i would be the happiest girl in the world if someone did that for me. i don't want a ring at all, they're annoying and get in the way. i want to get matching band-style tattoos on our ring fingers, and use the money for something else... a charity is a GREAT idea. just don't send it to that sally struthers lady, she'll use it on nachos and pizza.

[Edited on July 7, 2006 at 5:54 PM. Reason : poop]

7/7/2006 5:53:19 PM

hah.

7/7/2006 6:00:49 PM

Quote :

"A diamond ring is an investment"

I guess in the figurative "investment in a relationship" sense, maybe. Otherwise, no.

7/7/2006 6:07:48 PM

instead of an engagement ring, you can offer to put the $$ in an investment account, or in bond, so it would accumulate interest for your children's and grandchildren's college/trust funds. I think that's very sensible, assuming you two would want children. And someday, when you have more $$, you can make it up to her. 3 stone anniversary rings are very pretty

7/8/2006 4:18:27 PM

I would never go into a marriage, thinking, "We're gonna be together for the rest of our lives!!! Yay!!!" I'd hope for that, and I'd work towards that, but I'd never expect and rely on that.

Keep in mind I'm not a desirable mate. But let's say there was some guy that was a little off and appreciated me romantically...I'd like as much jewelry as I can get. That's my "Shit to Pawn After Shit Goes Sour" stash.

[Edited on July 8, 2006 at 4:36 PM. Reason : ]

7/8/2006 4:36:11 PM

Quote :

"guys would you give up blowjobs in exchange for a donation to the charity of your choice? didnt think so "

what a ridiculous question! a woman doesn't expend any money when giving a blowjob. therefore, it doesn't make any sense to suggest reappropriating funds, which you're not spending in the first place, for another use (a charitable contribution in this case). unless, you're saying that you would give some "make a wish" kid a blowjob instead of your fiance.

Quote :

"instead of an engagement ring, you can offer to put the $$ in an investment account, or in bond, so it would accumulate interest for your children's and grandchildren's college/trust funds. I think that's very sensible, assuming you two would want children. And someday, when you have more $$, you can make it up to her. 3 stone anniversary rings are very pretty"

that would be pretty sensible. i doubt a woman who would agree to that exists.

[Edited on July 8, 2006 at 5:03 PM. Reason : ]

7/8/2006 5:01:52 PM

^Offensive jokes should be funny. Also following an offensive joke with "" doesn't make it any less offensive. And, just to put it out there, superchevy, just because your mom was a silly woman, it doesn't mean all women are that way--or did you develop your stereotype of women based on another source?


Anyway, this argument depends on how important tradition is to you, not how "sensible" you are or how much you care about charity. (Although I can see how adhering to tradition may be viewed as not sensible.)

ssjamind, it's a beautiful gesture, a nice way to "bless" a marriage, but some women care more about tradition and money than that.

[Edited on July 8, 2006 at 5:26 PM. Reason : a to e]

7/8/2006 5:26:09 PM

i agree with shawna and ambrosia (and whoever else said it). i would rather have a modest ring and use the money towards the future. whether it's an awesome honeymoon or something like a new house, or just shit we need in general, i'd rather have a ring that looks nice, but nothing over the top.

7/8/2006 5:32:35 PM

How about be rich enough to afford a ring as well as donate a lot of money to charity?

7/8/2006 5:33:46 PM

To all the women who are talking about "modest" rings, what do you consider "modest"?

The majority of women out there are wearing "modest" rings.

How wealthy do you expect your man to be that he can afford a "modest" ring and an extra special honeymoon or whatever?

7/8/2006 5:55:45 PM

if airfare/hotel wasn't free as well as a $1000 gift certificate to be used at the hotel for the spa/restaraunts i doubt we'd be going to hawaii and thus the ring would have been smaller probably - i got what i felt i could reasonably afford and not worry about it

7/8/2006 6:10:06 PM

def the ring....it doesn't have to be big, but the ring is important when someones getting engaged!

7/8/2006 6:15:12 PM

modest ring, splashy 60" high def TV for the living room.

If you've got to have something to show off, might as well impress his friends as well as mine.

7/8/2006 6:37:08 PM

2 months salary is an obscene amount of money to spend on some rock pulled out of the dirt by slave labor, fortunately for me my grandmother left me her ring.

7/8/2006 6:52:58 PM

well, i think what my dad did for my mom's engagement ring was really sweet. i don't know where he went, etc, but he got a loose emerald (or maybe 2-3), let my mom pick the cut and setting for the ring. it's not a huge ring, but it's pretty. it's a small emerald cut emerald, and on each side of the emerald are a 2 small diamonds, and a small emerald (in between the 2 diamonds). it's a gold ring. it's really pretty, imo, and i have a feeling he saved at least SOME money on it, in comparison to buying an emerald ring.

7/8/2006 7:15:20 PM

silly, fatty. i wasn't making a joke.

7/8/2006 7:28:43 PM

i think that if youre gonna ask a girl to marry you, youd know her well enough to know if shed be pumped about the charity donation, or if shed rather you put it down for a house or a college fund, or towards the wedding, or a traditional engagement ring

but i think if you go for options other than the ring, you should still give her a ring, even if its a plain silver one, the symbol IS important

7/8/2006 9:21:15 PM

^^So you're a misogynist who thinks women aren't sensible, particularly when it comes to money?

7/8/2006 11:31:16 PM

Quote :

"It's just the start of a life's worth of worthless fucking purchases whose sole function is to showoff to her friends. Windows, flooring, curtains, furniture, clothes, babies, etc."

lawls

[Edited on July 8, 2006 at 11:48 PM. Reason : babies = $texas]

7/8/2006 11:44:37 PM

Normally, I'm down with tradition and shit, and the idea of spending money doesn't kill me.

But reading this thread, I can only say: Goddamn, some of you bitches are selfish harpies.


[Edited on July 9, 2006 at 12:10 AM. Reason : that would be the neuter use of "bitches," incidentally]

7/9/2006 12:09:43 AM

Okay, ladies, if you had to pick between a ring and a lifetime of exceptional lovemaking and you couldn't have both, what would you pick?

I'd pick the lovemaking.

I got my priorities in check.

7/9/2006 12:24:44 AM

aw, the m.u.f.f. thinks it's astute. how adorable!

7/9/2006 12:26:25 AM

This thread is TERRIBLE, and comments like

Quote :

"To all the women who are talking about "modest" rings, what do you consider "modest"? The majority of women out there are wearing "modest" rings. How wealthy do you expect your man to be that he can afford a "modest" ring and an extra special honeymoon or whatever?"

Sure aren't helping

Quote :

"2 months salary is an obscene amount of money to spend on some rock pulled out of the dirt by slave labor, fortunately for me my grandmother left me her ring. "

I was aghast when I heard that was a rough guideline. For him, that'd be a brand new car, and no thanks...I'd rather have a brand new car than a ring...or like I said, a boat

Quote :

"i think that if youre gonna ask a girl to marry you, youd know her well enough to know if shed be pumped about the charity donation, or if shed rather you put it down for a house or a college fund, or towards the wedding, or a traditional engagement ring but i think if you go for options other than the ring, you should still give her a ring, even if its a plain silver one, the symbol IS important"

Pretty well sums it up. I'd settle for a copper ring (granted, it'd be fancy-"ish", but that's a sentimental desire, borne of family tradition).

If your girl thinks an engagement ring is a status symbol, I sure hope you like being henpecked. And be prepared for a huge fit if you ever disagree with her on material things, because women who feel the need to compete over what should be a sentimental piece of jewelry are mostly worthless cunts. And if she pulls the "but that's traditional/expected!" line...well, so was being a virgin on your wedding night.

7/9/2006 12:42:40 AM

superchevy:

You said women aren't sensible.

I pointed it out.

You didn't deny it.

And now you're caling me names and accusing me of thinking I'm "astute." By no means do I think picking up on your ridiculous attitudes makes me astute. You're making it pretty obvious.

7/9/2006 12:47:28 AM

I hope you hard-core anti-ring people have never owned a piece of art, or spent any more money than absolutely necessary over an aesthetic concern.

7/9/2006 1:06:17 AM

if my ring doesnt cost AT LEAST $20k

i am soooo saying no

who the fuck does he think hes kidding









durrrrrrrrr

bitches go crazy over this shit

ps: gimmie da gold

7/9/2006 1:13:32 AM

^ ahahaha so who's your next boyfriend gonna be?

7/9/2006 1:23:14 AM

your dad

7/9/2006 1:25:22 AM

7/9/2006 1:27:36 AM

is McDanger's dad into men/animals?

7/9/2006 1:28:51 AM

its ok McLover, i'll keep you for a little longer

<3333333

7/9/2006 1:29:48 AM

ambrosia1231, what's wrong with my question? You all are saying, "I'd like a modest ring, and we can spend the rest on a honeymoon or save it or whatever." What's wrong with just getting a modest ring? Why do women always have to stipulate it when they talk about shit like this?

I'm gonna get a ring out of a cereal box and flaunt that shit, and when women raise an eyebrow, I won't talk about how he's "just starting out" or how we are "saving for a trip to Europe." I'll look those bitches dead in the eye and tell them that my man fucks like a god, and I couldn't give two shits about a ring.

7/9/2006 1:41:23 AM

Does anyone actually spend 2 months salary on this shit?? DeBeers wants you to spend 2 months salary because it makes them rich, sheep.

7/9/2006 1:43:02 AM

Quote :

"You all are saying, "I'd like a modest ring, and we can spend the rest on a honeymoon or save it or whatever." What's wrong with just getting a modest ring? Why do women always have to stipulate it when they talk about shit like this?"

I didn't say there was anything wrong with it.
It's called anticipating a reaction, or in my case, with the boat...I'd really rather have a boat than a ring, and since a boat costs more than a ring...you put that money towards the ring. I like how you think I'm trying to stipulate how he spends his money. It's his, and while he might be willing to spend it on me, that doesn't mean I gain control of it.


As for "modest"...obviously, our ideas of "modest" are different, because the majority of the rings I see on younger women (read: younger than today's grandparents) are too flashy and I find them disgusting.

^It seems that way. I had no idea about that "guideline" until a couple months ago.

[Edited on July 9, 2006 at 1:46 AM. Reason : lajsa ]

7/9/2006 1:45:59 AM

Quote :

"ambrosia1231: As for "modest"...obviously, our ideas of "modest" are different, because the majority of the rings I see on younger women (read: younger than today's grandparents) are too flashy and I find them disgusting."

That's what you should have said before, instead of saying that my comment wasn't helping the thread. I was trying to further the discussion by asking questions of the "modesty" advocates. I didn't know that asking questions was "bad for the thread." I also didn't know you were the designated comment value determiner.

Quote :

"ambrosia1231: I didn't say there was anything wrong with it."

Yeah, I thought that's what you were saying. You didn't give me much else to go on beyond "this comment isn't helping the thread at all." My bad.

Quote :

"ambrosia1231: It's called anticipating a reaction, or in my case, with the boat...I'd really rather have a boat than a ring, and since a boat costs more than a ring...you put that money towards the ring. I like how you think I'm trying to stipulate how he spends his money. It's his, and while he might be willing to spend it on me, that doesn't mean I gain control of it."

I have no idea what you're talking about when you say "it's called anticipating a reaction." All I know is sassy, condescending talk starts with "It's called..." It's comparable to explaining yourself and then following it up with "duh."

I wasn't suggesting that you're trying to stipulate the way he spends his money or gain control of it. I was talking about the fact that many women stipulate why their ring is the way it is. If it's going to be over the top, they laugh and say, "Yeah, he's going all out." If it's going to be small or inexpensive, they say, "We're saving the rest for a trip/boat/etc..."

And you're still not getting my point. You're still talking about more money. I should clarify what I mean when I say, "What's wrong with just getting a modest ring?" So here goes: what's wrong with getting a modest ring and having just enough for a month's rent left?

I'm just pointing to the fact that all the "modesty" advocates are still talking about their man as if he is going to have more money.

[Edited on July 9, 2006 at 2:20 AM. Reason : sss]

7/9/2006 2:17:58 AM

Quote :

"I hope you hard-core anti-ring people have never owned a piece of art, or spent any more money than absolutely necessary over an aesthetic concern"

silly mcdanger, trolling is for chit chat

7/9/2006 7:57:09 AM

Quote :

"aw, the m.u.f.f. thinks it's astute."

ahaha, I thought I was the only one who used 'm.u.f.f.'

7/9/2006 8:37:41 AM

i fuck like god, carry around a diamond the size of a ring pop, and give away cars like oprah...

do they have a silhouette of someone taking in the butt and then the mouth? SHE'LL PRETTY MUCH HAVE TO.

7/9/2006 10:42:02 AM

If I ever get married, I'm gonna make a ring for her. One that is nicer than any overpriced store bought shit

7/9/2006 11:14:16 AM

Quote :

"I have no idea what you're talking about when you say "it's called anticipating a reaction." All I know is sassy, condescending talk starts with "It's called..." It's comparable to explaining yourself and then following it up with "duh.""

Typical response to "no, I don't want a huge ring" is "why not?"

Quote :

""What's wrong with just getting a modest ring?" So here goes: what's wrong with getting a modest ring and having just enough for a month's rent left?"

There's not. I don't recall ever saying there was; however, if he's going to earmark money for nonessentials for us...boat > ring.

^design it, or do the smithing and etc yourself?

7/9/2006 4:42:23 PM

Take a few $$'s of what you were going to spend on the ring to give to charity... but I want something to show off to all my friends and family...

7/9/2006 4:44:54 PM

I have a question that kinda goes along with this.

If you got married at first and didn't have a lot to spend on a ring at the time, as a guy would you feel compelled to get a nicer ring? Or ladies, would you be expecting to get a bigger rock when you were more financially stable?

Some of you may or may not know that I was engaged to my wife when we found out she was pregnant, so we pushed up the wedding date A LOT so we could fit the wedding in before she began showing bad. Shotgun wedding haha we just didn't want to have a baby together and not be married since we were already engaged (it wasn't like Duke's chick trying to trap him in). At the time I was still in school and just working part-time, so I only dropped about 250 on her band and 250 on her engagement ring.

Now that we have a house together and are more financially stable, I have asked about getting her something bigger to show off and she says no, she really likes her original rings and doesn't want anything flashy. She is the opposite of a high maintenance girl and I really believe she is saying that honestly and not just in some trying to be nice kinda way. She says she would rather have the money for us to move to Charlottesville and get a nicer house. So ladies if you were in her position, would you feel the same way? Or guys, would you still go out and drop a couple g's on a big ol' rock anyhow? If she tells me she doesn't want it, I'm inclined to do what she says.

7/9/2006 4:56:16 PM

can't blame a fatty for being stupid, i suppose. afterall, they are fat for a reason.

7/9/2006 4:57:49 PM

yeah i know some people that have upgraded the center stone down the road but most women that i've talked to about it want the original their whole life because of the significance of it

7/9/2006 4:59:20 PM

Quote :

"ambrosia1231: There's not. I don't recall ever saying there was; however, if he's going to earmark money for nonessentials for us...boat > ring."

I never said you said there was. That's the question I've been asking this entire time. You just answered it. I'm glad we could finally communicate.

Quote :

"ambrosia1231: Typical response to "no, I don't want a huge ring" is "why not?""

But I didn't ask that.

And, superchevy, I say stupid shit on here all the time. This is not one of those times. Just wait for it. You'll have your chance.

7/9/2006 5:29:15 PM

Quote :

"yeah i know some people that have upgraded the center stone down the road but most women that i've talked to about it want the original their whole life because of the significance of it"

bingo

7/9/2006 6:26:49 PM

if an upgrade/'nicer ring' was wanted by the wife, or if the husband wanted to do it, it'd usually be an anniversary gift. i'd want to keep the ring untouched, as said ^. but i've seen hubbies buy their wife a very nice ring for 5, 10, 15, however many years anniversary when the engagement one was an inexpensive one.

7/9/2006 11:14:00 PM

ambrosia- design and smithing myself. most likely a gold/ silver mokume gane over silver band

7/10/2006 12:01:58 PM

Get a CZ, nobody fucking knows anyway. Diamonds destroy the environment and by buying one you're only contributing to the DeBeers monopoly.

Donate the rest to charity, I suggest Mercy Corps.

This thread is a little sad. How can a little, overpriced rock help determine whether you're going to spend the rest of your life with someone? How can it tell you anything about your man and his committment that you don't already know? Really, it's just like a downpayment, ladies do you really consider yourself property?

I suppose i'm just a romantic. But if you really want the ring, to have something to pawn if he leaves you, you should seriously reconsider how you think about your life.

7/10/2006 12:32:50 PM

but umm, that's more or less the historical reason for it

7/10/2006 1:04:26 PM