Where is the best place to go to meet new people in Raleigh? preferably Girls.

9/6/2011 3:21:20 AM

Trivia nights at Bada and Rucus?

Target.

Yes the store. I know I've texted this to TKE-Teg once, if not several times. The female population is prime for the picking. Especially the one in Crossroads shopping center in Cary. Nice range of 20-35 year old women shop there constantly and quite a few are attractive. Plenty of females to look at and interact with. I don't know what it is about Target, but a LOT of women love to shop there.



[Edited on September 6, 2011 at 4:50 AM. Reason : .]

9/6/2011 4:46:05 AM

Lake Johnson running trail
Umstead Park
Flying Saucer
Outdoor concerts downtown
Planet Fitness (got a bf from there)

9/6/2011 6:47:26 AM

what kind of girls do you like?

9/6/2011 7:39:00 AM

Flying Saucer

It's not a bad place, but it's not above average.

9/6/2011 8:14:38 AM

Check out any clubs you might be interested in on campus. Ultimate frisbee and flag football coed teams can have some cool people on them. Athletic clubs and coed stuff are good places to start. If you can get past the stigma, check out the Ball Room dancing club...or at the very least, the intro meetings before you have to join as a paid member of the team. Typically more girls show up than guys, so at the very least you can make some connections before dropping out. You will have to dance, which does give you plenty of one on one time.

Just remember before you chicken out of going to anything, once you hit the real world its going to be way harder to meet the quality people you run into every day at college

[Edited on September 6, 2011 at 8:23 AM. Reason : google or facebook Dances With Wolves]

9/6/2011 8:23:23 AM

make a thread in chit chat requesting to find the "freaky" girls
they love that. include a smiley face; bitches love them. use or the combo

it works, just ask the dude with the thumb ring or that dude that looked like mr. potato head back in the day.

9/6/2011 10:29:12 AM

If you want to be creepy:
Target
Harris Teeter (Cameron Village)
gym (i.e. Planet Fitness)

If you want to be less creepy:
gym (Carmichael), maybe even fitness classes
bars/clubs
tdub

If you want to be least creepy:
co-ed IM teams
NCSU clubs
class (girl electives like Social Dance or step aerobics)
library/study groups
join a fraternity

9/6/2011 10:34:22 AM

Your profile says you're 19 and a sophomore.

Awesome, you've got plenty of time.



Become friends with dudes your age or a year younger who are more or less on the douchebag side, but have cute girlfriends. Note: I did not say hot. If you're looking for hot chicks, this method is ineffective, as they are much too vapid.

Wait until douchebag does the inevitable: end up too drunk to go to an important event with her, or sleeps with one of her friends, or gets kicked out of school, or something that, as i said, is inevitable.

At that point, you are clear for go. Start slowly of course. You're the better man. Get coffee and talk about goals, dreams, blah blah blah. Girls love it when you can open up about that stuff - but don't get sentimental too fast.

At that point, you'll know her pretty well. If she's the one you want, go forth and conquer. If not, she's probably got friends - maintain the friendship without becoming creepy (don't go out of your way to say hi in public places unless she notices you first, head-nod instead of wave, etc.) - and perhaps inquire about one of her friends as your relationship progresses.

That "bros before hoes" shit is for guys that either already get laid, or are otherwise have a chick on speed-dial. This is capitalism my friend. Get out there and succeed. True friends will show up that are not douchebags.

But not on the wolfweb. So now, i will ask that you log off and never come back to this terrible place. It will only hurt your chances.

[Edited on September 6, 2011 at 10:49 AM. Reason : .]

9/6/2011 10:49:05 AM

How is a gym like Planet Fitness any more creepy than Carmichael gym? How is target or harris teeter creepy? Jesus.

9/6/2011 5:40:07 PM

^^ Jesus that's scarily accurate on how I met one of my ex's

9/6/2011 5:46:06 PM

I can vouch for the Cary Target being loaded with super hot chicks the majority of time I have spent in there. Finding a good reason to talk to them without looking like a creeper is more difficult, but makes for good viewing during shopping at least.

9/6/2011 5:47:25 PM

Any straight dude who signs up for Social Dance or Step Aerobics to meet girls is near the top of creepster scale IMO. I thought girls liked not having weirdos staring at them when they're sweatin' to the oldies?

9/6/2011 5:48:16 PM

If you go the grocery store route, don't follow the girl around the store, walk up to her in the parking lot and say "it's like we were grocery shopping together!"

Like others said, join IM teams, maybe even ask a cute girl in class to be study partners, attend campus events, etc. Do you live on campus now? If you live off-campus your apartment complex might still have their pool open. You can meet people at the pool

9/6/2011 6:07:01 PM

I never understood how you approach someone at the grocery store

9/6/2011 6:08:38 PM

+1 for joining a group that meets to engage in shared interests

alpha phi omega if you're looking for a co-ed service "fraternity," IM teams if you're looking for sports, various clubs that match your interests

9/6/2011 6:08:52 PM

Quote :

"Finding a good reason to talk to them without looking like a creeper is more difficult, but makes for good viewing during shopping at least."

There are a ton of products you can small talk about if you feel the need to go that route... I mean, just have fun with it. If anything, small talk can be a confidence builder.

But a good reason? Going up to someone I'm interested in, complimenting them, giving them my number, and saying we should hang out some time has never given me any problems. Granted, I haven't done this in a long time as I'm married now, but I don't find it to be creepy if you are sincere and polite about it. Don't be a salesman and try to pitch something. Just be honest or forthcoming.


^^^ this. You can say, "Excuse me. I couldn't help but notice you and wanted to give you my number. Maybe we can hang out some time." It helps if you have a social event like a party/get together at a friend's house (or your own) which you can invite them to.

some of you internet people act like socializing in public is trivial

[Edited on September 6, 2011 at 6:18 PM. Reason : .]

9/6/2011 6:11:35 PM

Going up to strangers and talking to them is, apparently, creepy. Maybe creepy has different meanings to different people, but I tend to think of it as imposing, unattractive, and generally not knowing how to "take a hint" that you've overstepped some bounds.

Personally, I wouldn't recommend things like co-ed sports/fitness as a venue for meeting girls. It's a great way to make friends and have fun, but I've known a lot of people that have joined those activities with the intent of picking up girls, and it's just not ideal. I'm guessing you don't just want to meet girls, you want to eventually get them back to your place and do what humans are born to do. The problem with venues where you're likely to see "the target(s)" on a weekly basis is that there's a possibility you'll get rejected, and it may sour the experience for you. That's not to say you shouldn't seize an opportunity where there is apparent chemistry/attraction.

I'll assume you're a sophomore in college, which means you're playing a different game than most of the posters here. Town stores aren't the best in your position - that's mainly going to be girls in their 20s-30s. Cameron Village Harris Teeter is a little better. C-store/locations very close to campus are best.

The Brickyard is a goldmine. On a nice day, there are going to be many attractive girls all over the place. The vast majority of male college students would shit their pants over the prospect of approaching any of them. If you can get over that anxiety, you're already at a huge advantage, but you're not going to get over it if you don't practice. Don't be a pussy, get out there and do it.

9/6/2011 6:32:54 PM

Get a job

Fuck all them bitches

Get a new job

9/6/2011 6:40:22 PM

Since the thread is turning into "how to get a girlfriend" ...

Don't go forth with the intention of making every female you meet your girlfriend. You won't get anywhere, and odds are that you will get a reputation in certain circles. Instead, build a stable of good female friends (class study buddies, IM/club people) and as Axl set forth, use them as a starting point to get to their female friends. A personal reference goes a long, long way

9/6/2011 6:45:49 PM

Without a doubt the best way to do this is be good friends with a girl that has many friends. In college, I'd say more...experiences...came from friends of a friend than any sort of game running on a near random stranger.

9/6/2011 7:39:46 PM

TWW

9/6/2011 8:14:50 PM

Craigslist. It's where I meet all the people I plan on leaving covered in lime in a ditch.

9/6/2011 8:55:40 PM

Quote :

"Just remember before you chicken out of going to anything, once you hit the real world its going to be way harder to meet the quality people you run into every day at college "

signed x infinity

9/6/2011 10:01:36 PM

It's all about mutual friends, not even necessarily mutual girl friends.

Find something you're decent at and enjoy doing: intramural sports, music, whatever (I actually met some hot girls through working at the Technician ... no shit). You'll make some friends there, and those friendships will lead you to more people ... and some of those people are destined to be girls you're interested in.

It's all about getting involved with something and meeting people, but not trying to force anything. As others have said, the game gets a hell of a lot harder post-college, so get on it while you can.

9/6/2011 10:51:13 PM

Quote :

"Going up to strangers and talking to them is, apparently, creepy. Maybe creepy has different meanings to different people, but I tend to think of it as imposing, unattractive, and generally not knowing how to "take a hint" that you've overstepped some bounds."

It is creepy. Not only is it creepy, but doing it in a place like the grocery store or Target is creepy x100.

There are very few people in the world who's claims of going to random girls with the intent of sleeping with them (or girlfriending them) can stand up to rigor. Now, before someone replies telling me how they met their wife in the neighborhood Harris Teeter, answer the question "were you trying to meet someone?"

The "professional attractor" communities, for all the shit flung at them, have claims that make sense. They do aim to find random girls and sleep with them, but their methods actually show an understanding of social dynamic.
- Girls who are alone are the worst targets
- You want to be somewhere where there is at least a plausible case that some people go there to meet people, or at bare minimum, a place that has a focus around being social

Shopping for pants is not a good place to hit on a girl. Restaurants are less bad, but still really bad. Clubs and bar environments are actually better. Also, you need to get into their social circle. Girls have built-in hesitation for getting with any guy in any romantic context. It's evolution, deal with it. That's why you have to be the center of attention, funny, or something like that. Playing on their insecurities to get them to sleep with you is optional.

That said, in a college, you have far better environments than even the best clubs out there. Don't focus on showing attraction. That's her job. Focus on making it look like you could get with her friend if you wanted, then she's yours.

[Edited on September 6, 2011 at 11:46 PM. Reason : ]

9/6/2011 11:45:51 PM

If someone approaches me in Target or a grocery store, my first assumption is they're trying to reel me in to their MLM "business opportunity"

9/6/2011 11:57:40 PM

Quote :

"It is creepy. Not only is it creepy, but doing it in a place like the grocery store or Target is creepy x100."

It's only creepy if you make it creepy. Why live your life being scared of people?

Quote :

"Also, you need to get into their social circle. Girls have built-in hesitation for getting with any guy in any romantic context. It's evolution, deal with it. That's why you have to be the center of attention, funny, or something like that."

While this may line up with your experience, it isn't always true. Being in a girl's social circle can actually hurt your chances of making anything happen. You end up trying to make that weird friend --> girlfriend transition, sex gets built up to be this big thing, and it's just awkward.

Quote :

"Playing on their insecurities to get them to sleep with you is optional."

I don't know what you mean by this. If you're playing on girls' insecurities, you're doing it wrong.

[Edited on September 7, 2011 at 12:25 AM. Reason : ]

9/7/2011 12:22:52 AM

Quote :

"While this may line up with your experience, it isn't always true. Being in a girl's social circle can actually hurt your chances of making anything happen. You end up trying to make that weird friend --> girlfriend transition, sex gets built up to be this big thing, and it's just awkward. "

It's not clear without being more specific. If you've engaged with a social circle only a handful of times, then you're still an outsider. If you're spending a month with a new set of friends to get with a girl, oh yeah, you're doing it wrong.

Now, there are weird things about what I'm talking about as well. Once you break up, then "her" friends are... her friends and you might as well give up on remaining friends with the circle of friends that you knew 95% of the time in the context of the relationship.

Quote :

"I don't know what you mean by this. If you're playing on girls' insecurities, you're doing it wrong."

It's the same thing where people complain about girls preferring jerks. Once lovers start emotionally closing in, those people have options. When the behaviors that attracted the 2 to each other are mostly subconscious, then it can easily lead to asymmetric and emotionally abusive dynamics as a matter of course. Or, if you're one of those people who profess to use "psychological" approaches, then it's your discretion to turn it into either an equal or a manipulative relationship.

It's surprising how selective the rules of female attraction are to begin with - equally as surprising as how tolerance knows no bounds when it comes to love. Leveraging that arbitrage is the secret sauce.

[Edited on September 7, 2011 at 1:09 AM. Reason : ]

9/7/2011 1:07:27 AM

Dude just go get a job at a chile's, ruby tuesday, on the border, any crappy chain restaurant. Not only will waiting tables boost your confidence in making small-talk, it's a great way go meet young girls with nothing better to do than get drunk after work and make bad decisions. The venue is perfect--you can have fun flirty little conversations in the back while you're filling sodas or rolling silverware, but the moment the conversation lulls or you crack her up you can dip out to "check on your tables" and look like Johnny-fucking-Suavé.

Besides, you'll distinguish yourself to the girls on campus amongst the neckeards and jort-sporters you hang out with by having a little disposable cash to blow on them

9/7/2011 9:11:57 AM

haha paerabol nailed it. if you are just looking for some a$$ that's the best way to do it. I had a rommate during college that was working in one of those places, and he had a new girl staying over every week. Meeting through friends alwo works well, but it is better for when you are looking for a girlfriend, cause otherwise your hangouts with your friends may eventually turn awkward once you screw enough tof THEIR friends, literally and figuratively

9/7/2011 10:56:01 AM

Quote :

"It's not clear without being more specific. If you've engaged with a social circle only a handful of times, then you're still an outsider. If you're spending a month with a new set of friends to get with a girl, oh yeah, you're doing it wrong."

Sure, if you stay on the periphery of their social circle, you're probably okay. It's also hard to overstate the importance of group dynamics; if a girl is with a group, and you demonstrate an ability to mesh well with that group (read: this doesn't mean being loud, being super "alpha," whatever), you're more likely to foster attraction. I think women tend to be far more cognizant of social dynamics than men.

I still disagree that 1 on 1 situations are to be avoided. It's all about how you handle it. There are good and bad times/places for it, but if you're unattractive, it's going to be creepy/uncomfortable either way. That's life.

Quote :

"It's the same thing where people complain about girls preferring jerks."

Girls don't prefer jerks, they like men that aren't too afraid to make their intentions clear. That's the mark of a high value male - rejection doesn't matter when you've got options. "Jerks" are more likely to say what's on their mind, but they aren't likely to "nice guy" their way into bed.

Quote :

"When the behaviors that attracted the 2 to each other are mostly subconscious, then it can easily lead to asymmetric and emotionally abusive dynamics as a matter of course. Or, if you're one of those people who profess to use "psychological" approaches, then it's your discretion to turn it into either an equal or a manipulative relationship."

I guess the key here is to not be a sociopath, then.

Quote :

"It's surprising how selective the rules of female attraction are to begin with"

It's not at all surprising from an evolutionary standpoint.

9/7/2011 12:03:28 PM

play guitar

fix computers

go to chapel hill

9/7/2011 12:45:47 PM

Quote :

"I guess the key here is to not be a sociopath, then."

Well, if you want to be a CEO, do be a sociopath. People who learn to manipulate other people for what they want without remorse go far in this world.

9/7/2011 12:57:52 PM

Quote :

"How is target or harris teeter creepy? Jesus."

Because usually when a dude came up to talk to you at the Harris Teeter in CV, it was only to hit on you and it was painfully obvious. At least that's how it was when I still shopped over there.

9/7/2011 1:04:17 PM

So "hey baby, can I thump your melons?" isn't a good line to use at a grocery store?

9/7/2011 1:05:50 PM

My favorite was when I was walking through the aisle with diapers in it to get to the shampoo or whatever and some 19-year old looking dude asked me my opinion on Pampers. And you could just tell by the look on his face that it wasn't because he had a screaming baby at home that needed a diaper change stat. It was as if in his brain he went, "Bitches love babies. I'm gonna lead with a line about babies."

9/7/2011 1:08:23 PM

Maybe he wanted diapers for his puppy. Bitches love puppies too!

9/7/2011 1:13:21 PM

Join a fraternity
/thread

9/7/2011 1:24:39 PM

wait girls never hit on guys?

9/7/2011 1:37:45 PM