i just ate a whole pizza

11/23/2009 10:26:50 PM

I suck at complementing people. I made too many disguised/hidden complements this past weekend. Half the time people don't take them as I mean them too

11/23/2009 10:39:42 PM

you complimented me nicely!!!

11/23/2009 10:41:17 PM

Jeff Buckley's Hallelujah makes me cry. every. time.

11/23/2009 10:57:55 PM

Since I moved to Texas, I've gained about 10 pounds. I blame this on stress, poor eating habits for lunch and dinner, and not having a truly balanced diet.

I'm also damn lonely here.

11/23/2009 11:02:05 PM

Sometimes, I enjoy holding in my piss to the very last moment. I let the urge build up as I try to defeat the mega-ultra-super boss known only as Bladder. Over the years, I've been able to master peeing. I love that sensation you get when you hold it for so long and then you give in, releasing the pressure and giving into the urge. It's like a mini orgasm. I guess you could say I'm a level 72 piss spraying mage, for you hardcore gamers out there. I sometimes will play with the toilet, seeing how much of the surface I can fill with bubbles. Other times, I see how hard I can piss. You guys know what I'm talking about. I try to make the deepest tone possible. The harder you pee, the more intense the sound is when the stream penetrates the water's surface. This is sometimes quite self rewarding as I loathe in pride whenever I do a "good job." Sometimes when I am microwaving something for <1 min, I see how fast I can "dump my cargo." I can usually run to the restroom, jettison a full bladder of fluid, and return all zipped up in less than 40 seconds. Yes, that's seconds. My accuracy is only to be outdone by Robin Hood himself and I'm good for about a 7 foot stream on a good day. I am a pissing God.

Sometimes I'll throw in a toilet paper square or two and play battleship. Or if I find a spider around the house, I'll throw him in the toilet and see how long I can keep him under. When Poseidon is on vacation, I'm the guy he calls in to relieve him of duty. Haha. I said relieve...

That is all.

11/23/2009 11:11:05 PM

^BAHAHAHAHA

11/23/2009 11:15:10 PM

things are going pretty well so i feel like something bad is going to happen soon =/

11/23/2009 11:15:51 PM

even if you found that somewhere else that was still good for a laugh

11/23/2009 11:55:10 PM

^ what my confession? naw. I'm dead serious. I sent it to BubbleBobble as a pm your confession, but dude didn't post it up. I, so arrogantly proud of myself, felt the need to post it here instead

11/24/2009 9:52:10 AM

i just dropped nerds down my shirt.



not as bad as when i dropped grits down my dress though

11/24/2009 3:09:10 PM

For the first time in my entire college career (undergrad and grad), I am turning in an assignment late.

But it's not bothering me as much as it should. It was due Monday at 4pm, and it's only a 5 points per day deduction. I really want to get it done and turned in first thing tomorrow, but part of me is like "meh, what's 5 MORE points?"

11/25/2009 12:06:00 AM

and done.

whew.

11/25/2009 4:26:21 AM

atta boi

11/25/2009 4:32:07 AM

4 hrs of sleep....that's enough right?

11/25/2009 5:43:08 AM

HA!

still awake.

11/25/2009 6:05:56 AM

damn, when do you sleep?

11/25/2009 6:26:00 AM

i'll sleep when i'm dead

11/25/2009 6:58:54 AM

that's a good policy I suppose

11/25/2009 6:59:51 AM

Just paid off my ENTIRE amount of credit debt ($12k)

11/25/2009 7:21:52 AM

^wow! great job!

11/25/2009 12:11:56 PM

So happy

11/25/2009 12:14:17 PM

man, i would be too! i can't wait till i pay off almost everything. i'll have paid off my $4000 credit card debt by January!

11/25/2009 12:15:23 PM

I picture Optimum about 6'2" and really white with blond hair and a strawberry blond goatee. I think he dresses business casual...in my brain.

11/25/2009 12:17:36 PM

I'm actually 5'9", but the rest of that is pretty accurate.

11/25/2009 2:02:19 PM

Mariah Carey's "All I Want For Christmas Is You" really touches me. I really like the beat and lyrics. It's one of the few songs that really touch my heart and actually make me smile.

11/25/2009 3:37:38 PM

^gay much


















I like it too

11/25/2009 3:40:33 PM

I also enjoy Mariah Carey's "All I Want For Christmas Is You"

dont judge me!

11/25/2009 3:42:53 PM

I planned on getting up at a reasonable time to work on my car and play disc golf, but I slept 'till 3 fucking pm

11/25/2009 3:46:48 PM

i just saw the biggest woolybear i've ever seen. Going to take a picture.

11/25/2009 8:38:39 PM

and thats one of those larger size paperclips!

11/25/2009 9:21:11 PM

I apparently know all the words to "Any Man of Mine"

11/25/2009 9:25:03 PM

I feel pretty insignificant in life

and largely ignored

11/25/2009 10:22:09 PM

Quote :

"I apparently know all the words to "Any Man of Mine""

me and a buddy do too. that's a fun story that i'm not gonna tell sober.

11/25/2009 10:31:06 PM

Quote :

"I feel pretty insignificant in life and largely ignored"

The quicker you figure that out, the better.

11/25/2009 10:42:37 PM

haha goddamn

11/25/2009 10:49:29 PM

Quote :

"I feel pretty insignificant in life and largely ignored bored"

qft

11/25/2009 11:03:54 PM

I actually stopped playing World of Goo on the Wii in hopes of TWW would be kind of lively... I think I might head back.

11/26/2009 12:15:32 AM

^i downloaded that for a dollar a couple of weeks ago from slickdeals. very addictive. i got stuck though and haven't went back

11/26/2009 2:04:02 AM

I'm slightly intoxicated

11/26/2009 5:10:14 AM

Whenever I would have suicidal thoughts, one of the first things to come to my mind was that I wouldn't want to saddle my family with my debt (that they didn't know about)

I paid it off completely on Tuesday.

11/26/2009 8:08:02 PM

so, now you're free to off yourself?

I mean, if you're going to kill yourself, would you mind if I hit that first?

11/26/2009 8:09:34 PM

Why is it, that I am so calm natured when sober, and when I am drunk, every fucking opinion on earth comes out.

11/26/2009 10:12:17 PM

a drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts

11/26/2009 10:13:54 PM

Often when I am around my mother I feel like I have ~15 seconds until I will be physically unable to restrain myself from punching her.

11/26/2009 10:17:02 PM

Thanks for being so nice EMCE

11/26/2009 10:36:49 PM

i spent way too much money today.

11/27/2009 7:54:54 PM

I look forward to hanging out with this girl tomorrow night...

11/27/2009 11:25:49 PM

i had a dream last night that he came back - and i let him.

dreams will not becoming reality on that one

11/29/2009 8:28:08 AM

oh dear

11/29/2009 8:29:01 AM