yes, feeling even the desire to call someone out for getting you a cheap gift just shows how spoiled you are.

a normal person would just re-gift 'em next year

12/22/2005 6:19:32 PM

You seem to do a much better job communicating with TWW than you do with your parents. Or at least it seems that way from this thread.

Quote :

"Have you tried talking to either parent yet? It seems to me (at least from the thread title) you are being immediately accusatory without knowing the full background/intentions of the parents. They may have gone though with something WITH good intentions but not explained it. Ask them about it ... ask if its something new they've started, as its not what you are traditionally used to."

12/22/2005 6:25:16 PM

I like blowing my parents out of the water with my gifts to them... its a nice little reminder that I'm doing well and capable of fending for myself...

its fun, and I buy anything I want for myself anyways so I have trouble thinking up a decent list.

(and yes I have a very nice retirement package already started, I'm frugal as hell so I can bankroll big things like christmas and my toys)

12/22/2005 11:49:48 PM

yeah... i don't think you should call your dad out on what he did.
my uncle's third wife is a complete nazi troll... she despises that we (my family and I) exist, and vice versa. if my uncle doesn't act quickly and behind her back, she'll get all of us presents that don't match and are completely absurd.
last year they gave my 6 year old sister (who was 5 then) this tacky puke orange fleece throw. it's one thing to give a throw, but it's another to give one that is already falling apart and absolutely hideous to a little kid. Oh, and then they wrapped up an old dictionary that they had gotten from my great-grandmother's estate on accident for my gift. Granted one of her books that had MEANING to it would have been a cool gift.
We spent a lot of time and effort on getting them great gifts... you could see it in their faces when they saw the comparison of gifts. Needless to say, they are now sitting on tons of $$ because they have both gotten large sums of money from distant relatives wills. We don't plan on putting any effort into their gifts this year. (there is more to this story, but I digress)

[Edited on December 23, 2005 at 6:22 AM. Reason : ]

12/23/2005 6:21:38 AM

Quote :

"I get one book on business and team management (which is odd since I am in the military) and that's it. "

haha i cant get over that sentence. its like he went into a bookstore with his eyes closed and his hands out and the first book he ran into was the one he chose to get for his son. there is obviously no thought or consideration involved. i would be pissed too. it would be different if it was a random coworker or something. but its his dad...i mean cmon...

12/23/2005 12:59:26 PM

I always thought it was giving and not receiving but whatever

12/23/2005 1:01:42 PM

i would think that team management is pretty relevant to the military
and the book on business probably has things that can be applied too

i mean you are in the coast guard, you arent in a fox hole in iraq

12/23/2005 2:07:32 PM

^true, but there are coasties over in iraq and in the gulf as strange as it may sound...
It may have meaning, I hope so, I've gotten over it, just live in learn, I think the best advice thus far has been to not expect anything and then you won't be disappointed.. certainly what my mantra will be from now on!

12/23/2005 4:56:13 PM

I think that once you're married you're officially an adult, and at that point you shouldn't be expecting Santa (aka daddy) to bring you lots of cool toys. Keeping score like this is one of the things that has turned a lot of people off about holidays. Maybe he bought those books because he really liked them and thought you would too?

There could be lots of explanations for his gifts, and saying anything about it just makes you sound like a spoiled brat who never learned manners. Since you love your Dad I'm sure you will keep making an effort to give him presents he will like without worrying about what he has done for you lately.

12/23/2005 8:47:27 PM

Yeah, since I've done the marriage thing my parents have pretty much left me alone. They bought me one present this year that was a do not open 'til Xmas one (they sent a box of goodies, too, with three of their ornaments, some cookies, a little stuffed penguin, and one of my stockings). They didn't even get us a wedding present, although pretty much everyone else I know contributed something. I don't think my husband's gotten a lot of presents since he was younger, either. I don't really mind, it gave me the opportunity to focus more on the things I wanted to get him. And whatever we have gotten, we both really appreciate.
If someone bitched about what I got them, I wouldn't ever buy them a present again. It's one thing to tactfully point out a flaw (i.e. "This is great, but I already have one."). It's a whole other thing to assume that someone with money is going to buy you something expensive.

12/25/2005 6:06:05 AM

used books at the fleamarket are hidden gold... and funny to see their reactions

12/25/2005 2:28:01 PM

cue Doctor Phil guitar song

12/25/2005 3:03:27 PM

Seriously, how can you possibly say a book on business and team management is not relevant to you being in the military? I read on your profile that you are an officer. It bothers me to think that you either feel that you aren't part of a team or even worse, that you already know everything there is to know about being a leader/manager. It sounds to me like your dad found a gift that was quite relative yet you are either too ignorant or too arrogant to realize it.

Oh yeah, by the way... calling someone out?? Particularly your dad? This sounds like the behaviour of a 12 year old kid, not a 29 year old man who is supposed to be leading enlisted people.

12/25/2005 4:30:30 PM

Quote :

"I just needed to vent last night and started this thread"

hence the saying "call him out" i was pissed at the time at the lack of effort and thought.

Right now, I am not part of any team I am in school and will be for the next 2 years. however when I get back to the fleet, I absolutely will be part of a team and possibly in a leadership situation. I can assure you that neither ignorance nor arrogance palyed any factor in my complaining about the book. I never said it wasn't appropriate, I know it may be of use in some way in the future but not for quite some time. Given that you spent some time in the Navy I'm curious how you would apply a book about nascar (which this particular book focus is on) to aviation.
Heck I don't even like nascar or the business behind it.

All I am saying is that it was a thoughtless inapproriate gift, I don't care about the $ spent, but I do wish some thought would have gone into what he did for me like he did for my brother, step-mother and the rest of my family. And as I said in previous posts, I will keep it in the back of my mind for next time, and thats it.

12/25/2005 9:35:39 PM

my dad just gives me a check each christmas. i wish he would put some thought into it

12/25/2005 9:57:07 PM

He probably thought about how many zero's to put in it.

12/25/2005 10:29:18 PM

I don't think there's anything wrong with being pissed about a shitty gift.

When a gift didn't require thought or showed signs of complete nonfeasance (like a business book for someone with no business interests) then it isn't "the thought that counts" because they didn't think. When the shirt they buy you is too small, that's an innocent mistake, but he fucked you...hard

12/25/2005 11:03:28 PM

Quote :

"I get one book on business and team management (which is odd since I am in the military) and that's it."

You never said anything about Nascar in your initial post. And to answer your question, I am still in the Navy and have been for over 8 years now. I have not read the book, but if it is on management then it is definitely something that could help me in some way, as in my opinion, even the best leader will have room to grow.

If you really felt like this gift was inappropriate, then I would suggest speaking with your father. Explain to him that you spend a lot of time on gifts, and you were concerned as to whether he was reciprocating your invested time. Remember, he is your father. Also remember that some people just don't like buying Christmas gifts. I personally hate it. Fortunately, my wife loves to shop so the only person I have to buy for is her, and for her I love to surprise her, so I can tolerate it. I would say he probably just doesn't like to shop and doesn't think about the fact it may hurt your feelings.

** Note, there is a drastic difference between pulling him aside and discussing your problem and "calling him out".

12/26/2005 12:34:47 AM

coppertop

Quote :

"Right now, I am not part of any team I am in school and will be for the next 2 years. however when I get back to the fleet, I absolutely will be part of a team and possibly in a leadership situation. I can assure you that neither ignorance nor arrogance palyed any factor in my complaining about the book. I never said it wasn't appropriate, I know it may be of use in some way in the future but not for quite some time. Given that you spent some time in the Navy I'm curious how you would apply a book about nascar (which this particular book focus is on) to aviation. Heck I don't even like nascar or the business behind it. All I am saying is that it was a thoughtless inapproriate gift, I don't care about the $ spent, but I do wish some thought would have gone into what he did for me like he did for my brother, step-mother and the rest of my family. And as I said in previous posts, I will keep it in the back of my mind for next time, and thats it."

12/26/2005 2:14:52 AM

you're complaining about Asimov's Foundation series?

you suck (in my opinion)!

12/26/2005 2:39:51 AM

well, if it wasn't the first two books, that might be something to bitch about

12/26/2005 2:41:07 AM