...if they weren't any good at sports? I'm talking about guys you just couldn't see in an office, 9-5, construction, or even retail. Base it on looks, demeanor, or if you plain just don't like them.


Randy Moss
Birdman Anderson
Kenyon Martin
Rasheed Wallace (imagine him in a cubicle)
Lastings Milledge
Pacman Jones
John Daly
Roddy White
Jeremy Shockey
AJ Burnett


Who ya got?

12/13/2011 10:41:06 AM

Pretty much all the guys with sleeve and neck tattoos would have a tough time getting office or retail jobs... although it's not as taboo as it used to be.

12/13/2011 10:47:29 AM

James Harrison. Although I suppose he could get a job as a bouncer or bodyguard.

12/13/2011 10:56:28 AM

albert haynesworth is probably #1

jake plummer
tiger woods

12/13/2011 11:08:08 AM

I think the list would be much shorter if we listed the athletes that might be able to survive with an actual office job.

12/13/2011 11:09:21 AM

Delonte West

[Edited on December 13, 2011 at 11:09 AM. Reason : better have my doughnuts]

[Edited on December 13, 2011 at 11:10 AM. Reason : ^^ Tiger is the last person that would be on this list]

12/13/2011 11:09:30 AM

tiger woods would definitely have an office job

he'd be sleeping with half the office

12/13/2011 11:10:31 AM

Does "in jail" count as homeless?

12/13/2011 11:10:48 AM

tiger pouts and quits/drops out of tourneys when things don't go his way. he belongs.

12/13/2011 11:12:05 AM

I had once thought Shaun White...until I saw...

12/13/2011 11:12:23 AM

After he retired, Raul Mondesi was arrested in the DR for stealing electricity

He also stole my heart!

12/13/2011 11:26:06 AM

Manny Ramirez

12/13/2011 11:29:04 AM

Josh Hamilton

12/13/2011 11:30:19 AM

Pretty much every major league relief pitcher

12/13/2011 11:31:13 AM

Tiger went to Stanford, so if he never played a drop of golf after college.. he'd have a job.

Is John Rocker employed?

12/13/2011 11:32:55 AM

Michael Oher

12/13/2011 11:34:41 AM

Car sales thats where most end up according to the movies

[Edited on December 13, 2011 at 12:10 PM. Reason : ..]

12/13/2011 12:09:48 PM

Does "in jail" count as homeless?

12/13/2011 12:26:31 PM

Do you think Ugueth Urbina would have tried to set those guys on fire and hack them to pieces with a machete if hadn't made it to the majors? Hard to say, but probably.

12/13/2011 12:35:03 PM

anybody have footage of the fridge perry vs. manute bol celebrity boxing match?

12/13/2011 12:38:11 PM

no, because that is the saddest thing i have ever seen.

Also, something like 90% of the NFL, 95% of the NBA.

12/13/2011 1:19:20 PM

You've basically got to be mentally unstable to be homeless.

A lot of them might be unemployed, but very few would be homeless.

You also have to consider that if they weren't good at sports most of them probably wouldn't have their demeanor and/or tattoos.

[Edited on December 13, 2011 at 1:21 PM. Reason : ]

12/13/2011 1:20:35 PM

I heard on the radio or something a few years back that many of the NBA players are broke within 5 years of leaving the league. Mostly due to poor financial decisions.

12/13/2011 1:22:54 PM

Marshawn Lynch

12/13/2011 1:26:37 PM

78% of football players are broke 5 years after retirement

60% of basketball players are broke 5 years after retirement

if specific athletes weren't good at sports, then they wouldn't have spent their lives being coddled, unduly celebrated for purely physical achievements, and encouraged to pursue painfully narrow paths of interest. free from these corrosive features of sports culture, the respective athletes would surely have employment commensurate to their peer groups.

12/13/2011 1:32:54 PM

Koren Robinson
Chris Washburn

[Edited on December 13, 2011 at 4:18 PM. Reason : .]

12/13/2011 4:17:36 PM

Pretty sure he's actually homeless right now

12/13/2011 4:18:26 PM

Quote :

"You also have to consider that if they weren't good at sports most of them probably wouldn't have their demeanor and/or tattoos"

pretty much

12/13/2011 7:47:31 PM

Tyson Chandler

12/13/2011 7:54:27 PM

johnny had his good looks and came from money. daniel came from shit. karate saved him.

12/13/2011 8:13:23 PM

I imagine that even without sports Tom Brady would be endorsed by Uggs

12/13/2011 9:05:07 PM

Quote :

"Birdman Anderson"

absolute first person that came to mind for me

12/13/2011 9:13:32 PM

Quote :

"Koren Robinson Chris Washburn"

Washburn is gainfully employed right now. Don't know what robinson is up to.

The vast majority of these guys can easily work blue collar jobs. You guys are retarded. Stocking shelves, warehouses, fast food, etc.

12/13/2011 9:19:09 PM

Quote :

"I imagine that even without sports Tom Brady would be endorsed by Uggs"

That fucker would have found a lottery ticket laying on the ground at the homeless shelter worth $100mil

12/13/2011 10:07:38 PM

JR Smith

12/13/2011 10:11:01 PM

12/13/2011 10:14:26 PM

^^^lol

[Edited on December 13, 2011 at 10:14 PM. Reason : ]

12/13/2011 10:14:30 PM

I know we hate to admit it, but just about every NC State basketball player that saw any playing time during my entire lifetime would be on this list, except a few:

-Jeremy Hyatt (he's selling cars at Leith Honda, right?)
-Julius Hodge (acting?)
-Cornelius Williams (I used to think it was a joke that he got his Masters in Chem, but apparently it's true. I don't remember him being too bright at Herb Sendek BBall camp in 1997)
-Illian Evtimov (uhh...translator? Distributor for "Mountain Dew...Big Drink"?)

Any others? I'm not talking benchwarmers like Will Roach or Luke Buffum (who was from Beverly Hills and is probably still independently wealthy).

Quote :

"The vast majority of these guys can easily work blue collar jobs. You guys are retarded. Stocking shelves, warehouses, fast food, etc."

Yeah, let's limit this to jobs that involve thinking. Even TA works at Bojangles.

[Edited on December 14, 2011 at 12:26 PM. Reason : s]

12/14/2011 12:24:27 PM

Quote :

"Cornelius Williams"

He was my lab partner one semester. He was pretty smart and always got the work done. I figured he just took advantage of the tutoring athletes are provided.

12/14/2011 1:50:05 PM

^ Fuck you, racist fuck.

12/14/2011 1:58:51 PM

Corn-dog was in my Marine Biology class! Or Oceanography, I can't rememer.

12/14/2011 2:00:23 PM

I sat behind Brackman in history in Harrelson. He always had at least one huge neck zit, usually several. Most of them had the whole whitehead pus thing going on.

[Edited on December 14, 2011 at 2:06 PM. Reason : x]

12/14/2011 2:05:58 PM

I know Hoops is a troll alias but damn Evtimov spoke like five languages.

12/14/2011 2:12:34 PM

and could play one mean game of texas hold em

12/14/2011 2:15:06 PM

Quote :

"Any others? "

Archie Miller
Todd Fuller (dude was a fucking rhodes finalist)
Chris Corchiani

12/14/2011 2:29:56 PM

Fred Spann copied my Intro to Bio test answers.

A full-on retard could pass that class. He's probably homeless somewhere right now.

12/14/2011 2:38:19 PM

Quote :

"I know Hoops is a troll alias but damn Evtimov spoke like five languages. "

Which might be why I said he'd be one of the ones WITH a job. AS A TRANSLATOR.

Get a brain, moran.

12/14/2011 3:06:27 PM

What is a moran?

12/14/2011 8:12:29 PM

Jesus, this meme is like 8 years old. Are you 18?

12/15/2011 12:36:17 PM