My husband is a supervisor and he took "kinda" took two weeks off for both kids. I say kinda because I believe he officially took two weeks, but he still went into work for a couple of hours here and there during those two weeks to handle business and ensure things went smoothly.



[Edited on September 8, 2011 at 5:15 PM. Reason : .]

9/8/2011 5:04:34 PM

i am sure that i will have to use my 2 weeks of anual vacation time for paternity leave. which sucks. I will be lucky if i even get it.

being a grad student has its HUGE downsides.

9/8/2011 5:13:33 PM

Federally, you're entitled to 12 weeks of unpaid family medical leave after the birth of a child.

9/8/2011 5:17:06 PM

^that is dependent on the size of the business. my office is a small business, 11 employees including the boss, & they can do whatever they want. the mother gets 6 weeks. dads get however much vacation time they have (i guess, there haven't been any new dads since i got here). i think the federal cut off is something like 25 50 employees.

Quote :

"The Family and Medical Leave Act, which was passed in 1993, applies to companies that employ 50 or more people within a 75-mile radius of the workplace. It says that if you have been employed for at least one year by the company you now work for, and work at least 25 hours a week, you can take up to 12 weeks of unpaid, job-protected leave in any 12-month period for the birth of your baby. All 12 weeks of maternity leave can be taken at the same time or they can be broken up over the course of the year before or after the birth of your baby. "

http://pregnancy.familyeducation.com/postpartum/maternity-leave/57441.html

[Edited on September 8, 2011 at 5:43 PM. Reason : ]

9/8/2011 5:41:25 PM

According to the HR rep I spoke with it only applies if you have been working there for at least a year. I need to do research to confirm that though.

9/8/2011 5:45:20 PM

that's true too.

Quote :

"An FMLA eligible employee is an employee who has been employed by the employer for a least 12 months and worked at least 1,250 hours. The 12 months do not need to be consecutive."

http://jobsearch.about.com/cs/employmentlaw/a/fmla.htm

[Edited on September 8, 2011 at 5:47 PM. Reason : link]

9/8/2011 5:46:34 PM

My husband took two weeks. But he also worked from home some. It's fuzzy, but I think he went in for a few hours as well. There was so much going in then with the move too I can't remember what was what.

I also would not have been employed for a year. However, my year anniversary would have fallen during the 12 wks of FMLA. Somehow that meant I would've been eligible according to my HR rep. I would look in to that, or at least ask if that would apply for you. I certainly wasn't going to contest it!

9/8/2011 6:11:02 PM

My husband is going to take a week. He only gets two weeks vacation a year and we used one for our annual familiy beach trip. My mom is coming to stay with me during the day my second week.

9/8/2011 6:35:55 PM

Talking to some of the guys at work, it seems the norm at work is 3 weeks at full pay, then they will allow me to take the remaining 12 weeks covered under FMLA using our short term disability policy which is i think 60% pay. I probably won't take 12 weeks but will take the 3 weeks and work from home some during that time.

9/8/2011 6:59:40 PM

Quote :

"the forever 21 does at well. at least the one over here."

I don't know if the one in Crabtree has a maternity section (i havent stepped foot in there in forever) but I know they have stuff online.

9/8/2011 7:30:11 PM

Quote :

"An FMLA eligible employee is an employee who has been employed by the employer for a least 12 months and worked at least 1,250 hours. "

Yeah I'm screwed. Why couldn't this baby have been conceived two months later

9/8/2011 8:31:29 PM

Quote :

"This is me mad that I'm just now learning H&M has a maternity section "

As much as I hate supporting their owners, I'll always recommend Roses for maternity clothes. You can do their actual maternity wear or their general "Women" section. It's good because, frankly, it's cheap and disposable. The clothes are mostly just kinda bland and plain, but there's some decent looking halfway stuff here and there.

Normally I recommend buying clothes for quality, but with maternity wear it seems reasonable to pay 10 bucks or less for something you're only going to keep around for 2-3 months (Depending on size).

9/9/2011 9:35:25 AM

I found Target and Kohls were also cheap. I went to Motherhood for nice work tops though.

9/9/2011 11:26:52 AM

I found some cheap and cute maternity clothes at the Red Hen in Carrboro. It's a consignment shop but all their stuff seemed to be high quality. And they'll buy the clothes back once you're done with them!

9/9/2011 11:52:32 AM

If you're going to have more than one child, I recommend buying basic clothes that are well made. I boxed up all of my maternity clothes the first time around and wore them again three years later. I wouldn't have even had to buy maternity clothes the second time if it weren't for the disparity in their due dates (1 was a winter baby and 2 summer baby).

9/9/2011 12:44:01 PM

Old Navy and JC Penny!! I would have never made it through if it hadn't been for some jeans I found at JC penny...so comfortable.

Belk's maternity section is not that great but I found some great work pants there...the line is three seasons maternity.

Also, those Target goucho maternity pants. Yes. Non-maternity ones are not the same.

Forgot about TJ Maxx! It was a good place for tops. For some reason, they have a lot of styles that "work" for maternity tops.

[Edited on September 9, 2011 at 3:14 PM. Reason : M]

9/9/2011 3:10:54 PM

For some reason the maternity clothes they have at Old Navy right now suck. I tried on a few of the pants and they just looked weird as hell on me. And the selection of shirts was pretty much non-existent. Really strange.

9/9/2011 5:11:32 PM

I bought some stuff at Motherhood and then I went on Craigslist. You'll find a lot of new moms selling stuff for dirt cheap just to get rid of it, and mostly really nice stuff. I got about 10 shirts and 5 pair of jeans for 50 bucks - most all the shirts were motherhood and the jeans were various brands.

I'll be selling my stuff after the second baby - boxing it until then.

9/9/2011 6:37:40 PM

I was wondering this today because I have an inquisitive 3 year old; what would you parents say to your kid if he/she walked in on you and your significant other in the act of a blow job? I know what I would say if it were sex but I am at a loss as to how to tell Maya about a blow job. I also don't want her thinking that is something she would ever do to her dad. I hope she NEVER walks in on us doing that because that is the utmost embarrassment for me. And I hope there is limited trolling (being in the lounge) because I am serious. I don't know what to say.

9/10/2011 11:50:51 AM

I dunno, but just try avoiding the issue by keeping it on the dl.

9/10/2011 12:08:27 PM

yeah, that is the hope but you NEVER know. I meant to say Old School. At least that gives me a little assurance that this question might be taken seriously.

9/10/2011 12:33:45 PM

Quote :

"I also don't want her thinking that is something she would ever do to her dad."

lol


Lock your door?

Tie a bell to her?

I would guess maybe explain it as a mommy daddy thing that only mommies and daddies do?

9/10/2011 1:24:00 PM

lock the door

9/10/2011 3:32:01 PM

Locking the door does seem the easiest solution.

9/10/2011 4:51:46 PM

That bell idea sounds good too. I might do that to my boys.

9/10/2011 5:11:09 PM

Modern Family agrees to lock the door

Just don't get a loud lock

9/10/2011 6:06:26 PM

The good thing about a young child catching you in the act is that they are not embarrassed by these situations yet. Sexual situations don't even register with my child yet because of the way we are raising our children. I am pretty hardcore into attachment parenting and natural family living. We rarely seek privacy in our house. We keep doors open. Our children sleep with us and bathe with us. Until my son develops modesty, we're clothing optional. We are openly and physically affectionate with our children and in front of our children. While we do have sex in private, we aren't secretive about it. My son has walked in on sexual situations, but because of the way he's grown up, it just hasn't crossed his mind yet that we're doing anything that's a curiosity.

/crazy hippy mom

That said, the more that he's exposed to other children and families and differing values, I'm sure that will change. I wouldn't handle oral sex any differently than regular sex. It's something special that adults in relationships do in private to express affection because it feels good. (Or however you choose to frame sex for your child.) The cooler and more matter of fact you are about it, the less of an 'event' it will be for your child.

9/10/2011 8:30:20 PM

^ahhh, so when you are preggers no longer hitting the cat box during that 9 months? Just head ehhh?



[Edited on September 11, 2011 at 2:16 PM. Reason : w]

9/11/2011 2:15:00 PM

i really can't make any sense of that comment in regards to bottombaby's post.

9/11/2011 3:10:38 PM

ehhh, yeah, skimmed it real fast, but wondering, I guess you have a healthy sex life at the beginning of a preganacy, but a couple months before due date it pretty much stops? I have read that after the baby the docs say wait a month or so? I guess there is no stopping oral though, lol.

9/11/2011 3:44:23 PM

Why would sex stop before the due date? Unless there's some sort of complication there's no reason to stop unless you want to.

9/11/2011 4:05:35 PM

sex is best between 3 to 5 months pregnant due to sensitivity. Guys should prepare to have fun with this, the orgasms for her just won't stop.

9/11/2011 4:42:54 PM

Hell, one of the things they suggest to get the baby to arrive is have sex, right?

As for sex after, I think they tell you to wait 6 weeks

9/11/2011 4:52:31 PM

Quote :

"The good thing about a young child catching you in the act is that they are not embarrassed by these situations yet. Sexual situations don't even register with my child yet because of the way we are raising our children. I am pretty hardcore into attachment parenting and natural family living. We rarely seek privacy in our house. We keep doors open. Our children sleep with us and bathe with us. Until my son develops modesty, we're clothing optional. We are openly and physically affectionate with our children and in front of our children. While we do have sex in private, we aren't secretive about it. My son has walked in on sexual situations, but because of the way he's grown up, it just hasn't crossed his mind yet that we're doing anything that's a curiosity. "

That's fucking creepy

9/11/2011 6:34:48 PM

Every family is unique, but the way that I am raising my children is far from unique. While you may think that it is creepy, social family nudity is quite natural and practiced in many cultures around the world. Research shows that children raised in such an environment have a better body image and grow into adults who are more comfortable with their sexuality than children raised in a modest household.

I wasn't raised too differently from the way that I'm raising my children. My mother is an uber hippy and raised my brothers and I in a similar fashion.

9/11/2011 7:46:03 PM

Yeah doesn't sound much different from how my family worked when I was younger.

I'm curious how you handled cosleeping when your kids were tiny. I'd be worried about rolling over on an infant while asleep.

9/11/2011 9:14:42 PM

We used a Close and Secure Sleeper by The First Years for both kids. We fit it in between my husband and I at the pillow level.

9/11/2011 9:21:15 PM

I saw something similar at Target and was wondering if they were worthwhile. Do you have a queen or king bed?

9/11/2011 9:22:28 PM

It is absolutely worthwhile. Not only were we able to use it at home, but we took it with us when we traveled. Even if you aren't cosleeping, it gives your baby a safe portable place to sleep.

We were in a queen sized bed with our son. We're in a king sized bed with our daughter. In the king, we use regular sized pillows instead of the king sized pillows and fit the sleeper between us. The width of the pillows + the sleeper is a perfect fit.

9/11/2011 9:31:58 PM

Quote :

"Why would sex stop before the due date? Unless there's some sort of complication there's no reason to stop unless you want to."

Honestly, it depends on the woman involved. Some women want sex up until the kids are born, others just get too sensitive or their hormones get too out of whack and it just has to stop.

And yeah, there's supposed to be a waiting period afterwards so the woman can heal up. I can't speak for vaginal births but after a c-section we had to wait for the wound to heal up before engaging in anything (you don't want to disrupt the wound).

9/13/2011 10:34:00 AM

it's 6 weeks after a vaginal delivery

9/13/2011 1:20:13 PM

does that mean that the vagina hurts for 6 weeks after birth?

9/13/2011 1:39:40 PM

well, a watermelon just went through a very small canal...it has to recuperate.

9/13/2011 1:49:17 PM

does it go back down to the same size?

9/13/2011 4:46:30 PM

For the most part.

9/13/2011 5:02:22 PM

Scored a bassinet, Baby Bjorn, bathtub, bottles, and cosleeper for $50 yesterday at the Morrisville Outlet Mall Thanks Mom and random nonprofit fundraiser that happened to be going on!

9/13/2011 5:07:36 PM

Not only does the vagina need to heal (especially if she tears), but you're also bleeding after birth for quite some time.

And that's a great score! Are you going to Kidz Consignment sale this weekend? I wanted to, but unfortunately will be out of town.

[Edited on September 13, 2011 at 5:48 PM. Reason : ]

9/13/2011 5:45:40 PM

^ I'm super excited about the sale. I really need some small stuff and hoping I can get it at the consignment sale.

9/13/2011 6:47:59 PM

^^ I think that's what I went to yesterday They were having a "soft opening" where you supposedly needed a pass to get in, but no one was checking for passes. Was able to shop without a crush of people there to annoy me

j/k apparently this was the one I went to: http://www.kidseverywear.com/

[Edited on September 13, 2011 at 9:15 PM. Reason : A]

9/13/2011 9:13:34 PM

Thanks for the info about the consignment sale....missed the boat on the first time moms shopping day
I think I might brave it on Saturday, though. I want a jogging stroller, STAT.

9/14/2011 9:01:12 PM