This is what that book, the Art of Happiness taught me.

Say you're stuck in a traffic jam. You get pissed off because you're late. You honk your horn. You get all huffy and puffy. But you can do nothing about it. It is completely out of control. A huge source of unhappiness in our lives is our want to change things that can't be changed, no matter how hard we try. Instead of trying to change things that can't, change things that you do have an effect on. There's nothing you can do about your current situation. You can change things within yourself, make yourself better, make yourself stronger. Those are things that you have to concentrate on or else, you'll be stuck in a futile attempt to change things that will never change no matter how hard you try and will only make you unhappy.

11/22/2005 12:38:45 PM

this is an excerpt from an e-mail she sent me a few months ago:

Quote :

"The trying times now are of the heart, and emotions. I'm making a concious decision to take a risk in being alone, no safety net, no seat belt. I need to do this now, in order to know that I'm doing the right thing, if it is a mistake then I have to find out. The best teacher is life experience. "

either way - i'm letting go and moving on .............. it's going to be TOUGH !!!

11/22/2005 1:30:56 PM

who the fuck actually sits there and blows their horn in a traffic jam?

11/22/2005 1:32:17 PM

You don't live in floriday dude.

AND SOMEONE GET THIS SHIT OUT OF THE LOUNGE FOR CHRISSAKES

11/22/2005 1:41:21 PM

this is lounge material its for serious dialogue.

11/22/2005 3:02:34 PM

if you live together why is she sending you emails, thats gay

11/22/2005 3:10:56 PM

we chat on sidekicks . . . it's like a e-mail pager thing.

11/22/2005 3:15:21 PM

Quote :

"who the fuck actually sits there and blows their horn in a traffic jam"

cubans, new yorkers, and south floridians

11/22/2005 3:16:44 PM

wow abonorio seems like one of the few mature guys who actually understands a lot about life and relationships...

he gives great advice...im shocked

11/22/2005 3:28:27 PM

Quote :

"cubans, new yorkers, and south floridians"

cubans and south floridians? redundant?

11/22/2005 3:28:35 PM

i'm still confused as to how you could say this:

Quote :

"you guys got it all wrong. i wouldn't even go as far to call what I did cheating. It was just sex"

when you had sex with somebody else three times and had an emotional attachment/ relationship with that haitian girl.

if that's not cheating, what the fuck is?

[Edited on November 22, 2005 at 3:33 PM. Reason : disillusion]

11/22/2005 3:32:27 PM

the sex partners. well actually (2) different ones and one was an extreme fondling episode were based on the physical only there was no emotional exchange. it was protected and i never revisited it. there really is no argument for it i was wrong and i'll keep this a secret. and the new girl is someone I met maybe 2 weeks ago and we're just good friends that have a strong attraction to each other. i wouldn't cross the line with her, especially while me and my soon to be offical ex-girlfriend are living together.

11/22/2005 3:43:31 PM

It seems you're still not taking full responsibility though. It was cheating. Admit that. For real. It's your option to tell her or not, but you should at least be honest with yourself.

11/22/2005 3:52:43 PM

i know what it was. i cheated. i did dirt, and honestly it was out of boredom and the not knowing being that we were long distance for a period of time. and shit happens, things get out of hand. i own up to what i did.

i guess i'm about to find out an answer to the quote about loving something, letting go and seeing if it comes back to you. i guess i get to see if that bullsh!t is true or not.


TO BE CONTINUED . . .

11/22/2005 3:54:50 PM

I'll save you the suspense (and hopefully you'll be better off because of it): DON'T COUNT ON IT. Hope is a double-edged sword if you place your hope in the wrong things. You can hope that one day, you'll meet someone better and before that time, hope that you can improve yourself. But if you hang on to hope that this particular girl may or may not come back to you, you're looking at a long miserable time. Let it all go, for real, don't just say it, actually let it all go. Hang onto nothing. If she comes back, that's an added bonus. If she doesn't, you weren't counting on it anyway. That's a no loss strategy. Easier said than done. It took me 3 months to get to the point of finally saying "fuck it" and I actually did NOTHING at all to deserve her walking out on me. There comes a point in time where you have to start taking care of yourself.

Experience is the best counselor. You'll be consoling someone on here in a few months about the same thing.

[Edited on November 22, 2005 at 4:09 PM. Reason : .]

11/22/2005 4:08:45 PM

Your true love lives. And you marry another. True Love saved her in the Fire Swamp, and she treated it like garbage. And that's what she is, the Queen of Refuse. So bow down to her if you want, bow to her. Bow to the Queen of Slime, the Queen of Filth, the Queen of Putrescence. Boo. Boo. Rubbish. Filth. Slime. Muck. Boo. Boo. Boo.

11/22/2005 4:11:23 PM

Inconceivable.

11/22/2005 4:32:23 PM

Quote :

"I was an excellent guy to her. i was 110% percent."

An excellent guy at 110% does not cheat on his girlfriend. Plain and simple.

BUT......putting that aside....

Clearly the relationship with your soon to be ex was not meant to be. When you find someone you ultimately want to BE with for well for a long time, you won't have these conflicts in your head about whether it's the "right thing"

Move on, take some time for yourself and then start dating again when you feel ready. In this case it would be respectful to cut the ex-gf loose and let her move on with her life as well. She deserves a relationship that is the "real thing" as well.

11/22/2005 4:37:26 PM

dude you have been breaking up with this girl for months

after cheating happens the relationship is never the same

move on already

11/22/2005 4:42:25 PM

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11/22/2005 5:30:11 PM

i LOVE Princess Bride

& you screwed yourself...no offense but if you cheated on her you need to reevalute the situation..cuz i dont think you love her as much as you think you do....once is terrible but maybe an accident...cheating on her this many times...you dont really care about her or hurting her feelings..

11/23/2005 4:40:45 PM

i knew I shouldn't have opened my e-mail. she sent this - wtf? does it mean.

Quote :

"I believe that you are my angel, the love that we share can never be replaced. I think that if its writen then we willl be together when the time is right. I don't want to to force it. I need to mature. This relationship has been a learning experience, you've taught me responsibility, unconditional love, exploring self, and not to mention our intense sexual eperiences. Those lessons have not been in vain and I want u to know that. Lets take the good from our relatiinship and become better people. You're all I hope to be one day and I know I'm not there. Now its time for me to venture on my own to experience life without my security blanket. Its important to me. Please try to understand. Ill always love u..... Call me "

12/1/2005 9:46:58 AM

i means she found a bigger cock....

However... bad investment imo ... shoulda bought a rock together instead of a condo.(do your research... the stats are mindnumbing)

Sorry though... lovesickness sucks

12/1/2005 9:58:20 AM

^Rocks don't fix troubled relationships, or make people mature any quicker. That can actually be a bigger heartache in the end, because of the acceptance commitment.

You're in a bad position though, love-sickness does suck.

12/1/2005 10:24:30 AM

I can't believe that you've actually got more than one woman willing to have any kind of relationship with you, sexual or otherwise. You ruined the relationship the first time you even thought about having sex with another person, whether she found out or not. And now you're posting her emails on here, personal emails that were meant only for you?

Asshole.

12/1/2005 11:12:32 AM

everything in that email is total bullshit... you dont love someone then insist that you need to move on and will be back.. basically she is holding your ass in reserve and imo is being the asshole. do yourself a favor move the fuck on. and if it that hard, talk it over with friends or whoever else you are close with, b/c someone like that isnt someone to get involved with for longterm. they will continually pull that shit. its a personality trait at this point.

12/1/2005 1:42:26 PM

basically it means: peace, i wanna fuck other guys and maybe if you get me drunk enough ill let you fuck me again

12/1/2005 8:40:24 PM

It just sounds like she's having a really hard time with this and sees herself as not deserving of you. Since you're not man enough to tell her that you cheated on her and are seeing someone else right now, she still thinks you're wonderful. You're a fucking asshole, dude. Get a life and move on. She will too, once she finds out about your sexcapades and how you posted her very personal emails to you online. Jesus, just let it go. You are not the good guy here, she's better off without you.

12/1/2005 11:43:18 PM

well aside from his cheating... she isnt miss upstanding either. you dont say i want space, then hold someone on a string by going i might come back to you. They may not be equally guilty but she has her faults.

[Edited on December 1, 2005 at 11:50 PM. Reason : ...]

12/1/2005 11:49:58 PM

I think that it's pretty significant that you and the girl you met a few weeks ago and have feelings for have already talked about being attracted to one another. That seems to indicate that you were ready to move on. I'm also uncomfortable with how much your ex-g/f hero worships you. I hope she doesn't sincerely mean it, but then I also hope she's not lying. I think you should be honest with her about your affairs and your talking to this new girl. I don't know when would be the best timing but I think you should do it soon because I don't think this hero worship bodes well.

12/2/2005 5:47:21 AM

she's gone. i'm dying inside.

12/4/2005 5:15:16 PM

I HOPE YOU ARE DYING ALL OVER

AND THAT YOU'LL BE BARRIED SOON

12/4/2005 5:15:47 PM

sometimes when I read crap like this I wish there was a pic of what the person looks like, so I can RUN AWAY if I ever met them.

You cheated on her w/ multiple ppl. She comes clean with her one. And you dont come clean about yours?? She's feeling like a horrible person who doesnt deserve you- you let her feel that way- and then claim to LOVE HER???

You sir, are pathetic.

[Edited on December 4, 2005 at 6:26 PM. Reason : ...]

12/4/2005 6:23:54 PM

Quote :

"This is what that book, the Art of Happiness taught me. Say you're stuck in a traffic jam. You get pissed off because you're late. You honk your horn. You get all huffy and puffy. But you can do nothing about it. It is completely out of control. A huge source of unhappiness in our lives is our want to change things that can't be changed, no matter how hard we try. Instead of trying to change things that can't, change things that you do have an effect on. There's nothing you can do about your current situation. You can change things within yourself, make yourself better, make yourself stronger. Those are things that you have to concentrate on or else, you'll be stuck in a futile attempt to change things that will never change no matter how hard you try and will only make you unhappy. "

I haven't read this book, but St. Francis (I believe) said it best. "Lord, give me the courage to change the things I can and the patience to accept the things I can't"

12/4/2005 6:27:55 PM

^Serenity Prayer

12/4/2005 6:59:22 PM

i want her back.

i broke down and called her this weekend and spent the night and spent the whole day together sunday. nothing sexual came out of it. @ the last minute I tried. she was getting dress to leave out for the night with some friends. she said the whole thing is a little off guard being that i haven't returned any calls in 3 weeks and then I just pop up and want sex all of a sudden.


i guess you can't win for losing, but I want my ex-gf back .. . . . . fuck everything pride and dignity and all the other bullsh!t.

12/19/2005 9:26:59 AM

this is so fucking pathetic...





move this farce to chit chat




on second thought, it is kinda hilarious too!

12/19/2005 10:04:09 AM

Sounds like someone is confusing his wang for his heart.

12/19/2005 10:11:44 AM

its not confusion it's all heart. i has happy just sleeping in the same bed with her the other night.

12/19/2005 10:36:11 AM

Quote :

" fuck everything pride and dignity and all the other bullsh!t."

You'll get far in life with that philosophy.

12/19/2005 10:57:04 AM

whatever G. i just want my girl back.

12/19/2005 11:01:06 AM

i planting flowers in her vases today too before I go over and clean up some stuff that I left behind.

12/19/2005 11:01:41 AM

don't grovel though. She'll know that she can do whatever she wants and you'll come crawling back at her feet. Show a little dignity.

If you want her back, great, go for it. But don't overkill it. I know this from experience.

To end the suspense: I didn't get the girl back.

[Edited on December 19, 2005 at 11:03 AM. Reason : .]

12/19/2005 11:02:49 AM

Quote :

"nothing sexual came out of it. @ the last minute I tried"

ummmm obviously you're pitiful and a wee bit on the stupid side so stop bothering her

12/19/2005 11:04:48 AM

It sounds like you need to go for a swim in Lake You.

Feel good thread of the year.

12/19/2005 11:04:58 AM

Damn man, wicked bummer about the situation, no matter what, DO WHAT YOUR HEART SAYS, just be sure its coming straight from the heart

your brain can try and twist reasoning and try to make you second guess yourself, but the heart wants what it wants man, dont stop believing

12/19/2005 2:03:40 PM

Quote :

"your brain penis can try and twist reasoning and try to make you second guess yourself, but the heart penis wants what it wants man, dont stop believing"

There, I fixed it for you.

[Edited on December 19, 2005 at 2:06 PM. Reason : .]

12/19/2005 2:05:57 PM

is this dude for real?

12/19/2005 2:08:20 PM

i just miss her. that's all.

12/19/2005 2:41:29 PM

would you please stop trolling these people! DAMN!!

12/19/2005 4:18:22 PM