Quote :

"When a white person offers you wine, you take a small sip and then say “ooh, that’s nice. What country is it from?” then they will say the name of the country and you say “I love wines from that country, I would love to get a villa in the wine region there.” White people will nod in agreement as they all want to have a second home in a wine region like Napa, Tuscany or Santa Barbara."

[Edited on February 14, 2008 at 1:52 PM. Reason : page 2 ]

2/14/2008 1:52:32 PM

I have never once had wine that I actually really like. Wine ranges from tolerable to terrible.

They are right about the microbrews though.

2/14/2008 1:57:02 PM

sideways was a terrible movie.

2/14/2008 1:58:30 PM

Most of them seem to focus on liberal, urban trends among white people.

2/14/2008 2:09:21 PM

^yes

i noticed that especially when it said that white people hated suvs, which totally voids the majority number of suburbanite white people

2/14/2008 2:17:41 PM

lol at today's

2/14/2008 2:33:40 PM

racist?

2/14/2008 2:36:19 PM

^you know black people can't be racist, silly.

2/14/2008 2:51:33 PM

site down?

2/14/2008 3:00:13 PM

TWW crashed it

2/14/2008 3:00:34 PM

i have been laughing out loud for like 5 mins now

2/14/2008 3:03:14 PM

fine i'll do it



COFFEE'S HOT TODAY EH BORKA

2/14/2008 3:03:25 PM

the site is definitely down for me...guess it couldn't handle all the hits

2/14/2008 3:53:49 PM

site down

TWW broke it!!

2/14/2008 4:46:17 PM

2/14/2008 4:51:21 PM

alternate site:

http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.wordpress.com/

2/14/2008 4:54:19 PM

stuffwhitehipsterslike

2/14/2008 4:55:24 PM

^^ you're the best

2/14/2008 4:59:03 PM

this site is the damned truth. though, yes, much of it is white hipster likes.

2/14/2008 5:03:14 PM

Quote :

"#16 “Gifted” Children White people love “gifted” children, do you know why? Because an astounding 100% of their kids are gifted! Isn’t that amazing? I’m pretty sure the last non-gifted white child was born in 1962 in Reseda, CA. Since then, it’s been a pretty sweet run. The way it works is that white kids that are actually smart are quickly identified as “gifted” and take special classes and eventually end up in college and then law school or med school. But wait, aren’t there white people who aren’t doctors or lawyers, or even all that smart? Well, here is another one of those awesome white person win-win situations. Because if a white kid gets crappy grades and can’t seem to ever do anything right in school, they are still gifted! How you ask? They are just TOO smart for school. They are too creative, too advanced to care about the trivial minutiae of the day to day operations of school. Eventually they will show their creativity in their elaborate constructions of bongs and intimate knowledge different kinds of mushrooms and hash. This is important if you ever find yourself needing to gain white person acceptance. If you see their kid playing peacefully, you say “oh, he/she seems very focused, are they in a gifted program?” at which point the parent will say “yes.” Or if the kid is lighting a dog on fire while screaming at their mother, you say “my he/she is a creative one. Is he/she gifted?” To which the parent will reply “oh, yes, he’s too creative and smart for school. We just don’t know what to do.” Either situation will put a white person in a better mood and make them like you more. But NEVER under any circumstance imply that their child is less than a genius. The idea that something could come from them and be less than greatness is too much for them to bear."

ahahaha best one yet

2/14/2008 6:23:16 PM

according to this site... i'm apparently not white afterall... what am i?

2/14/2008 6:27:21 PM

asian?

2/14/2008 6:28:30 PM

I'll make one up right now

white people like to negotiate with their 3-4 year old kids. Yes negotiating with a human being that has no concept of time, space, or money. Its great to watch them at the mall. White children controlling white adults.

2/14/2008 6:37:09 PM

Quote :

"Forbidden You don't have permission to access / on this server. Additionally, a 403 Forbidden error was encountered while trying to use an ErrorDocument to handle the request."

[Edited on February 14, 2008 at 6:43 PM. Reason : ]

2/14/2008 6:42:44 PM

http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.wordpress.com/

we crashed the other site

2/14/2008 6:45:18 PM

Quote :

"#46 The Sunday New York Times January 31, 2008 by clander Mornings are exceptionally important to white people, as witnessed by their love of breakfast places. However, some white people never go out for breakfast on a Sunday Morning. The reason? The Sunday edition of the New York Times. A perfect white sunday generally works like this. Wake up at around 8:45, if the paper is delivered, then one walks to the front door, retrieves the paper and begins a pot of coffee. If the paper is not delivered, a white person will go out and usually buy the supplies needed for breakfast - bagels, orange juice, lox, cream cheese, or waffle mix. Some white people even pick up freshly brewed coffee with the paper! Once coffee, food, and the newspaper have been procured, white people put on extra mellow music (Jazz, Classical, or for the cooler ones in the bunch, ambient trip hop or something along those lines). They then procede to read each section of the paper, stopping periodically to tell their partner about the interesting news they have just seen. “Looks like another civil war might break out in Africa,” “did you see that the Met is doing Tristan and Isolde?” White couples usually fight over who gets to read the Sunday Magazine first. How do we know this? They will tell us repeatedly about how they always fight over the Sunday magazine. The secret you may not know, is that deep down, all white people are desperately trying to make their life seem like an ad for a Sub Zero refrigerator, or an article in Gourmet/Bon Appetit magazine. To achieve either of these goals will set white people at ease. But note well, that the sports section will always remain perfectly creased and unread, unless they have a teenage son. So on Monday morning, if you need to impress your coworkers, choose to talk about something you read in the Book Review section, the magazine, or Sunday Style. All white people are expected to do this. You are given an exemption during your early college years, but by age 22 it is pretty much law."

I do love breakfast (I had corned beef hash, eggs, and hashbrowns for dinner), and reading the Sunday paper while listening to some classical or some Miles Davis. My God! I'm so white!

2/14/2008 6:51:09 PM

Quote :

"#32 Vegan/Vegetarianism As with many white people activities, being vegan/vegetarian enables them to feel as though they are helping the environment AND it gives them a sweet way to feel superior to others. For further evidence, note how the vegetarian world has increasing levels of extemism (no meat, no dairy, no eggs, no fish, nothing that has been cooked, etc). Much like not watching TV, this makes white people pretty hard to deal with on a day to day basis - having dinner, going to restaurants, having them over to watch political debates all become major challenges as they will talk about how they cannot eat anything and would rather that the meat and cheese be thrown in the garbage than put into their bodies. But wait, aren’t there white people who eat organice, grain fed, free range cattle and chicken? Yes, these white people are wracked with guilt knowing that they are eating a dead animal, contributing to rainforest deforestation, and global warming. Whether you are dealing with a meat eater or a vegan/vegetarian, there are many ways to use this information to your advantage. If you require a favor from a vegetarian white person, you should invite them to a dinner with your family. When your mother/grandmother offers them a dish with meat in it, they will reject it saying that they are vegetarian. When the meal is over, tell them that your mom is very embarrassed, and that in your culture rejecting food is the equivalent of spitting on someone’s grave. They will then owe you favor, this can be repeated when you need trips to the airport, someone to help you move, a small interest free loan, or a place for your friend to crash. If you need to gain leverage with a meat eater, it’s pretty easy. They already feel guilty, just point it out."

2/14/2008 7:00:26 PM

I like it.

2/14/2008 7:15:15 PM

Quote :

"Well, it looks like my host couldn’t handle the traffic and I have to switch to a dedicated host for the time being. The .org site will be back up tomorrow with new posts. Until that time, this will have to do."

We really did crash it...nice

2/14/2008 11:15:11 PM

white people like plasma tv's and mac's.

2/14/2008 11:17:28 PM

they could at least diversify their jokes.

i can only read so many insults of hipsters until it gets repetitive.

2/14/2008 11:40:21 PM

bttt

2/18/2008 5:41:54 PM

the one about indie music reminded of the entertainment section of tww and about 4 users in particular

2/18/2008 5:51:46 PM

ooh, ooh!

it's me, spooky, stillfuchsia, and sarijoul

2/18/2008 5:53:04 PM

probably

but I admit to #3, #8, #10, #13, #19, #24, #26, #35, #38, #39, #41, #42, #47, #49, #50, #53, #68

'cause I'm white as fuck

[Edited on February 18, 2008 at 6:00 PM. Reason : .]

2/18/2008 5:54:07 PM

expensive sandwiches...that's me.

2/18/2008 5:56:18 PM

you're off one name

2/18/2008 5:57:53 PM

then it's gotta be

kodiak or cif82

2/18/2008 6:02:02 PM

oddly appropriate

Quote :

"Difficult Breakups Prior to engaging in divorce, most white people train for it by engaging in a series of long term relationships that end very poorly. At some point, you will likely encounter a white person who is in the middle of a difficult breakup with a boyfriend or girlfriend. The suffering of heartbreak is universal, but it is important to be aware that white people thrive during these trying times. If you play your cards right, you can parlay these moments into future favors and valuable trust."

2/18/2008 6:03:06 PM

you're wise young one!

2/18/2008 6:03:12 PM

Which one?

[Edited on February 18, 2008 at 6:19 PM. Reason : .]

2/18/2008 6:05:01 PM

and which name of the first four was wrong?

2/18/2008 6:06:14 PM

kodiak... cif nor sarijoul have completely struck me as bad with their music snobbitry, unlike well... youse guys

2/18/2008 6:06:37 PM

this is about the kind of white people that normal white people laugh about, such as the people who still have Kerry/Edwards stickers on their Volvos and Subarus and claim to be pro-environment while they live in subdivisions that acres and acres of land were destroyed to build.

2/18/2008 6:08:02 PM

yeah, well

i guess that's just life

but i was DJing last night and the owner of a different bar came up and offered me another DJing job

so i'm secure in my "snobbery"

2/18/2008 6:08:07 PM

well I hope you were also secure in your Jackpottery

also, LOL, Kodiak will giggle at that

2/18/2008 6:09:46 PM

Why are all of these entries directed against white liberals?

2/18/2008 6:10:25 PM

because they can take a joke without getting their panties in a wad?

2/18/2008 6:11:20 PM

^^^^ word, congrats on that then


^^^ I'm too lazy to search for a definition, but I'm sure it's like everything else on tww, funny and creative

^^ because, surprisingly people do laugh at them outside of the typical "white people" circles

[Edited on February 18, 2008 at 6:12 PM. Reason : sgs]

2/18/2008 6:11:24 PM

the dog one is spot on

2/18/2008 6:13:38 PM