wlfpckrcd All American 3869 Posts user info edit post |
So my neighbor is a heinous bitch who tries to pick a fight about anything, she is always staring out the window when my roommates and i or our guests are outside, shes terrified of our 5 lb dogs...shes just one of those nosy neighbors that no one likes....well shes pissed me off tonight. Any ideas on how to LEGALLY annoy her...pranks, subtle little things, etc to annoy her? 6/1/2011 6:58:20 PM |
wolfpackgrrr All American 39759 Posts user info edit post |
Sit on your deck and stare at her to see who breaks eye contact first. 6/1/2011 6:59:48 PM |
Førte All American 23525 Posts user info edit post |
gang bang 6/1/2011 7:00:03 PM |
AlaskanGrown I'm Randy 4693 Posts user info edit post |
Don't be immature, beat her by being the bigger man, and not giving her anything to bitch about. If that doesn't work after a week, poop in a brown bag and set it on fire on her doorstep. 6/1/2011 7:00:12 PM |
EMCE balls deep 89741 Posts user info edit post |
burn her house down 6/1/2011 7:03:56 PM |
wlfpckrcd All American 3869 Posts user info edit post |
its a townhouse...that would not be very beneficial to me 6/1/2011 7:04:43 PM |
djeternal Bee Hugger 62661 Posts user info edit post |
no intentional annoyance of your neighbor is legal.
that being said, PM me and I can give you some ideas 6/1/2011 7:06:11 PM |
dyne All American 7323 Posts user info edit post |
pull the disconnect on her heat pump outside. 6/1/2011 7:07:09 PM |
GeniuSxBoY Suspended 16786 Posts user info edit post |
loud music, broom handle tapping on the wall whenever you hear her, Put a sign in your yard "No neighbors allowed" 6/1/2011 7:08:53 PM |
EMCE balls deep 89741 Posts user info edit post |
In all honesty, I would just say to her next time she tries to start some shit.... "MIND YOUR GODDAMN BUSINESS, CUNT" 6/1/2011 7:09:22 PM |
AstralAdvent All American 9999 Posts user info edit post |
call her out on thewolfweb
I'm AstralAdvent and i approved this message. 6/1/2011 7:10:14 PM |
djeternal Bee Hugger 62661 Posts user info edit post |
1. shit in a paper bag 2. place bag of shit on her doorstep 3. light bag of shit on fire 4. ring her doorbell 5. ............ 6. profit 6/1/2011 7:10:46 PM |
GeniuSxBoY Suspended 16786 Posts user info edit post |
Anonymously report drugs in her house and throw a bag of weed in her backyard. 6/1/2011 7:13:25 PM |
wlfpckrcd All American 3869 Posts user info edit post |
it has to be subtle....I don't want her to know it was us 6/1/2011 7:13:25 PM |
AstralAdvent All American 9999 Posts user info edit post |
so what has she actually done other than stay inside her house? seems like you are the bitch here
I'm AstralAdvent and i approved this message. 6/1/2011 7:14:52 PM |
djeternal Bee Hugger 62661 Posts user info edit post |
My shit in a bag gag can be very subtle if done at 1AM
and get someone that doesn't live there to do it 6/1/2011 7:14:52 PM |
wlfpckrcd All American 3869 Posts user info edit post |
She leaves notes on our car, gets mad if our car is even close to the line next to her parking spot, stares out the window creepily, yells at us for having dogs (Even tho they have never pooped or peed in her yard), shes just one of those bitchy older ladies who wants to start drama..and im sick of her 6/1/2011 7:17:39 PM |
EMCE balls deep 89741 Posts user info edit post |
Not being a dick here, but
Quote : | "I don't want her to know it was us" |
that's your problem. you have to make her fear you, so she'll leave you alone. this works well with animals and elderly people.
plus, how is some seemingly random inconvenience going to make her stop bothering you? for all she knows, some random person rubbed dog shit on her door handle.]6/1/2011 7:18:42 PM |
GrumpyGOP yovo yovo bonsoir 18166 Posts user info edit post |
I'll do the bag of shit thing for $10. For $15, I'll put a landmine under the shit so that she blows her legs off. For $20, I'll give her the dicking she clearly needs in order to calm down. 6/1/2011 7:19:33 PM |
wlfpckrcd All American 3869 Posts user info edit post |
^^ shes the type of person that will call the cops 6/1/2011 7:20:41 PM |
EMCE balls deep 89741 Posts user info edit post |
I'm sorry, but your only option is to roll her up in a carpet and throw her off a bridge. tehehehehehe 6/1/2011 7:21:14 PM |
wolfpackgrrr All American 39759 Posts user info edit post |
I'm telling you, the stare down will work. Especially if you're sitting in a chair slowly and creepily drinking a beer. If she calls the cops there's jack they will do. Keep a book out there with you and be reading it as the cops pull up. Call her crazy and they'll most likely agree with you. 6/1/2011 7:22:14 PM |
GrumpyGOP yovo yovo bonsoir 18166 Posts user info edit post |
For $35 I will orchestrate an elaborate conspiracy involving the highest levels of America's military-industrial complex that ultimately points to her being responsible for 9/11, at which point Seal Team 6 will come shoot her in the face. 6/1/2011 7:24:28 PM |
djeternal Bee Hugger 62661 Posts user info edit post |
I think you should PM GrumpyGOP, he has EXTREMELY reasonable rates 6/1/2011 7:25:40 PM |
TreeTwista10 minisoldr 148252 Posts user info edit post |
1. get her to call the cops multiple times for basically nothing 2. convince them she is old and crazy 3. tell them to ignore her calls 4. have loud outdoor rock concert drug sex party 6/1/2011 7:26:02 PM |
yrrah All American 894 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | "She leaves notes on our car" |
leave notes on her car
Quote : | "gets mad if our car is even close to the line next to her parking spot" |
park really close to her driver side door
Quote : | "stares out the window creepily" |
stare back
Quote : | "yells at us for having dogs (Even tho they have never pooped or peed in her yard)" |
have your dogs poop and pee in her yard and stare her down while they do it,6/1/2011 7:26:26 PM |
AstralAdvent All American 9999 Posts user info edit post |
I thought you were supposed to learn all of this sophomore year when you live at usuites/village/etc
I'm AstralAdvent and i approved this message. 6/1/2011 7:29:01 PM |
EMCE balls deep 89741 Posts user info edit post |
6/1/2011 7:30:11 PM |
wlfpckrcd All American 3869 Posts user info edit post |
lol 6/1/2011 7:32:06 PM |
CalledToArms All American 22025 Posts user info edit post |
unless you don't plan to live there a long time, the easiest thing to do is just ignore them. This coming from someone who also has an equally annoying, bitchy neighbor. (luckily all my other neighbors are great). 6/1/2011 7:33:49 PM |
GrumpyGOP yovo yovo bonsoir 18166 Posts user info edit post |
Leave notes on her doorstep that say things like, "If it wasn't for you, he'd still be alive." Then when she starts weeping, come out of your house, laugh at her, and beat her to death with a tire iron. 6/1/2011 7:34:39 PM |
wolfpackgrrr All American 39759 Posts user info edit post |
^ I know that shouldn't have made me laugh but it did 6/1/2011 7:41:33 PM |
AstralAdvent All American 9999 Posts user info edit post |
Buy/rent a house if you don't like your neighbors.
I'm AstralAdvent and i approved this message.
6/1/2011 7:42:46 PM |
wlfpckrcd All American 3869 Posts user info edit post |
I OWN this house...she rents 6/1/2011 7:44:26 PM |
DalesDeadBug In Pressed Silk 2978 Posts user info edit post |
if she's leaving notes on cars, i would use that as an opportunity to be a huge asshole. i had a similar experience once, where a woman told me not to park outside her driveway because she didn't have enough room to back out (there was plenty of room). every time i did she would leave a note, so i would respond at the bottom, "Learn to drive" or something equally snarky. eventually she stopped. 6/1/2011 7:44:32 PM |
AstralAdvent All American 9999 Posts user info edit post |
then SELL it or BUY hers and crank up the rent
I'm AstralAdvent and i approved this message. 6/1/2011 7:45:29 PM |
Str8BacardiL ************ 41752 Posts user info edit post |
I have a place for rent, my neighbors do not mind dogs, matter of fact they have a pit. 6/1/2011 7:45:35 PM |
Walter All American 7722 Posts user info edit post |
1) Obtain her phone number (or address) and make postings for cheap TVs, iPods, etc. on craigslist using said phone number (or address)
2) ...
3) She will probably be even more of a cunt than before 6/1/2011 7:53:22 PM |
ncsuallday Sink the Flagship 9818 Posts user info edit post |
the most reasonable thing to do would be to call the owner. you can look it up with wake county property tax records online in a few minutes. 6/1/2011 7:54:48 PM |
ClassicMixup All American 3877 Posts user info edit post |
So essentially her leaving notes on your car and bitching has you bitching? I can't decide who's a bigger whiner here. 6/1/2011 8:08:45 PM |
bmel l3md 11149 Posts user info edit post |
Do you have her number? Place an add on craig's list for a nice tv for cheap or advertise she is having a yard sale and they should just stop by between certain hours that she will be home. 6/1/2011 8:10:17 PM |
AlaskanGrown I'm Randy 4693 Posts user info edit post |
Quote : | "^ I know that shouldn't have made me laugh but it did " |
6/1/2011 8:12:37 PM |
GrumpyGOP yovo yovo bonsoir 18166 Posts user info edit post |
In all seriousness, sounds here like the thing to do is just not give a fuck. When she does this shit laugh right in her face. Crumple up her car notes and throw them in her yard. When she stares creepily, make sexually suggestive gestures (or stare right back like some people have said). It will get her blood boiling and she won't be able to do a goddamn thing about it. 6/1/2011 8:32:03 PM |
LRlilDaddy All American 6511 Posts user info edit post |
buy a sheet and a couple poles and just put a physical barrier between your property when you want to hang out outside. then she can stare at a sheet and you will never need to know that she is there.
just forget the notes or anything else that happens when you arent around. 6/1/2011 8:37:12 PM |
ncsuallday Sink the Flagship 9818 Posts user info edit post |
you should leave her notes with completely random musings
Quote : | "The 2010 US Census had a 74% overall response rate, but the rates were highest in the Midwestern region. I wonder why that is?" |
etc.6/1/2011 8:38:58 PM |
yrrah All American 894 Posts user info edit post |
^ i like this 6/1/2011 8:43:11 PM |
wolfpackgrrr All American 39759 Posts user info edit post |
^^ hahaha awesome idea. 6/1/2011 9:03:18 PM |
stategrad100 All American 6606 Posts user info edit post |
I actually had several subwoofer speakers I strategically placed around areas adjacent to my neighbor when I lived in my last place.
I would have a bass test song cued up on the iPod and when shit got real she'd get a 5 second blast here and there.
Not exactly the most mature option but incredibly gratifying. Don't recommend entire songs - just short disruptive bursts or make your own mp3 of short disruptive bursts spaced out at random intervals and play. Also remember, "I didn't hear anything, sorry, if I hear anything I'll let you know. I hate the cars that drive by with the radios all the way up."
Disclaimer: Requires several subwoofers on the same input and a lot of time in your life, both of which I had and currently have. 6/1/2011 9:59:07 PM |
yrrah All American 894 Posts user info edit post |
speakers could play a loop of loud annoying dogs barking while you're out - "what? i don't have any pets" 6/1/2011 10:05:20 PM |
NeuseRvrRat hello Mr. NSA! 35376 Posts user info edit post |
if she's a bitchy old woman who wants to start drama, then it sounds like you're playing right into her hand
ignore that cunt 6/1/2011 10:16:54 PM |