based on it's smell, i'm pretty sure i would recognize it if i ever did taste it. 2/22/2011 1:27:30 PM |
quagmire02 All American 44225 Posts user info edit post |
mine smells like cotton candy
so, depending on the yogurt, that may not help 2/22/2011 1:28:26 PM |
elduderino All American 4343 Posts user info edit post |
I'm pretty sure you would smell it and consequently not eat it.
Either way, are you saying that she smells cum?
You're not strengthening her case.
[Edited on February 22, 2011 at 1:30 PM. Reason : ^^] 2/22/2011 1:29:35 PM |
joe_schmoe All American 18758 Posts user info edit post |
mine smells like wet dog. 2/22/2011 1:29:44 PM |