http://christwire.org/2011/05/is-my-child-having-sex/
I saw this on Fark and it made me LOL a little bit.

Here's a few points the article tries to make that "prove" intent/guilt. There's much more.

Quote :

"2) Washing their own clothes and frequent bathing: In an attempt to hide the smell of crusting semen or foreign cologne, a young person will take up household duties normally reserved for mother."

Quote :

"6) For boys, switching underwear styles: This may come as a surprise, but boys in the early stages of sexual prowling often make a shift from one underwear type to another. Some go from briefs to boxers to allow for easier access during oral copulation. "

Quote :

"A used condom will look like the finger of a rubber glove and will be sticky to the touch.*"

5/22/2011 8:32:27 PM

?_? switching underwear styles just happens when you realize everyone will make fun of your briefs.

Quote :

"premature sexual activity is often a warning sign of larger underlying problems, from drug use to mental disorders"

[Edited on May 22, 2011 at 8:36 PM. Reason : ]

5/22/2011 8:35:19 PM

lol one of the links from that article

http://christwire.org/2010/05/how-to-spot-a-masturbator/





[Edited on May 22, 2011 at 8:38 PM. Reason : smug!]

5/22/2011 8:36:50 PM

^LMAO

what is that "DHg" of Dr. Phillips'?

5/22/2011 8:39:08 PM

^^hahaha, I didn't click the link. That's awesome.

5/22/2011 8:39:40 PM

5/22/2011 8:39:51 PM

Christ wire is hilarious

5/22/2011 8:42:31 PM

I neglected to include the * footnote:

Quote :

"* I should note that used condoms do not always indicate sexual intercourse. Some boys practice wearing prophylactics in preparation for their “big day.” Others have been known to collect used condoms out of curiosity. They are intrigued by the confusing bodily interactions of the older children around them and collect such tokens like one would stamps or rocks. They often hide these damp, flaccid rubbers in cigar boxes in the backs of closets. If you discover such a horde, it may be your first clue in the search for the “Hookup Site” of an older sibling mentioned above. Use the opportunity to ask your boy where he chanced upon such a foul and dangerous thing and follow up on the lead. "

WTF? I hope none of you collected your friends' used condoms.

5/22/2011 8:44:34 PM

ROFL @ SMUG ^ ^ ^ ^ ^

lmao

5/22/2011 8:45:11 PM

chronic masturbator EXPOSED???

5/22/2011 8:46:48 PM

5/22/2011 8:48:27 PM

is this real??

PS ... LOL

Quote :

" 6) The “Hookup” Spot: A little detective work can lead a parent to discover their child’s secret sexual liaison location. In the summer, this is usually outside or in an unused structure. Look for it in the bushes near the picnic area of a lake, at the end of a dead end country road or in barns and abandoned houses. You will find the ground worn and muddy from activity. There will be old blankets and possibly even a mattress rescued from the trash heap. Cigarette butts, beer cans and brightly colored square condom wrappers will tell the sordid tale of youthful violation."

5/22/2011 8:49:47 PM

again, referencing smug...

Harry Potter exposed?

5/22/2011 8:50:04 PM

http://christwire.org/2011/05/parents-guide-to-common-teen-internet-sex-slang/

Quote :

"BRB – Bareback (sex without a condom)"

who knew?

5/22/2011 8:53:04 PM

^ ^ I thought since the rapture bullshit all of these cult members would have evaporated so the intelligent God-loving people who tell you that condoms are dangerous or ruthlessly obsess over adolescent development would be expunged off the face of the 21st century planet

I once accidentally tested out a "campus church" that I soon realized was a cult when "group prayer" turned into an individual sharing with the group that he was sorry to God for masturbation and nobody batted an eye. I quickly left.

5/22/2011 8:53:28 PM

from the sidebar

Quote :

"Most Blessed This Week “Power Bottoming,” The Most Disturbing New Trend in American Homosexuality"

5/22/2011 8:53:32 PM

WTF???

http://christwire.org/2011/05/should-menstruating-women-use-the-internet/

5/22/2011 8:53:45 PM

holy shit, this is great.

it's the religious version of the onion.

5/22/2011 8:54:11 PM

http://christwire.org/2010/03/vajazzling-the-newest-threat-to-your-college-son/

VAJAZZLING!!!

Quote :

"In the 1950s and before, things were much better on campuses nationwide. At that point in time, women were still more inclined to stay at home and raise a family, as nature intended."

Quote :

"You see, parents, females instinctively desire to seek out a quality mate and tempt him to have children with her. We cannot fully fault college girls for being a victim of their feeble, near-sighted minds. It is innate to the XX gene-set. Even now, college females are relentless in their efforts to tempt, subdue and trap a mate. There is only so much a study-weary, homesick and naive young men can do against such odds. So that leads to today, where college female students are now “vajazzling” their private areas. They are adorning their erogenous suprapubic area with jewels, and then trying to tempt men to follow the sparkles right to a place where only the married belong. You get my drift."

[Edited on May 22, 2011 at 8:58 PM. Reason : .]

5/22/2011 8:57:41 PM

brickyard gary beats it fervorishly

[Edited on May 22, 2011 at 9:04 PM. Reason : ]

5/22/2011 9:02:28 PM

How do I shot web?

5/22/2011 9:04:08 PM

Christwire is hilarious. Even tho it's a parody, I know there are fundamentals out there who'd take it seriously.

5/22/2011 9:06:54 PM

http://christwire.org/2010/08/the-dirty-girl-trend-is-there-anything-less-attractive-than-a-young-promiscuous-coke-addict-who-doesnt-bathe/



scroll down....

isn't that Joie?

5/22/2011 9:26:23 PM

LOL

5/22/2011 9:29:52 PM

^haha I think you're right.

5/22/2011 9:29:57 PM

Quote :

"is this real?? "

Nah but it's still funny.

5/22/2011 9:33:07 PM

^ Are you sure it isn't? It scared me for a bit

5/22/2011 9:34:13 PM

Quote :

"Christwire is hilarious. Even tho it's a parody, I know there are fundamentals liberals out there who'd take it seriously."

Rachel Maddow and the Huffington Post, among others, has been fooled by christwire. It clowns on liberals who are dumb enough not to realize that it's parody.

[Edited on May 22, 2011 at 9:49 PM. Reason : 2]

5/22/2011 9:48:14 PM

Aw jeez

not this thread again

I'm AstralAdvent and i approved this message.

5/22/2011 9:49:00 PM

But seriously though.

Is this Joie?!



[Edited on May 22, 2011 at 10:48 PM. Reason : ]

5/22/2011 10:48:34 PM

Yes. I don't think she owns the photo though. So, the photographer can use the image however they want to.

5/22/2011 10:53:55 PM

Yes, it's Joie. It's a stock photo. I think this is the 2nd time the photo has been used on a website.

5/22/2011 10:54:41 PM

bwahahahhahahahaha...yeah thats me


it is an istock image
that thing is freaking everywhere.

they totally edited it though.

[Edited on May 22, 2011 at 11:07 PM. Reason : sddf]

5/22/2011 11:05:44 PM

So do you get royalties for that?

[Edited on May 22, 2011 at 11:08 PM. Reason : ]

5/22/2011 11:06:22 PM

nah, i got a flat fee when it was taken.

5/22/2011 11:07:18 PM

And a more important question, how do you feel about your pic being used in an article about slutty junkies that don't bathe

[Edited on May 22, 2011 at 11:08 PM. Reason : ]

5/22/2011 11:08:17 PM

haha...that picture in particular has been used for that use (and similar) for a very long while (it was taken circa 2007).....


in all honesty, we were going for that look and i am really proud i was able to pull it off that well.....

[Edited on May 22, 2011 at 11:10 PM. Reason : sp]

5/22/2011 11:10:46 PM

Can I see the original photo?

5/22/2011 11:18:31 PM

Haha, Joie is e-famous (again/still), awesome.

5/22/2011 11:28:08 PM

this is the one i have


which is already b&w


but heres the color one being used


[Edited on May 22, 2011 at 11:29 PM. Reason : ^ ]

5/22/2011 11:28:12 PM

hahahahaha on an addiction website. lols

5/22/2011 11:30:21 PM

^^ I think I remember the thread on here when that was found.
Kind of awesome that it gets used often enough that you've seen it a few times now.

5/22/2011 11:54:26 PM

Hahahahaha 10/10 for joie

5/23/2011 12:06:31 AM

Joie, the first step is admitting you have a problem

5/23/2011 12:16:50 AM

This just got added to my topics.

5/23/2011 1:37:47 AM

I haven't really clicked on any of the in-line links until now... and they're great too.
http://christwire.org/2011/05/parents-guide-to-common-teen-internet-sex-slang/

5/23/2011 2:55:14 AM

http://christwire.org/2011/05/steve-o-banned-from-posting-on-facebook-for-being-homogay/

5/23/2011 3:24:54 AM

there's a bunch of homogay guys on facebook

5/23/2011 5:01:51 PM

LOL at Joice

5/23/2011 5:06:29 PM

Haha lurv the Joie pic.

Set em up!

5/23/2011 5:27:36 PM