what are you doing scrumples?

12/27/2005 1:42:57 PM

[Edited on December 27, 2005 at 1:43 PM. Reason : j]

12/27/2005 1:43:00 PM

FREE THIS THREAD

12/27/2005 1:43:15 PM

[Edited on December 27, 2005 at 1:44 PM. Reason : k]

12/27/2005 1:43:25 PM

stop scrumpling this thread

12/27/2005 1:44:21 PM

[Edited on December 27, 2005 at 1:47 PM. Reason : k]

12/27/2005 1:45:19 PM

Brasky is ranked 8th in the AP College Football poll

12/27/2005 1:47:25 PM

12/27/2005 1:47:57 PM

12/27/2005 1:48:33 PM

12/27/2005 1:49:17 PM

12/27/2005 1:50:06 PM

[Edited on December 27, 2005 at 1:51 PM. Reason : k]

12/27/2005 1:50:36 PM

[Edited on December 27, 2005 at 1:51 PM. Reason : k]

12/27/2005 1:51:26 PM

[Edited on December 27, 2005 at 1:52 PM. Reason : ds]

12/27/2005 1:52:15 PM

[Edited on December 27, 2005 at 1:53 PM. Reason : k]

12/27/2005 1:53:13 PM

12/27/2005 1:55:24 PM

12/27/2005 1:58:14 PM

[Edited on December 27, 2005 at 1:59 PM. Reason : k]

[Edited on December 27, 2005 at 2:00 PM. Reason : k]

12/27/2005 1:59:16 PM

hahaha

12/27/2005 2:10:08 PM

Brasky lost his virginity before his dad did

12/27/2005 5:47:32 PM

^thats a pretty good one

12/27/2005 5:52:48 PM

Who controls the British pound? Who keeps the metric system down?

BILL BRASKY!!! BILL BRASKY!!!

Who leaves Atlantis off the maps? Who keeps the Martians under wraps?

BILL BRASKY!!! BILL BRASKY!!!

Who holds back the electric car? Who makes Steve Gutenberg a star?

BILL BRASKY!!! BILL BRASKY!!!

Who robs cavefish of their sight? Who rigs every Oscar night?

BILL BRASKY!!! BILL BRASKY!!!

1/6/2006 1:44:42 PM

When you hear footsteps behind you and you turn around but no one is there, its Brasky

1/6/2006 2:01:56 PM

Brasky only has two uses for butane: mixing it with Val-U-Rite or setting his hair on fire so he can read in bed.

1/6/2006 2:04:50 PM

Brasky, so quick on stories, he warps space-time, traveling back to the event, telling the participants "It's old" before it actually happens!

1/6/2006 2:09:05 PM

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures that Bill Brasky allows to live.

1/6/2006 2:10:43 PM

aha, i now have that simpsons song stuck in my head

1/6/2006 2:15:32 PM

Bill Brasky is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

1/10/2006 2:34:33 PM

Brasky can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

1/10/2006 2:39:18 PM

good fucking grief son

some of your best work in these last entries

bill brasky eats crayons and poops fruit loops

1/10/2006 2:45:47 PM

i've had a lot of time on my hands, and can you keep a secret......

i write them down sometimes






When ol' Brasky was born, the nurse said, “Holy crap! That’s Bill Brasky!” Then she had had sex with him. At that point, she was the third woman he had slept with.

1/10/2006 2:47:38 PM

Bill Brasky can divide by zero.

1/10/2006 2:51:40 PM

bill brasky invented the safety pin
he wasn't happy with his design

too safe

1/10/2006 3:02:49 PM

Bill Brasky is the last known person to tackle Vince Young.

Bill Brasky is Marcus Vick's mentor.

1/10/2006 3:07:26 PM

1/10/2006 3:15:46 PM

Bill Brasky borrowed my firstborn to use as a sex toy for his wife. Brasky told me that he uses coaxial cable to simulate the umbilical cord when he's shoving the baby up her pooper. He says that my baby gets HBO and Cinemax!

1/15/2006 2:33:43 PM

I saw a shrine to Brasky's penis on Easter Island. I'll be damned if it wasn't LIFE SIZE! It towered above everthing else.

1/15/2006 2:42:59 PM

I registered on TWW just to post in a Bill Brasky thread.

1/15/2006 2:59:48 PM

LOL...funny shit, foreal

1/15/2006 11:54:06 PM

Bill Brasky's tears cure cancer, but he is so badass that he has never cried...ever.

If you can see Bill Brasky, he can see you. If you can’t see Bill Brasky, you may be only seconds away from death.

Bill Brasky has counted to infinity. Twice.

Bill Brasky does not hunt because the word hunting infers
the probability of failure. Bill Brasky goes killing.

Bill Brasky doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.

Bill Brasky is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.

Bill Brasky sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Bill roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn’t stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

Bill Brasky once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

The opening scene of the movie “Saving Private Ryan” is loosely based on games of dodgeball Bill Brasky played in second grade.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Bill Brasky once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.

1/16/2006 1:17:10 AM

^^^^Bill Brasky actually told me about tww

and by "about tww" i mean "he raped my father"

1/16/2006 1:18:24 AM

Bill Brasky came into the pet store I work at once. By the time he left, the phrase, "There's more than one way to skin a cat" had been proven almost seventeen hundred times. Although he provided even more evidence than that for it, the alternative phrase, "There's more than one way to vivisect a bunny" never really caught on.

The expression, "wrap your mind around that" also comse from Brasky, but originally it described something that he literally did with your brain. As you'd expect, though, the "that" did indeed refer to Brasky's enormous member.

Also, when offered a choice between "paper" and "plastic" in checkout lines, Brasky always picks "the flesh of the living," because it's biodegradable and delicious.

1/16/2006 1:51:57 AM

Bill Brasky once ate a bunch of grapes and crapped out a bottle of dom

1/16/2006 4:08:12 AM

Replace "Wink Martindale" with "Bill Brasky" in here
http://www.somethingawful.com/

Bill Brasky owes 75 dollars to the Community Chest. Bill Brasky is evading a luxury tax. Bill Brasky just opened nine hotels on Boardwalk, and guess where you're about to land?

[Edited on January 16, 2006 at 9:05 AM. Reason : example]

1/16/2006 8:59:59 AM

Bill Brasky has called God a pussy to His face on seven occasions and gotten away with it.

Three of India's official languages are based on what Brasky sounds like after he's had too much whiskey, PCP, and undepleted uranium, respectively.

All humans would have cloaca if Brasky didn't tear them a new asshole at birth for no other reason besides giving him something else to rape.

1/18/2006 3:29:06 AM

^good ones!

I once saw Brasky at a hospital somewhere in New England. I asked a doctor what he was doing here and he simply replied, "Giving women abortions with nothing but a highlighter and a stick of chewing gum." Later that day wouldnt you know I catch up with Brasky and ask him how he is able to perform an abortion with a highlighter and a stick of chewing gum. He then procedes to impregnate me AND give me an abortion all under 45 seconds. Needless to say, I was greatful.

1/18/2006 9:16:49 AM

No actually those and yours are pretty terrible.

1/18/2006 10:35:52 AM

and wtf do you have to contribute?

1/18/2006 10:37:06 AM

How about you try and make one up without using the words "abortion, rape, fuck, shit"

1/18/2006 10:38:49 AM

read the whole thread

a lot of mine don't have those words in them

1/18/2006 10:39:36 AM