lawlz

5/13/2009 3:13:09 PM

post its

5/13/2009 3:14:27 PM

^ post your confesssssssions

5/13/2009 4:32:01 PM

i rate my dooky and today was the first good one i've had in like 10 days

5/13/2009 10:04:54 PM

bet i got you beat, son.

5/13/2009 10:16:59 PM

I'm about to cook some chicken son

5/13/2009 10:19:22 PM

i ate more than i should have for dinner tonight... now i feel bloated

5/13/2009 10:20:18 PM

^^^lol thats gross but cool cause a chick said it

[Edited on May 13, 2009 at 10:20 PM. Reason : .]

5/13/2009 10:20:29 PM

WIN.

5/13/2009 10:26:24 PM

by god i'd fart in your hair

5/13/2009 10:29:13 PM

i lyke tuytulz

5/13/2009 10:29:50 PM

i'm eating onions

5/13/2009 10:32:25 PM

^^^ LIAR!

5/13/2009 10:34:10 PM

i have a crush on a twwer

5/13/2009 10:44:18 PM

OoooOOOOOO!!!!! who!?

is it me? b/c i'm HAWT?

5/13/2009 11:03:40 PM

its totally you!

5/13/2009 11:05:43 PM

its totally you!

5/13/2009 11:06:45 PM

i know its cliche, but i want to sleep with my friend's girlfriend

5/13/2009 11:08:22 PM

^^ hell yes! call me

5/15/2009 9:53:20 PM

I hate my life right now....


I'll probably feel different tomorrow.



Le sigh.

5/15/2009 10:28:21 PM

I'm starting to think that I'll never find a job.

5/15/2009 10:29:41 PM

ya gurl, lemme get dem digitz!

5/15/2009 10:30:12 PM

i feel old

Its a friday night not even 10:30, and I'm ready for bed - if I start waking up early by myself, i'll be mad

5/15/2009 10:41:35 PM

^^ you already got em, yo

5/15/2009 11:06:04 PM

5/15/2009 11:19:25 PM

i really don't want to work tomorrow

5/15/2009 11:20:16 PM

^ditto

5/15/2009 11:31:06 PM

i caught the neighbors wife giving someone who is NOT her husband head....

he was hot tho.

5/15/2009 11:32:02 PM

i just went off on a foodlion clerk

5/15/2009 11:58:27 PM

I know that Silas is awake, but since he's playing quietly in his room, I'm just going to pretend that I don't know it yet.

5/16/2009 4:17:56 PM

^lots of mothers do that...don't feel bad.

5/16/2009 6:38:46 PM

i got rear-ended today no homo

5/16/2009 6:42:05 PM

piss on a church...check

5/17/2009 2:13:00 AM

^ HAHAHAHAHAHA GG

5/17/2009 2:18:27 AM

i want to ask fareako a ?

5/17/2009 2:32:33 AM

wants to kill some motherfuckers

5/17/2009 2:36:18 AM

sometimes I lie in bed and fantasize about breaking into the house of this guy I don't like, handcuffing him and his wife to some stationary object and then raping their young daughter before their eyes

5/17/2009 3:37:09 AM

theres like 5 chicks from hs i wanted to bwn that have got married

5/17/2009 3:50:42 AM

these are like crack to me:




other people think they are bad eating candy and cookies and icecream. i am obsessed with powdered doughnuts. who even eats those?! i don't know but i do and i love them. so much.

5/17/2009 9:53:51 PM

went to a friend's wedding this weekend and we were hanging out before the wedding and he kept getting txts and calls prior to the wedding and had the worst ringer for his txt msgs

i sent him a txt about 5min. into the ceremony to check and see if he turned if off

he didn't

full blast lame ass ringtone and the pastor made a joke about it - later the groom/bride/me all laughed about it but my wife gave me the look of death when it went down

5/17/2009 10:21:18 PM

think i'm gonna rearrange the apt tomorrow

5/18/2009 1:11:34 AM

i pronounced WIFI as "Wiffie"...for like 2yrs

hubby just didn't have the heart to correct me.

5/18/2009 12:40:12 PM

Quote :

"went to a friend's wedding this weekend and we were hanging out before the wedding and he kept getting txts and calls prior to the wedding and had the worst ringer for his txt msgs i sent him a txt about 5min. into the ceremony to check and see if he turned if off he didn't full blast lame ass ringtone and the pastor made a joke about it - later the groom/bride/me all laughed about it but my wife gave me the look of death when it went down"

thats pretty funny. groom at the wedding that i went to wouldn't take his blackberry off during the ceremony. i'm hoping he at least had it on silent....

5/18/2009 12:41:55 PM

my asshole grandfather died last night. i was sadder about a family cat that died years ago.

5/18/2009 1:40:21 PM

Sometimes I hide under my desk and take quick power naps.

5/18/2009 1:53:02 PM

Sometimes when I'm by myself I like to sing hip hop and rap songs like they're showtunes and over annunciate everything.

5/19/2009 3:37:58 PM

aha like richard cheese?

Sipping on Gin aaaaannd Juuuuuice

5/19/2009 3:38:57 PM

Well today it's "U and dat booty"

There's another one that I do really well almost everyday, but for some reason I can't think of the name of it right now.

5/19/2009 3:42:48 PM

I feel so much better about things having made that decision, finally.

5/19/2009 10:44:14 PM

i have a curvy penis

5/19/2009 10:49:30 PM